Fireside III
It is to the Village Square that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom. Then when their minds have been filled, they retire to the tavern on the western side of the square where they share in social discussion, learning of each other’s events and challenges, happinesses and sometimes sadnesses, too. With a mug or glass in hand, they collect in front of the great Fireplace that dominates the long wall. Benches and chairs are often filled on market day with those who have come from farther away, bringing news of events and views the local people delight in hearing.
If you are feeling disoriented by all the philosophical talk by the fountain in the Village Square, then come sit down on the bench here with us for a while just to soothe your mind and share a mug of tea or coffee. Let’s all make sure the conversation is quiet and simple, caring and thougtful, exactly the kind of talk you might have around a warm hearth, the only light filling the room coming from the fireplace.
This is the third installment in the Fireside discussion series. After we reach 900 comments, the page takes too long to load on your computer, and so we start another fresh page. To review previous discussions, we keep the old pages (Fireside I and Fireside II) which you can find under the ‘Village’ tab on the navigation bar at the top of screen under the image of the tree.
Dear cosy fireside family, I just got through about two weeks of messages and chatting here by this warm hearth. So glad to spend a few minutes by your side, just listening and sitting with you all.
I’m still in such a quiet place, there’s little movement to write or be very vocal. I’m just letting the inner directions get more settled, and working on the little willingness, trying to smile and chuckle at the part of me that says, yes, well, we’ll keep it just that – a little willingness. Yet every time I chuckle like that, somehow it seems the willingness takes a stride forward. So I’m feeling like Pam, a nice sense that things are happening and moving, but nothing I can put my finger on.
I still think it’s the result of the trip to Temecula. Something had to give over here, a new inner direction had to come forward.
I’m fully back in the building trade now, but it feels so much better than the last time a year ago. Much more relaxed, very little pressure. Still quite sore at night, but feeling good to be working again (and earning some money).
Two interesting things… Pat and I are starting to sell at markets on the weekend. I made an acquaintance who imports silks and woolens from India, so we’ll be selling these amazingly exotic and colorful, beautiful scarves and shawls at the local markets here. This will be really great fun for us.
Then I made contact with a woman who runs the esoteric bookshop in a nearby big-ish town, and told her about my idea of starting to do presentations on this ‘thing’ called ACIM. She so loved the idea that she wants to host it in her own home. It’s so strange for me to get this kind of reception for my idea, since till recently everyone has been looking at me like I’m a little green man from Mars with antennae and three feet. I’ll keep you all informed as things start to get set up. I might have to change one of the tabs at the Village here to read ‘France’ or ‘Français’, to welcome these newcomers to the site, give them a little space here. That just helps to avoid setting up a whole other site right now (which i’ve had problems doing – it just doesn’t seem to want to work, a little like Nina’s recent problem with her page).
Loving you all, lighting a candelabra with three tall candles and setting it on the low table, turning off the lights so we can just sit and hum together by the glow of the candles and the fire…
Your Mayor
PS Loving Ken and his extraordinary work even more, if that’s possible. New insights, doors opening…
Nina, dear friend –
perhaps not the best day/time to pick up the banana/anana thang (: – given that you seem to have had a trying time with the internet/technology/logins/web-sites/passwords – yes, that whole technology system can bring one down anytime ! (: —
but……(:
i have no idea what an anana is.
and i would much prefer sliced bananas, sitting beside Lawrence and you. Hope that’s OK ? (:
Nice note, Mr. Mayor. Thank you !
Lawrence, hope you’re still not getting up at 3am. (Today’s my turn – I got up at 1:30am to communicate with Hong Kong. 1:55am as I write this.
A new day – I am promised that Creations’ freedom is my own ! (:
Cheers to all,
a
good to hear from you Bernard. The selling at market sounds like fun, would love to see your wares maybe a picture of your stall in a gallery. And the bookshop lady willing to host at her home way cool.
a* you are definantly living a life showing the falsity of the concept of time and space flitting through the time zones on a regular basis and talking with others in the only “time and space” Here and Now regardless of appereances.
HUGS to all
“How can I end my suffering” – new video with Benjamin Smythe. You can watch it on my blog, or his website i guess –
all I need to know is in this video –
his teaching washes me clean.
So very very enjoyable
going very early to bed with pills
natti
please wish me happy dreams
Nina
Ne video with Benjamin – one wonderful question that erases all judgment for me:
“How can this thought disturb the space it occurs in?”
Same with sounds of course – acts -! images…
Today everyone seems to go out of their way to smile to me and be graceful. Inside it feels just as crappy as it usually feels – but this way of kindness from others show me that I must seem otherwise to people than i feel myself – which is WONDERFUL I tell you.
Love to all
Nina
I hope that someone here could offer some suggestions here that I may overlook.
Dream: A wonderful little man is playing his miniature puppet theater for a group of people ( my fellow pupils at my high-school Latin-class): we are laying on our stomach to be able to look the beautiful and endearing little puppet in its face. The puppeteer is visible all the time, manipulating the puppet, and there is this exquisite moment of Presence…a feeling of unspeakable sweetness and unity with the puppet and puppeteer and audience. It is one of these moment where you know you are witnessing great art, where all the “natural laws” seem to be out of function, and there is only NOW.
In the puppet master’s company are two Hungarian women (he is from Hungary too.) The one has a sick son, and complains that the authorities who could be of assistance does not listen to her, or help. I ask her if she wants that SHE shall tell the authorities what to do,and that the authorities shall do as she wishes. She says yes, of course.I suggest that then she would take the place of the authorities, and that that could be problematic.
She simply will not listen to this, and starts to interrupt me: “Blah blah blah.” I say with loud voice: “Now you are acting toward me exactly the same way you tell me that the authorities are doing toward you. The authorities are a mirror of your own behavior – they are your projections.”
