Village Square II
In our AcimVillage, we have the plane tree that stands in the central village square. Its enormous branches spread out to cover an area wide enough to provide shade on a warm day for many a traveller or tradesman. Water bubbles and trickles from a stone fountain on the eastern side. It is under the plane tree and by the fountain that wandering sages have traditionally lead conversation with the local people, before setting off again on their way; it is here that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom.
Rules to ponder…
Study of A Course In Miracles benefits greatly from sharing our experiences in its practice. Here you can talk about what works, or doesn’t, for you, taking obvious care not to be ‘preachy’, please. We all learn best when someone talks from their own experience, rather than tries to tell us what we should be doing differently. Let’s take the position that none of us are teachers, we are all at the same point returning on the path Homeward. All of us will still be making mistakes for a while yet, so let’s be particularly humble and caring in how we deal with each other. Please keep in mind that this is a site dedicated to the approach Kenneth Wapnick takes to teaching ACIM. I shall certainly do my best to bring everyone back to the core principles as taught by him.
I would also like to point out that AcimVillage is the place to come to explore our judgments, but not to express them as judgments. If you feel you need to gripe, criticize and vent, even subtly, then contact me privately (at bernard@pauloandthemagician.com) where I will receive you with kindness and understanding. Please do not do so in the forums where I will inevitably moderate out this kind of post. Remember, you will feel better only when you are able to move past the investment in your judgments, not simply by unloading them for everyone to see. This means taking responsibility for your perceptions and acknowledging that ultimately no one has prevented you from feeling completely peaceful and safe, despite what might appear to be the unfortunate conditions of your life at this time. (I know, this is hard. Contact me if you’re struggling.)
So, two basic rules here. One, we avoid mention of other approaches to the study of ACIM (non-Wapnickian) as well as to other philosophies we might be studying. This is purely to achieve a stable, comfortable learning forum where we are all aiming at the same goal, using the same symbols and language to get there. This is not to cast any judgment on any other approaches or philosophies. ACIM is a sufficiently difficult path to undertake without bringing more confusion into our study than our minds already contain! If you have benefited from other paths and would like to share your thoughts, by all means do so. Just please do this in the privacy of your personal emails. It’s also my personal opinion (take it or leave it) that at some point a student of ACIM is much better off sticking with one set of symbols and one teacher, and working with these thoroughly, instead of getting too dispersed. Rule two, we try not to play ‘teacher’ with each other here, reminding ourselves to be humble and always equal with our brother.
Enjoy the discussion!
New Horizons
As of September, 2010, I’m proposing a direction for our study of the Course, which is to work together through Ken’s workshop The Meaning of Judgment. We’ll be using his transcript notes for this taken from the Foundation’s website (see link in the tool bar at the top of the page). Below you’ll find the notes for the section we’re currently working on. For previous sections, click on the ‘ACIM’ tab on the navigation bar, and then hover your mouse over the ‘Meaning of Judgment’ tab to choose the relevant section. I chose this particular workshop because it gets immediately into the real heart and practice of the Course while taking us through its basic principles at the same time. So, for those interested in finding out where the ‘rubber hits the road’, even though it might get a little confronting at times, then join us on this little adventure Homewards!
The Meaning of Judgment
Excerpts from the Workshop held at the
Academy & Retreat Center of the Foundation for A Course in Miracles
PART III
“THE FORGIVING DREAM” (T-29.IX), cont.
(3:1) All figures in the dream are idols, made to save you from the dream.
1. Everything we perceive and believe is outside us is part of the dream. These are the idols, and their purpose is to make the outside dream real to protect us from the dream within our minds, which we do not want to look at. Course students compromise this over and over again by trying in whatever way they can to make some aspect of the external dream reality. That is why many students place such great emphasis on seeing Jesus or the Holy Spirit as doing things for them in the world. That is a subtle way of making Them part of the illusion, whereas in the Course Jesus asks us to take the illusion to the truth, not to bring the truth to the illusion. We have a strong investment in making the outside dream real, because if it is real outside, we do not have to look at the dream within our minds. What better way to make it seem real than to have God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit operate in it?
2. That is why it is a mistake to confuse A Course in Miracles with New Age thought systems. The Course in no way compromises the truth that the entire physical universe is an illusion. But we want to make the figures in the dream reality, including the Holy Spirit and Jesus so we are protected from the underlying dream inside our minds.
(3:2) Yet they [all of these idols] are part of what they have been made to save you from.
3. These idols were made to save us from the idol we made within our own minds (the ego thought system) that says, “I have stolen from God and I now exist. I have what I have stolen. I no longer have to give it back, and I exist on my own. And now God exists outside me.” The ego begins with that initial thought of judgment, which is the beginning of the dream. It then becomes a full-blown dream within our minds that we are different from God, that we have stolen from God and sinned against Him. And our guilt over this now tells us God will punish us. This is the terrifying dream within our own minds. It is so terrifying that we do not look at it, but project it so that it now seems to be outside us. And anything that roots us further in the dream outside will nicely serve the ego’s purpose, even if it goes under the name of God, which is what religions have done for centuries. It is extremely tempting for people to do the same thing with A Course in Miracles — to bring part of the truth into the illusion, making the illusion real. If you do that, you will never get out of the dream, because you will not know it is only a dream.
