Village Square II
In our AcimVillage, we have the plane tree that stands in the central village square. Its enormous branches spread out to cover an area wide enough to provide shade on a warm day for many a traveller or tradesman. Water bubbles and trickles from a stone fountain on the eastern side. It is under the plane tree and by the fountain that wandering sages have traditionally lead conversation with the local people, before setting off again on their way; it is here that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom.
Rules to ponder…
Study of A Course In Miracles benefits greatly from sharing our experiences in its practice. Here you can talk about what works, or doesn’t, for you, taking obvious care not to be ‘preachy’, please. We all learn best when someone talks from their own experience, rather than tries to tell us what we should be doing differently. Let’s take the position that none of us are teachers, we are all at the same point returning on the path Homeward. All of us will still be making mistakes for a while yet, so let’s be particularly humble and caring in how we deal with each other. Please keep in mind that this is a site dedicated to the approach Kenneth Wapnick takes to teaching ACIM. I shall certainly do my best to bring everyone back to the core principles as taught by him.
I would also like to point out that AcimVillage is the place to come to explore our judgments, but not to express them as judgments. If you feel you need to gripe, criticize and vent, even subtly, then contact me privately (at bernard@pauloandthemagician.com) where I will receive you with kindness and understanding. Please do not do so in the forums where I will inevitably moderate out this kind of post. Remember, you will feel better only when you are able to move past the investment in your judgments, not simply by unloading them for everyone to see. This means taking responsibility for your perceptions and acknowledging that ultimately no one has prevented you from feeling completely peaceful and safe, despite what might appear to be the unfortunate conditions of your life at this time. (I know, this is hard. Contact me if you’re struggling.)
So, two basic rules here. One, we avoid mention of other approaches to the study of ACIM (non-Wapnickian) as well as to other philosophies we might be studying. This is purely to achieve a stable, comfortable learning forum where we are all aiming at the same goal, using the same symbols and language to get there. This is not to cast any judgment on any other approaches or philosophies. ACIM is a sufficiently difficult path to undertake without bringing more confusion into our study than our minds already contain! If you have benefited from other paths and would like to share your thoughts, by all means do so. Just please do this in the privacy of your personal emails. It’s also my personal opinion (take it or leave it) that at some point a student of ACIM is much better off sticking with one set of symbols and one teacher, and working with these thoroughly, instead of getting too dispersed. Rule two, we try not to play ‘teacher’ with each other here, reminding ourselves to be humble and always equal with our brother.
Enjoy the discussion!
New Horizons
As of September, 2010, I’m proposing a direction for our study of the Course, which is to work together through Ken’s workshop The Meaning of Judgment. We’ll be using his transcript notes for this taken from the Foundation’s website (see link in the tool bar at the top of the page). Below you’ll find the notes for the section we’re currently working on. For previous sections, click on the ‘ACIM’ tab on the navigation bar, and then hover your mouse over the ‘Meaning of Judgment’ tab to choose the relevant section. I chose this particular workshop because it gets immediately into the real heart and practice of the Course while taking us through its basic principles at the same time. So, for those interested in finding out where the ‘rubber hits the road’, even though it might get a little confronting at times, then join us on this little adventure Homewards!
The Meaning of Judgment
Excerpts from the Workshop held at the
Academy & Retreat Center of the Foundation for A Course in Miracles
PART III
“THE FORGIVING DREAM” (T-29.IX), cont.
(3:1) All figures in the dream are idols, made to save you from the dream.
1. Everything we perceive and believe is outside us is part of the dream. These are the idols, and their purpose is to make the outside dream real to protect us from the dream within our minds, which we do not want to look at. Course students compromise this over and over again by trying in whatever way they can to make some aspect of the external dream reality. That is why many students place such great emphasis on seeing Jesus or the Holy Spirit as doing things for them in the world. That is a subtle way of making Them part of the illusion, whereas in the Course Jesus asks us to take the illusion to the truth, not to bring the truth to the illusion. We have a strong investment in making the outside dream real, because if it is real outside, we do not have to look at the dream within our minds. What better way to make it seem real than to have God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit operate in it?
2. That is why it is a mistake to confuse A Course in Miracles with New Age thought systems. The Course in no way compromises the truth that the entire physical universe is an illusion. But we want to make the figures in the dream reality, including the Holy Spirit and Jesus so we are protected from the underlying dream inside our minds.
(3:2) Yet they [all of these idols] are part of what they have been made to save you from.
3. These idols were made to save us from the idol we made within our own minds (the ego thought system) that says, “I have stolen from God and I now exist. I have what I have stolen. I no longer have to give it back, and I exist on my own. And now God exists outside me.” The ego begins with that initial thought of judgment, which is the beginning of the dream. It then becomes a full-blown dream within our minds that we are different from God, that we have stolen from God and sinned against Him. And our guilt over this now tells us God will punish us. This is the terrifying dream within our own minds. It is so terrifying that we do not look at it, but project it so that it now seems to be outside us. And anything that roots us further in the dream outside will nicely serve the ego’s purpose, even if it goes under the name of God, which is what religions have done for centuries. It is extremely tempting for people to do the same thing with A Course in Miracles — to bring part of the truth into the illusion, making the illusion real. If you do that, you will never get out of the dream, because you will not know it is only a dream.
