Fireside I
It is to the Village Square that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom. Then when their minds have been filled, they retire to the tavern on the western side of the square where they share in social discussion, learning of each other’s events and challenges, happinesses and sometimes sadnesses, too. With a mug or glass in hand, they collect in front of the great Fireplace that dominates the long wall. Benches and chairs are often filled on market day with those who have come from farther away, bringing news of events and views the local people delight in hearing.
If you are feeling disoriented by all the philosophical talk by the fountain in the Village Square, then come sit down on the bench here with us for a while just to soothe your mind and share a mug of tea or coffee. Let’s all make sure the conversation is quiet and simple, caring and thougtful, exactly the kind of talk you might have around a warm hearth, the only light filling the room coming from the fireplace.
Maybe too much partying …I’m awake here at 1:15 in the morning. I may as well start cleaning up the place.
Let me be the first to say that Jamie has always had a very big piece of my heart. Why I had this need to feel his presence here is something I will be exploring; suffice it to say that it’s all good.
Ditto all that Bernard´s said. I know, too, Jamie is an important healing, loving and learning presence in my life, right to the end. Thanks Jamie for giving us this wonderful opportunity to witness and then to experience we are just one and the same.
Much, much love, Lisi
{{{{{Jamie}}}}}
I was so enjoying Katrina’s party on Sunday that I knew I would have to TIVO the Emmy Awards and watch them later. So even though I already knew who the winners were I still like to experience that moment of when everyone believes they are a winner…before the moment of separation and the choice is revealed who will be the special one in this moment of now. The blessing of TIVO is that the endurance of such madness can be reduced to 20 minutes as opposed to 3 hours of fluff and commercials. I would assume one could compare it to what most drug users call mainlining…for some of us TV junkies this has secured our addiction and allowed us to pretend we haven’t a problem. So you can imagine my delight when Abbott Pacino shows up to give his 40 second acceptance speach. I swear I thought he would give a shout out to you katrina and send you some happy birthday wishes (; (can you see how I blend my worlds together?)
Anywho…How appropriate I thought that on the day we hear from Jamie we also get a few words from his fearless leader…the day really was choreographed to perfection.
In case you don’t know the TV movie that brought another award home for this awesome brother I shall tell you……wait for it…….
“You don’t know Jack”
I swear I’m not making this up!
Annie, laughing out loud — I had forgotten about Abbott Pacino from the cliffhanger Trapped Monk. I always have some Ken CD’s in the car, and my husband used to grouse when they would start playing. But once I told him it was Al Pacino talking, he started listening to them.
I loved the poems from you and Nina, and the pixie dust from Winnie and Pam! Yes, those crazy SLO life folks DO usually have a monthly contest for something. Cal Poly grads who work out a way to live there permanently are a competitive bunch, as long as laughter is part of it. Too bad I didn’t catch the cupcake one – but our treats here are better for me.
Hugs, Katrina
Re the”Lighting a candle”-room on the former Monastery:
Since Jamie removed this from his new site, I felt a deep grief – I really have enjoyed the sacred space in this lighted cave, and the Love it is filled with – and the possibility to send and receive love in this beautiful way.
so I have opened the possibility on my blog. I have just mailed everyone whose mailaddress I have – and for Murill, Zenbear, Zafu and others here who’s mail i don’t have – if you want to light a candle for your fellow Course-students or others, you can mail me and get a link. My mail is
leelah and the number 11 and the at-sign, then gmail dot com
just click on “Light a candle” in the right menu
the group initials are YES ( LOVE was taken already :-))
All my LOVE to you
Nina/Little sister
hi nina –
didn’t realize that the candle room was so deeply symbolic for you. will certainly visit your site, and light a candle there.
love,
a
Hello anil…still on that working vacation…not working and not vacationing….I’m still trying to figure you out (:
hi annie (:
yep, am trying to figure myself out too (: – let me know when you have some insights (:
lots of love (we’re in brazil now with shobha’s brothers family)
a
I like you just the way that you are! Enjoy your family connections and do let me know when you pass thru LA …I’ll drive down to the airport and hang with you while you wait for your next connecting flight. (:
It’s someone’s birthday we all love today. I hope I’m remembering how she spells her name so apologies if I haven’t got it right.