(3:3) Thus does an idol keep the dream alive and terrible, for who could wish for one unless he were in terror and despair?
4. The “you” Jesus is referring to in these passages is the mind, the part of the mind that chooses — what I refer to as the decision maker. It is the part of our minds that has first identified with the ego thought system. It is a thought system of terror and despair that tells us we need to protect ourselves from the terror and despair by denying it, which means we would never look at it again. And then we project it and see it outside ourselves. That is why we need a world of specific people and specific objects. We project all of these thoughts of sin, guilt, and judgment so they are no longer seen within, but outside. As long as we believe in the reality of the idol, we will never know that the idol really rests within our own minds.
(3:4) And this the idol [anything in the world outside of us] represents, and so its worship is the worship of despair and terror, and the dream from which they come.
5. This is true for the idols of specialness we think are wonderful and make us happy as well as the idols of specialness we hate. Earlier in the text, in “The Obstacles To Peace” (T-19.IV), Jesus speaks about this in another form: “While you believe that it [the body] can give you pleasure, you will also believe that it can bring you pain” (T-19.IV-A.17:11). Pleasure and pain are opposite sides of the same illusion. Both of them make the body real because both say there is something outside us that can make us either happy or unhappy and bring us pain. The truth is that the only thing that can bring us happiness is choosing the Love of the Holy Spirit. The only thing that can bring us pain is choosing the ego. That is all. There is nothing else.
6. The lines here represent the same idea. That is why we become so invested in the world. It is easy to fall into this trap, even as a student of a course that teaches that there is no world, for we still believe that external behaviors somehow mean something. They mean nothing in and of themselves. Their meaning lies only in what meaning we give them. What is important is never anything external — not what bodies do or do not do — but our internal decision to choose either the ego and separation, or Jesus and joining. Once we focus our attention outside and believe what we do is important, helpful, healing, or loving, we are getting caught in specialness, worshipping the idol of specialness. We will think that we are serving a function of healing or love, but it really is an idol of despair and terror.
7. In worshipping the idols of specialness outside, we are worshipping not only terror, despair, and guilt, but the whole dream, of which terror, despair, and guilt are only components. We are worshipping the dream that we have what we have stolen from God and will never give it back, for now we exist as individuals on our own. We love terror, despair, and guilt, or we would not feel them all the time. We love them because they make real the thought of separation — the thought of the original judgment against God — which makes real our separate existence from God. That is why we have such a tremendous investment in our self-importance, in being a unique individual — it establishes that the dream is real. The state of terror or despair in our minds says the dream is real; the guilt and the sin are both real.
(3:5) Judgment is an injustice to God’s Son, and it is justice that who judges him will not escape the penalty he laid upon himself within the dream he made.
8. It is important to realize that the entire thought system of the ego is real within itself. It is not reality, but within the dream itself it is all very real. When we sleep at night and dream, we will experience the dream as very real. This entire world is a dream. As Jesus explains elsewhere (e.g., T-18.II.7-14), there is no difference between what we call our sleeping dreams and what he refers to as our waking dreams, such as we are experiencing right now. They are all the same — just different expressions of the thoughts within our minds. Within the ego dream, the fear of punishment is very real. Within that dream, our fear of experiencing harm — physical or emotional — is very real. We are not asked, as students of A Course in Miracles, to deny what our experiences are. We are asked, however, not to make these experiences reality. There is a crucial difference between those two approaches.
9. In other words, we all experience fear, and we believe our fear is due to something external to us that can impinge upon us. The ego interprets this as the wrath of God visited upon us — that is our experience. We may not consciously experience it as God’s wrath, but we certainly do experience fear as caused by something external to us. Remember, our own bodies are just as external to our minds as everyone else’s body is. But that does not make it reality. That is where the Christian Churches were mistaken; they took their experience of fear and wrote a theology about it. They said this is the reality of God: God sees our sin as real and has a plan to help us atone for it, basically a plan of murder. The plan then becomes one of suffering and sacrifice. If we believe we are sacrificing so God won’t be angry at us, then we will feel good about sacrificing. But that does not make it reality. Our experience is that the sun rises and sets but that does not make it reality. In reality, it is the earth rotating on its own axis that makes it appear as if the sun moves around the earth. And in fact, it is the earth that moves around the sun. Similarly, people may experience the Holy Spirit or Jesus doing things for them in the world, but that does not mean that they really are. Don’t confuse your experience with reality. The ego always interprets our experiences in order to construct a theology that serves its purposes, which of course is why we have the experience in the first place. Within our dream, whenever we make a judgment we are asserting that we are different from God; we have separated from Him, sinned against Him, and have stolen from Him. Our guilt over that will then demand that we not escape the penalty of God’s anger. This whole world, which is a world of change and death, then stands as the witness to the fact that what the ego has taught us is true. If our existence, which we call life, was ultimately stolen from God, then when God steals back the life we stole from Him we will be without life, which means we will be dead. That is the ego’s interpretation of our death.
(3:6) God knows of justice, not of penalty.