(3:3) Thus does an idol keep the dream alive and terrible, for who could wish for one unless he were in terror and despair?
4. The “you” Jesus is referring to in these passages is the mind, the part of the mind that chooses — what I refer to as the decision maker. It is the part of our minds that has first identified with the ego thought system. It is a thought system of terror and despair that tells us we need to protect ourselves from the terror and despair by denying it, which means we would never look at it again. And then we project it and see it outside ourselves. That is why we need a world of specific people and specific objects. We project all of these thoughts of sin, guilt, and judgment so they are no longer seen within, but outside. As long as we believe in the reality of the idol, we will never know that the idol really rests within our own minds.
(3:4) And this the idol [anything in the world outside of us] represents, and so its worship is the worship of despair and terror, and the dream from which they come.
5. This is true for the idols of specialness we think are wonderful and make us happy as well as the idols of specialness we hate. Earlier in the text, in “The Obstacles To Peace” (T-19.IV), Jesus speaks about this in another form: “While you believe that it [the body] can give you pleasure, you will also believe that it can bring you pain” (T-19.IV-A.17:11). Pleasure and pain are opposite sides of the same illusion. Both of them make the body real because both say there is something outside us that can make us either happy or unhappy and bring us pain. The truth is that the only thing that can bring us happiness is choosing the Love of the Holy Spirit. The only thing that can bring us pain is choosing the ego. That is all. There is nothing else.
6. The lines here represent the same idea. That is why we become so invested in the world. It is easy to fall into this trap, even as a student of a course that teaches that there is no world, for we still believe that external behaviors somehow mean something. They mean nothing in and of themselves. Their meaning lies only in what meaning we give them. What is important is never anything external — not what bodies do or do not do — but our internal decision to choose either the ego and separation, or Jesus and joining. Once we focus our attention outside and believe what we do is important, helpful, healing, or loving, we are getting caught in specialness, worshipping the idol of specialness. We will think that we are serving a function of healing or love, but it really is an idol of despair and terror.
7. In worshipping the idols of specialness outside, we are worshipping not only terror, despair, and guilt, but the whole dream, of which terror, despair, and guilt are only components. We are worshipping the dream that we have what we have stolen from God and will never give it back, for now we exist as individuals on our own. We love terror, despair, and guilt, or we would not feel them all the time. We love them because they make real the thought of separation — the thought of the original judgment against God — which makes real our separate existence from God. That is why we have such a tremendous investment in our self-importance, in being a unique individual — it establishes that the dream is real. The state of terror or despair in our minds says the dream is real; the guilt and the sin are both real.
(3:5) Judgment is an injustice to God’s Son, and it is justice that who judges him will not escape the penalty he laid upon himself within the dream he made.
8. It is important to realize that the entire thought system of the ego is real within itself. It is not reality, but within the dream itself it is all very real. When we sleep at night and dream, we will experience the dream as very real. This entire world is a dream. As Jesus explains elsewhere (e.g., T-18.II.7-14), there is no difference between what we call our sleeping dreams and what he refers to as our waking dreams, such as we are experiencing right now. They are all the same — just different expressions of the thoughts within our minds. Within the ego dream, the fear of punishment is very real. Within that dream, our fear of experiencing harm — physical or emotional — is very real. We are not asked, as students of A Course in Miracles, to deny what our experiences are. We are asked, however, not to make these experiences reality. There is a crucial difference between those two approaches.
9. In other words, we all experience fear, and we believe our fear is due to something external to us that can impinge upon us. The ego interprets this as the wrath of God visited upon us — that is our experience. We may not consciously experience it as God’s wrath, but we certainly do experience fear as caused by something external to us. Remember, our own bodies are just as external to our minds as everyone else’s body is. But that does not make it reality. That is where the Christian Churches were mistaken; they took their experience of fear and wrote a theology about it. They said this is the reality of God: God sees our sin as real and has a plan to help us atone for it, basically a plan of murder. The plan then becomes one of suffering and sacrifice. If we believe we are sacrificing so God won’t be angry at us, then we will feel good about sacrificing. But that does not make it reality. Our experience is that the sun rises and sets but that does not make it reality. In reality, it is the earth rotating on its own axis that makes it appear as if the sun moves around the earth. And in fact, it is the earth that moves around the sun. Similarly, people may experience the Holy Spirit or Jesus doing things for them in the world, but that does not mean that they really are. Don’t confuse your experience with reality. The ego always interprets our experiences in order to construct a theology that serves its purposes, which of course is why we have the experience in the first place. Within our dream, whenever we make a judgment we are asserting that we are different from God; we have separated from Him, sinned against Him, and have stolen from Him. Our guilt over that will then demand that we not escape the penalty of God’s anger. This whole world, which is a world of change and death, then stands as the witness to the fact that what the ego has taught us is true. If our existence, which we call life, was ultimately stolen from God, then when God steals back the life we stole from Him we will be without life, which means we will be dead. That is the ego’s interpretation of our death.
(3:6) God knows of justice, not of penalty.