Debbie..aka Debbie of the Grotto or DOG aka Mother Superior from the Monastery of the Mists.
Happy Birthday Debbie! You have and will always have a part of my heart!
I love you!
I just discovered it this am looking at my birthday book or I would have given proper notice to Bernard so we could have her featured in the Birthday gallery today.
Happy, happy birthday, Debbi. We love thinking you are reading from the northwest woods overlooking France from the beautiful expanse of Puget Sound.
I was just thinking of you this morning, and all the time and love you channeled into our giggling whispers. I thought that having 13 grandchildren must give you many Facebook pages and emails to receive the tender caring and funny quips that pop up in your mind — seeming always to be there in your right mind with Jesus. May you be spending this day with all of their grinning faces shining up at you. Love and hopping hugs, katrina
Michele, to find the birthday gallery just go the AcimVillage “button” at the top of the page and in the drop down go to galleries and a second drop down menu will list the different galleries by name.
Annie – Which LA airport is closest to you ? (I hear there are several ?)
ps. Michele – I’m with Anne, keep giving you an extra L in your name. Perhaps i should write lots of posts addressed to you to practice typing out your name (:
night, all.
a
anil: I am 20 minutes from LAX (Los Angeles International Airport) and 20 minutes from Burbank Airport now called Bob Hope Airport. So it would be so easy for me to meet up with you or any Villager that is traveling. In fact, I would be a little upset if I found out one of you passed thru and didn’t give me a ring. I don’t care if you only have 30 minutes btwn connecting flights and they don’t let me pass security…I will wave to you from the other side of the partition and blow you kisses to ensure the next leg of you trip was safe and wonderful. This is my job as part of hospitality…this is what I do best, so please do not think it would be an inconvenience. The only reason I would not be able to provide this is I have to be at work. You are family to me and I am fierce about loving my family. Nothing is too big or too little its all doable.
Hi Annie –
LAX is certainly quite likely to happen sometime. (Not sure when, but my gut feel is that it will (:
And I have a valid US visa that is good till 2013 – so no worries, I’ll make sure that I have much more than 30 minutes, and we can have a coffee at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks (Starbucks, if we want to also raise a toast to Katrina (:
Your love for your Village family shines through so clearly – I am grateful that I ended up part of it, though I had little or no idea that this was where it would all lead when I first started reading acimmonk, way back when.
Yesterday I was indeed in a playful mood, today still so, with just a touch more depth to it. I think Course thoughts are beginning to work their magic in my sleep – I can see fragments of different statements from the Blue Book floating in my mind, even as I’m half asleep. This is quite an astonishing path, and it continues to get more and more interesting the longer I stay with it.
Brazil is a very relaxing place for me – were it not for Shobha’s desire to see more of the world, I think I would be happy to settle down here this very year. Perhaps it’s because everyone only speaks Portuguese (sp?) on the streets, and everywhere, and I don’t have to say anything.
I can just relax and be silent and still participate in the daily activities of normal life. Even my neice and nephew only speak Portuguese, so the bulk of the conversations in the home are also in the same language. (except when I’m speaking to Shobha or her brother – when English makes its rare presence felt)
I think I like being a foreigner. What does that say about me being here in the world ? That I don’t want to go home (or wake up to my True Home) ? or that I feel at home everywhere ? (:
I don’t know (: And that’s OK (:
Lots of love,
a
You are one cool dude anil…chillin and lovin…lovin and chillin.
I think it says you want to experience it all from every possible side and you don’t have the desire or need to pick it apart because that would take away from the authenticity of the moment. I’m guessing you ask for the highest and the best this world has to offer and then are so grateful for whatever shows up. I would liken you to a gymnasist on the uneven bars; you just seem to fly from one level to the next. You dismount, land on both feet and your smile says that was awesome…lets do it again!
That’s what I feel when I read your posts, if I am totally wrong about my feelings please do not correct me. ::giggles::
Just saw a program with the old Leonard Cohen who talked about his song-writing. He talked about a song and said: “It’s called the Traitor.It’s about the feelings we have about the mission we were mandated to fulfill, and being unable to fulfill it, and then coming to understand that the real mandate was not to fulfill it, and the deeper courage was to stand guiltless in the predicament in which you found yourself.”