10. God’s justice of course has nothing to do with justice as we think of it. God’s justice states that nothing happened. If nothing happened, there is no guilt and no punishment. (3:7) But in the dream of judgment you attack and are condemned; and wish to be the slave of idols, which are interposed between your judgment and the penalty it brings. But we are not condemned by God. We are condemned by the projection of our own guilt, which makes up a God Who is angry. We then deny the whole dynamic and make up a world in which we are continually condemning and judging others, while believing they condemned and judged us first. But our judgment is within our minds; that is our guilt. We project it out and make up a world of idols that will punish us; and we actually think there is a world out there that affects us. This is all part of the dream, which seems very real from within the dream.
More dream ponderings. For the past couple of months I noticed that I usually seem anxious in the dream. It seemed to me that although I was remembering to ask for Jesus’ hand in my waking dream, I did not have enough awareness in my sleeping dreams. Then in 2 dreams last week I actually remembered that there was another way. Then last night I had this dream. “I’m walking down a street then turn to my right and there is a difficult obstacle course involving other people. I don’t think. I just do whatever seems do be called for. After I finish there is a celebration and I’ve won the challenge. The man that planned the course talks to me and asks me how I did it as it was almost impossible. I feel put on the spot and say that I “allowed” it to happen. He nods and states “you trusted.” I do not know these people so I agree. He then asks who is your teacher? I do not want to blurt out the Holy Spirit so I say no body. He replies that I need and teacher and then makes a few suggestions. The End.
The interesting thing for me is when I was doing “The Course” I just flowed along. When I was asked for explanations I became anxious.
Peace to all foolishness. LUV BEV
Wow Bev – what a wonderful dream … and confirmation that you have competed this Course somewhere in the time hologram. I wonder if “the man that planned the course” was at that point, the ego, talking about his mad course into insanity immediately trying to jump back in and get you to think, since he was so interrogative ? And if that`s the case, what an awesome answer you gave – “no body”
big hugs to you and all xxoxoox
As bernard said we are doing this “all together”. It´s really wonderful to read all your posts Melody with all the experiences you are having lately. It is so refreshing to listen to someone speaking the Course as you. And Bev, what a great dream, and Winnie´s interpretation is impeccable. You are really gifted about interpreting dreams according to the Course my dear Winnie!
Hi Gang~
Wow Bev, very neat dream and Winnie – great explanation! As soon as I read the word “nobody” I had a thought, but it was fuzzy! You nailed it Winnie!
Katrina and Bev, I was supposed to get some info in Temecula this weekend – one aspect, as I recall, we all resolved as it was regarding Ken’s latest video. Since my “big dilemma” truly dissolved into nothingness, I’m assuming it’s a non issue. It seems to be there was something else tho – if so, refresh my memory.
I’m feeling somewhat “anxious” about going to California. This is always a pattern for me, no matter where I go. Drama queen at it’s best. What clothes to take, how to pack so they don’t get wrinkled, how to fit everyone in (some dear friends will be there who have friends they want us to meet) plus looking forward to meeting Jean….blah blah blah….
Lol….honestly, it is so “all the same.” I’m feeling neutral in the midst of the drama – kinda like I know it’s all going to work out, but have to “go through the motions of chaos” – yet know it is nothing. Really insane, gang, I almost hesitate to put this into words, as it doesn’t make any sense at all, but trying my best here, because it’s all so silly. And all the same…..like I said!
Wow, before I would get right into the midst of the chaos…..now I’m on the periphery – watching – one foot in it but not all the way!
We’re going to visit our daughter and her family in Rendondo on Wednesday, so will be gone a full week. Sunday (the day after we return) we’re going to a large family gathering for Easter. *I really want to do all of this with the Teacher of Love, in my right mind. *I really would rather be happy than right. *I could see peace, and I’m never feeling chaotic for the reason(s) I think! I’ve already dialed area code 534! Now, just have to trust *I’ll be still enough to “hear” the Answer….and I do trust….:)
Love and Gratitude to all, and thank you Bernard – we certainly are “all doing this together…..” so lifting the veil, with all of us sharing the process of it should be so much easier than doing it alone. Great analogy!
Hi Melody, I remember I had a question, but I do NOT remember it — musta’ been an ego decoy. I think we resolved it here.
Is Redondo Beach where your grandkids moved? I hope so, and that you get to see them.
Weather is blue skies and warm, mid to high 70’s. Capri’s and short sleeves, maybe a sweatshirt or sweater for evening.
Thank you Katrina~
Anne – Annie?!-Speak now, or will we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that *we* are clear?! …..At least for the moment! 🙂
Since Easter is just around the corner, I’m re-posting here an article that might help to prepare you for the ‘ego meltdowns’ that usually occur during those family reunions. Just replace ‘Christmas’ with ‘Easter Sunday’…
The “Ego-Hangover”
So Christmas and the New Year, not to mention Thanksgiving, have come and gone. All those amazing family celebrations. And to get things started on the right foot this year at the Village I would like you all to submit some of your juicy titbits from these wondrous moments spent in the close company of your loved ones (and of your less-loved ones). After all, if self-honesty is what this is all about, then we have to get stuck into a little personal review from this ‘magical’ end-of-year period, right?