10. God’s justice of course has nothing to do with justice as we think of it. God’s justice states that nothing happened. If nothing happened, there is no guilt and no punishment. (3:7) But in the dream of judgment you attack and are condemned; and wish to be the slave of idols, which are interposed between your judgment and the penalty it brings. But we are not condemned by God. We are condemned by the projection of our own guilt, which makes up a God Who is angry. We then deny the whole dynamic and make up a world in which we are continually condemning and judging others, while believing they condemned and judged us first. But our judgment is within our minds; that is our guilt. We project it out and make up a world of idols that will punish us; and we actually think there is a world out there that affects us. This is all part of the dream, which seems very real from within the dream.
Dear anon: Ditto Pam. It is really a beautiful reminder and a beautiful way to say it. Welcome to the Village.
Lots of hugs to all,
Lisi
Dear{{{{{Anon}}}}}
Ditto Pam and Lisi. Man….that sure is a say everything prayer. Thank you and welcome to the Village. Lots of Love to All Michele
Separation hurts.
Believing that it never happened is the Faith we are here to nuture.
How perfect is the prayer. Your prayer anon is our prayer.
Now is the perfect time to come home.
Morning everybody:
Really happy this morning with the beginning of the Review at the workbook. I feel really grateful for Jesus´ course. It is so brilliant and perfectly developed step by step. It is so cohesive. I am having the opportunity to see all this now that I am doing the lessons with Ken´s company. Yesterday´s lesson was again strong stuff. “I am sustained by the Love of God” Well, I really could attest yesterday that I believe I am sustain by everything but the Love of God. Hundreds of different things, some big, some small, some important, some in the least important, but I believe them all are my sustain right now. It was really interesting and painful at the beginning. I was disappointed early in the morning because my bottle of vitamins finished the day before and I forgot to buy a new bottle. How I dared to forget such an important thing!!! I was really angry with myself when the thought arose: “You are not sustained by a pill you are sustained by the love of God”, in that moment a smile appeared but also the thought: “Are you sure you are not going to buy tomorrow another bottle?” No doubt I am still a very split mind. But the great thing is that tomorrow for sure I am going to buy another bottle, but probably each morning when I take my pill, I would remember, “this is only magic, you think it could sustain you, but only God´s Love can sustain you.” And maybe, just maybe my stubbornness would begin to fade.
And the thing that made me happy this morning was to observe that Jesus finished yesterday with that Lesson, and today, the first review Lesson is “Nothing I see means anything”, but now I have fifty previous lessons that explain me that. Yesterday I discovered hundreds of things I use to obscure God´s Love, but today my practice will be: “Nothing I see means anything.” And the other four lessons that complete all the teaching of the day. A day worth living if I could at least be a little vigilant.
Lots of hugs,
Lisi
Dear anon, that was a truly beautiful poem. I hope you feel blessed by your own words, as we do. They carry me one tiny step closer to our goal, remembering that what we seek is only as far away as our own decision, which means as close as our own breath. Thank you.
On Lesson 51 in the workbook being the first review of the first 5 lessons and the review continues. It’s like getting to turn the page upside down, but without having to do so with puzzle or commics answers. J tells us exactly what he meant by the lesson title. Kind of a cool cheater apect, which of course for some reason I’ve never noticed my other two journey’s through the workbook. Pretty neat.
Welcome, Anon! I like Anons, because that is really what we all are, Random Anons. ehh?
Great joke, Michelle. I imagine that’s how things look to the ego when it discovers we’ve chosen J as our chauffeur. Who is that guy in back, really? The real me?
I noticed this time on the lesson that He (and Ken) kinda mention not to bother going back to read the old lesson (which I have done in previous passes/years), because He is going to tell you exactly what He meant right here. This lil’mind thinking is simply not to be heeded, at all. Veer it off to the side, cause we’re willing to see if we can hear something else.
I ditto Annie’s appreciation of Anon’s poem. These lines came together …
this terrible pain I feel
unrelenting, unceasing
. . .
is a symbol,, . . .
of the pain of banishing
myself
from Heaven,
and evidence
of my deep longing
to go
Home.
Well, yes, exactly, that’s all that any of these differently decorated pains are ever saying to me. How simple to both appreciate they are bringing this message, and how simple to accept it, and be done with them.
Dear Lisi –
Thanks for sharing the mini-story about the Vitamins. It sure is nice that the right thought popped into your mind just when you needed, and changed your mood into a smile. i love when that happens spontaneously (has happened a few times with me these last few months).
take care, love,
a
Don’t know why your story moved me so much – i was really enjoying dwelling in your post, even as i write this little note. perhaps i got to connect with you in your right-minded perception of that moment, and joy is a natural feeling in that state ?
:::smile:::
mini-stories are like vitamins.
I can miss a day or two (not) of the Village
but hearing your lightbulb moments really do help strenghten my own vigilance.
In fact, anons simple prayer really stirred me into an upright position; I wasn’t aware
I was starting to slack a bit.
Love and Blessings to All for a Peaceful Day.