I think I have been waiting for this sentence since I came to earth(sorta)
Whoa Nina…excellent line indeed. Be in the world but not of it.”It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary.” I think that is exactly what anil was trying to describe when calling himself a foreigner. Off to go listen to some Leonard Cohen, thanks for the tip.
For me, Anil’s line in 716 ” I think I like being a foreigner.”,evokes the feeling that this isn’t home and when I’ve had enough I’ll go back Home. I’m not a permanent resident here no matter how much it seems like it somedays. Whew!
Nina, Think Leo might be a Course student? (-;
Leo would not be a Course student, he is a zen-monk ( well I mean he was in a zen-monastery fro a LONG time.) I earlier subscribed to Shambhala Sun, a great Buddhist magazine, and there he told about his stay and his path.
In the program I saw yesterday, I think it was called “I
m your man” he told us that the earliest kind of poetry he loved was the kind that was sung in psalms – and i think he said “in Church” – he said he got chills the first time he heard them sung – beautiful, hm? but strange that a Jew should go to church and not the synagogue.
once I was going up our main avenue in Oslo – Carl Johan – and as i was crossing the street I was feeling chills, – my energysystem does that to me, when there is someone with a B I G aura nearby. Passing some tables outside a restaurant,6 feet away, there was Cohen, sitting drinking coffee in the sun in dark black suit and a black hat, with two young women. My heart started beating before i saw who that was – and as I passed, his energyfield eneveloped my like a sweet embrace. Part of that embrace was the energy of the Buddhist tradition, which I know and love – and of these deep places where he gets his poems from – truly inspired as they are, many of them.
Al,
If you come online, maybe you will see this .?. Are you are affected by this quake? My thoughts are with you, seeing stillness all about and beneath you
{======== Al and Jimmy Zack =========}
love, katrina
Annie’s gymnast on the uneven bars made me smile. And came into my mind after I turned in for the night. But my mind was clear, not foggy or sleepy in the least – and the gymanst in white kept going, on the uneven bars. The ease with which he manipulated his body contrasted sharply with the heaviness I generally feel in mine.
But I did get a sense last night – that my grievances are falling away, leaving my mind much lighter than before. My life is getting much more normal than before, and that’s also a good thing. The search for “peak” experiences, for blinding truths, and powerful ah-ha moments has given way to more subtle, yet simple shifts in my thinking. Something leads my mind forward, something else pulls it back – the forward pulls last for such little snaps of time, the backward pulls linger for hours.
And yet, the forward pulls seem to be winning – I distinctly feel myself moving into more clarity. Being able to write in this forum (and unfortunately bore many of you (: ) seems to be part of this opening up.
I’ve been asking my wife how many thoughts in a day can the human mind hold. Last night, as I lay in bed, the gymnast turning loops on the bars, I asked her again – she laughed, and said it was the fourth time in 2 years I had asked her.
I had always thought that about 70,000 thoughts a day were the limit – this was based on a pure mathematical kind of calculation of the number of wakings seconds in a day, and a rather simplistic assumption of 1 thought per second.
But last night, as my wife laughed, and I rephrased my question to whether she thought we could have more than one thought per second, it became clear.
Yes, of course, one can have more than 1 thought a second. Perhaps the limit is more like 6-8 thoughts a second, maybe even 10 thoughts in a second, if one were actually to get a clock and simultaneusly observe one second tick by, and how many images flash through one’s mind in that little dot of time.
Where is all this leading ? (: Well, if there are more than 700,000 thoughts a day I can have during my waking hours, and I’m reasonably sure that I’m only thinking right-minded thoughts for no more than 10 times a day, that’s well below 0.01 % of all my daily thoughts. A penny in a pile of 70,000 dollars.
And yet that penny’s worth of “true” thoughts a day can have such a magnificent impact on my peace of mind. I can hardly imagine what happens as thinking “true” becomes a way of life each day.
{{Al and Jimi Zack}}
Anil that is so NOT boring.
A penny for your thoughts (: Shobha had me smiling. Ditto Pam #725
And the last two lines are a sweet and happy thought.