It’s time to take stock. We’re not doing this course because we know it’s going to be peaches and cream the whole way. I mean, what’s the chance that during these past two months of celebrations there wasn’t at least one moment of impatience, of judgment, of excluding someone from your highest consideration. Was everyone you met and whom you dined with during this period included in your mind as a perfect and holy Son of God? I mean, let’s get real. This is your mayor you’re tawkin’ to. After your celebrations there was the party hangover, okay. Now we’re talking about the ego-hangover.
I know Uncle Eustace and cousin Myrtle and nephews Thaddeus and Basil were truly charming and generous as always, but what about the others. Yes, the others. You know the ones I mean. No one escapes feeling at times that they would like someone in particular to be different, to be more sensitive, more participating, more flexible. Or they’d like things to be different. There’s something happening that you don’t like, maybe you wanted things to go differently, maybe things are just not happening the way you wanted (“I can’t believe she just put the salad on the table – she knew it was for later”). Maybe it’s because of someone else, or just ‘life’. But in the back of your mind there’s always someone you’re afraid of disappointing. Someone is not going to understand, is going to get upset. You’ve got to make sure granddad feels included or eats exactly what he wants, and you know the thing you definitely better not say to Auntie Gertrude and the direction the conversation better not take.
I think the true blessing of Thanksgiving and Christmas is not the love we might share between family members. That’s nice, but that’s not it. It is more the burgeoning awareness that despite the love that is sometimes not apparently present, Love is still truly present. It just doesn’t look the way we thought it should. That’s all.
Our sensitivities and upsets, and certainly those of other people, occur only to keep our attention well away from the silent and holy presence that encompasses us all. I, for one, found it funny how I could bridle every time a certain person at my dinner table opened his mouth. It just seemed he was incapable of saying anything sensitive or intelligent. As if he should be something other than the way he was. Why? Why should it be so difficult to include him exactly as he is in my love?
Because then I would have to include myself in that Love.
Inevitably every time we are upset with someone else or the way things are going, we are holding a judgment against ourselves. We don’t really need to dig to find out specifically what it is. We can be pretty sure, however, that it is one version or another of self-condemnation, for not being good enough, for not being acceptable in our own eyes. We have replaced God as judge and executioner. Why bother the Big Kahuna and find out what He really thinks? I can do a better job. In fact, I already know how things turn out.
So when Uncle Benedict opens his mouth and I get upset, it’s because somewhere I have imagined that it’s only when we are coherent, sensitive and ‘intelligent’ that we are acceptable in Love’s eyes. And I hold that exact accusation against myself.
If I knew that no matter how stupid, incoherent and insensitive I really am, Love still accepts and embraces me wholly and completely, then I would just smile and join with my brother in our mutual silliness. It might even become a celebration of silliness, at least the silliness that we could do anything that would exclude us from God’s Love.
What can turbo charge this perception is remembering the specific purpose behind all these upsets – Granddad Hippolytus’, Auntie Gertrude’s, and mine. Now that’s when it becomes really funny. That dinner table which became the breeding ground of tension and unspoken reprimands – it had a purpose, it was designed to fulfil a function.
Love is present, but it must remain unseen. Voilà! That’s it, that’s all.
Every word uttered is focused to take the attention off of the one thing that is so amazingly obvious, and to get the attention back to the illusion, back to appearances. So, another round of “Did you hear about …” followed by a description of some newsy event, the weather, someone’s life details, even just the poor decoration in the recently opened restaurant. Anything will do. As long as the most obvious thing in the world remains unspoken and unmentioned:
LOVE.
Everything points back to Its presence. Their silliness. Our silliness. Everything.
And Love smiles on absolutely unabated.
So let’s welcome these family meetings with open arms. Though we might have been disappointed by them in the past, now we’re protected by a special understanding that there is nothing more to avoid, no troubles that can remove the most obvious Guest in our party. He has come to meet with us, and to meet us where we are. No need for things to be any different from the way they are. Everything is perfect just the way it is.
The perfect result we were seeking for our family meetings does not have a specific shape or form. It is not when everyone leaves with a smile on his or her face, when all the potential problems and pitfalls were avoided. It is when our inner smile stays fixed on the presence of Christ in our family members and sees the Love there, the Love that is simply scared of remembering Itself and makes up a few stories to pass the time together and divert our attention. Tensions and upsets are merely an indication that Love is present, not that it is absent.
If we can manage, even just a little, to see our self-judgments and forgive them when things don’t go quite right, then we bring peace back to the party. And Love has returned once more.
Let us make this year different by making it all the same: let us recognize the efforts we all make to deny Love’s presence among us through our judgments and irritations. Our Guest has come; we can only acknowledge His presence with a gentle smile. We smile at our silly upsets and self-condemnations. We are not up to our expectations – no one is. But we are up to His, no matter how things go.
An Eulogy to the Bliss in ‘Bliss-Ninny’
The occupational hazard of working with Ken’s teachings is that we can confuse means and end. He has told us this many times; the intention of this message is to make sure that we do not focus on the end (the Love of God) and forget the means that Jesus has provided us (looking at all our unloving thoughts). One risk, however, is that, in our effort to focus on our unloving thoughts, we then make this the end. In this case we might find ourselves endlessly finding all the darkness in our thoughts and then remaining with this instead of claiming the happiness and lightness that is on the other side. In essence, we may think that because we have found the darkness and are really ‘working through it’ that we are doing what Ken wants. It would be a pity to think that Ken wants us to find the darkness without the light that is our true comfort and reward.