I just finished watching a youtube interview with Jan Frazier. I’m really pretty impressed by her. Amongst other interesting things, when she was asked how she got ‘enlightened’, she said she just stopped identifying with the individual self. How did you do that? “Suffering got sick of itself. I saw there was an option. I stopped identifying with the suffering.” How can others do that? “Just by watching how you’re choosing your individual self in ever moment, just watch it, and see what it costs you in suffering. That’s all. Eventually the individual self dismantles itself and you just see what was always there. The only thing that stop you is seeing something that is not really there. It’s all about looking at what you think is there, and then it eventually drops away.”
Does any of this sound slightly familiar? What I love is how she comes to this with absolutely no spiritual background whatsoever. Her experience of the self falling away was completely spontaneous – it just happened. It was not anything she had ever thought about, nothing she knew anything about, and so when she talks about it, there are only the straight facts with no agenda. For me it brings so beautifully into clarity what I’m studying with Ken. She had this same experience and her discourse is the same, and yet she comes with no study of A Course In Miracles behind her. The Course is true, it speaks about an experience and process that is absolutely spot on. Other people from other traditions, an even those from no tradition with no investment in the Course, confirm it. Amazing. I love it.
If you read Frazier’s book “When fear falls away”, you’ll find she even finds out that we actually choose (subconsciously) all what happens to us too. I have almost finished it – it’s truly the Course. It is so wonderful to read about how the enlightened mind operates – and that it truly is not boring at all – oh boy do i want that more than ego! Great to know that she is at YouTube too – here i go now!
Hey all, Is it woo? I have been hanging out on Jan’s site most of today (she has some audios there also) and I’m impressed also. Haven’t read the book yet but it is next on my list. I have a lot of other nondual sites I go to and for me the Course is the foundation or maybe touch stone would be a better word, anyway,they all fold back in on each other, supporting each other and clarifing each other. I’m a likin’ it. I can feel resistance come up and somehow I’m not fighting with it as often. I am more able to just sit and look at it. Am going to add the “Love embraces this” that Bernard has mentioned on the Forgive page to my “looking” also.
Hugs ::smile:: relax
I have not had time for anything today!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow I will try to catch the interview at Youtube.
Lots of love to all,
Lisi
In a Sedona-session today, I felt one more aspect of the victim-identity: how safe she feels in giving control away – and in being a “sufferer”. A tremendous fear arose when I realized that “I can choose” – it was tremendous. Sinking into that, another part came forth, saying: “I have been giving myself over to light before, and was tricked.”
I remembered a moment between my father and I – so wonderfully symbolic of the moment of believing in the TMI – when we shared a moment of blissful light and one-ness – and wham, his dark side took over and in a split-second he “switched” and became unrecognizable scary and alien.
The shock was instantaneous and make a deep imprint: never trust the Light again: it is completely unpredictable.”
In the shocked state I was, I dissociated – as the Son of God also did – and was overtaken.
The memory this split-off Ninotchka carries was that being a terrorized victim was preferable to allowing Love in – the remembered shock and guilt that came when the Light seemed to change into darkness was not to be tolerated.
The change in the session came when Claire asked me if I possibly could let go of the determination to say no to Love – and the answer burst forth like new birth – of course I let go of that! And this happened on the level of Mind.
I saw that it never happened in reality – and that my spirit was safe in Love’s embrace. At that moment, truly letting go of resistance to Love, warmth trickled into my stiff and cold body.
So grateful now – and even more so, since I was stiff with intense fear before this session with Claire – I was stuck in a vortex of expecting to be controlled, and wanting to control back – expecting the worst nightmare scenario. I forgave the fear and the thoughts and asked to see Claire as God sees her, and I meant it – and even though I did not believe at all that this intention had made any difference at all, since it surely did not feel like that, I managed to state clearly what I wanted from Clare with respect to agreeing on a clear structure in the session. Somehow, a little slice of trust must have been there – and H.S used it to the full.
Now I feel I have a WILL again – sharing It with my own Love.
So cool Nina. The dance thing is still going on for me. Last night, at the fireside it felt something akin to a polka, sorta’ like the “Flying Dutchman” with this post the “release” feels more like a waltz.
Oh, that’s great, Nina. I could really sense what you were saying here. I loved all of it but particularly: “I felt one more aspect of the victim-identity: how safe she feels in giving control away – and in being a “sufferer”.” That’s really the way I’ve been feeling lately – my prison felt so safe in that I knew it so well, all my hateful convictions, the problems and limitations in my life, in life in general. It all felt so… familiar and ‘safe’ (in a totally insane way). I knew who I was in that world of limitation, danger and hopelessness. I had a role and a place. Unhappy ones, but nevertheless they were known. There were real to me. I think unconsciously we all know that be calling all these convictions and judgments into question that we are taking little steps away from that imprisoned identity and setting it free. And that’s what really shakes us up underneath.
Loved dancing with you, Pam. And everyone.
Okay, I’m opening this up for discussion. Our beautiful part of the French countryside has just been opened up for shale gas exploration. Nearly every municipality is up in arms about it, and tonight we went to Sarlat (a local big town) to see the film Gasland which describes the consequences of this type of gas production in the US (quite catastrophic). I had all the predictable responses: waves of righteous anger, the thrusting of my fist in my hand (“we’ll show them they can’t walk over us”), the color draining from my face when I saw the destruction of water supplies, etc.
