Fireside I
It is to the Village Square that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom. Then when their minds have been filled, they retire to the tavern on the western side of the square where they share in social discussion, learning of each other’s events and challenges, happinesses and sometimes sadnesses, too. With a mug or glass in hand, they collect in front of the great Fireplace that dominates the long wall. Benches and chairs are often filled on market day with those who have come from farther away, bringing news of events and views the local people delight in hearing.
If you are feeling disoriented by all the philosophical talk by the fountain in the Village Square, then come sit down on the bench here with us for a while just to soothe your mind and share a mug of tea or coffee. Let’s all make sure the conversation is quiet and simple, caring and thougtful, exactly the kind of talk you might have around a warm hearth, the only light filling the room coming from the fireplace.
Annie ( calling, not whispering in italics) right now dizzy, like after a boxing fight ( which i have had many of, of course (lying) – I “regressed” to praying to archangel Michael to intervene for me re the darkie, and felt immediately great relief – and then i felt bad, since i am not supposed to ask for help of him, since he is part of the illusion, and we are not supposed to mix, right…but I needed that relief, and maybe Jesus will understand (: – I have so had enough of this, and Michael is trustworthy helper for me, and has done strange and wonderful things for me in the material world ( jfr. the other traditions that i trained in). I guess i’ll just forgive myself for doing this when i cannot stand the other pain any longer and no praying for help seems to help one iota.
dear nina –
apologies for butting in to your conversation with annie, but i thought i’d like to say – that there’s nothing wrong with invoking Archangel Michael – just my (unsolicited) thought. apologies if unneeded.
love,
a
Nina love, Anil said it for me too. HUGS! And I will add; Even Jesus’ body is an illusion. Use the illusion that works until you don’t need it anymore but don’t give it up before you are ready (that is ego self-torture,I think). You are “ready” when one day you happen to notice that what you were using (most likely) just “faded out” a long time ago. No “thinking” about it required. (-:
Heh Nina, you are so funny to apologize. I think that the Christ is who we ask for help, and in our Course’s story, that’s the true version of Jesus. What He truly is is a trustworthy helper we lean back on – or our own true Self. It doesn’t matter what ‘personage’ you put on It – it is the Christ in ‘Michael’, ‘Jesus’, ‘You’. WHOEVER you want to call the trusted helper to be in that hallucinatory moment. Love and trust are what is really doing it.
Years ago, i met a woman from San Diego who was in the Luckett’s study group when Bill was there. When people asked him about not being able to ‘contact’ Jesus, he told them to call on him ‘Bill’. She always asked ‘Bill’ when she felt like it. Any port in a storm . . . more love, katrina
Ditto Annie’s ‘When I come here I don’t feel there is a separation only a sense of coming together.’
hugs, katrina
Oh you guys, that is so very freeing to read.I guess I am too strictly Wapnickian some times.
Then I can tell you that tuesdag Carolyn Myss is coming to Norway and speaking about her new process “defying gravity” – and remembering how i cried when I saw the anti-gravity-scenes in Inception, I am looking forward to it.
I really like the idea of Archangel ‘Bill’. Pam in 803 said it all really so beautifully. I personally am still going to need lots of different illusions to get through this path, and while I do they won’t seem like illusions to me but truth. Jesus is one of those, and I have called on angels in the same way before. They all bring me great comfort, and remind me that Love is true, no matter how I might be doubting or hurting. This is really not anti-Wapnickian. Ken has suggested we use Jesus or whatever other symbol works for us, be that Buddha, Mohammed, Lao Tsu, St Theresa, or Rabbi Karmyunkel. Ken really does not mind whom we turn to, as long as our chosen Friend represents the greatest, non-judgmental Love we can imagine.