Additionally we might think we are nicely avoiding another pitfall Ken points out to us, that of being a ‘bliss-ninny’. This kind of person typically glosses over the ego and makes a sprint for home base without working through the other bases. Thus, we might believe that if we continually stay at the other bases (working hard through the ego darkness) that we can reassure ourselves at least we are not making this ‘terrible’ error. This would be unfortunate since we would be depriving ourselves of the real reason for undertaking this course in the first place. Our goal is Love. Yes, we must work through what is un-loving within us to get there. But we must also spend time realizing that we are fully worthy of this Love, and completely at home within Its embrace at all times.
So the message is that we should not skip steps – we’ve heard this many times before, but here I would like to turn the message around. Ken usually means by this that we should not pretend that we have forgiven just because we have done the last step – inviting the Holy Spirit’s Love to fill our minds and replace our ego darkness. He means that we must work through the critical steps along the way: seeing that we contain precisely the same characteristics as the person we judge (projection), and that we condemn ourselves in precisely the same way; seeing the terrible condemnation of the Son of God on which our judgment is based; and realizing the cost to our peace of mind. Then we remember that we would really prefer now to release this judgment and accept the Holy Spirit’s thoughts in place of ours. Again, the risk is, since we want to ensure we are not skipping steps, that we remain with the initial steps and deprive ourselves of the wonderful peace the last step promises us, that of releasing the whole game of condemnation from our minds. We might even be tempted to think that because we are constantly confronting our ego that we are being ‘good’ students. In other words, guilt has crept in again and are are trying to atone by our discomfort.
There is indeed a ‘bliss’ that awaits us. This Love is our natural heritage, present and available at every moment, our real reason for undertaking this course. When we realize the benefits to ourselves along the way, and give ourselves time during the day to remember this Love, we make looking at the ego a lighter and more joyful process.
PS This isn’t meant as a ‘timely’ comment because of recent posts. It’s just a thought I’ve been trying to formulate for a while, to help us all remember that Love is there for us, even as we work with the darkness, and It is our goal and right.
Perfect message Bernard.
With Gratitude and Love to you all, melody
Good reminder Bernard. It fits in perfectly with today’s Lesson, #104.
P.S. For me it once again validates the efficiency of HS …your thoughts were formulating and then at just the right time they were ready to be shared.
Bernard, thanks for re-posting “The Ego-hangover”, really useful on these dates. And your Eulogy, really great, really useful, really loving. This is so and important thing to be clear about. It is a fine line that if we are not vigilant enough we very easily fall on one of the two sides. Bliss-ninny or guilt-ninny, as Jamie once said at the Remembered Song. So it is very important that we have clear what you mentioned at the beginning: looking at our ego is the means, Love the end. It´s only when we disguise our ego as the Holy Spirit that we fall in denial, bliss-ninnyhood. Loved your last part so I am going to repeat it here: “There is indeed a ‘bliss’ that awaits us. This Love is our natural heritage, present and available at every moment, our real reason for undertaking this course. When we realize the benefits to ourselves along the way, and give ourselves time during the day to remember this Love, we make looking at the ego a lighter and more joyful process.”
Much love to all,
Lisi
Morning Latte at my bedside, its just part of the ritual. I can’t imagine doing anything before I make it. It just has to be brewed and at my side before I can open my Journey Through the Workbork or what ever Course material I happen to be reading.
[Lesson 107 today; Truth will correct all errors in my mind.]
One day the belief that I can’t start my day without coffee will be corrected…but until then I read on confident as I luxuriate in the morning brew.
Wish I could tolerate such confident egos with the same kindness as J. He’s always right there when I finally settle down and stop fussing.
Todays lesson was rather sweet. Ken starts by saying “this is a lovely lesson that contrasts truth and illusion, and even more to the point, makes clear the impossibility of our understanding truth and how happy it will make us. This is why throughout
A Course in Miracles Jesus talks to us about the reflections of truth or holiness. Strictly speaking, of course, truth and holiness exist only in Heaven.”
That line of just experiencing a reflection of the truth reminded my of the gorgeous moon last night and how as beautiful as it was – it was just a dull reflection of the Sun.
Todays lesson felt gentle to me, gentle and sweet. Making me all the more aware of the bitter after taste of what I call my sweet morning brew.
It’s a beautiful Sunday morning here- 7:30 am. The birds have finished their morning chorus. I’m sure Melody is up and trying to adjust to the 2 hour time difference waiting for the rest of California to wake up.
Nina: Good one yesterday with “Pearls before Swine” It was so funny because we all want to do the same thing. A little pressure was released in Rat being so honest (:
Does todays paper have a follow up? Rat probably just feels guilty now. Wish I could see the cartoon drawing; I imagine him being an awefully big Rat. Or is Swine just the proverbial victim in this cartoon series?
