Fireside III
It is to the Village Square that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom. Then when their minds have been filled, they retire to the tavern on the western side of the square where they share in social discussion, learning of each other’s events and challenges, happinesses and sometimes sadnesses, too. With a mug or glass in hand, they collect in front of the great Fireplace that dominates the long wall. Benches and chairs are often filled on market day with those who have come from farther away, bringing news of events and views the local people delight in hearing.
If you are feeling disoriented by all the philosophical talk by the fountain in the Village Square, then come sit down on the bench here with us for a while just to soothe your mind and share a mug of tea or coffee. Let’s all make sure the conversation is quiet and simple, caring and thougtful, exactly the kind of talk you might have around a warm hearth, the only light filling the room coming from the fireplace.
This is the third installment in the Fireside discussion series. After we reach 900 comments, the page takes too long to load on your computer, and so we start another fresh page. To review previous discussions, we keep the old pages (Fireside I and Fireside II) which you can find under the ‘Village’ tab on the navigation bar at the top of screen under the image of the tree.
One can only be les miserable with that kind of mental fortitude Tex!
I shall try and do the same.
Happy Dreaming Everyone.
Tex, “I still wake up every day – convinced and thankful that I am dreaming. I have never doubted it for a minute and I have never looked back for a second glance.” You know Tex, I think that’s probably true of most of us. We come to the point in the dream that we don’t doubt that it is in fact that, a dream.
I think the way a lot of us came to the Course was a little out of the ordinary. It was almost like it was waiting for us.
I came to big blue through DU, and Gary Renard. I spent quality learning and sharing time, with Ossie and Lucia, Gene, and so many others on the DU boards.. I thought my spiritual quest was over, til I read the Urtext, and then, the more accepted and used 3rd edition. It was a birthday present, and a gift that keeps on giving. But, that’s where it starts to get interesting. What are you and I going to do with this information? If we have done the lessons, and read big blue. It is the experience of the dream, knowing it’s a dream, believing, and having faith in what is, is simply a beautiful thing! Sharing and living amongst the truth of each other is the way home. Judge not, least you be judged, is a gem, and a no brainier!
This is from 12 and 12a from the Urtex, I think it is the same with big blue Prayer is the medium of miracles. Prayer is the natural communication of the Created with the Creator. Through prayer, love is received, and through miracles love is expressed. Miracles are thought-creations. Thought can create lower-order or higher-order realities. This is the basic distinction between intellectualization and thinking. One creates the physical, and the other the spiritual, and we believe in what we create.
May our thoughts begin with the spiritual, and our emotions be born of Love.
lawrence
Oh, I found the videos! Very helpful reminders. This site is just full of wonderfulness, trying to read when I can. Thanks to the mayor all the villagers for their sharings!
Righto-
Which is not to say I don’t still miss you, Annie!
I think of you all the time, and love you very much!
And wish wonderful things for you.
For everyone.
You – you – you – and especially you!
Hi, everyone! Smee, back again. I so enjoy going back over your posts and every so often I find myself laughing out loud or even better, gasping a little at something really beautiful, and I’ve found a number of those moments. It’s still such a pleasure for me to see you all coming and using this place for the purpose given it, just to be a cosy, comfortable meeting place for us to get together and talk about our lives, our paths. Many, many blessings to all of you for continuing the journey together. I’m definitely still here, even when I don’t post as often as I did. I’m constantly thankful for the space you’re all giving me just to kick back and get nicely lost in the rest of my dream-life. This is an important time for me, I’m finding out. I’m going through a rebellious phase where I just don’t want to do what I feel inside is my next step – actually getting out there in public and teaching this silly, crazy philosophy! It’s amazing to see this inner battle going on: will I, won’t I, will I, won’t I? And in between I try to make a little progress and study this material, not for me now, but to put some classes together for beginners, and beginners who have never heard of anything ‘spiritual’ before. So going through a number of hoops (the inner kind) about all this. Hope to give you a positive report in the future about ‘my first classes’. We’ll see…
Anyway, just wanted to let you know I’m still here and following you all, delighting in the lovely friendships we’ve still been able to maintain over time. And if there’s any question about it, I’m certainly not entertaining any idea of the Village changing (except to get better, I hope).
All my love to everyone, blessings to you all,
Bernard
Lovely note, Bernard (:
So nice to read, I’m sure I’ll revisit to read again.
It also gave me potentially… the new name I’m going to use (:
Have been wanting to change my name for some time… hopefully third and final name at the Village (: — so the new name, I’m considering is…..
“Smee (:
ps. Nina – enjoyed the Benjamin Smythe videos. Very fun guy !
Glad to hear you’re having fun Jacalyn. Hey Bernard, one tiny favor please. #346 has been in moderation for sometime now. It has a link to a youtube that Cory wanted to share. Feel free to move it to a new spot if you want.
HUGS to all and speaking of hugs when is Lisi comming back from silent retreat, anyone know?
Bernard, about part of us rebelling to do what the next step seems to be…when my husband died, it opened up a connection to inner guidance: I wanted to give workshops in “Dreams and creativity” on the Folks University. I had never done anything like that, but inside everything was determined. I sat down and composed a wonderful structure for the 12 weeks, and it felt like i always had done this kind of stuff.
But the fear said NO of course. And when i did it anyway, and even though it was a big success, and even though people from that group wanted to study further with me after the workshop had ended, the fear was as paralyzing each time.