I don’t mind what we say in the Village really, as long as there is a sense of coming together and removing the sense of differences and separation. Then this Village’s job is done perfectly. We’re all together here. Hopefully this will also remind us that we are all together with everyone in our daily lives, all those who are not activity participating in this particular Village, but in the village of our regular daily lives, the villages of San Diego, Singapore, New York, Oslo, La Paz, San Luis Obsipo, etc. It’s so much more fun being one. (Hey, that rythmns! almost)
This fits right in the Archangel theme. Carol Howe relates a story that didn’t make into her book about Bill, on the “Don’t Forget To Laugh” website, about a lady from the Luckett’s Garden Group, that Bill went to alot, that had a dream after Bill passed on. In the dream she was in front of a skyscraper and she went inside and in the directory the top floor listed an office for the Holy Spirit. So she went to the top floor followed the sign pointing the way, came to a door that said Office of the Holy Spirit opened the door and the only thing in the room was a large desk with Bill sitting behind it smiling at her.
The story is much better on the web site. I’ve pared it down to the very basics. Plus there are others just as interesting.
hmmm, wonder if this would be the same lady Katrina met?
Pam –
That’s very, very cool. Thanks so much for sharing that. Bill is one of my favorites. I love him. And for whatever it’s worth, I was so thrilled/happy-beyond-belief when I read/heard that he was enlightened at the time of his passing beyond this world. I used to go to Carole’s site often, but never knew there was the other Never Forget to Laugh site (and in googling, found that his statement was even better than “don’t forget to laugh” it was Never Forget to Laugh.
Love it, love it, love it.
(:
ps. Owe you the story of how S and I met. Will write about that some other time. Have a lot to read now on Bill’s site (:
Oh Nina! When I read about you having these hand battles with dark forces it taps into a secret dance I do too. I have to admit I do something similiar; I like to summoned the scariest thing I can think of then I start picking a fight just to see how my skills match up. As soon as I feel the dark forces are getting the upper hand I call a time out and claim they don’t play fair. I think I do it as a way to measure if I’ve made any progress from the last round. Then I get upset when I have to call in my support team (angels, deceased relatives anyone whose listening) and ask for help. That then sends me into a nose dive called depression. I want to be special and not really need anyone. I’m still holding on to that insane idea. The difference between you and I is that you do ask for help alot sooner than I do. Pride is a hard weed to kill. So you are doing good girlfriend and I am learning so much from your sharing. The other night I had a dream where I came upon some family friends in the church parking lot and they needed help. I said I would take care of it and I went to dial 911 on my cell phone but I was unsuccessful. Repeatedly I tried and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong…I told myself to slow down it was just my anxiety messing everything up, I can do this; I realized I was dialing 9 then the lower case letter “L” so it looked like I dialed 911. The only thing I can deduce from both of our situations is that help is always around. It may have appeared like I was asking for help but I secretly wasn’t. It’s ok. That was important for me to see. Can’t quite laugh about it yet but a smirk my lips did make.
Anil, Your right it should be Never not don’t. The site just went up about 2-3 weeks ago. Carol sent me an e-mail notice because I had bought the book, of the same title, that she wrote. Very good. I laughed and I cried and laughed and cried… satisfied sigh….
And i surely don’t summon them up – but i recognize the futility of trying to outsmart them. That’s why it never feels REAL good for me to be “stronger than” – that makes them real – and that is why i want to practice the Course, reminding me that I made them up to scare and punish me and make me believe i am here.
The times when this Y E S came, it came from a completely different place than all the strategies of course. And “little I” did not have anything to do with it. But it really taught me that it is my resistance to them and my judgment of them that gives them power – this Y E S from the heart transformed all of it into radiant light.
And do you know? next morning after one of these YES’es, a child had drawn a big smiling sun on a piece of paper and put in my mailbox. Talk about signs (:
Pam, how could it be any other woman?!
Love the ‘Archangel Bill’, Bernard, ‘fusion ACIM’ comes to mind.