Smiles and Hugs to All
Stephan Pastis wrote somewhere that Rat and Pig are impersonates (?) of relatives. Pig was the loveliest always-thinks-good-of-everyone-person(now dead.) If you google Pearls before swine, you will get to Pastis’ blog, and can read the cartoons there. He’s GREAT when he depicts guilt and anxiety-thoughts in the night – better than Freud, is my humble opinion 🙂
Rat is small and strange. There are also some incredibly stupid crocodiles with an accent, a very intellectual goat and a worried Zebra. And a VERY aggressive war-duck! Much to enjoy and see as metaphores. AND he’s so wonderful silly. (He was a litigation-lawyer, and stopped it to pursue his life’s dream of becoming a syndicated cartoonist.
I feel like a new stage of my life has begun. I thought it had begun about 5 or 6 years ago when i sold my house to live the life of a rover. I didn`t want to be distracted with the running of a house and land, even though i understood that all things are fodder to the practising of forgiveness. I desired simplicity above all else as the background to my practice. I felt very happy about everything.
I got literally 20 minutes up the road and there i stayed….on this mountain, on this farm. Even though my teenage son assured me that he was okay, i obviously did not really feel comfortable with going off around Australia, since i found myself not going. Gradually i became aware of deep underlying stuff and i recognized my happiness was not really happiness at all.
I had already passed through my darkest days prior to that, and thought that now that i knew how to practise forgiveness, i needed nothing else. Well that was perfectly true, but in the ensuing weeks, months and years, as i discovered even deeper layers of my entirely selfish, hateful and wrong-about-everything-self, I experienced life in the survival zone, where the only safe place to be was in the blue dot, and i had to practise sometimes moment to moment. I had nothing else.
It was the only thing that gave me relief from pain and that was only because i had faith in it. Of itself it felt like nothing.
How grateful was i at the time, to have let go of all distractions. There was nothing to occupy my time, except my practice.
As time went on, the pain shifted, especially as i started associating practising forgiveness with instant joy, and i realized that i hadn`t really understood how to practise it at all before……
As the seemingly biggest chunks of pain dissolved, i resumed my normal happy disposition and went about my practice whenever things came up, usually to do with anxiety in my relationship with my youngest. It had subsided to being manageable.
But i never fooled myself about that. A slight twinge of anxiety is the same as raging river of paranoia.I kept practising. Then late last year, a series of minor events and minor revelations { about my hidden hates} happened.
As a result, i find the anxiety about my son has completely dissipated. Where once he occupied my mind a great deal together with the need to forgive that, now i seldom think of him.
Well now it`s time for me to “shoot through” as we say over here….. love you guys so much xoxoxoxoxoxo
Thanks for sharing all this Winnie, really a heartfelt post and heartfelt received. It’s beautiful your practice of the Course and is beautiful the joy with which you approach it. I loved this line “I experienced life in the survival zone, where the only safe place to be was in the blue dot, and I had to practice sometimes moment to moment. I had nothing else”.
And now you are going to have a great trip, with lots of new experiences and with mighty companions all the road.
Lots, and lots of love,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Lisi
Love ya Winnie!
Winniekins I put this reminder on a sticky- “A slight twinge of anxiety is the same as raging river of paranoia” – Have a great trip.
Like your spring flowers TexAnne.
Thanks – They’re fake – don’t tell anyone!
But they look soooo real!
🙂
LOL,LOL,LOL….
Godspeed Winnie !
I want to share my blog today.
*
18 Apr 2011
I had a wonderful dream about living in a collective for women. It was so cosy, so filled with trust and kindness and straightness, and I loved it so much.
I then woke up with a severe pain in my spleen and solar plexus. I remember Myron’s blog for lesson 107:
This morning as I read the lesson I was distracted by a fierce headache which seemed to mock my efforts to do the lesson. Finally, I stopped trying to hide from the pain and decided to embrace it as the effect of the error I have chosen to experience in the moment. I sat in the pain willing to be the “love which does not falter in the face of pain” and to trust that “truth will correct all errors in my mind.”I was not looking for a cure for the pain, or to see the pain magically disappear, but rather my intention was to be willing to “look beyond it, steadily and sure.” However, I was not disappointed that the pain did immediately fall away, and I could not help but notice what a lovely thing painlessness is. I would be willing to live without pain.
I know that the pain comes from “grabbing ego’s guilt-bag” as Jamie used to say. It looked for guilt, it was too much harmony in that dream-collective. I want to be here as the Love Who does not falter, and I am looking through this and beyond it, and remember that Truth will correct all errors in my mind.
It feels very different being present than being ego, doing its healing-things. Clear thoughts come – once again I sense the attachment to the old incarnation- me who needs my body to hide herself from insanity ( oh the first fear in the separation comes to mind – THIS is it, of course!) I am understanding it just by writing it down right now! I have attached a “me”-to it – identified with ego – no wonder I was afraid of losing the fear =”me”!
I attached a “me” to the fear, and protected it, and made it real, and tried to “therapize” it – and all I need to do, is acknowledge that it is here, and look through it and past it, as the Love Who does not falter.
Well – there is something inside holding on to that story. I am afraid that if I let go of this story, my imagination will also be lost – no more creative expressions or crazy-wise stories – no more fun! No more art!
I sense a smile inside. “The ego is telling you that you need that old horror-story you believed in, as a Son of God, to keep your creativity. Sounds like a prison, not the joy and freedom in Heaven. – You are very close to that place where you see that this horror-scene never happened in reality – it only felt like it, because you believed in what the ego was telling you about being guilty and having to hide in a body.”