She just repeats her “blahblahI will not listen” and I say, whiplike: “If you do not like our authorities, get your ass back to Hungary!”
That felt good.
Now, there is to be a great celebration at my old high school. Right before we enter the great hall, there is a little chair – a chair for a dolls house. We are entering the puppet-master’s big class-room, and I still do not get that this is a dream.
I am the first in a big parade who is going to do a dance in the praise of beer! The man I am dancing with, who is leading me, is the former boss of the National Cooperation of food-shops. Hi name is now Jaroslaw: A polish name.
Beer…praise of beer..bear…the black bear is a totem for me, a shamanic power-animal.
Many loose threads here – and I hope that by writing it down, the subconscious will be stimulated to give me more dreams this night.
Gee Nina I’m not sure what to say. I’ve reread this 6 or so times since yesterday and just can’t get anything that “flows”. the puppet and puppeter being visiable suggest to me that “with a little willingness to look” the ego can not hide what it does that the puppet does not act on it’s own nor inversly is controlled by hidden forces. It is all out in the open if one doesn’t choose to willingly not look.
Other than that…..shrugs shoulders
Thanks Pam! I can hear you voice when I read you, love that. Big hug! that was a confirmation of what came to me later, so I think it is on the spot.
I think the dancer is Jesus: national cooperative 🙂
And I think “hungary” has to do with hunger – ego!!! I am glad i sent her back!!! The puppet master was NOT from Hungary, but from Tsjekkia for godsake – and Tsjekkia is for me the symbol of the heart of Europe. (And my late husband was indeed a puppet master from Tsjekkia – but this was not him: this was much gentler…unless dear Karel has mellowed since his “death”…I think he has, he was a great scholar and therefore loved to learn.
warm hug, and good Sunday everyone – really raining outside, almost snow, it feels like ( but at least the trees are reddening (:
How are you, dear Bernard?
lotsalove
Nina
thanks, Pam – I do try to live my life as if the illusion of time doesn’t matter. sometimes i succeed, most times not (;
on a completely different note, q905 on Jamie’s site has this gem of a quotation from our good friend, Dr. W —
“The end of guilt will never come as long as you believe there is a reason for it.” (T.13.X.6:1,2)
Now, the reason for me that this line is striking, is because:
a) I never read it. (: – and don’t remember reading it either
b) In all the poetry and beauty of the Course, I never knew that there was such a simple straightforward line such as this – I mean, there’s nothing poetic about it at all, and I mean that as a compliment (: — (although I do love different kinds of poetry, especially Rumi)
How simple is the truth. So clean and straightforward…. “The end of guilt will never come as long as” I “believe there is a reason for it” !!
I’m in KC right now at my parents place. Who knows, perhaps my entire family here(parents, wife and son) will go out with me to Unity Village here in Kansas City – they can enjoy the beautiful gardens, while I will see if I can “sneak” into the Gary Renard and Rev. Jennifer weekend course being held at the Unity campus.
Wish me luck !! (:
love,
a
Oh a – I wish you luck! May you easily and graciously find yourself where you are the most happy, ever and ever
Natti all
Nina
Hi Nina, thanks for asking. I’m really fine. It has been a bit chaotic here over the last couple of months. Maybe things will start to settle down a bit now. We lost our primary source of income in September and went through a phase of working out where we were heading. We have a bit better of an idea now. Since I ran down most of my reserves during the past year when i wasn’t working, that didn’t leave us much room for error.
What’s important is that we feel fundamentally good within ourselves. The money stuff is just our learning process, and I’m glad we’re working on it positively. It gets fed into the Forgiveness Machine that churns out some really great answers! We get to see that we’re not guilty sinners just because we can’t work out our finances. It’s such an amazing relief to feel that deep level of acceptance and understanding that comes from those other mystical realms. It’s there, that Love is truly there. And it says All is okay, no matter what you think is going on. All is truly okay, even if you don’t see it right now. And the more we can really accept that, the more we can accept that we are forgiven for crimes that were never committed, the freer we can feel from all constraints. Living with a sense of freedom from guilt is the only real reward we need to work toward. Then what happens is so much less important.
Sorry I haven’t had a moment to reply to your many posts, Nina. There have been some really interesting thoughts along the way. Likewise with ‘a’. As usual, he always finds a way of something really deep things in so few words – not like me!
Got to head into the sack to get up for work tomorrow – it’s nearly midnight. We’re preparing our stall for the markets – so much fun and creativity.
Lots of love to everyone.
PS Pam, did you ever manage to get those youtube addresses of Cory’s together? I lost them in the spam-shuffle at the site and would like to post them if you can find them. I’m getting 40 spams a day at the Village – phew!
Not to worry about the link,Bernard. Ahh the price of success…spam ): Just another class room I suppose.(:
Bernard, it is kind of you to share the road you and Pam find yourselves on. I think most of us knew that the time you were able to spend with us would become less and less. Try not to worry about your future prospects, they have a way of sorting themselves out. The sun seems to come up and go down and then the moon does its dance and we find ourselves still ourselves, rich man, poor man, beggar man thief. Don’t worry no stories about me 🙂 But, in truth, Sharon and I have never had a savings, and for 33 years now we have lived pretty much day to day. We don”t even have life insurance. I haven’t been able to get it for some time now and Sharon won’t here of it. Yikes, sounds like a story to me. Bottom line is, life is what you make it, the rest is just fluff. We Love each other, and the the not so little kids are doing fine, so no worries.
I have a very good feeling you will land on your feet, and that the future is bright. Sharon and I have started a Flea Market where we rent out spaces, both inside and out for people to sell their wares. We are going into our sixth week now and are having a lot of fun. So, when I heard what you guys were doing, I got a big kick out of it. It is a lot of work and I wish I were a little younger (don’t we all!) but I will survive.