I feel our bodies are just a barometer…when my thinking is clear and what I deem to be right minded thoughts I get frustrated that I have to lug this body around because I wish to move so much faster. But when I’m thinking heavy thoughts I relish sitting on my couch and watching the wind move the leaves and branches outside my window I feel no need to move. The part that confuses me is that sometimes I feel like I’m clear minded and want to do nothing and other times I’m absolutely heavy and wanting out of my skin. I’m going in circles here …I thought I had a point to make. And when that happens I pull out the ole “God Is” and that clears my mental chatter…and then the cycle repeats itself.
I love the idea that the grievances as starting to fall. A trail of useless thoughts left behind. I too feel we are walking home together and making progress each day. It’s Labor Day weekend here in the States let us leave our labouring and burdens behind us.
xoxo
Annie
Anil, about the thoughts…for some years i followed a teaching from “Bartholomew” – a channeled teacher coming to a Buddhist woman. he has written many books which I love -and on one workshop I attended when “he” was in Copenhagen, “he” told us that science had really found how many thoughts we have each day – AND that about 98% of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday….
so whenever I catch I though I never had before (rarely) I am thrilled!
(About being a scribe and channel – it was fascinating to look at Mary-Margaret More ( I think her name was) before and after Bartholomew came in. The room’s atmosphere shifted, we all looked at each other and started to smile and smile – we all recognized how it feel to come Home – to really wake up. Oh that feeling of simplicity and kindness and humor. So precious.
I love that you come to my blog and light candles. It feels wondrous that I am kinda in charge of it – it is on my “property” – I see it as a warm and big cave with all these little niches with candles burning – and when i go around in the cave, I visit the niches a get a whiff of all your energies – all these flavors of love.
And right now I am going to sit in the sun and eat salad with fresh mint from my garden. Today my niece, who is also one of my very best friends, is visiting, and for a loner like me that is precious.
{{{Everybody}}}
Nina
Anil, thanks so much for your post. I loved this part: “The search for peak experiences, for blinding truths and powerful ah-ha moments,has given way to more subtle, yet simple shifts in my thinking.” So important in this Course. That´s solely what Jesus is asking for, “simple shifts in our thinking”. He is asking for a little, little part of our thoughts and in change he is giving us his peace and experience of love. What a wonderful path we have embarked in. And when we begin to understand all this at last we begin to rest in his arms.
Lots of hugs and much love to all,
Lisi
I just saw this on Jamies site. How wonderful.Want to share it to everybody here.
Love to all
Nina
“The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.”
Edwin H Freidman
Thanks for sharing Nina: I’m in a constant attitude adjustment mode…not a punishment just a correction (geez where have I heard that before). That is why I love coming here playing with you. My attitude is so in my face when I see it on black and yellow and then I make the correction (or I at least see what I need to correct) so I can move on. I like starting my day with an attitude adjustment.
Speaking of adjustments I told my husband in my next life I will marry a chiropractor so I can get adjustment when I need them (he’s a physical therapist and doesn’t give chiropractors much credit) I think they are great healers and are very under appreciated. Plus I have this kink in my neck that has not let me go and I feel a good twist of my neck would release the tension. Who wants to do exercises to releave the tension.???? I want someone else to fix the problem…sounds like I need an attitude adjustment. But don’t tell Mark (my husband) that I said that.
Sending Love to all and a special heartfelt hug to all in the land of Aotearoa.
Have a great day,
Annie
Thanks, Lisi –
I do agree that the Teacher of the Course is a most kind and loving guy. Unfortunately, I am having severe resistance to his name, but only in a personal context. When talking about him, or when thoughts about him appear in my mind, in an impersonal way, I’m totally fine with it, but when I think of Jesus as the term applies to me, well, then, that’s a whole different story !! (:
A while back, I could use the phrase “holy spirit” without provoking much of a reaction – now I find, I can’t use that phrase either without breaking into some discomfort (:
Perhaps it’s my early years growing up in a predominantly Hindu land, or something !! (: Anyway, I move on, referring just to different parts of my mind, which is where all the action is anyway, right ?
And I think I can still use the word “spirit” just fine – but with the way things are going, perhaps that word will go on the anti””-list also before long.
Oh well (: – let’s talk about something else (:
Like that quote, Nina – agree it’s really quite a remarkable one.