I feel tremendous relieved by understanding that this horror-scenario does not belong to “Nina” – it is the experience of the Son of God, when the ego was believed in.
And now I gratefully give this belief to the Holy Spirit, to undo for me – and also all the consequences of my decision.
(And yes, the physical pain abated.)
Hey, Nina, that was a really great post. I really felt it. It also comes at a time for me when I’ve been battling with some physical pain so I can really relate! I also feel the attachment to the ol’ incarnation, as you say. It seems that taking my pain away would be taking my identity away. I can even sense something totally insane: when the pain abates, I actually wonder where it has gone and even in a perverse sense I can say that I’m looking for its return, or for the return of the drama and acute experience it provides of ‘my life’. It has been a real eye-opener for me. Lovely lines: “I attached a “me” to the fear, and protected it, and made it real, and tried to “therapize” it – and all I need to do, is acknowledge that it is here, and look through it and past it, as the Love Who does not falter.” Thanks and hugzz.
I’m catching up on Winnie’s 164, just loved it. Yes, there are so many layers for us to work through. What a lovely telling of your tale – many thanks and a big hug.
Whoa, Nina, that is very powerful. I could see that your creativity has served as a gown of survival, giving you happiness while allowing you to stay hidden and safe. Of course, it was simply your strength and the expression of your child of God-ness. And it won’t be gone when you feel safe enough not to hide. It will just be your happiness exuding freely.
I posted a question on DU and Course Talk to see if someone remembered a section I’ve been experiencing, particularly since my visit to Temecula. Of course, good ‘ol Marcy ID’d it in 2 shakes of a lamb’s tail. (Lamb of God, of course.) I think I’ll share it here, too, because I think it springs from my time and learning here.
“W-284.5 This is the truth, at first to be but said and then repeated many times; and next to be accepted as but partly true, with many reservations. 6 Then to be considered seriously more and more, and finally accepted as the truth.”
This has been happening to me lately. We all start with saying it (faking till you make it), then repeating many times, to accept as ‘partly’ true, (with wimpering tears of reservation.) But recently, I’ve found that I often think of forgiveness first and accept it automatically, and then later notice the sort-of odd lack of reservation.
I feel so not responsible for this change. Just blessed to watch it be considered seriously more and more. And it has been showing itself since spending the concentrated time with the girls in Temecula. There was the classes with Ken, and ALL the time between with friends that didn’t doubt. Like being in the heart of the blue dot, there was no chance to completely drop it when we left the door of the workshop, as Ken points out we do. Wow, mighty companions, dancing joyfully but not seriously at all.
Re: # 171 I will take my place behind Bernard and Katrina and agree that was a very insightful post. Thank you for sharing Nina.
Re: # 174 love how you share too Katrina with sensitivity and delightful wit.
Thanks Nina and Katrina really great and nice insights. Reading these posts is a good way to begin my day.
Lots of hugs
2 If only attack produces fear, and if you see attack as the call for help that it is, the unreality of fear must dawn on you. 13 For fear is a call for love, in unconscious recognition of what has been denied.
could somebody please explain the last sentence to me – say it in another way?
Darling Nina –
We are dreaming, you and me….
all of us…..
This seems to be so real, but it can’t be.
Why?
Because God is Love.
And would never let sorrow or pain or fear touch us.
So we must be mistaken.
Our fear, then is really another way of asking for Love….
We don’t even know -that we don’t know.
“The Love of God, for a little while, must still be expressed through one body to another, because vision is still so dim. You can use your body best to help you enlarge your perception so you can achieve real vision, of which the physical eye is incapable. Learning to do this is the body’s only true usefulness.”
And that’s why it’s good to forgive…. because there really is nothing to forgive!
Except the tiny, mad idea that we could ever be apart from our Source!
Love to everyone – blogs and kisses!
Tex, I love that I can actually picture and hear you say. “This seems to be so real, but it can’t be”, with the Texas looong vowel on the caaan’t.
Nina, when she finally speaks up like this, can you doubt for even a second?? I was thinking that fear is the conscious recognition that one doesn’t feel safe. The unconscious part would be that safety and love are the same, and that we ourselves denied them both. But, as Tex says, we are just mistaken, and dreaming we are analyzing this stuff most effectively.
The “fuse and merge” passage…..also fits here, and follows nicely…
“When you seem to see some twisted form of the original error rising to frighten you, say only, “God is not fear, but love”, and it will disappear.” T.18.I.7.11
Not to say it goes “poof” and collapses onto itself in a state of non-existence…
or is hurled into reality….. no – Peace to such foolishness!
No – It seems to go away, because it was never ever really there.
And we remember that instead. Just for that moment.
I’ve wanted to say this for years. Now I’ve had my chance. Thanks!
Every night for about two weeks, I have dreamed that I am being held
by someone who loves me very very much, and gently sung to…
“like a loving mother sings her child to rest!”
I wake up with all these kind words in my thoughts. Very healing.
Just in time for Easter!