That meant that the fear just pointed to what was on the bottom of it all, and that I was determined to see that.
I still am, after 30 years.
Maybe just don’t let it hold you back, B. You are so meant to do this. AND it will bring up a lot of stuff, which is really helpful to look at. And I know you will look at it with Jesus – 🙂
hmmm. I am getting hunches to post a story here. It is about two whole pages long, and I am sweaty to take up all that space – but it is this thing about following the hunches when they feel right.It is the story of my experiences when I started to teach this life.
(sweating slightly) so – here comes:
Not two
When my husband died, I was thrown into an encounter with the darkness that I till now had managed to walk around. When the outer support was removed, I went into a state of utter chaos and terror. My husband and I had worked together in Arcadian Theater as a creative team: he as a playwright, stage designer and directing, me designing sets, costumes, props and puppets. But now! How would I support myself and my little daughter? I knew that theater without Kip was out of the question for me.
One day I knew absolutely without doubt that I would give a workshop in “Dreams and Creativity” at the Folks-university in the County. I wrote a plan and called the university and offered it to them. They accepted it immediately. Soon I sat in my first circle of dream-students, ice-cold from fear. But the fear was surrounded by great calm and a feeling of “rightness.” This work felt so very familiar – as if I always had been doing it.
When the course had ended, after 12 weeks, some of the students wanted to continue their psychological and creative exploration further and came for individual sessions. This was the start of my private practice in my own house, where I also started to give workshops.
Then the cold and the knocking started.
As soon as I started to prepare the room with candles, incense, flowers, paint and brushes, an ice-cold energy crawled into the room, and huge – and I mean huge – black hairy spiders came crawling out from nowhere. When the students had taken their seats in the circle, the noises and knockings and squeaks started. Spiders walked right into the center of our circle, and we all felt rather uneasy.
After group, the atmosphere was thick with “something.” I prayed and prayed, feeling uncomfortable, anxious and drained.
Then I became aware of “presences “ – and to my knowledge, I had not invited them. I noticed their energy-fields as ice-cold spots. They seemed to prefer certain places in the house – one of their favorite ones was under a little sofa-table under a window.
Our two cats were acutely aware of their presence. Now and then I sensed a cold wind whiffing by, and the two heads of the cats turned synchronically, following the path the “spirits” walked from the little table, through the living room and into the kitchen. Then the cats laid their heads on their paws and closed their eyes. It has passed.
After some months of exploration of these presences, I had grown pretty good in communicating with them. The new work with students – and my commitment to God to follow His plan for me – had opened me to fields of consciousness where these seemingly negative forces /thought forms existed. I intuitively saw that my husband’s death had ripped away a protective veil that made me extremely vulnerable – and my only way to survive these what seemed to be astral attacks was to learn the metaphysical laws that governed this plane or “reality.”
All the right books fell in my lap with recipes on how to help stuck spirits move on. I followed some of them, and also composed my own. I lighted a candle, consecrated the space, asked for help and blessing of the work. I told the spirits that they were stuck on a level where they would find no joy or happiness, and that their loved ones would love to help them go where they truly belonged. I pointed to the light I saw, and helped them notice it too – I clearly saw the light and the loving beings waiting for them,, radiating their love and safety.
When the spirits noticed the light-beings, really saw them and acknowledged them, a huge change in the atmosphere took place and the walls started talking. These sounds occurred exactly in the moment where the connections happened between the entities and the light-beings: it was like my house had held the tension of the captured ones, and now released them again. The atmosphere immediately cleared, and the cats showed me with their synchronal head-movements the paths which the spirit took going home, from this level and to the next: through the living room to the kitchen, and through the wall into the garden and the rhododendron-bush right outside it.
In the time to come, I noticed that my students brought their own psychic companions too – so I had to share my method with them. If I pretended I did not see these companions, the house turned ice-cold and “evil” and I got nightmares.
I prayed, meditated and explored various techniques to clear the atmosphere. The incense Frankincense (the one which was given to Jesus at his birth) has been for me the most effective when it comes to calming, purifying and protecting.
But mostly I felt just powerless. I was caught in a fear of being possessed, and was not aware at this time that I was just re-living the nightmare of the raped baby that I had been. This fear, and the belief that I am in great danger, belonging to the inner baby, frozen within the trauma, sucked more negative energy into itself. My life became more chaotic and overwhelming, and I was functioning as a vacuum-cleaner for my clients’ negative energy. This was a direct result of a deep-seated belief, “I am wrong, unworthy, guilty and need to be punished” – which I at that time had no idea was in operation.
For each day, I became weaker and more scared. Then I read some words from The Third Zen Patriarch Sengstan: “To come in direct contact with this reality, say only, when doubt arises: NOT TWO. In this “not two” nothing is separate, nothing excluded.”
It went through me like a lightening.
I started to say “not two” each time I sensed a fear of what seemed to be other than myself. “Not two” I said, and realized that “we” I n fact are one, and that there are in reality no outside or “other.” I experienced a peace beyond words each time I did not resist or see myself as separate from the “evil” outside of me, or seeming to come from my own depths of being.
But often I could not bring myself to this state of accept – the fear of being “swallowed” by “evil” and possessed by it was overwhelming.
So, a night in July…I had just woken from a nightmare where it seemed that demons were trying to capture my soul. I saw at the foot-end of the bed dark shapes. Their hateful radiation was threatening and crazy, far beyond any darkness I had experienced these last years since Kip’s death. I was convinced that my last hour had come. I prayed fervently, “save me, save me!”