Especially for me, since I was one of those who believed that insights are all that it took to change/progress/etc. I used to get quite irritated with friends who insisted that the tone of the conversation was important, just as important as the message. It’s only now that I am able to truly appreciate that value of feeling and speaking kindly about everyone and everything.
As Edwin says “people can only hear you when they are moving towards you, …….not…. when your words are pursuing them”. Wise words indeed.
“night all.
a
Hi, family! I’m back, but haven’t had time to get through all your messages yet. We had a great few days camping in my van on the Bordeaux coast. They closed Pat’s kiddie center for the last few days, so we were on ‘forced’ vacation! So now the big ‘return’ starts, and everyone’s back at school and back at work. I’ll try to get to reading all your comments today. Hope everyone is well and spending just a few lil minutes a day feeling cosy and loved, just at the precise moment when they think things are going crazy, or the toaster isn’t working, or someone cut in front of them, or… Will write more tomorrow. Hmm. Better get back and write something as the Mayor sometime. He is one lazy chap, have to say.
Welcome home Bernard. A forced vacation…I think you create some very challenging circumstances for yourself! And you sure know just what to do when that happens, head for the coast! How excellent. Please take a picture of your van and post it for us…I like visuals, in fact, I would like to see zenbears white whale and winnie’s caravan and a picture of Nina’s garden where she grows her mint. And don’t get me started on anil still not committing to a gravatar! Unless you are waiting for a picture of your firstborn there could be no other excuse. (I’ll accept an ultrasound picture) Sheesh, I’m getting myself all worked up for no good reason…I haven’t been up for even an hour and I’ve mentally prepared a laundry list of what would make me happy. It’s no wonder I’m exhausted before noon.
Speaking of exhausting I hope I haven’t worn down anyone with my daily postings? I know I stick to the social chatting for the most part not that I find one can truly separate the Course wisdom from the chopping of wood routines of our lives. But I really would like to get to know some of you more intimately. What your daily surroundings are like, how you settle yourselves down, what makes you laugh. There is nothing that is mundane for me. I have really enjoyed your post lately anil. The way your mind reflects on a thought and then sets it down and moves on. And all those smiles in your postings. Is there always a smile on your face? I just imagine there is because its ever present in your writing. And yet I get a feeling that you are often in deep thought. I can just see Shobha laughing and saying that you have asked her the same question now for the past few years…that was a sweet moment!
I did want to ask you anil if its not too personal on what your conversations with your wife are re: what Faith you will raise your child? You touched on how being raised a Hindu may be a reason why some words fall into the ‘anti’ category. I myself struggled with that when I found out I was pregnant. That was about the same time I came across the teachings of Ernest Holmes and my world was shattered (in a good way of course). But I had this distinct feeling of dread and anger about the timing of such a discovery. The physical changes my body was going thru were simutaneously corresponding to the changes taking place in my mental field. I was birthing a new belief and I was confused for a solid 10 years on what archetypal symbols I should share with my baby to help her build a spiritual vocabulary and to help her navigate in this world. There were many times I wished I had not strayed from my Catholic upbringing because it would have been so much simpler. I know everything works out for the best. I have two very kind children who have no need for any organized religion and I can honestly say that I still don’t know if I have served them or failed them. Time will tell. Any thoughts anyone?
xoxo
Annie
Nuthin wrong with being “lazy” Bernard. In fact I think it is a much better thing to be so called lazy than to be a work-aholic. That adage about “Idle hands are the devil’s tools.” just strikes me as being an ego ploy to keep our mind distracted, disturbed and feeling guilty because if one stopped working and thinking about work you might accidently let your mind be still and see the insanity more clearly.(-:
Dear Anil, you write Unfortunately, I am having severe resistance to his name,
it struck me that that is not unfortunately – it is something that comes up for you to notice and forgive, and that ego judges. And so i forgive the same in me: thinking of Him as jesus is easy for me – but when I mention His name to others, the aoouchhes come inside, because automatically I get all these different projections on me from people who have their impression of who Jesus is.
I heard from Al yesterday – she and Jimy-Zac is fine, the quake was 600km away – but her repaired-to-be PC was there too…so now she mails sporadicly from the library.