Nina –
Have no explanation for that line (or at least, none that I’ll attempt in writing – maybe if we were meeting in person for a coffee by the beach (:, I might have attempted a go at it (:), but just wanted to say that it was curious (to me, at least),
that of all the lines that Bev quoted in the Mayors journal comment to Bernard, the line that you picked to ask for explanation, was the same line that caught my eye – fairly leapt off the page, as our Winniekins would say…
“For fear is a call for love, in unconcious recognition of what has been denied”…
hmmm… a very interesting line, indeed (:
love,
a
Thanks, darlings -wonderful explanations ( or “poetry” is better) ““For fear is a call for love, in unconcious recognition of what has been denied”…” it means that the dm subconsciously gets the idea that Love has been denied, and therefore calls for it by the only way it can – by being fearful ( and it is fearful because it identifies with the ego…am I on the right track here, Anne?
See Texas- we have been waiting for you to finally speak up and share the wealth of knowledge and understanding you carry. Why you felt you couldn’t share that openly years ago matters not now. So the fusion has taken form! And you have been cradled with kindness because you have allowed it to be so. That is a beautiful Easter story (: The Hope and Good News that Jesus wants to share with us is just a choice away it has always been a choice away.
And Bev in post #7 back at the Mayors journal I haven’t a doubt you experiencing peace of mind and deep gratitude was most definitely a consequence of applying the course principles. I like reading your posts because they always have a beginning a middle and an end. You show the whole process, which is steadfast and vigilant. I’m still working on that. I know Ken wants us to be even more efficient and just go for the “Nothing Happened” approach; he’s sooooo Radical and yet one would never guess by looking at him 🙂 Form can be so decieving (:
Just had a vision of Ken on a Harley leading us on a Love ride.( an annual fund raiser here in L.A.) That would be so cool! I totally see Richard wearing his leather jacket with a Radical Forgiveness emblem emboidered on the back. Send in your pictures boys!
Annie, now I want a motorcyle!!
motor cycle. They’ll never let me drive if I can’t even spell it.
Ah, Tex, what can a guy say? That was absolutely loverly! Again! Do it again, and again! And more dreams like that one, too!
I forgot to add my word of appreciation to Bev’s sharing the other day that I so enjoyed. It’s always so nice to hear about stories when this stuff really works. Ah, just a little more peacefulness and quiet in our minds.
Annie, I so love these kinds of posts of yours. I don’t often say it but I really enjoy your way of supporting all of us, and adding that special original touch. And “Rad Forgiveness” – what a cool idea. I thought maybe we could all start calling ourselves “Forgivarians” in honor of the radically different food we are learning to feed ourselves.
Anni, to 182…as a musician, would it be possible to remember that tune the “one” is singing to you? you could tape on your marvelous cell-phone…or video it 🙂
Wonderful insightful posts, everyone and with some humor involved too! Tex, what a beautiful way you articulated Nina’s question – thank you! I agree, Bernard – Annie is so supportive of all of us and yes, in a very original way!
Wonderful coming home to these~
With Gratitude and Love to all of you,
melody 🙂
For everyone on all the pages– Two Thumbs-Up (-:
Hi everybody, ditto Pam. Great posts. Thanks Tex for such a beautiful answer, and thanks for sharing your beautiful and comforting dream.
Hugs to all
Wow guys! I`ve just caught up on the last 25 posts or so and what can i say….
I enjoyed reading your great post #171 Nina….boy you sure are having some wonderful dreams lately.
I am listening to the Vienna Boys Choir singing
“oh death where is thy sting”…..on account of it being Easter Sunday night…I got me some vegies cooking away on my little stove and i`m all tucked up cosy in my lil campervan reading all these wonderful posts. It must be about 6 months or more since i have had the internet on “at home”.
Now where was i?
Katrina i too love your wit and sensitivity…..and your gravatar – makes me long for the sea…. Is it a view from your place?
I love hearing about your process and the way you phrase things like Nina`s “gown of survival”…Oh and speaking of wit, Texy dear your #179 was just perfect – blogs and kisses to you too… so nice that you are having wonderful dreams as well…
Bernard ditto about Annie`s kind words of support for all of us
love to Lisi and Pam and Melody and A* and all xoxoxo
yaY, Winnie !! (: re: Internet thingy, etc, etc (:
ps. Your Easter dinner sounds lovely !!
Winnie, er, how many can you fit in your campervan for Easter din-dins? I think there’s only about 15 of us. Is that too many? We’ll all bring something, promise. Okay, if we have to, we’ll spread out tablecloths and blankets on the ground and eat outside. How’s the weather? What’s everyone going to bring?
I didn’t realize that the official birth date of the Village was so close to Easter. Does this mean there is a real resurrection theme here somewhere?
Winnie and Bernard, yes yes yes I am in! bringing lots of Yogi Teas – Sweet Chili is my favorite these days – and a lambroast to those who can eat that, stuffed with parsley and garlic,,,and a pleated wreath of some yellow bell-like flowers, called Mary’s keys in Norwegian -and – and — some white fluffy wool skins we can sit on – and – here i am!
I didn’t realize that you all celebrate Easter on Sunday – we celebrate it here on Monday!! So, HAPPY EASTER, everyone!! Sorry I didn’t even think of photos. I’ll try to work something out, but make no promises. Lots to do at the moment. Hugzzzz.
Happy Easter Sunday & Monday Lovely and Loved Village People XOXOX Michele
Happy Easter to all the Village People. A great day to you all.
Lots of hugs and best wishes!!!