A powerful wind starts to blow. I see the dark shapes coalesce; becoming darker and more visible; sense the compact energy field where all that is love is completely absent. They appear as sickening whirls of evil, domination, hatred and violence. The wind increases in power, the walls are creaking and groaning. Looking out of the window, the trees are being bent in impossible angles. My mind is terrified by what I see, and the menacing, threatening quality of it. I just know I am going to be devoured by this, whatever it is.
Far out from the edge of my mind, I hear:
“NOT TWO”
In this moment, from Grace, I surrender completely. This cannot be resisted, escaped, fled from or bargained against. Here is only one possibility:
LOVE
In the same moment the room is radiantly illuminated, my heart expanding, and in this exact moment the wind calms down – as if somebody simply turned it off.
I am lying totally still, taking in the vast silence and peace. All trace of “evil” has gone; the air is pure and radiant. Outside is calm and beauty.
Good Morning, Lawrence, I was wondering if I could trouble you for the Aug 29 horoscope? My lesson today says: This holy instant is salvation come. Welcome back, Bernard. I am so grateful for this forum you keep for us to nuzzle in for a few thoughts, both giving and receiving. Nobody knows better than me (and probably Jamie) how much work it is to keep up the the maintaining and moving and fixing and tweeking of these visually ‘easy’ pages.
Yay! First one to wish you a Happy Birthday Katrina. Hope it’s a blast.
happy birthday roses for you Katrina—}–@ ,—}–@
Katrina, here on the east coast it’s less than an hour before it is a new day. So I at least saw this before it was over. I am at your service, and it pleases me to do this. I hope your day was a beautiful day!
If Today is Your Birthday: August 29
——————————————————————————–
The Year Ahead
Forecast for August 2011 to August 2012
If You Were Born Today, August 29:
Famous people born today: Michael Jackson, Ingrid Bergman, Elliott Gould.
Your Birthday Year Forecast:
The New Moon in your Solar Return chart suggests that you will instinctively begin a new phase of your life this year. A decisively new direction has come about in your life. This can be an emotionally stimulating time in which you feel the urge to initiate and project, even if you are not quite clear about what you are projecting. Much of the energy in your life can have a magical quality to it as things are just automatically going in a certain direction. It is important to be intuitive at this time and allow the natural course to show you the way to the next step. Surprises (mostly very pleasant) pepper your year. New beginnings are in order, and you are bound to feel some level of excitement as the year unfolds.
Your attitude towards life has been slowly but surely changing and evolving recently and continues to do so this year. What used to satisfy you may not continue to do so, particularly if your goals have been superficial or a poor reflection of your inner desires. You are no longer willing to make compromises in the important areas of your life, particularly with regards to career and your life path. You are more determined this year, and it’s an excellent period in your life for getting rid of bad habits. This is a year in which to get your life back on track, as you have the willpower to do so. Others are bound to recognize your leadership skills and talents, or, at the very least, your potential. You want your life path and your objectives to reflect what you’re really about. You benefit from being more decisive than usual, and your ability to concentrate and focus helps you to achieve what you set out to do. A new project or goal begun this year has a strong chance of being successful and long-lasting.
Your social life is likely to transform and grow this year. You may be making new contacts, and your ability to sway or persuade others is enhanced.
This is a good year in which to advance projects revolving around communications – writing, speaking, selling, and so forth. Your reputation may be enhanced through word of mouth. Making new contacts through learning and mental pursuits figures strongly as well.
You are motivated by the desire to strike a balance in your relationships and in your personal environment. Smooth negotiations with others are sought. You are more diplomatic and gracious this year. Social affairs, pleasure, amusement, and romance are in strong focus this year.
You are likely to be dealing with periodic “roadblocks” to your plans, however, and these are signals from the cosmos that you need to slow down and review your goals before moving forward.
A freer attitude towards expressing your affection is likely to attract friendships or love opportunities into your life. This year, you’re bound to enjoy increased social opportunities as well as a boost in your personal popularity and magnetism. Others are looking on you favorably, particularly friends and lovers (or potential lovers).
The opportunity to grow through your love or social connections this year is especially strong. You are seeking intensity in love, and are especially aware of the importance of healthy relating and intimacy. You could renew and deepen love commitments or social connections. Strong and stimulating–even motivating–attractions to others are likely. Secret loves or attractions may develop and existing relationships tend to rise to a higher level of insight and understanding. Romantic relationships and attractions can have a fated quality to them this year. This could be a year in which you fall in love, and this could be with a person, an activity, or a cause! Meeting someone who transforms your life, and more specifically your values and attitude towards love, is possible. Strong existing relationships can grow and transform in rewarding ways, as you are more open than usual to intensity and passion.
Your life is filled with new energy this year, as if you are starting a brand new “chapter” in your life. Your social life intensifies and transforms , either through making new connections, or by an enhanced reputation and connections with people who better reflect your own values. You’ll find that doors open to you this year, and that new connections are made, through learning endeavors. Your more artistic, gracious, and diplomatic nature is spotlighted.
2011 is a Number Five year for you. Ruled by Mercury. This is a year of exploration and freedom. It’s a time when exploration and reaching out to others brings opportunities. It’s a good time to advertise and sell. Surprises are in store, and the routine is broken. This is a year when exciting relationships can be formed, or, if you are already in a partnership, new life is breathed into the relationship. Advice – explore, look for adventure, keep your eyes open for opportunities, mingle.