I am having more and more stiffening in muscles around the neck. Very painful, feels constricting. And the veils between the different dimensions are thinning for me – so at time far too much information and content from other levels are coming through, and doctors would call it hallucinations – but I know what is truth and what is illusion, so I can look at it and when i don’t like I tell it to go away and forgive it, and it does. There’s a lot to do with hypothyreosis too – hormonal balances seems to have a lot of power, at least in their power to zonk me out.
veeery tired
needing hugs
Nina
Welcome Bernard, we really missed you here, but I am sure your “forced vacation” left you a good balance inside. When we are out of home, we have the time to see things we usually hide with our daily tasks. Waiting to read something from our “lazy” Mayor. And I am with Pam it´s good to be lazy and stop all the ego chatting and just listen.
Annie, you never wear down anybody with your posts. They are great. They are an experience of joy rather than just some written lines. First thing in the morning: I drink my coffee reading Annie´s ponderings. About your question, as you I was raised as a Catholic, but when I had my children the course of my life was in another direction, so up to this day mine as yours have no need for any organized religion, and in the future they will decide what is best for them.
{{{Nina}}}
Lots of hugs and much love to all. Lisi
Hello, my dear friends –
Where do I start ? (: Yes, Annie, most often (if not always) the moment I smile, I tend to capture that on the written form with that symbol. And I do like to smile a lot, and I do like to think a lot too. (btw, I have often wondered like you did, whether my daily posts are getting a bit much, but I think both you and I can be assured that at least for Nina, Pam, Lisi and Bernard, they tend to be useful, or at least, just fine).
It is also impossible for me to separate my daily life from reflections on the Course, so I guess you and I will be be Fireside regulars (; (and Nina, I have to digress here for a minute, because your stiff neck feels like a really tough situation, and I do hope that all our love here and elsewhere will have some effect, tangible or otherwise. The thought of a simple massage routine, just to relieve some of the physical symptoms, but perhaps you’ve already gone that route, and I do agree, that the relief is often so temporary that it doesn’t seem worth it to go for the treatment. Well, regardless of what happens, lots of love and more love to you)
Annie, on the religion topic, my parents never really forced me to follow any religion. Nor did we have any religious talks in the home. My mother would go to the temple often (and would light a lamp at home every day). Sometimes she would ask my sister and me to pray with her, and we of course accompanied her to the temple. But I went to Jesuit schools, sang in the school choir, and went to church regularly with my Christian friends on holidays, and special masses. So really it was quite a non-religious setting.
Fast forward to now, and my spouse does not believe God exists. She has an advanced degree in Astrophysics, is possibly one of the kindest people I know, but has no religious inclinations at all. Not even any inclination towards anything spiritual, in reading or discussions. We have not talked about how to raise the child, but I think it’s a pretty good bet that neither of us are worried about it for now, and plan to just move forward and tackle the young un’s questions in as secular a fashion as we can. I think both she and I believe in the value of kindness, and that should suffice, perhaps ?
For me, my wife was/is one of my greatest teachers. Because when we first met, I was insufferablly full of the Course metaphysics, believing that it was the answer to all mankind’s questions. I felt it my duty to talk about it all the time, I worried about those who didn’t want to talk about it, etc, etc. (I think I wrote a longish post on this many moons ago – that I had forgotten that my sole responsibility was to accept the Atonement for myself).
One day, she said that she didn’t want to hear any of my lectures anymore. A shocking moment !! (: But I can smile about it now. It recedes in the mists of time, but it was only 3 years ago.
As the Course has filtered more into my “bones”, so to speak, I find myself completely without any desire to talk about it, except for this did-I-say-amazing corner of the Web (:, where I can come and chat with all of you.
I think what I take away from my first three years of marriage, and getting to know my wife better, is that the belief (or non-belief) in God is very deep. One either has it, or one doesnt’. (Of course, at the deepest level of existence, then everyone has it, or everyone is it, one would imagine) – but at the level that we live, and converse in this world, it is very difficult to bridge the gap between the two camps of thinking.
I think there is perhaps a third camp as well, who don’t know either way. And I think I fall in that camp. I can’t be sure there is a God, but I’m equally unable to say definitively that God does not exist. This creates a kind of “delicious” state of not-knowing. Of living in a mystery, which seems to suit my kind of living.