And you’re right about Ken agreeing — i recall getting this idea cause he said it at a Temecula class — any symbol that you trust and openly accept love from is the one for you to use. I suppose that later, Kwan Yin may point her thumb at her bro’ Jesus sitting on the other side of her on the couch — when we’re ready to accept that.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror this morning, looking at the image there – how tired she looks, poor girl -noticing the many thoughts about how to react to other thoughts:
…I must not have this disaster-thoughts, because I react to them with fear and believe in them… that fortifies them and make them stay – I must find a way to heal this – how can I be so stooopid still to think this way…what if Itchy is there on the Talk today, and she sits down beside me….and takes my shawl for herself….my stomach is in knots, I cannot go to this talk…but I have looked so forward to it …I MUST go, I MUST be able to reject her and be firm and tell her what I need to say…but I can’t, fear makes me loose all my words…I’ll just sit there and allow her to bowl me over…oh I can’t stand that, that feels like rape all over, but this time it is my fault, since I can’t find the right words to say…and I should be able to, dammit…when will I learn this?- – -Oh my head feels like poisoned fog…
Dear Pam – in this moment I remember your post 803:
— Even Jesus’ body is an illusion. Use the illusion that works until you don’t need it anymore but don’t give it up before you are ready (that is ego self-torture, I think). You are “ready” when one day you happen to notice that what you were using (most likely) just “faded out” a long time ago. No “thinking” about it required. (-: Pam
As soon as I remember these lines, my head is clear:
Ahhh! I don’t have to stop having these scared thoughts. One more time: I don’t have to stop having these scared thoughts. Come again: I don’t have to stop having these scared thoughts!
As soon as I stop resist the thoughts, the fear vanishes. They are not “mine” any longer, they can not save me by preparing me what to say. It is OK to feel the fear if Itchy comes, it is OK to move somewhere else, to say no, to be angry – I can forgive afterwards, when the scary situation is not there any longer. I see how my/ego’s favorite self-torture is to demand that I act in a responsible and mature and adult way when trauma-touching stuff happens – no, those are times when I would mostly benefit with removing myself and comfort myself, asking for help from H.S.
Oh all these times the ego is doing the forgiveness-process, and I find myself stuck inside it – it translates to such harsh demands of what I should.
I have lit three candles for you in the Cave! :::giggles:::
I’m back to the fireside anil to hang with you. So what’s a favorite sweet for you? And I’m ready to hear how you and Shobha met (:
*joke*
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
How about:
The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it’s still on the list.
“I’m just saying”
Annie dear –
Today time may be tight for details on the story of S&A (: I have been reliably informed that I need to shower and get ready to head out for lunch.
Our penultimate day in Riberao – S is already starting to get tense with all the to-dos pre-departure. Don’t want to add to her woes (;
hugs, Annie – hope the fatigue vanishes like an unpleasant odor in a refreshing breeze…
A
ps. Favorite sweet – hmmmm…. maybe Texan pralines that I picked up at Dallas airport when we flew to Brazil. Can’t wait to land in Dallas again on Thursday AM. Hope the airport shops are open at 6 am (;
Okie dokie next time…glad I caught you…you are the refreshing breeze!
Enjoy lunch 🙂
I was going to keep the jokes coming till Anil showed up. Luckily for you he did but since I cut and pasted this one already I’ll let it be the last one for today. (:
When tempted to fight fire with fire,
remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Have a great day everyone!
I did love this one, Annie (ps thanks for the entire list – very funny!):
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Suggestion:
Sleeping with a big blue book under my pillow does not make me one (One).
Oh, working on a good dessert for Anil (one tuf customer). Does he prefer baklava and pistachio style desserts, or spicy honey cakes, or perhaps creamy cupcakes with walnut bits. Cuz he doesn’t like chocolate nor fudge nor ice cream! Have a good lunch out, my man! (whad’ya have for sweets?)
And hugs to Nina (I first wrote ‘jugs’ to Nina!). I like this: “all these times the ego is doing the forgiveness-process.” Yes, the ego is kinda tough when it ‘forgives’ us. There’s always this immense depression and fear hangover. Fortunately Jesus/Buddha/Carmyunkel are there with with real goods, and their forgiveness feels as yummy as a salmon and cuke sandwich or sweet as homemade ginger and almond chocolate.