2012 will be a Number Six year for you. Ruled by Venus. This is a year of relative contentment. It is a time when love is the easiest to attract, and partnerships formed under this vibration have a better chance for longevity. You are able to attract others, and material things as well, this year. This is a good year for establishing harmony in the family and in the home. Advice – develop existing relationships, be positive and receptive because these kinds of energies help you to attract what you desire.
May all your good dreams come true
lawrence
Nina, I so appreciated reading 358. I’m glad you had “not two” then and now. Your experiences give me hope and confidence that we all can and do learn to choose again no matter what. I like knowing and reading more details about your experiences.
I started spending quiet time with Jesus again this weekend. I realize I have not been doing this for quiet some time and I have known that I was struggling for the past time with much less relief. Now I sense the struggle is part of understanding more just how uncomfortable my ego life really is. So, then I truly know what I am choosing against when I now turn back toward truth.
I opened ACIM big blue this weekend and I realize I have not been reading it lately. I have still been listening to Ken and Jamie, etc thank god. Anyway, I started by reading For They have Come in the text and then decided to read in the Workbook to join in the daily lessons around the time of year others are reading. I have done/read the lessons before but I realize now it has been quite awhile ago. So, ended up reading the Part II introduction on p. 398. This said “periods of wordless deep experience which should come afterwards.” So, I returned to the familiar after some strange adjustment feelings space of “wordless deep experience) and have returned each day. I do feel so much comfort now.
Glad I have friends here I can share these things with.
I sure enjoy reading all your posts and have been doing so all along. These past weeks I have felt a victum of not having any time for myself, blah, blah, blah. Always reading ponderings but not feeling I had time to write.
Happy Birthday dear Katrina. Love you! Glad to read your posts. Welcome back to your home after your travels and adventures.
Dear Bernard, thanks for checking in and for sure sending you love and blessings.
Hugs to all, Kendall
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It’s great to hear from Leni & Kendall. And even a coffee moment from Annie. I’m still having a delightful tour of Paris in my imaginarium. Lawrence, thank you so much for the horoscope gift. (I hope you are able to cut & paste those, otherwise an awful lot of typing!!) I may spend alot of time denying that the whole ego happening is even true, but I still breathe easier knowing that there’s some happy yang in store along with the perturbing yin.
Nina, thank you for the lovely card and your wonderful story. It brings to mind the song from the Darjeeling Limited – the Kinks’ Strangers — We are not two,we are one. We experience that daily here at the Village. But it’s alot harder in the cold of fear.
Hugs to all, katrina
Thanks right Annie…gratitude is a good place to linger. As I suddenly find myself able to choose comfort and the pain/fear seems to have fallen away, I am so aware of gratitude.
I realize that I have been forgiving during the times of apparent struggle. I even remember a few times when I just finally curled up and just knew that I was just very afraid of love and then was able to calm myself or fall asleep.
I have been going through the anger at Jesus and the course stuff…calling out it is just too hard, I can’t do it-you know the story…trying to figure out by myself and we know that doesn’t work. Luckily I knew that I might go through times like this.
I’m looking forward to learning my lessons today…Wow! Yes, Katrina we can breathe easier knowing that ther’s some happy yang in store.
Meant to write That’s right Annie in my first sentance. 🙂
Katrina, “Darjeeling limited “…- HILARIOUS AND WONDERFULLLLL and moving movie. Talk about control and oneness and absurdity. This is a script i REALLY enjoyed. If anyone wants to see it: please notice the wonderful painted indian trainwagon. Check out the details: all is handpainted.
natti natti all! big hugs
Nina
BOO!!!(scaring the last ghost)
lightening candles in the fireplace, new batch of croissants in the oven, hot chocolate and whipped cream…
kind of lonely here – or is it lovely…where are you?
I don’t scare easy, and I love Hot Chocolate and Whipped cream. Sharon made a spice cake with chocolate icing. Now, it might seem like over kill but if you take a small bite of the cake and have a good size sip of the hot chocolate making sure to get a little whipped cream, well the whole conglomeration will come together in such a way that for a moment you will have heaven right here on earth!
Now I know as a Course student that I shouldn’t be bring heavenly anything to the dream, but why do you think that chocolate is said to be so Sinful? I am going to take my chances. I see the cool looking redheaded stranger is back with a plate in His hand. There is no fooling that guy, this is the place to be! I am going to join Nina who is listening to the stranger and maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me, but she seems to be hovering a few inches above the floor. Hope to see you all soon, this is way cool!
lawrence
TELEGRAM from the OUTBACK
AM CAMPED BESIDE CREEK OVERHUNG BEAUTIFUL RED RIVER GUMS STOP
TRAVELLERS WELCOME STAY AS LONG AS THEY LIKE FOR FREE STOP
FREE HOT SHOWERS STOP
NO POWER NO COMPUTER NO LIGHTS NO PHONE NO ENTERTAINMENT ETCETERA STOP
NO DESIRE TO READ NOTES LISTEN KEN OR MUSIC STOP
FEEL LIKE AM FLOATING IN ANOTHER WORLD STOP
IMMERSED IN AN INLAND SEA OF SIMPLICITY STOP
LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH XOXOXOXOOXOXOX STOP
AMAZINGLY, CHEAP FRESH VEG AVAILABLE [!} SO COULD STAY FOREVER STOP
EMUS WANDER FREELY AND BIRDS ALWAYS SINGING STOP
HAVE DEVELOPED SIMPLE YET POWERFUL PRACTICE IN THIS APPARENT STATE OF TIMELESSNESS OF FOCUSSING ON IDEA -> WINNIE IS NOT PART OF ME – < STOP
HAVE WASHED SOCKS STOP
BUT I RECKON I COULDA GOT ANOTHER COUPLA MONTHS OUT OF 'EM STOP
Winnie,Laughing so hard I almost choked on Nina’s hot chocolate.