I would love to be able to first-hand “experience” God, but I’m not obsessed with it either. If it happens, it will be wonderful. If it doesn’t, there are still many things left for me to think about, and explore on this path to what seems like Infinity.
Well, this has turned into a longish post. And Pam, I agree with you 100% that the “doing” all day keeps us distracted from looking inwards. A pretty good ploy to prevent us from finding the real way out of here into Heaven.
Take care, all. love and hugs, dear friends.
a
Wow! Anil,that is beautiful!
Nina, Thanks for letting us know that Al and Jimi-Zac are O.K.
I love to listen to you, Anil and Annie, each day – cutting and carrying your wood, along with the thoughts that run thru your mind.
Pam: re: #734 That takes me back to a feeling I had as a small child when I became upset by a reading in the Bible where I felt Jesus was not being fair…or just could have said it a bit kinder. (like we will all help you Martha just sit with us for a while)
Martha and Mary are visited by Jesus (Luke 10:38-42)
Martha and Mary offered hospitality to their friend Jesus, a respected but somewhat controversial Jewish rabbi. Mary sat and listened to him as he talked, but Martha objected to the fact that she was left with all the work. Jesus told Martha not to worry about small things, but to concentrate on what was important.
I often thought I would be super pissed at Jesus if he said that to me. In fact, I still do as a women even though I get it intellectually. Thank God for take out; that’s no longer an issue in the 21st century. But still you can see it would be the girls setting the table and cleaning up afterwards (well at least in my world).
Repeats mantra****I am not a body*****I am not a body
Hugs for {{{Nina}}}. You are always good at asking for what you need when you need it. Sorry about our time difference and I hope today is already better.
xoxo
Annie
Lisi I love you dearly. Tell me how many children do you have? Do they live at home? nearby? How did you find the Course? So many questions I have for you. I shall stop there and when you have a little time and feel inclined please do share. Lots of love always.
Just saw Inception for the second time. First time, it was the anti-gravity that moved me so – this time, it is the scene close to the end, where the son stands before the door to his memory of his dying father, who has said he is disappointed . On the door are numerous locks – they look like x-es. The boy touched the door lightly at one place 8 a lot of subconscious protection is mowed down before this (: and then, we see all the locks open at the same time.
I get a wonderful chill when i write this – “all the locks open at the same time -“
Anil: I don’t know where to begin other than keep those posts coming. I love the openess and the connecting without knowing why we are doing so other than it just feels right. Where on the globe are you today? What languages fill the streets that you are walking?
I have a feeling your mothers lamp lighting rituals continue to protect you wherever you go.
Big Hugs and Big Smiles from your Sister Annie
Katrina: Firstly, I didn’t even know New Zealand had an earthquake until I read your post. I like how you watch over us, something very comforting about that. I have always sensed your motherly instincts of keeping us all connected. I suspect you are an empath and tend to carry other peoples pain because you can. Because you know how. I have a feeling that some of the daily challenges regarding your physical pain are because you have that skill. A gift and a burden all at the same time. I don’t know why I needed to tell you that other then I wish I could love that B I G. You are truly a gift to this community.
Much love to you today,
Annie
Nina…hope your neck is feeling much better today. I sent Al an email and was going to report her OK report and see it here already.
Anil…i’m still kinda of Course evangelist, in the sense I do like to turn folks who like to have an inner spirituality in thier lives and are interested in creating more inner peace for themselves onto it as a choice to check out and then leave it at that. I know that it’s simply accepting it for myself that it’s all about.
One you mentioned Shobha takes great pics, would you ask her, if you feel comfortable doing so, if she would make a gravatar for you?
love learning she’s an advanced astrophyicist…i know i missspelled it but have to dash for now
love your daily post and love to all around the village
Annie,
You are so delightfully kind. I need to mention that i’ve been sort of turning a corner healthwise. I was very paranoid about chemo for this auto-immune condition, thinking the toll it takes would be just as bad. Some of that is still uncool, but the magic meds could be working – to pull me out of bed at least. It’s not that i feel lots more energy, but when i look back at a week, i see where i just automatically got up and did some things i had to forgive not having the energy to do before. I would be a mental basket case if it weren’t for loving the Course so, and having it to help me deal with the impatience i would be having with myself in this cocoon of an energy vacuum.