And so now an hour later I’m trying to find out what’s really going on. I don’t want to just keep attacking the oil companies and the French politicians. So I first want to see that these guys are just fingers on one hand who are very confused. They think they need to get more and more money (as if that could ever change anything), and to ignore the condition of the other fingers (thinking they are separate and do not suffer from what they do to their brothers). Then of course I think I’m in danger if my water and health are damaged (after all, I think I’m a vulnerable body). And I think I will no longer be peaceful living in a land whose beauty has been destroyed by the countless trucks and derricks criss-crossing the countryside. Hmm. This is a tough call.
I am not separate from my brothers who are one with me. They are simply a confused aspect of myself, the one self we share. In addition, I can understand their motives and behavior because in one way or another I have done likewise, ignoring the negative consequences to other people of my selfish actions, motivated by a nonsensical lack. This will not stop me from trying to prevent them from damaging the land here, but it does help me remove my judgment and anger. They are me, and I am the same. I would no act on that ego-aspect of myself now, but I certainly have done so in the past, and thought I was very justified, too.
In addition, my reality is never in danger, even though my body’s continuation might be compromised. I can remember the eternal life that surrounds all of us all the time, and that is my origin. And the beauty I seek is never really in the natural countryside around me, but in some deep place within my mind. I can be happy in what appears to be a ruined countryside just as I can be in an inner city neighborhood, or on a tropical island. What is real never changes, and is always present. What is appearance will always stay appearance, and shift and change before my eyes. But my inner state can remain perfectly serene and calm all the time.
These are just the ideas I’m playing with to try to get my thoughts moving in a slightly more constructive direction. Any suggestions?
Oh, I forgot. “And Love embraces even this.”
Nina!!! How nice that you had those remembrances. Like Bernard I really loved this: “I felt one more aspect of the victim-identity.” It´s so important to observe all this in order heal.
Bernard, it is really funny, but I am in a similar situation as yours. People from other countries in alliances with politicians are trying to begin here, a place that Jacques Cousteau labeled as the Aquarium of the World, some open mines that involved the destruction of kilometers of land, the poison of water and air, and complete devastation. These toxic mining left behind all kind of environmental disasters and terrible illness in people near the mines. So, I practically agree with you in everything. And of course, I am going to sign the papers that a lot of people are doing in order to stop this. So we have a lot of work in perceiving this right. But as you said, Love embraces even this.
Lots of hugs to all,
Lisi
Bernard and Lisi, From the level of form ..boy that sucks!
As far as Course suggestions sounds like you’re going in the right direction.
And back to the level of form, well ya win some and you lose some. Time will tell. Here in Nebraska “we” won the battle of not having a nuclear waste dump installed in the north east part of the state (prime farm ground) but then several years later “lost” to a Canadian company mining uranium in the north west. Nebraska sits smack dab on top of the Ogallala Aquifer;one of the largest in the world (174,000sq miles /450,000sq km) It sits under at least part of 8 states.
Back to the Course; There is no hierarchy of illusions.
Good Luck
Thinking of suggestions, B…truly owning my fears, all of them, my angers, my perceptions of “them” – in detail – forgiving all these thoughts, without analyzing anything( and asking H.S. to correct the thoughts – and then do whatever comes to mind re using these mindless organisations to “educate” people of the damage to nature – without making them bad or guilty at all – just educating the population on how to approach it – maybe a little like Gandhi: be the change you want to see.
sequel to #114 –
“Determination” – this is the keyword to freedom for me. I can not let go of fear – but I can let go of my determination, my decision, for believing in fear. I can not let go of anger and hatred when I feel it – but I can let go of the determination, the decision to hate and be angry as part of an automatic old pattern of resistance.
I am finding these decisions so many places now – sharing one of them with my shrink in our last session today: the decision of fear of becoming fat. My body is changing and becoming fuller, and this old fear pops up. I see that in my family, we were all slim – absolutely all of the family, and so there lies a hidden contempt of fatness there in darkness. I saw that if I had been” fat” as a child, I would have been terrified of loosing love, being so “different” from the perfect ones – so the determination, the decision to hold on to fear of being fat keeps it there.
But no longer: now I choose to let go – or forgive, if you will – the determination for fear as “protection.”
In the night, I lay there and sensed how my will was back again. I have chosen against will the whole time (my whole life!) I was determined to choose fear as my identity – and haven’t seen it before now, when the blessed Claire asked me if I was willing to let go of my determination to be afraid.
Holding on to old identity…I remember an episode of my all time favorite series “Northern Exposure” – Life in Alaska. In one episode, the devil (in the guise of a very charming spa – salesman) comes to Cicely, and offers Shelley, the female bar owner, the chance to have a wish come through – in her case, that her bar is transformed into a casino! She just have to do the devil a small favor in return: “do you remember Holling’s
old bathrobe that you have wanted to throw away? burn it.” She looks at him – and he tells her, “I am just a talk-show host in dualistic theology.” And he also tells her to tell her husband that she gave the bathrobe to the Salvation Army…
In the night, Shelley takes the bathrobe, goes to the basement and opens the big door to the oven – the flames shoot out and makes a big devilish sound. She throws the bathrobe in – waits one second – and “no – no!!” draws it out again, stamping on the flames.
Why this story?
I see the old bathrobe as my old suffering-identity – It has become really worn out, it stinks from mold and old age – but it is so familiar, it’s “me” in a way – it is so safe – I just need to hang on to it just a little bit more…
Shelley in this episode allows her husband the right to throw it away when he is ready. She can NOT decide it for him. Likewise, I will allow myself the time I seem to need to throw my worn out stinky old suffering-identity away for good – and I will also as my practice notice where I think I need to put in on, for “safety” – and notice what the consequences are.
Nina, this was such a great post, I loved reading it and even more thinking about it. It seems that a number of us are starting to look at this old, worn and moldy identity and saying, enough! And we can’t force ourselves to. I really like this idea of saying that I can’t let something go, but I can let go of wanting to keep it, I can let go of the determination to keep something, and I can see something that I would like to be able to let go of. This is stepping back in the gentlest way possible. I think this is what Ken has always really been talking about but using other language. He is always saying just look at it with kindness, taking Jesus’ hand. He’s always saying not to DO something about our hurts and fears, just be willing to look at them, and see that they’ve been hurting, not helping, us. About being fat, yes, the body is such an incredible source of identity, and we are so willing to keep judgments against ourselves. I like the word ‘willing’ because it shows that we have such an active part in our own self-condemnation, actually inviting, wishing and keeping our self-condemning thoughts. And what if, as you say, we just decided to say, I’d like to give up on the determination to keep all these harmful thoughts. That’d be so much easier!
Yes, my 117 was a very mechanical way of trying to get my thoughts back in the right direction. I was still in condemnation and so slipped into theology rather than experience. The real healing comes through what you’re saying, allowing the experience of the hate and anger and holding it gently at a slight distance allowing it to run its course, knowing it is not really dangerous and has no real power. It’s the resistance that always gives it power, which is the judgment saying ‘this feeling is wrong’. That won’t help much. It would be much more helpful for me to say, hey, look at this feeling of amazing fear and hate, let’s not fight or resist it or call it names. Let it be, just let it be there, don’t be afraid of it. Just determine that this is something that you don’t feel a need to hold on to anymore for protection. You don’t need to build and maintain this identity out of hate, fear and judgment anymore, not if you don’t want to.
I was reading Miracles vs Magic by Ken in the tub and these words jumped out:
“Do not work at your problems or your symptoms. Just ask Jesus to help you smile at them. If you can smile, then the peace of God will come back to you, because the seriousness covered it over.” …”This is simple and requires no effort: “I need do nothing.”…Use the Course as a way of teaching you not to take your life seriously. That is helpful. It will make things much easier for you.” Bev (:
Bev- I just read your post above and laugh: this is what I just wrote at my blog:
not taking ego seriously
I got a foretaste on this through a dream this morning:
I am in a not familiar, vast field-like landscape with slopes. It is winter. I am in a little sledge, or toboggan – and there is a magician /illusionist here too. He is making a one-man-show, and I am in awe of how completely real this seems. Now he is multiplying himself – how does he do that!!?? suddenly there is five of him! And he makes dogs, now, too – I sense the air pressure when they are whizzing past me – wow, can illusions make air-pressure??
Now, seeing that all this is illusion, I get a prize: a tour on my toboggan ( now it is driven by an un-known phenomenal force) to a place I don’t know. The speed is enormous, and the air is filled with a soft cool mist – this mist is the very boon, it seems –
I am screaming and crying in ecstasy, driving uphill in darkness toward the point of the uttermost North. The crying is so releasing – I L O V E T H I S
Wake up happy 🙂
And this day, I know with all of me that the tension inside is ego – the impulse to hurry – the thoughts that I “should” do things …the identification with ego gone
-and I notice that each wondrous time this happens top me these days, it is more solid. Today I have several times laughed at the ego – really! It is true!
And the only difference from being stuck, like earlier, is this: recognizing it, not taking it seriously – in short, not believing in it
Dear Nina:
Re: 99 above, I know not why I chose to write anonymously. It just so happened.
And am truly sorry that this held you back from sharing your thoughts on the same.
Perhaps in retrospect, I chose to write under ‘anon’, so as to have those lines stand on their own, without reference to any particular worldly person, gender, or any such attribute/perception of the figures in our dream.
God Is. And so is Love.
Dear anon (:
that is a beautiful thought: to have the lines stand on their own, without any reference. Oh it is lovely when the “I” disappear. I juts know that whoever you are in this world (not) I love you and know you – and that is enough.
Thankyou for that!
Bev, following on from your tub-revelations, I spent the day using HBNS therapy. Doesn’t sound familiar? I spent the day working on the house with so much to do and little seeming progress, repeating to myself quietly with a smile, it might be “Hopeless, But certainly Not Serious”. Everything we want is here. Still here. Always here. Softly here.
Natti, dear Bernard and everyone
may gentle angels cure your website (and my Skype)
re #126 and #127 –
I think the barrier i felt reading post 126 was some judgment I have about “hiding” because of some shame – and I think that shame is in me, deeply buried – and this is good to know –
I am aware of a big guilt around projecting – and i want to forgive myself for believing I am guilty of destroying anonymous/God -I even am aware of wanting to feel guilty, so I sorta attack myself first, not to be attacked of God’s big sledgehammer –
let me recognize this problem has already been solved
-and i still feel the shame – very deep…
I remember in Sufi-training, our teacher told us about “the shame-core” – that not-personal/individual shame, inherent in the human soul – this shame feels like it thrives on being hidden, it lays there and festers, feeding itself of repression –
ah – I can simply letting it hang out here now – it is only when I attach a”me” and “my story” to it that I have to hide it –
here it is now –
and underneath is grief – another word for guilt – and underneath that is pure longing
Excellent helpful posts – Bernard, Lisi, Nina……everyone. I wish *I had some words of wisdom that I have so often received here.
As *I am in a period of almost complete resistance at the moment, (and the moment has seemed to last for days, except for some wonderful holy instants and even hours of peaceful surrender) all I can tell you is what *I am doing.
On the level of form, *I’m doing all I can with what I think will make me feel better with all of the magic available. Then, I’m “stepping back” by observing and watching neutrally – and when not doing it neutrally – watching that. You know….as Ken says “watching yourself watch yourself watching yourself watch yourself…..”
“Being in your right mind is being in your wrong mind and looking without judgment.”~Ken Wapnick
“Being in your right mind is being in your wrong mind with Jesus.”~Jaime Romkey
Nothing original or new – but it’s the best *I’ve got – and *I thank you for the gems received in your posts.
Love and Gratitude,
melody
There is a new re-posted post at the Remembered Song. I think all of you are going to enjoy it now, in these, not so easy, times. It is Eden´s Cradlesong, and, I think, it is the most beautiful reminder of our relationship with Jesus. Enjoy it!
Lots of hugs to you all
Lisi
Melody, you are reassuring allllll of us that it is totally okay to be totally involved in magic (remember, even breathing is magic, if we believe it’s keeping us alive), and to be totally doing this Course at the same time. It’s not about behavior, it’s not about not doing magic, doing all those things we think we need to do take care of ourselves. As you say, it’s about doing all that ANNNNDDDD stepping back and observing ourselves doing it AS IF it were saving or maintaining our lives. We just want to watch our insanity and recognize it for what it is, doing so more and more calmly, with a bigger and bigger smile on our faces. We just want to see how we can fool ourselves that we need all these different conditions to be aligned perfectly in our lives to exist and be happy. The craziness is that Happiness is walking with us every step of the way while we’re looking for happiness. It’s. Right. There. You’re breathing it, even now. We gotta chuckle.
Love you new pic Melody!
I’m still reading the text and it seems so clear that we cannot do this on our own:
T-9.IV.2.You have a part to play in the Atonement, but the plan of the Atonement is beyond you. 2 You do not understand how to overlook errors, or you would not make them. 3 It would merely be further error to believe either that you do not make them, or that you can correct them without a Guide to correction. 4 And if you do not follow this Guide, your errors will not be corrected. 5 The plan is not yours because of your limited ideas about what you are. 6 This sense of limitation is where all errors arise. 7 The way to undo them, therefore, is not of you but for you.
T-9.IV.5 Forgiveness that is learned of me does not use fear to undo fear.
2 Nor does it make real the unreal and then destroy it. 3 Forgiveness through the Holy Spirit lies simply in looking beyond error from the beginning, and thus keeping it unreal for you.
I guess the first 2 times through the course I wasn’t ready to “hear or see”
that I needed a guide. This time that’s what jumps out at me. HBNS Bev
Bev, what is HBNS please?
Bernard used it in post 128 “Hopeless but not serious”
So, we have HBNS Nina, HBNS Pam, HBNS Bev, HBNS Bernie, HBNS… Let’s all be so U N – S E R I O U S ! ! Y A Y ! !
I’m recalling one moment in March’s seminar where Ken stated that he usually doesn’t brag but he did have one story that he was proud of. My ears popped in anticipation, he shifted from his lecture style to sharing his personal experience of life with Helen. (love that) He went on to share how he would take every opportunity to encourage Helen to write poetry ie: requesting a poem as a birthday present. It was one of these scribings that later found its way into the Course and she had asked him (Ken) to find the perfect place for it.
As I was reading the link that Anne in Tn offered, I found that story:
A relatively major focus of my time with Helen was her poetry, and one of my “assignments” was to rescue scraps of poems that Helen would write on little pieces of paper. If I were able to preserve these, Helen was later able to generate the rest of the poem. This was always successful, except for one fragment that Helen could never do anything with. Finally one day, she said to me that this fragment was not a poem but belonged in the Course, and she wanted me to find the right place. The verse began with the lines “There is a risk in thinking death is peace,” and it found its rightful home in Chapter 27 of the text. …”
Again what caught my attention was, what does a guy like Ken brag about? And there it was in the article in quotation marks “assignment”…because he was on purpose rescueing these scraps of poems this line in the Course found its rightful home. The man is clear on what his purpose is and its the perfect example of right minded bragging!
The irony is that I needed to really hear and get that line, that message, because I have been entertaining the thought that my Fathers approaching death will bring him and the family peace. I’m being asked to think again and reevaluate my thoughts, words and actions.
I have been asking for True Vision it was delivered for me and now I am astonished at the resistance. I have been extremely angry since I’ve return from Temecula. But that is par for the course (pun intended). Oh to be of single minded purpose with only my Father in Heaven to please.
For Annie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXMKH3j23Gw&feature=related
{{{{Winnie}}} Thank you so much for Annie´s gift. I am sure she will share it with me.
{{{{Annie}}} I missed seeing this until today. Holding you with my heart dear one. And as for Winnie’s gift to you- oh wow That is part of the sound track from “Johnathan Livingston Seagull”. Very nice images the person choose to go with the song.
And to repeat Melody from her pondering on ” Village Square: Episode 1″ Happy Anniversary!
Wanted to share this from the Course starting at T,15,VI,8;1
“In the holy instant God is remembered,and the language of communication with all your brothers is remembered with Him. For communication is remembered together, as is truth. There is no exclusion in the holy instant because the past is gone, and with it goes the whole basis for exclusion. Without its source exclusion vanishes. And this permits your Source, and That of all your brothers, to replace it in your awarness. God and the power of God will take Their rightful place in you and you will experience the full communication of ideas. Through your ability to do this you will learn what you must be, for you will begin to understand what your Creator is, and His creation along with Him.”
**********************The Needless Sacrifice*******************
“Beyond the poor attraction of the special relationship, and always obscured by it, is the powerful attraction of the Father for His Son. There is no other love that can satisfy you, because there IS no other love. This is the only love that is fully given and fully returned. Being complete, it asks nothing. Being wholly pure, everyone joined in it has everything.”
Bev, thanks for stopping by. Lovely to see you. It’s true how we all struggle with something so lovely as acceptance. Almost as if we derive all our power from saying, “I deny your acceptance of me!” Aren’t we awfully silly creatures. Can’t you just see an upset little child refusing his mother’s love as if all his power lies in saying, No, I don’t want your love – all the while we know that he wants it more than anything. And now we get to simply suggest to ourselves, all I have to do is accept acceptance. “There is a God who loves and accepts me.”
{{{{Pam}}}} Just what I needed today. Beautiful. Thanks.
{{{{Annie}}} I too didn’t see your post about your Dad and your anger since being back from Temecula. I wasn’t aware of your Dad’s condition. I think it’s natural to return from Temecula and be more aware of our ego’s resistance, not that I’ve ever been, but as you know,those are the gifts J wants from us. All the muck and mire…Jamie calls hime the Maytag repairman.
Annie, to #139 –
I remember when my mother died, and the feelings i felt felt SOO strange and not-me-ish – and at a certain point I was given the thought that I was picking up my mothers feelings as she was passing – some regrets, there were (-:
who knows who’s anger it is that you are feeling
and who cares -‘but for me at that time, it was good to know that I was not “responsible to solve” those feelings – just allow them to pass – as I did not take them personal any longer –
warmly
Nina
{{{{Annie}}}} I did not see your post until now. I have been coming rather fast the last days and I only saw Winnie’s gift for you and I even said that I was sure you will share it with me! Wow, I am sure your were having really difficult times because I was having the same difficult times with my mother. It seems I am a little more willingly now to let Jesus help me, so today I decided to come and join with all of you here at the Village. I just read also all the other posts, and Michele, Pam, Nina, Bernard, Melody, Winnie, a*, Bev and all Village friends thank you.
Lots of hugs,
Lisi
Annie, I too just read (and previously missed) your post about your anger since Temecula and your thoughts regarding your dad.
I just finished reading Lisi’s post from yesterday, and after you read it, it is sort of like “proof” that this Course works……
It’s all normal Annie – we’re split minded *here in the illusion – and choose Love, not of this world in our right mind, on a level we are not even aware of, become afraid, and choose “our old friends” of the ego thought system in their myriad of forms. Being in Temecula has a way of doing this to me, too. 🙂
Beyond the resistance and the anger is the Love, and we will choose it not only again, yet more and more….as we learn through honest observation the true joy that comes with the peace of choosing our right mind brings.
It’s all part of the process, which is why I keep writing about it on here, and at this moment, I’m writing this message to myself, (always, that’s the reason for writing) as well as to you – as *I am in (yet another !) spell of it myself. I’m not quite as easily fooled, and even more importantly the trust that I have developed thanks to the “mighty companions” of experience have taught me all is perfect, even tho I, as a decision making mind don’t always “feel” that perfection – until – I let go of that resistance on a level that I’m not even aware of most times – until the reflection of that choice/decision is experienced in form.
I hope that as you read this, the heavy block has already dissolved, or begun to, into the fragile veil that it is.
Ain’t we just all doing this together? Just makes me think that maybe there’s not just a collection of separated lil individuals out there but just One Family connected by our holding hands, by our joint will to walk Home and lift this veil together. Heave ho, let’s shift this veil up a little more and find out what’s underneath all this silly muck.