So many of my favorite things!!
Spice cake with chocolate frosting,
Emu’s wander freely,
Hot chocolate with whipped cream,
And I’ve seen Darjeeling Limited so many times (never enough, though) that I can just sit under the red river gums bending to touch my eyelids, and remember so many lines that I laugh my *$$ off. (Best movie ever).
(Nina, Lawrence, Winnie, Pam, Katrina} (:
Hello, gentle family! Back late yesterday from work away, now off again this Saturday morning on the road again … ah, life in the dream-lane. Love these posts of yours. I think I’m busy fabricating another dream-identity, hence the need to step back from ‘Mayor’ for a bit. I love that role, let there be no mistake, but I know I’ve been avoiding taking on another and it’s taking all my attention, and courage, to slip into that new skin. So many illusions to deal with! Thinking of all of you, your Mayor-in-transformation, B.
Winnie – that telegraph from the Back of Beyond –
Priceless – don’t stop!
I love the way you described the floating sense of timelessness!
That’s how it’s been for me since I landed on my head
and woke up somewhere else!
Ghosts – rattling chains? What holds up the chains?
Hostage to the ego, perhaps?
gotta love winnie … we all needed that … what an amazing wild wisdom gifted inspiration … thank you winnie … you have no idea … what would I do without you?? … so happy
thaaaaank you!!!
all the sharings are so much appreciated … love each one and their own flavor and way and spice and am so grateful that words and ideas and fun and insights and dreams and wonderings and ponderings and observations all show up here
things are going along fabulously here in hawaii
mother continues to do well … since I came over here on a one way ticket (who knew it was that simple??? just go where you want to go on a one way ticket and you never have to go back??!!) and I love it here and she’s reliant upon my help and I’m reliant upon her staying in the game it’s a perfect symbiotic relationship … not co-dependent in a bad way, but in a healthy happy what blesses one blesses all way
it’s so beautiful
am walking in my swimsuit now so that I get really wet with the waves when I walk and I leave no footprints on the sand because each wave washes them away
every day I walk and swim and float upon the water like magic ease
this has been the most incredible transformational adventure … had no idea when I came over here that it would or could be my new home, new chapter in life
such freedom … first time I’ve ever felt this natural and happy and free
and I still don’t have any of my stuff or want any of my stuff from home … I left it all and can’t think of one single thing that I want to have over here
so pure and simple and peaceful and beautiful
also, my email got hijacked again, so I’ve now changed my password again and am doing extra careful sign on and security measures so that please please won’t happen again … however, it still was a blessing once again because all kinds of people reappeared out of the woodwork and far away lands and wrote back to me and wonderful updates and friendly conversations with happy love and support all reconnected … so am thankful .. even though yes, the spam and email thing was not good … so hopefully that’s all taken care of and won’t happen again
mom’s up … needs me … gotta go
Happy fabricating Bernard. Ouuu Zafu feel as though I’m floating in the water with you.
Big hugs back at cha a* and for everyone else also.
Got an e-mail from Lisi in reply to mine and she said she will be back to the village soon. Yea!
Thanks, {Pam} ! (:]
This Mayor-identity-transformation “thing” seems to be working well, dear {Bernard}. Thanks for writing in (: — very nice to read, even on the second re-read (:
Gotta get to bed now.
G’night, dream team (:
a
About enchanted gardens…nice synchroniscity today: after meeting the two artists today who created the secret(and enchanted) garden, I saw a movie I had taped some days ago on video: “Grace does not live here anymore” with John Cusack and two wonderful children visiting “The enchanted garden” in Florida.
loving the process
Nina
natti family
I love you so much
Oh lovely to be joined. Thanks Nina, Leni, everyone. I like what a wrote above…dream team! See you all in the right mind…
hello my friends —
like Texanne says, nice to be included in this group. thanks, Leni for your sweet thought, and Zafu, you’re spot on when you interpreted my quick check-ins just to say Hi.
It’s been a hell of a 30+ days since this section of the workbook started on Lesson 221. All the (fake) comfort and denial that existed in my mind have been blown away. Well, most likely it’s not “all”, but certainly one layer more of it.
Every day, I get to see more and more, in action and in thought, how attached I am to my body, my projections of guilt on all those around me, and on the rare occasions when i can remember that it’s not those around that are the source of this constant struggle and pain, it switches to the current ‘life’ situation i’m living these days that’s responsible for my near-constant angst, fear, irritation and anger. None of this of course is true.
Some day I will realize, fully, that there’s no difference between blaming other people and blaming situations for my problems. All levels of the illusion are equally illusory. And blaming a person is no different than blaming a situation. For today, a little more insight into this thought, just a little more clarity, works just as well.