Anil, i experience the strangeness of the ‘Names’, too. I was a suspicious catholic child, and my first spiritual hopes/ beliefs were from meditation, and the eastern teachings of the vedas and buddhism — really brought to the u.s. by, first, the beatles, then ram dass, parmahansa, etc. But, as Annie and Nina say, just looking at that odd feeling is plenty. J, HS, any name is just a symbol of the presence of Love. i would think that Krishna is also a perfect symbol. if the Course had been written in India, i suppose the Voice would have been Krishna trying to clarify/correct his earlier 10,000 yr old teachings. Hop on the chariot, Arjuna, let’s take a look at the ego in action.
Annie, i don’t know if i’m as empath – oh, but i did get an ‘E’ in that section of the personality test – like Bill Thetford, i recall, from Carol Howe’s wonderful book. Now, i just try to remember that i feel another’s ‘pain’ to convince myself that pain is real, and my real function is to forgive the impression it is real for ‘both’ of us.
Nina, i hope your neck is feeling better — i have a stiffness there, too – {see above}. Thank you so much for news that Al and Jimi-Zac are fine. Since i came home a few years ago from work and found that my home had been snapped around like a matchstick and everything smashed, and the aftershocks, has terrified me for years, i am especially concerned about loved ones being in these. Man, i really worked my Course during that time, but in the moment, the terror of the sudden smack and relentless shaking makes you think you have been thrown right out of heaven!
Nina, i’m looking forward to the 2nd viewing of Inception. My favorite scene was right after the one you described – when the son realizes he’s been completely wrong all along, and he is, and HAS BEEN, so completely loved by his father. What a beautifully inspired message the writer/director delivered there.
Annie, it’s just awaiting the right timing, and i will be ambling down El Camino Real to come see you. I keep checking the Temecula schedule, my husband’s fishing schedule, my after school pickup schedule (and backup), and weighing it with my energy quotient, to find my trip to LA, a mere 4 hrs away. We can sip coffee and talk about our kids and our Course. I will love it.
Please forgive my quiet lapses, i just often think sending quiet loving is just as good. Anil and Bernard and Michele are filling me with all their travel energy – something i loved doing when i was up and at ’em. Annie and Pam and Nina and Anne and LTS and Kendall (and all!) surge me with the day to day work they so faithful keep at. I don’t know if i suddenly got to old to do it, or if it was just time to sit down and watch for awhile. i think i’m getting younger every day, now that i’m feeling better. And my son’s illness is in remission, also. Now, if America could find one more job for a college grad — it’s so hard to watch them be so confident and hopeful, and then staring into a vacuum. I can just assume that things are not as they seem, and take up the job of seeing they each have their own enlightenment path, all i need is patience and faith, i think.
Bright sun shiny day hugs, katrina
{{Lisi}} – your faithful and loving posts of your experiences and strength of faith are not to go unmentioned or unappreciated. I really appreciated the comments you would post after Jamie’s classes. We’d love to hear them here if you feel inspired.
love, katrina
Today I had a loving conversation with an old friend I had unfinished business with.
We discovered that there was a misunderstanding between two small children – us – who had not learned to give clear signals about needs. All my grievances disappeared, as tenderness grew and opened into a vast loving space between us. Nothing to forgive: just something to be tender about.
A little while later, the doorbell rang. Outside stood a young boy, origin from some southern islands I think – collecting money for a School-project.
It was Jesus. It was pure Grace standing there. No teenager speaks like he did: each word clearly spoken with space about it. His eyes calmly meeting mine – no agendas, not selling anything – just showing up as Love.
I was vaguely aware that this was extraordinary and a blessing. I searched for money and gave him what I found – I wanted to find more and more money, to keep him standing there, looking at me with these calm and loving eyes. He told me that the money was for educating midwives someplace in Africa. Inside me there was a voice who said “don’t leave don’t leave don’t leave” – as if This could leave at all.
This cannot be lost.
I can choose to lose it
but It can not be lost
and I am aware of a sacred space where we are eternally dancing –
Now, in the mental chaos that visits me at night,
I will remember
Who visited me
and Whom I received