Hey, Lisi, hope your internet connection gets fixed soon. While I’m at it, I’ll send along a prayer to the Gods of Internet Connections for the sake of Winnie and Ruth-Anne, too.
Is it always about food with you Bernard? Or is that just a French thing? I want the salmon cuke sandwich and its not even 9am here (:
Perks of being the Mayor and being able to fix you spelling errors…the rest of us have to forgive (:
Bernard, my brother —
so sorry I’m being difficult… (really, really not my intention – pistachio-based/baklava sound great (:, i guess it depends on the moment – oh well, i guess i’m difficult ):/(:
so that’s a smiley-sad face – how does one do both ? anyone ever feel happy and sad *simultaneously* – wierd feeling (:
So I’m all showered and dressed and no place to go. (BIL’s (brother-in-law’s) car not here yet. but flip side is the wifey is happy as a clam, now that i’m all neat and clean (:
I live in the Village more and more each day (:
love and hugs to all,
a
PENULTIMATE
Dictionary entry overview: What does penultimate mean?
• PENULTIMATE (noun)
The noun PENULTIMATE has 1 sense:
1. the next to last syllable in a word
Familiarity information: PENULTIMATE used as a noun is very rare.
• PENULTIMATE (adjective)
The adjective PENULTIMATE has 1 sense:
1. next to the last
Familiarity information: PENULTIMATE used as an adjective is very rare.
*******************************************************************************************
Had to go back and you guessed it…google the word and just for fun I played with the bold printing because the words ‘very rare’ made me smile.
I can just see you sitting there all shiny and clean and smelling good Anil. Teaching little Annie a new word and keeping Bernard guessing how much flour to use. We are together but apart…yes happy and sad pretty much sums it up.
If the Mayro has the perk of being able to fix his typos, he doesn’t use it very much! I find my typos all ober the place!
Yes, I really am into food, Annie. Must be France getting to me. (maybe it’s because everyone, wherever they are, whichever country, can relate to food – it’s sooo universal. Everyone eats – I think. Guess I could use nature scenes more often, but food’s more fun.)
And I still want to know what Anil had for lunch. Makes me hungry just thinking of a Brazilian restaurant. Now he’s gonna say he had pizza or Chinese.
Annie, i was reading what you said about the daily fatigue routine, and had a little selfish flash that your end of day fatigue is what motivates you to get up and get coffee ready for us western u.s.’ers. I count on that, so thanks for putting up with your workday so you can make my morning the next day. And since i’m not actually pouring the coffee into my body, you are delivering a spirit service, not a bodily one. Somehow i think that is happening constantly thruout your day, and just like this morning one you give us, you don’t even know they are happening.
Anil, i love your phrase ‘the flip side is the wifey is happy as a clam, now that i’m all neat and clean’. It has the ring of a man who will know family happiness all his life. Put that in a fortune cookie.
Wow! What a wonderfully funny, profound and prolific day it has been in the village today. Happy smile as I put another log on the fire.
Nina, three hugs for you! We both do a little happy dance. Oh yeah!!
Perfeck phrasing, Pam (:
ps. Bernard sire – I shall return to fill you on the Brazilian lunch details (:. But ’tis close to the midnight hour now – and you are fast asleep in enchanting France. And I must follow suit here (:
Nightý night, all.
{{{Katrina}}}
Nothing much to say this morning. Brewed the Starbucks Sumatra Blend (Extra Bold) to get the adrenals pumping but I think they are spent. It’s ok, I’ll just lie low for a while, this too shall pass. I have made a half hearted commitment to loose some weight and I am sure that is contributing to my feeling “heavy”. Just think if I fully committed???? I am sure I need to lighten up emotionally and then the pounds will start to fall off. But FYI not giving up the half and half in my morning brew. My stubborness is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. As always its the Weightloss of the Mind that is required before it can show up in “form”.