This current 10-day span is preceded by the longer section “What is Sin”, which I am to read every day, but four days into it, I can barely remember to read it every other day. And one of the lines in that “Sin” section which comes to mind often is “To sense is not to know”. (What would the sinless behold ? The truth is filled with nothing but knowledge, and can be filled with nothing else)
This morning at breakfast, I felt if I could just understand, truly understand, see and experience that line, I would have come a long way on this path. “The body is the instrument that the mind made to deceive itself” – another line that stands out, and even as I try to ‘think/feel’ through the implications of that thought, I can sense the resistance in my mind. My mind is foggier than before, and I have no idea of what the next set of sentences are going to be…
It’s Sunday morning here in this town, and we have to check out of yet another hotel on our trip northwards. Travelling is fun most days, but this trip that has lasted 32 days since we left our main home base on Aug 10th seems to be going on and on, and my appetite for enjoyment of it is reduced today. It will be mid-October before we’re back in Asia, as we wend our way westwards.
Time to shower, bathe the baby with the wife, and check-out on to the next leg of our travels…
Au revoir, my friends..
a
Dear a,even when you are feeling dislodged on many levels, I feel happy and at home reading your musings. I would love if you had a moment of time to share this journey your family is one, what the purpose is, and how L and Sh are doing. I am grateful for the web and for PCs and for the opportunity to connect in spirit wherever we believe ourselves to be.
My heart goes with you
love
Nina
Dear a, each day has an ego plan that ‘pays off’ erratically because that’s the best my ego really can do. Wow, can I ever worship my IQ and planning power, even though it consistently teases with some good, and invariably smashes me into the rocks.
I love the spot of love you mention in the midst of the mundane — “bathe the baby with the wife”. What if that was the only real moment in the whole day, and the rest was sleep walking — the zombie time.
I know it has been quite quiet on the streets and in the fields of the Village for the past month or so. Hardly a breeze stirs the cornfield, now ripe with golden ears bursting from silvery cocoons. Only the tiny green frogs floating on the enormous lotus pads hopping into the pond disturb the waters at all, sending gentle circles outward in all directions – not a villager has been seen skipping stones of late. However the oven is still hot, the coffee machine, still on and shiny in all its brilliant chrome Italian parts, hisses an occasional spurt, inviting any passer-by to stop in and send through a shot of dark espresso into one of those tiny zen-like earthen cups kept on the shelf. The frothed milk in its stainless steel jug, the cinnamon and chocolate powder, all lie waiting in the odd chance someone will need a good cappuccino before the day is out. Books and magazines lie strewn on the low table in front of the fire which still glows and sputters, a nice bed of coals under a pile of oak logs with a branch of juniper that adds a real spiciness to the air. A tall grandfather cloak on the western wall reminds us all with its slow toc-toc-toc that time is not of the essence… only the quiet passage of eternity humming in the background reminds us at all that Love waits only on our welcome.
Thinking of you all still very much, despite a lot of quietness on my part. A time of real change for me. Thank you all again for your understanding and on-going presence here.
I see that someone has replaced the flowers on the bench – I love those dahlias, thank you. And now that the breeze has just changed direction, I’m sure I can smell, what is that… hints of orange and rum maybe… some kind of delicious spice cake I think – one of my favorites. Yes, the oven is on, so someone must be baking again. Well, looks like maybe I’m not alone. And that lilting noise coming through the window, is that someone whistling down the road? Okay, maybe I better get the pitcher of pomegranate juice out of the fridge and set up with some glasses here. Now, what nibblies can I put out with the juice…?
It has finally cooled down here in Nebraska so I have been spending a lot of time outside before it gets cold. It takes me a long time to get projects done and I’m all tuckered out when the day is done but I check in several times a day. I listen to Ken CDs alot and think of all of you often.
Glad to here about your travels a* as well as Winnie’s. The walks on the beach with Zafu and Nina’s dreams and insights. The weekly updates from Bernard and everyone else.
Yum spice cake. Oh can’t decide a cappy or juice hmmm…. I’ll pop some chocolate chip cookies in to bake while the ovens still warm.
I’m out and about, however i am spending a lot of time with this invention, its called Richard, my job is to assist its path through life, make sure he makes the right decisions or at least learns to. So far i have managed to get him to stand up, sit down, lie down and put down the toilet seat. Oh no there he goes again he’s getting up, wants some porridge,
” Watch out for that banana skin….ouch…. now wheres that operators manual, he keeps trying to hide it, got to be around here some where, big book, a blue one, no stop don’t put it down the loo, cost £40+ p&p ” (damn rip off if you ask me, Wapnick gets all the money you know, he’s a millionaire)….”
Each of us in our own way leaves our own unspecial special mark here, a golden trail leading us all Home. Pam, glad to see you’re getting to spend some time outside before the big winter chill. Can’t remember if you heat with wood. We’re going to have to start thinking about bringing some in for this winter.
Richard’s invention sounds wild! Where can I pick up one of those? Oh, you mean, I already have? Right now I’m teaching it to type on this computery thing – if only I could get it to say senseful things. Then I’d have won! Wha… that’s not the goal, to get this invention to function properly so it can win? Richard, you’re so right, I can’t get this invention to have fewer needs – it wanted porridge last night at 11 pm, then a cup of tea, then it actually needed ‘off’ time it calls ‘sleep’. It woke up this morning on position ‘on’, thinking it was ‘something’. But I can’t figure out why that ‘something’ seems to have its circuits filled with a background static noise of ‘condemnation’ – has your blue book explained that to you? Please update urgently.