A general apology to all, for not making more of an effort to post and for leaving good friends for a year like I did. I have read some of the older posts and now realize how easy it is to love you guys. Pam said she does the same thing I do, and that is think about you all during the day from time to time. I have a doctors appointment to see if there is something to take for this, but in the meantime I will just have to live with it for awhile.
So, Mr. Mayor Sir, I wish you guys nothing but the best. and as I said I think the best is yet to come.
God bless us every one
lawrence
Bernard, Sorry about that, make that Pat not Pam. Correction, sorry Pat! It’s an old guy thing!
lawrence
Sharing the early mornings happiness with y’all.
LOVE to hear about the market-plans, B – I see the wonderful happy faces to you and Pat, and think it will be a great adventure!
***
OK villagers – are you ready?
copying from the blog:
This is my root belief, revisited now in the night: the belief in a stalker – and that there are stalkers in reality – I happily bring that to Love. I do the visualization I started yesterday – I take the false-mind-thought in my arms and walk the golden bridge to the land of Light and reality.
I just couldn’t do it.
I see that the fear has its origin in the first fear – that God is out to get me, because I sinned – so I have to be on the lookout all the time, so he does not find me. This is a ludicrous thought – that it would be possible to hide from God – but there it is, taken seriously.
I see the strange thing that I somehow find value in keeping this fear.
“Why would I want to keep it, Blue?”
“Because it is your fear.”
I lie in an ocean of sweet silence, smiling at the insanity in this – my need to keep the me going here, the insanity in believing that fear makes me Me.
Sweet Jesus, I want to be wrong about this.
This sly fear. It has built into its system that I have to hold on to it: if I do not watch out for stalkers, they will take me by surprise. Only if I am fully set up for alarm am I safe. It is mine now this fearpattern, and I cherish it as my protection against insanity and hell. I am doomed without it.
How wonderful to see the truth of the ego-thought-system so clearly; everything upside down.
The release and joy I experience now is exquisite: these thoughts are no longer believed in, they belong to ego.
The insanity and hell the ego fears is Love.
From within this peace, the view is clear: this is nothing else than a little error. I see the sea of Love that this little error swims in, and the Son of God remembers to laugh.
I am noticing this old pain in the neck – and the neck is only a thought too. It is all an innocent error – and see what happens the second I take it seriously: the world arises.
I feel myself ascending through depths of murky waters, before seen as beloved landscapes, because it was “mine.”
Giving up this fear is not fearful at all: it is giving up nothing.
Dear Blue – Love that I am. I still seem to be a body in a world. The ache in my butt proves it, right?
Ah, but the belief that it is reality is slipping.
Maybe I simply don’t find it as interesting any longer.
re 464.Lawrence, Not an old guy thing… It’s a Pat Pam thing. I know my; mom’s name is Pat also and we both get called each others name a lot. (:
OOooo Nina 465 left me all goose bumpy in a good way. hugs
Have You Ever Tried to Enter the Long Black Branches?
Have you ever tried to enter the long black branches
of other lives —
tried to imagine what the crisp fringes, full of honey,
hanging
from the branches of the young locust trees, in early morning,
feel like?
Do you think this world was only an entertainment for you?
Never to enter the sea and notice how the water divides
with perfect courtesy, to let you in!
Never to lie down on the grass, as though you were the grass!
Never to leap to the air as you open your wings over
the dark acorn of your heart!
No wonder we hear, in your mournful voice, the complaint
that something is missing from your life!
Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?
Who can travel the miles who does not put one foot
in front of the other, all attentive to what presents itself
continually?
Who will behold the inner chamber who has not observed
with admiration, even with rapture, the outer stone?
Well, there is time left —
fields everywhere invite you into them.
And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away
from wherever you are, to look for your soul?
Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!
To put one’s foot into the door of the grass, which is
the mystery, which is death as well as life, and
not be afraid!
To set one’s foot in the door of death, and be overcome
with amazement!
To sit down in front of the weeds, and imagine
god the ten-fingered, sailing out of his house of straw,
nodding this way and that way, to the flowers of the
present hour,
to the song falling out of the mockingbird’s pink mouth,
to the tippets of the honeysuckle, that have opened
in the night
To sit down, like a weed among weeds, and rustle in the wind!
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?
While the soul, after all, is only a window,
and the opening of the window no more difficult
than the wakening from a little sleep.
Only last week I went out among the thorns and said
to the wild roses:
deny me not,
but suffer my devotion.
Then, all afternoon, I sat among them. Maybe
I even heard a curl or tow of music, damp and rouge red,
hurrying from their stubby buds, from their delicate watery bodies.
For how long will you continue to listen to those dark shouters,
caution and prudence?
Fall in! Fall in!
A woman standing in the weeds.
A small boat flounders in the deep waves, and what’s coming next
is coming with its own heave and grace.
Meanwhile, once in a while, I have chanced, among the quick things,
upon the immutable.
What more could one ask?
And I would touch the faces of the daises,
and I would bow down
to think about it.
That was then, which hasn’t ended yet.
Now the sun begins to swing down. Under the peach-light,
I cross the fields and the dunes, I follow the ocean’s edge.
I climb, I backtrack.
I float.
I ramble my way home.
~ Mary Oliver ~
(West Wind: Poems and Prose Poems)
Dear Lawrence, thank you, kind sir, for your most encouraging words. Very sweet of you, and just perfect. I felt really warmed by that post, and could really feel that boost in confidence, that feeling that, hey, he’s right! Sounds just great, the flea market. Are you doing it at your place? Must be a lot of work, as you say. But there must be some fun in there, too. Richard wrote me and said he thought I was turning into Paulo from my book! (Because Paulo has a market stall) How did you go about advertizing and getting people to come? I’m sure people must be glad to know there’s a place they can come to sell their stuff. I’ll take photos of our stall once we’ve got it all squared away and post them here. Maybe you can take a pic of your place on ‘flea-market day’. What have your called your place, or the event, does it have a name?
I have a terrific announcement to make: this coming week I’m doing my first ever, ever presentation on ACIM, and it’s in French. I made contact with the person who runs the esoteric book store in a nearby town asking her if she knew of any place to hold meetings of a ‘philosophical’ nature. I told her it was about A Course In Miracles, ‘Have you heard of it?’ She said that she’d never heard of it, except that just the day before I called someone had come into her shop asking about it and telling her it was a really important work. She immediately had a good feeling about it. She said she didn’t know of any place in particular, but we could meet at her place. Well… I asked where she lived, thinking she lived some ways out of town. She said in the grounds of the Municipal Cultural Center. This was weird, because I had always seen these groups being held at that center, but they ask too much for the rental of their space ($70 an evening). We met at her place and had a good discussion. She has emailed her contacts and we’ll see who’s interested. Funny…
NINA – just awesomely great writing. Seriously. There’s a poem in there somewhere. Just… how to make all those perceptions stick?? But surely these are fabulous stepping stones along the golden path back to that luminous state of mind in which all is beautifully, perfectly healed and whole and one. Ah… (Going for another read)
And that was also a really nice poem…
“While the soul, after all, is only a window,
and the opening of the window no more difficult
than the wakening from a little sleep.”
She writes amazingly well, beautiful.
Bernard – (sighing relieved) you’re on it. I am so happy to read it. You think it is funny – these “coincidences?” really? come on, dear. It’s just your life, lining up ahead of you, and you are so sweetly and gently led on – and all the right people fall into your lap, or you fall into theirs – the Love is ready to be received.
And this may come as a suprise, dear B: you see we have secretly set up a connection line to your first event: you are being transferred by a miraculous loving dingsbatning called sourcey to the Fireside, where all your loving friends are gathered – also miraculously: no distances here –
and we will enjoy out Mayor and teacher and surrealist friend when he, led by Love, allows it to flow through him to his friends here, and the people who has shown up. The opening is felt throughout the illusion, angels are smiling!! it’s all arranged. it’s all taken care off, you are held by Love ( nothin new, in other words.)
Love you sweetie
and please wear clean socks
Nina
dear Nina – thanks for the sweet wishes for eternal happiness ! May they come into my awareness always until they become my permanent reality !
I read your happy post #465, and I think Pam says it best — it was really a striking and mind-expanding, heart-filling description of your experience. So thank you, as always for sharing that with us.
Lawrence, dear brother – I loved your letter to Bernard. And I loved your reference to seeing the doctor about “it” (: — I trust I’m not mis-reading a serious reference for humor ! (:
And Bernard, so good to read your thoughts. So liberating to hear you articulate your and Pat’s experiences with money/no-money/wealth/that whole-ball-of-wax. It’s something I too am grappling with each day. Especially as I am at my parents place, and my about-to-turn-70-year old father is still working to pay his mortgage, and I am unable to find the liquidity to pay it off for him. (Some self-sabotaging and poor wealth-creation choices in my youth).
It’s very hard these days for me to not obsess about money. I/we(my mini-family of 3) are better off than we have been for the last 4 years, and still I feel helpless in the face of some pretty steep family challenges.
I guess it will be ever thus – the material hold on my mind will cling as long as I allow it too, conciously and unconciously. And really I can do nothing about it, as long as I perceive myself as “me”. This body on this planet.
I was talking about it to a friend today, and he said – ‘dont’ worry, there’s light at the end of the tunnel”. And I found myself saying…
“It’s not that I’m in a tunnel
and that the light is far away.
It’s more that there is light all around me,
sparkling and clear, and I am obsessed with the darkness in my mind.”
All is well, my dear friends. As Ken says in Workshop notes newly posted on Jamie’s site (Oct 12: FACIM” Ego: Thing of the Past) –
“the right question is not: Why is this XYZ happening to me ? It’s why am I obsessing about it”.
Over and out (:
Love.
a
dearest a – ah, yes, the obsessing about it.this: “(Some self-sabotaging and poor wealth-creation choices in my youth).” – makes me remember that choices made by the ego are not valid at all: we just believe they are. And as we find the willingness to question there hard-held beliefs that we are victims of the beliefs we had before, they might simply vanish.
I posted a video with David Hoffmeister yesterday on my blog. he is speaking of different levels – and the root-level is that of desire. maybe finding out what that desire was, in your youth, and be willing to doubt its value might change something?
For me, i find so many silly wishes7desires still being held out of habit – while i really don’t value them any longer.
hugs and love
Nina
really good stuff going on here!!
nina … am loving your powerfully creative sharings … so full of enthusiastic depth and inspiration … guidance and wisdom and assurances and supportive and encouragements … very applicable to everything
am welcoming bernard and pat in to the market place … for years I sold my stained glass creations at art fairs … it’s so much fun to meet the people and bring beauty into so many lives
you’re not really selling scarves … the scarves are the form maybe, but the content is beauty, joy, loveliness, something that adds a glow
money is a kind of energy that follows gratitude and appreciation … happiness is sexy, happiness is attractive and super joy attracts money really well … people want what you have and will want to buy it … and they’ll think it’s in the scarves … that’s ok … it kind of is … you and pat … your energy and compliments and making each one feel appreciated and beautiful … the crowds will gather … everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated … the scarves will sell
it’s good to have something less expensive around to sell too … people that can’t afford the scarves or who maybe aren’t into scarves, will still want to buy that happiness and fun that you and pat will be demonstrating and exemplifying … have some fun smaller things and those will sell really well too
it’s all fun … as ben franklin says, desperation never made a good bargain … it’s so much in the healed heart of sharing and joy … not from the place of needing and getting, but sharing and giving … everyone wants to help and give and participate in the living loving stuff
love that the energy of paulo will be there … he knows a lot about the marketplace!!
all the sharings here have been so helpful
thank you everyone
the hush of heaven holds my heart today
one of the most beautiful lessons … full of comfort and assurance
all is well … it’s all good … and all manner of things shall be well
hey have I ever mentioned that I love you guys?
Wow – is this fireside fueled by love and kindness, or what??
Thanks so much for all these great, great thoughts. I just have five minutes to read through these posts this morning and will have to respond this evening. Gotta walk Athos quickly before heading off.
A – we gotta talk! Sounds like we’re in a similar frame of mind about this strange ‘substance’ we call money, which is as everyone is saying purely the reflection of a state of mind. What’s really great is that at least we know where the real problem is – not in our wallets or bank accounts. Zafu, such loving and lovely thoughts – I’m going to read them out to Pat!
And Nina, so delighted and healed by your words. Thanks, Luv!
Will chat later…
B
PS Annie wrote and told me she’s going through a total lack of creativity spell! But she loves us all!
Annie, you don’t have to be creative in non-existent world, only loving, and you got that covered in spades!
Off to the foot doctor, and running late.
God bless us every one
lawrence
Hi lovelies,
Love you too Pam and everybody else. I am busy these days too with work and family, etc. Experiencing quick access to a peaceful mind lately which is such a joy and real noticable as being with Jesus/right mind since last six months or so seemed so different. Hugs!
Kendall. Great to have you here again. loves
nina
{{{{Big hugs to everyone}}}}.
Dear Village Family ~
Happy Dawn of a New Day to Everyone! I’ve been catching up reading everyone’s wonderfully loving and interesting posts for the last couple of weeks and have been planning on catching everyone up with my news for quite some time.
Zafu your journey continuing and the beautiful way you express yourself and the comfort and safety your mother is feeling knowing you’re there to stay home with her is such a clean story to witness. I think I’m saying clean because in the presence of your natural wisdom all of the “worlds” family dramas and memories that we’ve all seen and experienced in different parts of our lives, we can take into our hearts your experience and let it be our reality too.
Bernard and Pat and Lawrence and Sharon launching their farmers markets wares, rental stalls are great news. Zafu had a great take on what is really being shared and experienced there. I am a huge fan of farmers markets.
Nina loved all your progression of posts and especially your 465 one. I’m going to use the idea of taking my false wrong minded fear thoughts in my arms and carrying them into the light of love.
a…did you get to sneak into the Renard/forget her name Unity workshop? We all can relate to unwise wealth choices and witnessing family struggles we’d love to help with. I really loved what Zafu had to say about money and Lawrence too.
Annie I see you have a post for me in my email, and I’m writing here first as I’m having a full schedule celebratory weekend and really wanted to love up everyone here and share my news this morning. I didn’t see your ponder here about creativity, and your feeling the lack of it, but I think of you and always have as an inspiration of joining and connecting in the way you write from your heart and take in and reflect back in the most natural expressive in the moment way.
Just took a break and scrolled way up here wanted to see what Katrina and Kendall had to say didn’t want to leave you two out, and got far up enough to see Winnie’s last post and want to say yes Winnie…would love to see your video string together. Who is the redhead/ I get dyslexic and get our two K’s mixed up. I think our red head always wears a hat in her gravatar.
Then I chanced upon a’s post about our hidden hates and I’m watching mine. I’m dealing with yet another forgiveness lesson with my daughter. I call it her, just can’t be bothered to be grateful, or go out of her way syndrome. I will see them today as they drove down along with one of Lasya’s best friends from OR to enjoy the weekend in CA in Santa Cruz at my ex husband’s house and will drive by today to spend a couple of hours with me on their way back. I have a friend who lives in SF who keeps her sailboat in the harbor I can see from my house and as I type right now. We might all motor out on her boat if the weather gets nicer this afternoon and have a picnic on it. That should be fun.
Pam..scrolled up far enough to see your post about not posting. To me you are a constant presence here always tending the hearth in unique to you always always always practical, humorous and helpful and Cory too of course…oh and please send me the Cory youtube links too.
Tex..loving you too and your in and out posts. And Lisi and Donna and Melody and Jean and Bev, and Richard and everyone whose name I’m not mentioning…Tex you do the best job of including everyone by not naming anyone but making it all One.
Look at me, I just disappeared for a long stretch. I am checking in the day before my Bday, cause I’m way overdue here and thought it would be perfect timing to devote to a long post and cause I’m looking forward to all the extra love we get here on our birthdays.
So.. I think I did mention I had an almost full time job, earning the least amount of money I’d made in decades, but that was very easy, uplifting and helpful to both of us. And it actually turned out to be enough combined with the early social security I went for getting last Oct when I turned 62. I was hired by the wife of the husband who was in his 80’s who had Alzheimer’s for the last 8 years. They lived here right in town 6 minutes away in a very beautiful home in the hills of Sausalito. I would go and pick him up and leave my car parked, and use their second car so all the driving and gas costs were paid by them which was a fab benefit, plus it was all under the table as we say here. We would mainly come back to my house house and play games. Outside when he weather was nice and warm and we did have a warm spring and early summer. He could make a 95 word score in Scrabble! We’d play monopoly and cross word puzzles. He also liked having a mixed plate I learned from the start. I thought I needed to give him all my attention all the time he was with me, but learned he liked having his space too doing his cross word puzzles all comfy on my couch with his feet up on an ottoman. I learned from the two other alternating caregivers he had, they could do the same. So I could do work around my house or deck garden, be on the computer, sit across from him and read and be paid for that which was great of course.
I would also take him driving out on long and short drives to various nature spots, he and I both didn’t like to be out when it was windy, we would take short walks and have fun adventures together. He was very very funny and loved to be witty and he was so kind, gentlemanly and thoughtful. He’s still living, don’t be confused by the use of “was”. His wife decided she wanted someone to live in with him full time at their home so she could get back to living her life more. She tried one person for a short time and so the three of us who shared the work lost our work while she was there. His wife had asked me if I wanted the full time work and to sublease my place but I didn’t. I was also grateful that the way that it naturally evolved with the other caretakers who were with him long before I came on the scene wanted me to have the lion’s share of the hours.
The second live in caretaker is working out and at the time she took over, my cousin, the esthetician with a lovely salon in Berkeley, found me a part time job with one her clients who lives in Muir Beach. I drive out to their home in the early am and pick up their darling young daughters 4 and just turned 7, and take them to their private schools in SF. The parents are divorced and the mom lives just down the street from one of the private SF schools. They are all lovely, kind, spiritual parents and it’s a wonderful part time job. It pays very well and all my gas, tolls etc and pays me roundtrip back to my house time.
My other job came from a very good friend and part time personal assistant client I had who needed a front desk person at his amazing clinical research clinic. He’s a Doctor, a virologist, and founded it 23 years ago. He and his team have been saving lives for people with Hiv/Aids, Hep C and B, HPV. Along with front desk reception duties, I also make up medical test kits the nurses use and I’m getting to conduct my own study as I’m taking over for someone who left to pursue her holistic medicine degree.
I love love love the people who work there. The atmosphere is very relaxed, warm, and welcoming. We have two clinics on the same floor. We have three gay males nurses, a gay lab techie and two straight female nurses. I’m mentioning the gay /straight deal, because they can relate to the Hiv patients on a community level, plus they’re the super fun,interesting, well read, all of us are foodies, and have a counter culture vent. Everyone can wear flip flops and shorts if they want and do. I don’t and I get to have fun with my outfits.
I love helping our patients, all our services to them are free, in fact they get paid to take part in our studies. I’m going to send you all by email an article that came out just this month about a study we’re involved in that is looking at a complete CURE for Hiv.
Dr Jay actually got the idea to hire me, while he was with a group of his Questies as he calls us on a hiking trip in Yosemite under a full moon. I had already been invited in late July to join his annual retreat he offers his team. There are 10 of us it’s a small mom and pop…but with an international reputation, he has a clinic in Honduras too. I was invited from my PA role work with him, as he uses the retreat to invite others who have been a helpful part of his life that year. Anyway the retreat was in the Gold Country at a place called Rancho Cicada and it was three days of perfect hot swimming weather and amazing beautiful grounds with hammocks strung under shade trees and 3 fab meals aday. I could have invited a guest if I wanted and will next year.
I have full benefits, which is awesome, as I haven’t had health care for over 4 years now. It pays well and is my starting pay the man in charge of the books emphasized to me. He said he always tell Jay the front desk is the hardest job there.
When I consider that since July 23rd in 2010, my world turned upside down in many ways, and I sought to stay in the comfort of the present moment day by day trusting that whatever came down I would be able to know that I was where I needed to be even if it meant losing everything I knew and having to go to somewhere considered not a great move. I did have to declare bankruptcy at the end of last year. I have always been so responsible about money, I lived and worked outside the home my last year in high school. I’ve had the ups and way downs financially we all have. I had a very high credit rating and went through some shame and depression a few years ago when I realized using BankR was the only way out. Then I fully took the view that this didn’t define me one tiny bit, and that the timing with the rest of the country going through such upheaval was comforting to me. It was a very foolish choice to get involved, after my 10 years with the company I helped launch, to become involved in 07/08 with a network marketing business from home endeavor that put me in that spot, but of course it was all a part of my life script learning lesson eh?
Anyway all these things coming into place for me now has me feeling very grateful, and this December 12 will be the day, I find out how the July 23rd event is going to turn out and I think it will be OK. I clearly don’t go into any details about that, but I did get to talk with our beloved Jamie about it back then and it helped a great deal.
I do want to mention I’m really happy for my daughter who is now very very in love and that is a whole other story for later which does involve she and my granddaughter moving to the east coast next summer. On the day she learned the upsetting news from her mom and dad about our mutual july 23 event, her husband at the time also drove up from being away visiting his Dad, and told her he wanted out of the marriage. Her world turned upside down too, and today she is a whole new happier person with a great future ahead of her doing her prereq’s to go ahead and get her masters in nursing as the masters she got in the art of education in 2007, had her with three great jobs, but with the way of our economy and teachers being laid off there was no job for her when she returned to OR.
Love you all and think of each of you all the time xoxoxox,
Michele
You know what – I love every one!
W O W. Now that’s a message to us all. Big, big hugs to you, Michele, and a big smoochy Village kiss to you for tomorrow, your birthday, in case I don’t get to pop in to say hello. I’ll drink a glass of champagne in your honor tonight, how ’bout taht, er thta, er, that! POP! There goes the cork (sends it sailing through the tavern window out into the Village Square and hits Tex who is throwing popcorn to a… a… mouse?). Fresh sparkling apple juice for those who need to drive back home to their cottages.
Oh Michele, Sooo lovely, sooo good to hear from you. And *clinks wine glass with yours* Happy Birthday roses for you —}–@ , —}–@
Michele, here is your “B” Day forecast. I wish you the happiest of birthdays. Your post was heart felt and informative and I have wondered what you might be up too, and how you were doing. I am fond of saying “It Is What It Is” life here in the dream. I am very happy for you and yours, that this time in the dream is a good and peaceful time for you.
Be Birthday Hug!!!
God bless us every one
lawrence
The Year Ahead
Forecast for October 2011 to October 2012
If You Were Born Today, October 17:
You have strong opinions and possess much determination. Your insight into human nature makes up part of your appeal to others. Your tendency to bang your head against the wall and to become frustrated easily is something that you outgrow and/or temper over the years. Your strong ideals and emotions, if channelled constructively, can bring you much success in your chosen profession. Communication is important to you, although your own communication style is moody. You are highly intelligent and possess the ability to ‘hit the nail on the head”. Although you can be blunt at times, you generally come across well to others, simply because they can sense your good intentions. Famous people born today: Pope John Paul I, Evel Knievel, Arthur Miller, Eminem, Ziggy Marley, Rita Hayworth, Montgomery Clift, George Wendt, Margot Kidder.
Your Birthday Year Forecast:
A trine between the Sun and the Moon in your Solar Return chart this year is a fortunate aspect. It suggests that your domestic and career needs are not in competition with one another in the year ahead. Your inner needs tend to be mirrored by external events, and vice versa. This aspect is very powerful and rewarding. It suggests that you will be on top of your game this year, for the most part, and positive connections with others can be made fairly easily. A comfortable level of personal popularity helps to keep conflict to a minimum. With the ability to handle your emotions successfully, there is less stress on both your mind and body. Your self-confidence and positive attitude will reward you!
With Saturn transiting conjunct your Sun until August 2012, new responsibilities are likely to present themselves, or you are required to take your current responsibilities more seriously. Although Saturn’s influence is traditionally considered restrictive, it does not have to be a depressing influence by all means. Some people react in such a way, but others benefit greatly from the realism that now enters their lives. The kind of progress you make now may not seem significant for the time being, but you will look back on this period of your life as one in which you truly made REAL progress towards your goals. You may be recognized or rewarded in some way for the efforts you put forth. Because you project a more responsible and credible “you”, people in authority tend to be more inclined to appreciate you and recognize your work. Practical matters come into strong focus and demand attention. You are likely to cut out some of the frivolous things in your life this year.
You may be actively involved with teamwork and collaboration with others this year. Your passions are stirred, and you generally find it straightforward to form positive connections with others.
You may gain some perhaps profound new insights into your life this year. You can be especially persuasive and convincing in your communications, whether written or oral, and your perceptions are especially acute. You are inclined to do a lot of “digging”, researching, analyzing, investigating, and getting to the bottom of things. Increased psychological awareness of yourself and others can benefit you greatly, and employing strategy in your decision making is easier than usual this year. Relationships with younger people may be especially rewarding and meaningful. There may be a project, idea, or person that demands much of your attention or occupies much of your thoughts. It’s a strong year for any project or studies that require concentrated effort. You are especially resourceful this year.
This can be a “nose to the grindstone” year – you are likely to work hard and get yourself organized. You are certainly maturing in the period ahead, no matter your age, as you learn to accept your responsibilities and draw upon your own resources. It’s a strong period for analysis and research, as well as for focusing your attention on special projects.
2011 is a Number Four year for you. Ruled by Uranus. This is a year of work and development. It’s “nose to the grindstone” time. It’s a time to deal with practical matters, and it’s not a time to be lazy or especially gregarious. Sometimes, it can be a year that feels hard, monotonous and routine, and/or lonely. Advice – get yourself organized, work to build your resources, keep busy.
2012 will be a Number Five year for you. Ruled by Mercury. This is a year of exploration and freedom. It’s a time when exploration and reaching out to others brings opportunities. It’s a good time to advertise and sell. Surprises are in store, and the routine is broken. This is a year when exciting relationships can be formed, or, if you are already in a partnership, new life is breathed into the relationship. Advice – explore, look for adventure, keep your eyes open for opportunities, mingle.
Pretty Cool!
I have news! I’m delighted to announce to my Village family that as a result of your extra-loving support and kindness this past year, your mayor has successfully undertaken his first ever, ever presentation on A Course In Miracles, to a group of seven French people this evening. And a lovely evening it was. Pat said I was inspired, so that must mean it was pretty good. She doesn’t give compliments lightly! I think it went well. At least, I’m not fussed if it didn’t, but I think it did. There were even a couple of moments when people were having a real difficulty with some of the ideas that came up. I accidentally let slip that the mind isn’t in the body – something I wasn’t planning on talking about on a first get-together. Well, that did arouse some questions. And it all went beautifully. So all my thank to all of you who were present with me. Your patience and kindness are always a beacon and guide to me.
Zafu, your presence is always a real blessing here. Your words are a soothing poem that washes in from the blue shores of another, distant land. Thank you for taking the time in your day to give us your gifts.
(Blows birthday whistle and throws streamer as he makes his way over to the fireside, sticks up his feet and pours himself a strong coffee from the pot, and maybe adds a drop of that fine Irish whiskey and a heaping spoonful of thick cream).
Bernard, of course you were inspired. I had no doubt you’d do well since you were such a good leader during the skype sessions.
Happy B day to you Michelle (toasting with a cup of coffee and a wee bit of the whiskey)
Happy birthday to darling Michele
Our beautiful big-hearted belle
We wish you good health
Of course lots of wealth
And plenty of chockies as well
XOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOO
Hi Michele – that was a lovely birthday note you wrote us. And I trust you had a happy, peaceful day with light and smiling thoughts !! (:
ps. I read your note with great interest. So many of the details were so helpful, in some inarticulable way to my own mind. Your specifics of dates stood out (I tend to be like that too, remembering dates of events that happen,(good or bad), in our lives).
So, yes, with respect to the other detail you asked about.. I did make it to the Gary and Jennifer event. The closing 30 minutes. But it was a small group, and the door to the conference room was ajar. So I stood outside and listened in the pin-drop silence.
And from time-to-time I had to cross the field of vision of Gary and Jennifer sitting up in the front of the room (my Dad had drive me to the Unity Village, and he has no clue about this stuff, so he was browsing at the Unity Cafe elsewhere on the campus, and he’s not a cell-phone (or any phone) guy (: – so I wanted to keep in touch with him to see if he was not getting bored.