Hmmm just had a thought how we instinctively hate change ….I used to think that was a bad thing but maybe not…We intuitively know that which is True is changeless. So I’ve been half right all along! It’s the other half of the equation that I have been unwilling to accept where I’m trapped in tv land and this reality show I’m on sucks. Now I see when the Course talks about bringing illusion to Truth (sit on couch with lap top do nothing and loose weight) will never work. But bringing Truth into the illusion change your thinking (get off your ***) and you will change your life) will bring the experience I desire.
Well, I think the Sumatra Blend finally kicked in for me. Maybe this hasn’t made any sense to you but I’m starting to feel better already.
p.s. Nina if you inhale the helium and start talking to whomever scares you it might work too. 🙂
Hi Annie –
Your writing makes perfect sense to me…. Good to see you here as always. My Internet connection to the Village was broken this morning. I clicked every two minutes, but no….. 🙁 This went on for about 20 minutes !!
I can only hope that it’s nowhere near as frustrating for RuthAnne, Winnie, Lisi or anyone else that tries to connect to their spot here, and find it unworkable.
I have to run now (we’re boarding a flight in a few hours), but I just wanted to say Hi.
Hugs,
a
ummm, Annie-kins, I think you may have gotten your Truth to illusions/illusion to Truth turned about.(-:
I have been thinking along the same lines about the instinctivly hating change. Have you ever noticed that according to the stress charts that so called good/happy events produce as much stress as so called bad/sad events. I guess that way it is a win- win for the ego everytime.
Inhale helium….LOL XD
Oh hi Anil have a good flight. (note to self hit the refreash button more often so I don’t miss inbetween posts so often)
Hope the duty free shop is open for praline sales. So long Brazil…it was fun!
Pam I probably do have it all backwards…I’m a wizard with my logic sometimes…(think mickey mouse) But its so fun to watch me…I crack myself up sometimes.
ie: yesterday I had my friend give me a pilates lesson. We were doing mat exercises and I was to follow her moves. Well at one point she turns her back towards me to show me how this move was to be done. So what does Annie do, she turns around too, only to keep turning her head to see what she is doing.(I refer to myself in third person when I do something stupid) When Eileen saw what I did she couldn’t stop laughing…Annie you weren’t suppose to turn around…I just turned so you could see what I was doing. She said it was straight out of a sit-com. (her x-husband is a director so everything is a tv reference). But then she said that’s so like you when I said to follow my moves you literally followed my moves. You probably would have done that at the gym too wouldn’t have you? And then I said no- I would have waited to see what everyone else was doing so I knew what to do but since this is a one on one, I just do what I am told without any common sense. The funny thing is sometimes I do say some profound things and again it has nothing to do with me …I just clear the mechanism and sometimes its worthwhile and other times it ridiculous. So happy to entertain.
Hugs Pam and is Cory back to school?
Hey Annie, Sorry about the first line of #836 it sounds a bit rude to me now. I must have been in Homeschool mommy mode. I should probably drink more coffee before posting eh?
Am I that slow of a typist or did you just have that much of a head start on me to post first? I home school Cory all year around that way we only have to do a couple hours a day vs. lots of hours a day to meet state requirements
Thanks, Pam –
True, Annie – So long Brazil it is… (your pilates story was the perfect bon voyage present (:
See ya’ll later.
Love,
a
I didn’t see it as rude at all…I immediately thought …I’ll never figure this thing out 🙂 But I’m not worried in the least.
Homeschool …hats off to you my friend! Any field trips planned? That would be my question if I was Cory.
I guess you do your lesson workbook right along with him 🙂 Awesome!
I’m off now….Have a great Day!
Just missed you Annie. Great pilates lesson – thanks so much! Yeah, we all have it backwards, and sometimes it makes us laugh, which is wonderful. That’s just like my Pat (I won’t dare tell her I said that) – she’s so cute like that. She calls herself Mrs Bean after the Mr Bean series. But I make a pretty good Mr Bean sometimes myself. We’re quite the comical team. (There I go talking about myself again. Oh well, guess it’s always just me, me, followed by a dash of Me.)
Ciao, Brazil! Arrivederci, sayonara and auf wiedersehen, and all that stuff. So, as Annie says, time to hit the Pralines? And I’m still waiting, tongue hanging out, for the menu the other day in that great little typical Brazilian restaurant you guys went to.
Hi, Nina, glad you found some comfort with that technique. I’m not familiar with it.
Hi, Pam!
Hi Bernard. Annie, Believe it or not Cory wants to go to a Ken workshop( now that would be a FIELD TRIP) and a Gary one also. Would love to do the March 11th one you all have been talking about but don’t think I will have enough time to save up enough money for the trip. Maybe March 11th 2012 is more realistic for me. That’s if the Mayan Calender don’t mess that year up. :giggle:
I know,I know. Bad grammar is allowed in a tongue in cheek joke.
“Now, where is it?”
(Rummaging around in the kitchen, opening cupboards, closing cupboards, moving things on the counter)
“Aha!” (Holding up an object) “No… not it either.”
(Huffing, puffing, sighing)
“I know it’s here somewhere!”
(Gazes out the window reflecting)
“Okay, now I get the deal.”
(Opens forbidden and absolutely out-of-bounds-by-all-men cupboard to Patricia’s secret store of gingernuts and organic chocolate with Macadamia)
“Eureka! Come to daddy, my baby!”
(Opens packet and inserts nose deep into the contents and inhales slowly)
“Ahhhh, now we’re talking WAKE-UP TIME.”
(Takes a spoon and ladles several generous scoops of pure Jamaican Moka into Village-size large Italian espresso-maker, lights fire on stove, waits extremely impatiently until he hears the spluttering of steam issuing from the innards of coffee maker. Throws his arms outward and turns pirouettes to spread the heavenly aroma to all corners of the Tavern. Sets out 10 little demi-tasses on the counter, each with its own little saucer and spoon and lump of sugar. Opens a large paper bag and heaps the steamy warm French pastries into a wicker basket. Adjusts the bouquet of orange and white dahlias on the low table. Opens Tavern door to Village Square where a fabulous sun filters through the branches and leaves of the plane trees.)
“Okay, guys!” he cries to the empty square. “Ready when you are!”
PS I apologize in advance to all those who don’t get into this kind of metaphor for happiness and peacefulness, and I ask them to adjust and modify the symbols to suite their preferences. I would kindly ask them to feel warmed by my intention and good wishes for them, rather than feel obliged to deal with the indigestion such croissants and coffee might engender. 🙂
(I put up a photo to go with this on the home page)
Love the visual, Love the effort, Love the Love! I kinda like this time difference now, it allows me to sleep in while you do all the work (: Jamaican Moka …I be talkin mellow all day maan.
BTW Sunday is the International Talk Like a Pirate Day. (you have been warned).
Yes my food symbol for happiness and peacefulness is found in half and half…and all earthly wisdom will condem it….it’s dairy, its high in saturated fat, it’s laddened with chemicals (I don’t buy organic) but it comes from a happy cow or at least that is what I choose to believe (: I only mention this as a disclaimer since the thought that I may have been a bad influence here causing some of you {{katrina}} to follow in my footsteps. I’m telling you the medical profession is all about do what I say not as I do.
And I need to back pedal a bit more from yesterdays postings {{{Nina}}} The helium visualization was a gift and thank you for sharing that. I should have acknowledge the gift first before I went ahead and started playing around. I also appreciated katrina trying to hide my tracks for me. So ladies as always so good to see where my mind goes first and learn to pause a bit. It reminds me of the times when I just wanted to put myself in solitary confinement when I recognized such behaviour and take a vow of silence. That always ended with me just imploding and spewing off again. It was a vicious cycle. I think this one day at a time pace is just right. So again my apologies Nina.
Now about that field trip in March to Temecula…we can put our heads together and figure something out I’m sure. Never know what all the options are until we try and if it doesn’t work out for this March it will still be fun to dream the happy dream.
mmm croissant flakes all over my pj’s (licks finger and collects each one at a time ) fyi I don’t get dressed to write to you 🙂
Ohh yes Pam…the Mayan calendar reference *rim shot*
PJ-party!