Zafu’s poems are such a blessing, and Winnie’s updates help me leave my dream in the funnest way and enter hers which sure sounds like it’s going in the right direction – right back Home. Then of course ‘a’ strolls through often and leaves a beautiful imprint in the wet sand at the water’s edge, the soft edges of his thoughts seem to meld so naturally with mine. I seem to always agree with everything he says and feels – is that what perfect non-opposition is? And I love to see comments by everyone else as usual, great contributions from Nina who is so steadfast and wise, then Katrina, Kendall, Tex, Lawrence, Michele, Bev, Leni, and I’d never forget Annie…
hello One-
this invention called Nina took magic pills this night and slept and had really useful dreams to relate to in a friendly way. Then she logged on to Authonomy, the place where she has a book uploaded for others to read and comment on. She recently commented on a book herself, and received such an avalanche of cuss and attack, it boggled the mind – but astonishingly fast she found she could smile at it, and forgive that hateful part who saw itself as attacked and unjustly attacked at that.
Isn’t that wonderful that we actually can use attack on us i n a helpful way.
Here is something I juts found in my notebook – answer from Ken to q 658:
A: If you try to “see it differently” when you are in a rage, you are fighting against yourself, and that is never helpful. It is far more helpful to just watch yourself being angry or not being able to let go of your negative feelings, and then not judge yourself. It is part of the healing process to become aware of the part of you that does not want to see it differently. One way of defining right- mindedness is: looking at wrong-mindedness without judgment. That in fact is the first stage of learning to “see it differently,” which many students tend to skip because they think that hatred is sinful and they therefore want to get rid of it right away. Looking at the hatred without judgment, and then realizing that you cannot hate and be at peace at the same time is what will eventually spark the shift. So when you ask for help to see the situation differently, all of that comes into play. Patience and gentleness with yourself is extremely important. Specialness has deep roots, and it takes a while to work through all the layers to the love underneath.
Special love (the pedestal) is deceptive, we are taught in A Course in Miracles, because it always conceals hatred. That is why it is harder to work with than the more up-front, blatant special hate relationship. If you had your sister on a pedestal, you must have been feeling separate from her the whole time; and, given the ego dynamics involved in comparisons, you must also have been secretly accusing her of having stolen her saintliness from you! These are not conscious dynamics, but they help explain the worsening of your negative feelings, because the hatred that was hidden inside the pedestal of special love has been exposed now that the pedestal has been shattered. “In looking at the special relationship, it is necessary at first to realize that it involves a great amount of pain. Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack all enter into it, broken into by periods in which they seem to be gone” (T.16.V.1:1,2).
It is not unusual at all for things to get worse before they get better when specialness is involved, as special love is a defense, and a defense is needed only if there is fear — intense fear! So when the defense of special love is threatened, you would have to feel tremendously threatened because a crucial layer of self-protection has been weakened, if not destroyed. Until you realize that you do not need a defense at all, you will react to the threat, which results in increased agitation — the attack-defense-attack cycle. Perhaps, too, realizing that the saintliness of your sister is not the truth about her (in your mind) is reminding you of the same thing about yourself. This would intensify your anger toward her. The first half of “The Two Pictures” section in the text (T.17.IV) describes the purpose of special relationships in relation to our determination to keep ourselves separate from God; it is particularly clear about our need for special relationships as a means of self-preservation.
Morning (:
I’m here each day, sometimes twice a day.
I so wish to read about what’s going on in all your lives but when it comes to writing down anything myself-I got nothing. It’s a curious thing because this trip abroad really got me out of my daily routine and helped me see thing with a fresh set of eyes. Or at least it made me very aware of how I see things and what captures my attention and why. I’ve been processing things by working my way thru all the pictures I have taken.
It feels like I’m in an empty room sitting on the floor with pictures strewn all about me. At first it was fun and exciting to be able to share this once in a life time adventure. I took so many pictures however that its now starting to feel more like a chore. I can usually throw an album together of all the highlights with my handy dandy Mac but I haven’t even begun that process. And I can sense that the more time that goes by chances are it won’t happened.
So I hit somekind of wall/resistance and all I know for sure is that I needn’t seek your forgiveness for not making daily posting but that doesn’t mean I’m guilt free, which then gets me angry! I’ve asked Spirit point blank what is going on? And I get nothing…just a deafening silence. Not that I expect a voice cuz that has never happened and I’d probably shit my pants if it did…but I must secretly want to be scared straight. And yet I haven’t been picking up the Blue Book which can only mean I’m scared silly! As the saying goes, It’s all good, I must be close to something and when I accept its nothing I’ll be back to my chatty self or maybe not? Who know where this is all leading?
In the meantime the Village is serving it’s Holy Purpose.
Forever Grateful,
Annie
Wow Nina thanks for #388 Q&A with Ken – it wasn’t there when I started my post which goes to show you how long it takes me to post.
Y’all, I have just seen “Build it and he will come” for the 2. time. I was “WOW most of the time: intensely present. I saw it all through Course-perception. Parallel existences and -spaces, forgiveness heals all. He built it, his father did come – and the end-photos are awesome in their beauty.