And sooooo (:… each time I crossed the door ajar, I would look in,and sometimes they saw me, and sometimes they didn’t. Hope I didn’t creep them out as a would-be stalker (:
It’s still before 9 pm in California, as I type this out. Hope you’ve had a lovely glass of wine (I seem to think that you like wine ?), and that as the evening/night comes to a close, you have sweet and pleasant dreams, as you head into another year of our adventure here on this planet !
love,
a
And you have been a wonderful most kind and loving mayor so of course I have no doubt about your ability to start a study group and let HS do the talking through you.
bernard, I am smiling with absolutely every cell. P L E A S E D about your inspiration, and the happiness you feel. (Leaning over for a good hug, takes Rufus on her lap and pours herself a cuppa Java with a spice of cognac. Just to celebrate, of course.)
Bernard bro –
I wanted to dedicate a full post to your recent event, and didn’t want to mix up messages for Michele on her birthday, and you on your event. (and I have a self-proclaimed limit on one post per day, so with all those different neuroses playing into each other (: — the ego is a complex thing… oh wait, I’m preaching to the choir (:, like I was saying… (: I apologize for the delay in celebrating your first ever French exposition on ACIM that you recently pulled off!
I wish I was retired. I would have flown over for the event. Even if I didn’t understand a single word of it (French being the only language that terrifies me.. yes, completely terrifies me – any other language I think I can pick up reasonably well (I speak several already, and my goal for my son is that he speak 10 (: – hah, did some say overbearing, overambitious first-time parent (:….
Congratulations on that wonderful evening. I hope you are still savoring some of the fine after-effects, the glow, and the happiness that comes from achieving something significant like this.
It’s close to midnight as I write in from Dallas. I must go now, but I wish you a very fine morning, dear friend, and if you’re like Annie, and come inhabit our pages in the dawn hours, then may you have a splendid day, and if you come late in the evening, like Katrina, then may you have a splendid night…
hugs,
a
Aw, shucks, you guys, Pam, Nina, ‘a’, Bev (shuffles feet, hides a big smile). Thanks a lot for your encouragement. In fact, this has been something that has been blocking me for months. I feel that this was a big step, as small as it was, just the necessary little thing to get something moving again. It feels like I’m going to get back into the swing again, so I hope to come up with some more fun for us all again, too. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you all.
Mr. A, I’m both a morning and evening visitor – whenever I can find the time! Though right now it’s exactly midnight, so I’m not sure if that’s considered a late or early visitor. And I have to get up and hang more dry-wall tomorrow morning! PS I think you’ll be a fabulous parent to your growing child, and why not 10 languages?? But one is a good start, too. The language of the heart, of course.
Many blessings, thanks again for sharing this path with me…
Dear Bernard …. I want to add my congratulations as well. You will be an excellent teacher not the least because of your knowledge and experience and wisdom but also and mostly because of your shining humility…
big loving hugs XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXXO
P.S. I forgot to mention your gentility and kindliness… all up – what a blessing you will be to your new students, as you have always been to us
Mr. Mayor – well said, sir. The language of the heart, the only that matters – I think my son is trying to teach me that each day, but I remain quite a resistant learner ! (:
Trust the dry-walling is going well today…. Cheers!
a* warning unsolicited parenting advice 🙂 I have found that what seems to work best in teaching is firm but gentle nudging not pushing.If met with firm resistance back off and wait to nudge again another day and when he is ready it will flow much more smoothly with less angst for both of you. But I bet you already knew that.(-: hmmmm….ya think that’s what J does with us???
I wish I could speak even just one other earthly language but alas it is not one of my talents. Have tried to learn German and Spanish all to no avail. The language of the heart though, I just might be starting to get the hang of.(-:
ahh the language of the heart !
I have no interest in learning another language but i am very interested in improving my speech. I have never much liked the way we Australians talk. It sounded even worse when i was among Americans. I loved learning Speech and phonetics at school but was unable to apply it because i knew i would be made fun of….
At different times in my life i have tried to pull it off, but have never had the confidence/courage to stick to it.
Well guess what, i find myself suddenly starting to do it without conscious effort .I think it’s been wanting to out for so long that it will not be denied any longer – and i love it – o`course it’s easy to do it with strangers. I wonder if i will continue when i am back with family and friends at Christmastime.
And o`course it doesnt matter a hoot – it’s just enjoyable to add that bit of music to my ears…..
This trip has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. One of its unsought-for benefits has been a marked new confidence in myself. I am not really interested in improving myself. I have been focused entirely on forgiving that i am here at all …………………..and yet lil winnie is growing in leaps and bounds…….
have caught up one week’s worth of posts !
I have loved reading all the bits and pieces so far – to know what the tribe is up to
I love you all so much xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo
and i love you, winniekins ! (:
and pam, yes ma’aam – you most certainly do speak the language of the heart so well ! love you too….
a
{{{tribe}}
love tribe
mmmmmmmmmm
a h h h h
n i n a
So great – we’re a TRIBE! The Village-Tribe, so cute. Thanks for that idea, Winnie. And thanks for all your other lovely thoughts. And the Thought that you are, and the Thought we all are, while I’m at it.
Okay, the next big step for us – tomorrow is our first market day. We’ve been preparing for ages, and wanted to get the stall looking just right. Most stalls look very average and cheap, but we’re selling some really nice scarves and silks, so we wanted our stall to look lovely (like us – hihi). We want people to feel good when they stop by our little movable boutique, so we have lots of wood everywhere, wood screen, two wood chairs, two wood library shelves for stacking scarves, a wood table, a wooden artist’s easel, a little wooden stool thingy… and a bamboo mat to go under it all – It looks like we’re moving house!! I’m sure people are going to think we’re nuts! Well, nice nuts. Wish us luck. I’ll write more tomorrow, if I have the energy. Off to bed at midnight, up at 6 am… Ah, Paulo’s busy life.