Recommend it
Nina
Dear Nina and Katrina –
Thanks for your kind (and encouraging) messages ! Made a difference to my day, lightened my spirits some ! (Nina, will write you an email on our travels – prefer not to write about that on this (semi)-public forum. My paranoia runs deep ! (: …
(Bernard, my brother, I love that image of the wet imprints on the wet sand at the waters edge… thank you for that refreshing visual)
I remember reading about Jamie, when he used to write about being sick to the stomach sometimes with the intensity of the emotions that came up for him during Ken’s classes, and that he had to walk out of the Temecula hall to deal with the feelings. I remember wondering if such strong emotions could arise from the simple truths in the Blue Book.
And although these last 30+ days that I referred to above have not brought me to my knees yet with nausea, I now can see how it’s possible to experience that level of fear and negative emotion within myself, and all for no apparent reason at all.
It’s weird, to experience, because even as the emotions swirl about, another “part” of my mind “speaks” and “sees” that whatever I’m experiencing has no basis in fact, with any of the things happening currently in my life, on that given day, that given moment.
And I’m reminded yet again, that those dark days when all hell seems to break loose within, that I “judge” to be my worst days, may in fact turn out to be my best days on my path forward to Truth. And those days that I feel just fine, and my ego is intact and non-threatened are in days when the Truth is even further away from me.
As the Course says “you judge your moments of triumph to be moments of failure, and vice versa” (or some such phrase in essence) – so twisted is my frame of reference in this upside-down world, that moving forward seems to be moving back.
And of course, in the end, there is no forward, no back, just the sweet embrace of Timelessness.
“The Truth is full of knowing and nothing else”. Sweeter words I never heard, this morning of Sept 13th, 2011….bringing with it a smile, and the promise of tears of release just beneath the threshold of my eyes.
I will see you later, my friends.
Love is.
My internet at home is wack again – and so I am at the library in nearest town.
I just had a guy attack me with such venom on Authonomy – and I also sense such a beauty in him – and I was able to see it as a cry for love. I also find out that i somehow am addicted to these kind of ocurences: they “belong” to “me”…that is rather sickening.
What is fun is that I decided to write him an answer which was just clear and to the point – no emotions involved. He answered, but I am not able to open his answer 🙂 he also commented on my book, but I am not able to see it there…maybe a sign that I have allowed myself to drop this game?
dearest a – I read this:
And I’m reminded yet again, that those dark days when all hell seems to break loose within, that I “judge” to be my worst days, may in fact turn out to be my best days on my path forward to Truth. And those days that I feel just fine, and my ego is intact and non-threatened are in days when the Truth is even further away from me.
As the Course says “you judge your moments of triumph to be moments of failure, and vice versa” (or some such phrase in essence) – so twisted is my frame of reference in this upside-down world, that moving forward seems to be moving back.
What a relief to me.
And a – there is really nothing to fear: the fear you are fearing has already happened. You may sense it as an energy, and look at it with J – but it has already happened. Each time you avoid it, you tell yourself it is real.
Maybe it isn’t
love always
Nina
Internet is OK again – and I feel such a tremendous release. I have got the first comment on my uploaded book at “Authonomy” from someone who is not a Course-student – and still can find value in it. I want to share it, and share my joy here _ some severe doubts in me have been shoo’ed away! oh that ego voice, and my belief in it. So wonderful when I stop believing in it.
I have read, so far, chapters one to four of this enlightening book.
I intend to read further and will place a comment upon each section I read.
Chapters one to four.
From the very first page, I had a feeling of being drawn into this mysterious environment. A world of which I know very little of. But as I continued to read, I found little insights into my own life. I began to recognize truth. The making of my own family tree, which I instantly created in my mind when informed of the process by the author, became a truthful awareness.
This book is not an easy read, I have re-read some paragraphs over and over. This is not a bad thing, as each
reading enforced my understanding of the subject.
I would suggest to others, who do not instantly grasp the meanings behind these words, to not give up. Instead, re-read until you at least attach some meaning for yourself. It is well worth the effort.
I find, I am already realizing, that this mysterious world is beginning to become more real with each passing chapter.
I look forward to my next reading session. —-
What a feeling Nina to know that your efforts and insights have made anothers journey a little easier! It is good to get that kind of feedback. And as they say for every such comment there are many more who don’t take the time to write and speak up so I am sure you have helped many already.
Bravo my Sister (:
YEAAAA! Nina, I went and looked at all the comments. I am planning on checking in to read the chapter by chapter comments.
Nina, I hope to get to reading your book!! Soon, I hope!!
I’ve been LMAO listening to Benjamin Smythe. Loved his ‘ban children’ logic — bad for us enlightened ones — people will stop listening to ‘us’ if they realize what kids have. Send them to schools, that’ll fix ’em.
Let’s remake the world with words.
Not frivolously, nor
To hide from what we fear,
But with a purpose.
Let’s,
As Wordsworth said, remove
“The dust of custom” so things
Shine again, each object arrayed
In its robe of original light.
And then we’ll see the world
As if for the first time.
As once we gazed at the beloved
Who was gazing at us.
~ Gregory Orr ~
(Concerning The Book That Is the Body Of The Beloved)
Had a chance to check out Benjamin Smythe’s site, he sure is on target with todays lesson;
“My holy vision sees all things as pure”.
Thanks katrina for the laugh connection (:
Annie –
I went to his site (had seen a couple of the links that Nina had put up sometime back when I was in Hong Kong – I liked/like this guy !)
But question for you – is there a video regarding today’s Holy Vision lesson ? Couldn’t find it. I just see general videos ?
(am finally in roughly the same timezone as you… just 4 hours away in time-zone distance (: — Brazil is lovely every year I visit. I should just retire here now ! (: