Fireside I
It is to the Village Square that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom. Then when their minds have been filled, they retire to the tavern on the western side of the square where they share in social discussion, learning of each other’s events and challenges, happinesses and sometimes sadnesses, too. With a mug or glass in hand, they collect in front of the great Fireplace that dominates the long wall. Benches and chairs are often filled on market day with those who have come from farther away, bringing news of events and views the local people delight in hearing.
If you are feeling disoriented by all the philosophical talk by the fountain in the Village Square, then come sit down on the bench here with us for a while just to soothe your mind and share a mug of tea or coffee. Let’s all make sure the conversation is quiet and simple, caring and thougtful, exactly the kind of talk you might have around a warm hearth, the only light filling the room coming from the fireplace.
When i read this site, i think of the phrase,
At play in the fields of the Lord.
I want to thank you again Bernard, and all of you, Annie, Katrina, Nina, Michele, Pam, Donna, Laura, Cory, for the beautiful experience we shared yesterday. The remembrance of all your voices and love kept my day warm and sunny all day long.
Group hug, including all the silent ones that for sure accompanied us yesterday.
Much love,
Lisi
Thank you everyone for all the hugs and the love and the kind words ! You sure are a bunch of very beautiful people and i love you all dearly xoxoxoox
Heya, Winnie! How’s our Angel from Oz? There’s still some fairy dust lingering around here somewhere… just tiny speckles and traces of it that lead back to a special tree house somewhere in the deep jungles of Queensland. So glad you could pop by. There’s a nice cup o’ tea awaitin’ for ye anytime by the Fire.
Did anyone notice, we hit 1,000?
Yeah, I saw that last night at around 11:00pm. and did you notice that I hit 999??? Whats that, one and one third evil?? (-; So here in the fireside I got post 333,666, and 999. Is this woo wooo?
I didn’t see that when I posted last night, only just now when I went back to see who got post 1,000. Waves hi to Katrina on 1,000.
“At play in the fields of the Lord” I like that also. ::smile::
Did confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling katrina!!!! That’s what I’m envisioning (:
Pamikins those numbers really do follow you around!!! This hide and seek game in the fields of our Lord is delightful:::smiling back at you:::
I feel like holding hands and playing ring around the rosy with my girlfriends here!!! Not that I don’t want the boys to join in but I have a feeling it wouldn’t come naturally to them.
The fairy dust is tickling my nose…I love when Winnie is nearby!
Great we hit 1000 ponderings, Hurray Katrina!!!
Pam, your numbers are amazing!!
Winnie so great to see you here again.
Lots of hugs, Lisi
Cool numbers, Pam.
And looks like Sunday by the FireSide was a great success. I hope I can join on the next one. I once heard a live Con-call recording from another teacher/group, I wasn’t even part of it, but it was such a great “learning” experience.
it’s wierd, because even though there was no actual learning I could point to from the experience, i still felt like a lot of “something heavy” fell away @!!
Late night in Singapore as I write this – eyes almost shutting.
A(nother) quite note to Bernard – sorry I had to be so brief on the email, dear friend. It’s a pleasure to get an email from you, and when it’s right there, and with the possibility of connecting real-time, I feel compelled to write back immediately. Hope that’s OK with you, and not troubling, or not-OK in any way !! (:
G’night for now ~~
a
ps. Nina and Katrina – thank you for the thoughts on the picture of S & me.
Pam, i think that the 333, 666, and 999 are following you around because you are the keeper of the fairy dust, and those are their twinkling eyes.
Here i was sitting by the fire late at night and i saw that i was going to be 1000, so i sent it off as a call to Winnie to let her know that we have a very cozy rafter house here by the fireside and we would love to hear her murmuring thoughts wafting down, our faces upturned to catch her fairy dust in our eyelashes. Not that we don’t see the value of silent walkabout — just want you to know that we keep your dinner on the table, warm and freshened 3 times a day, whenever you can come home.
After it posted, i thought of us here, joyfully playing, and thought that would be a perfect picture to start us off on our next thousand sharings.
Hugging all, katrina
You know, if we piled up all our combined troubles and worries, and stacked them just outside my house, it would be enough to crack this California shelf off into the ocean.
But, as Bernard gently voices Zeph to us, instead — we CHOOSE to come here and be loving. Sometimes it is hard to see that choice in the antics that jump into my daily life, but HERE i see peace.
peace and love, katrina
oh guys i feel so touched by your loving kindness that i dont know what to say ! Re-connecting with everyone here is like coming home to a family that was formed in the mists of long ago, that comes together down through the ages when the time is right………….and yet is, and always has, been there lovingly waiting.
I make no apologies for my sentimentality. I do however beg pardon for my absence. It`s not just because of ongoing computer problems that i have not been able to join in, but more so because of difficulties with expression.
Words overwhelm me like never before .Like the thoughts they spring from, they seem all so pointless. I was always the type to be able to see both sides of a story. Since becoming a Course student, both sides have ballooned about to there being a squillion sides and all of them right or wrong – makes no difference.
Lately i have been going away in my campervan for long periods and just reveling in the solitude and simplicity.
Actions too, overwhelm me to the point that i feel pretty much unable to do anything other than the bear { tee hee} necessities. Even the mere thought of doing anything { cleaning my caravan, sewing, practising my uke,} provokes and irritates Mr Overwhelm to the point that he comes crashing through the undergrowth and stands thunderingly before, extremely affronted. I dont argue with him. Jesus and i just look at him together. I am content to wait.
Where else i ask you, could i express myself thus?
And yet that is where i am at……It dont bother me at all. I am happier than i have ever been and yet it`s a kinda boring kind of happy.
I feel like a dandelion puff blowing in the wind not really caring which way it goes and never quite sure which way is up.
insanely yours
lil winnie
p.s. i wanna play Ring a Rosie too { goes off to make flower garlands for everyone}
p.p.s {comes back with them and ceremoniously crowns everyone, even the boys, who secretly love it !]
Winnie, thanks for the flower garlands. I think we may be two pods of the same plant. Anne and Pam told me thy loved something i had written yesterday on my blog, and i was not able to see its beauty before they told me.
What you are writing here is poetry: it just flows out of Presence. Your ego may don’t know how to express itself, but you surely do – what a joy to read, I felt like i was taken into a dance.
And mr Overwhelm visits me too every morning and a lot more too. And we are surely not alone in this.
I am going to bed now – if you are near, i sure could use some pixie-dust of your special brand.
and a hug of course
{{{Winnie}}}
Ya Know Katrina your right. re. 1010 and if you hook 3s or 6s or 9s together around a center point they do make flower like symbols and everytime Winnie sent me a village care package of pixie and fairy dust she always knew which type of flowers it had been gathered from.(-:
Winnie, so nice listening again to your wise words. Always love when you speak, cause it always left me something…kindness and love, apart from always being very useful to my path.
Thanks for the flower garlands, they are just beautiful.
Lots of love and a big hug
Lisi 🙂
dear winnie –
agree with nina. sheer poetry in your writing. many thanks for writing in with those sparkling words.
love,
a
ps. am happy to be crowned, but will have to decline the invitation to
the ring-a-rosy game !! (:
(the child in me is still unable to persuade the adult in me to set aside my “insane” importance and seriousness (:
but there’s still hope….. (:
Wearing flower garland pushing Winnie on the swing that hangs from the great tree in the commons by the tavern. Knowing that no matter how much it seems some are here or how long some seem to be gone – all of you are in my heart forever.
Love is…….
I feel it in every post. I bless each name that appears. I know this open and gracious vessel of communication is working its miracle in every dimension simutaneously. I needn’t be privy to the changes that bring us back to the state of no change.
May we all know Peace for just a moment today.
Winnie (#1012), thank you for your expressive posting of where you are right now and what you have been feeling. I felt like you were speaking my thoughts as that has been very much what is happening in my life as well. Every once in awhile I feel like I have stepped outside of this “picture” I’m in and I oh so kindly see myself moving through this movie and all the decisions and feelings that go with it. It’s very brief and quite odd because there is no sense of body or eyes when this happens—just a knowing. But then, bang, I’m back in it and totally consumed with whatever presents itself at that moment. And lately I find that I have no interest in anything—which sometimes is very comforting and other times very scary because then I get into the merry-go-round of “I should be doing…” and feeling overwhelmed with all the “musts” this presents. For me however, I don’t always take HS’ hand right away. It’s like I have forgotten. And then the memory returns and I try to be kind to this person I think I am. More and more I find myself coming to this village and comforting myself with the wisdom and warmth that is shared here. And Bernard, I appreciate so very much your extending yourself and sharing your thought process along the way with us. It is very helpful. Hugs to everyone.
I too have noticed a wobbly kind of feeling deep inside that I’m on the verge of tipping my realities. I’m begining to entertain the possibilty that maybe I won’t fall apart if I am exposed to the Truth. I see myself as performing a highwire act without a net and I’m trying to make it to the other side without the Holy Spirit swooping in to save me. Each time I get a little further along the rope. (:
In this physical reality I have a genuine fear of heights but Spiritually speaking we can’t be studying this Course and not call ourselves Fearless. I can’t help but feel like the angels are watching and cheering us on with each step. Like a Celestial SuperBowl, World Cup, Olympic game Match all rolled up in One…and there are rooting for each one of us cuz there is only One of Us.
It’s just Crazy (: …..exists with ukulele music playing….
Yes Annie, may we all know Peace today…which is not a little gift.
Love and hugs…
Donna, what a pleasure finding you at the fireplace. And what a pleasure reading again your ponders. I identified so much with you at the Monastery in the sense that when you posted something a lot of times was as if I wrote the post. And read my experiences written by another really helped to see a lot of things I could not see before. Coming to the Village is really comforting and the Mayor always provides us with a cup of delicious tea and fresh bread, apart from the always warmth company of all the villagers.
Oh Annie I loved this: “Like a Celestial SuperBowl, World Cup, Olympic game Match all rolled up in One…”
Hi Kendall, I am with you, may we all know Peace today…
Hugs, Lisi
Big hugs to you, Donna, in overwhelm. We’ll ‘whelm’ together for a while, and it’ll all pass.
Hey, Kendall. Great to see you. Have a cup of yogi tea.
Winnie, lovely post. Please come again!
Good morning everyone…… well the Dawn Chorus has just begun…. the time of day when i often think “right today i`m a-gonna spring clean my caravan and start making Christmas presents and” – {yes the Christmas fairies have already flown in and are starting to whisper ideas} ……………………………….. but probably today will be like yesterday…
Oh it feels so good to be back with everybody! and at this time too – first thing in the morning just like old times, and specially to feel so loved and appreciated { goes all niggy-wig}
I dont very often think about needing love but just recently when i was in a shop, the shopkeeper called me sweetheart, which was obviously his term for everyone, but boy did i lap it up… I think i floated out of the shop. When i told this to a friend, she looked at me oddly, as if to say -> there`s no real love behind those kinds of greetings between strangers . I didnt argue.
Anyhoo i`m all awash with so many things to say that i dont know where to begin…..! and now feel encouraged to coz of all your lovely words {gathers up Nina and launches into the Heel and Toe Polka so gracefully that even her daughter would be proud !……slips a tiny pouch into her pocket made of soft pink rose -petal containing rare Snuggle-Pot pixie dust……
Speaking of pixie dust, i want to tell you guys a story from my big trip {I`ve got a few up my sleeve}
I have a little phial of pixie dust given me by a friend some years ago that is worn as a necklace. Naturally I wanted to bring it with me to America, but the tiny cork around the neck of the wee bottle had started to disintegrate. Therefore i couldnt pack it, so i decided to wear it since it would need to remain upright.
I was hoping no one at Customs would ask about it, since i wasnt sure if they could “handle the truth” about what it was. As it turned out, there was no problem.
After eventually falling asleep, i woke in the morning about the same time as my fellow passenger. She looked over at me and suddenly her eyes opened wide exclaiming with much astonishment “Oh my God, you`re covered in glitter , your whole face is !”
I looked down to see my dress be-sprinkled as well. I guess i must have knocked it somehow in my sleep.
I refrained from correcting the lady as to the true nature of the alleged “glitter” and calmly washed my face with a wet wipe i had brought. Inwardly i was chuckling to myself.
By the time i got home, that pixie dust had ended up all through my suitcases and when i unpacked, i was delighted to see that there was still some of it in the empty cases.
My son is overseas at the moment {guess where ?}. He needed to borrow my suitcase. I was hoping he wouldnt notice the tiny bits of you-know-what, but alas the vigorous and multiple shakings suggested otherwise……
Pammikins thanks for the Pecan roll and lovely cup of tea – hugs to Cory
and big hugs to you dear Michelle La Belle…and lovely fairy Lisi too – yes it will be good to do a Ken workshop together…. {{Katrina }}i`ve missed you too…hugs to all of you ! I cant do Skype coz i dont have a microphone on my computer. So has the baby come yet dear Anil ? { slips a tiny garland on his head without his knowing}..Hey Laura how was the wedding – did you enjoy it?
and how is your lovely daughter Kendall and how are you travelling these days? DonnaD – i`m so glad you have come to the Village ! Have you fully recovered now from your op ? Big hugs to you too me lovely Annie-Panni ..Hmmm you have a fear of heights and a fear of birds – maybe you were a golden eagle once who was pushed out of the nest too soon by an over-eager mama…
Thank you Bernard for giving us the Village and maintaining the gardens so beautifully…{picks some brightly coloured poppies}
It is very helpful to write out what we feel. it often helps me “look more closely”, so to have this space is a blessing and i am so glad to be back here. xoxooxoxoxoox
winnie dear –
a lovely long post from you. the day couldn’t start any better. baby not here yet – late dec expected date (dec 24th). loved your pixie-dust story. hope to see you on your next temecula visit (:
love,
a
Winnie, so good to have you here again. Really enjoy your pixie dust story. Anytime I feel lonely I put my garland on my head and instantly a warm feeling of love arises.
Hugs and lots of love 🙂
anil! is your baby expected to share jesus’birthday?+?? ( well it is, in many places in europe (: and thanks for the loving remark on my blog
Winnie, loved the dance! and the pink-rose petals. I so needed a bit of glitter, it takes away the B I G and SERIOUS work of ACIM ( my poor ego struggles so much with the Course) – right now I couldn’t care less –
I think i will just come with empty hands to the lord
natti natti
and boy am I happy that you are back
(did you say hello to my Village-cat Rufus, by the way? he’s the orange one with the stripes -)
Dear Villagers ~ Jamie and Bonnie’s darling cat Dreamy has died. I got a note from Emm this afternoon and only opened it tonight. I’m sure they would love our prayers, thoughts, lit candles. I loved Dreamy sooooo much.
Michele, I’m sorry to hear about Dreamy’s passing away. He was dear in our hearts, that little fella. I spoke with Pumpkin about it this morning and he came back from a long nap and told me he was visiting with Dreamy. He told me that Dreamy is delighted with his new home, even if it was an unexpected change of surroundings. He sends his love to one and all and says not to worry about him at all, he is safe and cosy and has lots of cushions and companionship.
Yes, nothing here is permament… Fortunately we are all embraced within an Eternity that is indeed unchanging and perfectly loving and kind. Peace to everyone today.
{{{Jamie and Bonnie}}}
A quiet day at the Village.
As I roam the streets of Hong Kong, I check back into the Tavern late this evening. Don’t really have much to say, but the thought crossed my mind, that a day without checking into this little patch of cyberspace seems like an incomplete day.
I started writing a longer post about homelessness, the Internet and the connection to eternity, but it wasn’t coming out right – it seemed to me that a voice prompted within to go back and delete it all. So I did 🙂
and wrote this paragraph instead.
Time is running out (: – this terminal only lets one log on for 15 minutes, and dinner beckons anyway (:
Take care, dear friends – a good evening, a good day, and happy times to all.
a
Here to make some noise for Anil…who seems to be disappearing!!!! …just an ‘a’ (:
It’s not like you have such a long name but somehow it fits you. I get the sense that you are the kind of person who is the support beam in peoples lives. Don’t need to play front and center would rather show up give the best of what you have and move out of the way. And yet I so desire to hear all that is going on in your world simply because you are all over the world. I envision you as one of the lightworkers on the planet who literally needs to walk the streets of varying Villages (can we call Hong Kong a Villlage?) and bless it simply by your presence. I’m curious now on what sparked your homelessness post. All I know is that if I became homeless by the definition of this world, I would gladly release my earthly possessions except for my laptop. God will have to take the final step and yank it from my arms…I know it doesn’t work that way but the visual is hilarious:)
Hi, pumpkins, i’m really tired but thought i’d check in to let you know that Ken has officially gone into the light — his seminar today was titled “The Golden Thread of Hope”. And he spoke all day about our ability to see our special problems with a different Guide. It’s sort of like listening to a bird singing from a thicket of trees. I have few notes because it was like listening to a lullaby with the same soft refrains being sung again and again. If we get 3 more days of this, I may have to float home in a hot air balloon.
I’m so glad Ken was so surprising, because I was so excited to meet Annie in LA, that I’d sort of put the Temecula class on the back burner. {Annie}, thank you for making time for me at the end of a long day of work. What a joy it would be for a patient to have such a joyful face walk up to give them their care. Your face says care all over it! And what a treat to meet {Mark}, smart, funny, and amazingly considerate (and cute, too.) You two have given my LA perceptions a radiant boost. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Annie and me even drive the same kind of car — and strangely, i knew that before i saw it. Getting some psychic gift here.
Hugs, katrina
The pleasure was mine katrina! I too was anxious to meet you and when the end of my work day started to fall apart and I knew I wouldn’t be getting out on time I almost got upset, well, I did get irritated. But it did present the opportunity for me to call my husband Mark to pick you up and wasn’t that so much better! (: For those who may not recall, Mark was born and raised in Portland just like Katrina. When I arrived to the restaurant and found them sitting together I felt this warm feeling inside. At the time I rushed over to meet my friend but since then when I replay that moment in my mind and press the pause button, I keep returning to the moment when I arrived at the table and neither one was aware of me. I like that moment best. And I ask myself why that moment? Why not the moment of our first embrace? All I can think of is that is the moment when I fully realized my creation. It was my open heart and trusting spirit that allowed the Holy Spirit to choregraph this perfect moment.
When I found my home in the Monastery I specifically set out to Temecula to meet the Monk…not Ken. I wanted to show my appreciation for the enormous labor of love and community the Monk was building. Meeting him made the Monastery all the more real for me. I met a few people that weekend (some regular attendees at the workshop) who were unfamiliar with the Monks contribution. Here was this beautiful spirit within their midst and they were completely unaware of his presence. Although they checked out his site upon my informing them they never engaged in becoming part of the community. I thought that was odd. This was as close to heaven on earth and why not be a part of something that brings comfort and joy until we awaken? I can see now that I have a significant need to feel a part of something bigger. Although I always prided myself as a fringe dweller, having no desire to be slowed down by the maintanance of building a community, most of my earthly pursuits would contradict that statement. I can see how I real want there to be a heaven on earth. I want to love here while in an earthly body without an ounce of fear in my heart. I believe I’m still confused as to what that is supposed to look like. Healthy boundaries have always been an issue for me. I believe that is why I come here each day to learn how to love and let go.
So I have a real need to meet you all and hug you for real…there I said it. One day I may feel differently but for now its really important. Having said that, I hope you stop by on your way home from Temecula and give me one more hug Katrina.
Hey today is 10-10-10 ! Something cool about that right!
Enjoy,
Annie
Annie and Katrina, thanks!!!! Another great Sunday, you made my day today.
What a fabulous thing that you met and had the opportunity to be together for some hours. I was so joyous reading all this that I felt transported to where you are.
Katrina, its so wonderful what you are sharing about the Temecula workshop that I hope you can share it all with us. We are going to be impatience waiting for your posts.
Annie loved all your post, I felt you were in front of me saying all these things, and me, too, I have a real need to meet you all and give you a very big hug.
As Annie said: 10-10-10, a memorable Sunday.
Lots of love and lots of hugs.
Lisi
Annie –
You know that Katrina is right. How could anyone not feel lighter in spirit when you walk up to them to give them their nursing care ? (: and i love the story of how you, Mark and Katrina met. Like Lisi, I felt I was there.
And I love the way you love the moment before either of them realized you wre there, enjoying the warmth of the moment and your heart. Aaah, Annie – you truly are a blessing to us all.
And lastly, you can also read minds (:…. i am slowly disappearing (: (and many thanks to Bernard for authorizing my post with that name !!), i’m losing interest in the story called anil, and i find my love, if i can call it that, growing with every thing that melts away in that solid block of thoughts and beliefs of what the world, and i, would call “anil”.
but i hope to be here in this village for many long times to come, and with your blessings and the spirit of all the lovely people here, it brings me closer each day (or at least most days (: – to experiencing what must be the flawlessness of eternity.
love,
a
Just glancing quickly through your ponderings, I love to follow all your lives, your thoughts… I’ll have to find a little more time to go through them. I’ve been spending a lot of time at the computer lately, so trying to take my eyes outside a little, doing other things. Actually reading some hard printout copy (‘books’). Loves to you all.
Hello Annie. I just finished catching up on reading everyone’s ponderings in the Village. I was moved to write you although I’m not sure what I will say :::smile:::. I am having so many mixed feelings right now. Love for your words and your ability to open your heart so easily and fully to others and to be so trusting. And so much sorrow for my inability to do that. I was raised not to feel or at least not to show my feelings. My mother never did. We really did not know what love meant as we never heard the word. Nor were we hugged or shown any affection–that is until we moved to my uncle’s farm in Saskatchewan (Lintlaw ’cause I know you like to look these things up ;-)) But by that time I was so angry and so hurt (as I mentioned before, my father left my family when I was around four or five) that I could not let myself be surrounded in that. It has taken a long, long time to allow myself to feel. I am grateful for my daughter and my grandchildren as I did allow myself to love and be loved by them. And my brothers and sisters as well, although they would tell you that they don’t really know me at all. So now at 65 not only am I working my way through a path that tells us none of this is real and that we really are surrounded in God’s love, I am also working my way through ‘form’ and all it’s feelings so that I can truthfully connect with my brother. It’s confusing and painful but even as I write these words I begin to feel–very slightly–a lifting because I’ve shared something with someone and I never would have done that before. I began to put this in an email to you but now have decided that if I am going to allow myself to heal on all levels, then I have to trust that my heart will be held gently by all in the Village. I am so pleased that Katrina had the opportunity to meet with you and Mark and I look forward as well to the time when I have that opportunity as well–whenever that may be. Hugs to all, D.
Pumpkins, it feels like this day everyone has come together in an even more intimate way than before – or is it just that we are becoming more and more sensitive to the Love that is always there? veils are melting.
I have been enjoying myself in a beautiful practice: really embracing you all, one by one, and enjoying the different flavor in all the embraces.
Yesterday, I had a warped sight and perception, and a phonetalk with my daughter became filled with yelling(hers) – and I asked for help and and prayed to have the situation blessed, and s l o w l y we could listen and not argue – a big intimate silence happened – and then >i heard her say “Mamma” with such a tenderness that I haven’t heard for years.
I think, how wonderful it would have felt to be able to scream at your mother when i lived with my parents. I kind of enjoy allowing the screaming – that must mean that she trust me, after all – and when we hang up, I have lots to think about, taking in how scared i still am of not being right, of feeling so guilty about that her childhood was hell, as she said.
But as I myself has seen that my mother was clueless i n acting another way, and seeing her fear, I hope that my daughter will stop blaming me for her hell too – and when i think in those banes (?) something inside smiles and tells me” the guilt has gone, Sweetie, you might not pick it up again.”
…
a – I got the impulse some moths ago to start calling myself 9 in the lightcave. the cipher 9 is pronounced nee in Norwegian – like the first syllable in my name. I now see that it was smart to tell you this 🙂 otherwise you would have no idea of what that 9 was all about.
I suddenly remember a recurring dream – I am climbing the Cheops pyramid, (done that in real life) but now it has a steep path, spiraling up to the top.
On the top is the cipher 9 – the quality of the cipher 9, numerologically – and the vibration feels exquisite. I feel so HOME on that top. What a nice memory that is – feeling Home at the top of the pyramid.
Oh DonnaD with the lovely tree…Thank you for sharing. That was beautiful.
I agree with Nina it does seem more intimate. Thanks for the updates Katrina and Annie.
Dear Donna, thanks for sharing all this with us, I agree with Nina, as Pam does, that “it does seem more intimate”. I think, using the metaphor of the onion, that we are peeling layer by layer of our own onion just to discover that all onions are the same. And we are discovering this, because we have a place like the Village and we had a place like the Monastery, where this peeling began, at least for me. Something very startling poured from your post. You feel you are incapable to love, and all what you have done at the Monastery and here at the Village is pouring the most beautiful love over all of us. I know this is not only my feeling but the feeling of us all. You have been invaluable in my process as, since the Monastery, I could recognize myself in all your sharings. Really happy to have you here again.
Nina, what you said about the intimacy in this Village is very true. The trust we have in each other is really beautiful. Really like your ponder about the conversation with your daughter, here again, as you said, we are just repeating the same old movie life after life, same movie, different characters. The good news are that now we have the opportunity to look at these films through Jesus eyes, as you did.
Pam, thank you. You truly warm my heart. Your down to earth wisdom takes me back to my roots on the farm and although it was difficult, there was a peace there that I miss very much in the city. I think of you as my country sister and I am grateful for you and your wise words.
Nina, it is so. I think in my case I have decided to go beyond my fear and show myself as I am. If not here, where?
Lisi, thank you, too. It is not that I could not love—I was just afraid to show it for fear of being hurt. I know for me, the healing started at the Monastery. It wasn’t total by any means but I did dip my toe in and then stood back to see what would happen. It was truly a beginning for me. Yesterday I had a “down on my knees” moment and didn’t know if I could come out of it. Then out of the blue someone unexpectedly sent me an email with an offer to help me. Someone who couldn’t have known what was happening to me. At first I panicked—fear of showing my fear. And then today I thought, yes, I will accept. I then read something that someone wrote after they had spent some time at one of Ken’s workshops. She said—and the remainder is a quote: “Lesson 169 says that “Grace is acceptance of the Love of God within a world of seeming hate and fear. By grace alone the hate and fear are gone, for grace presents a state so opposite to everything the world contains, that those whose minds are lighted by the gift of grace can not believe the world of fear is real.”(W-169). She continues: “As we look at the world with total acceptance, we come to see that every situation is perfect because it’s for us. The right minded way of looking at the world is that it’s for our use. Its only purpose is to help us become aware of our true nature. We can use every situation to lead ourselves out of suffering or root us further into it. So divorce, disease, war, loss, death, don’t happen to us; but for us. We also understand that for others so when things happen to our loved ones, we see them as opportunities and not catastrophes. By looking at the world with a clear mind, we empower everyone we come in contact with to make the choice for peace for themselves. By our own acceptance of what is, we let others know that they also can choose to rise above suffering. W-135:18-1 reminds us of this, “What could you not accept, if you knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?” And that One is you!”
This then reminded me of something Chief Joseph said in his surrender speech: “Hear me, my chiefs. I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.” And I have decided that this will now be my mantra. “I will fight no more forever.” I am tired of trying to make my world work the way I want it to. Each day I will begin my day with these words and I will move through my day doing the best I can to forgive whatever is presented to me that day. And I will hold His hand and trust. And I am grateful for all of you. And dear Bernard. Warmest hugs to all. Love (truly), Donna.
I will fight no more forever, too.
Love me some DD – Howdy!
All week long, I thought about one of my favorite lines:
“You share confusion and you are confused, for in the gap, no stable self exists.”
{DonnaD}
I bless this sacred space. In deepest gratitude I recognise a great undoing. Each in are own way, sometimes openly, sometimes privately. No matter its all good.
Yesterday ended up being a powerful day for me in so many ways and when I can I will share that personal shift but suffice it to say that all the postings and sharings I found here this morning feel like a “Golden Thread of Hope”. I think we are all in sync with Ken’s lecture.
My sweet DonnaD you did right to open up here. This is a safe space. And I know that wasn’t easy to put out there. And how we love you all the more for trusting us and showing us that it is ok to set down these heavy burdens of illusion. I love your mantra. And I too look forward to the energy that will be available to me when I stop fighting when I stop resisting. I think Jesus was on to something when he told us to just be still and observe (:
Each posting is a shining light and I now join in spreading only the light and love of our Creator.
I musta done something good to be able to find myself in such a “stellar” group!
Sweetness and Light for EveryOne – This round is my treat! 😉
And you truly warm my heart also DonnaD. Your post #1042 made my eyes well-up with happiness; for this last week I could feel some little piece of something trying to come to the surface where I could see it more clearly and it was the question “Am I really all that trust worthy?” and your post made it pop out totally clear and it, along with the other responses, answered it with a resounding YES! If God can still totally trust me then maybe I can start to cut myself some slack and start trusting my Self also.
“Show the slightest willingness,and a thousand angels rush in to help.”
Thanks for the treat Anne. {{{everyone}}}
Wow, you guys just blow me away. I’ve been really moved by all your posts. Many, many thanks for allowing me into your lives, to share your thoughts, heartaches, and deeply spiritual moments, too.
I was particularly astonished to read Donna’s words echoing that lesson about Grace. In fact, I had decided over the past few days that I wanted to orient this site around this theme. I had been feeling its presence in the background of my life recently, and thought that we really don’t spend anytime allowing ourselves to be warmed by that marvelous promise of healing. We really all are of one mind, healing together, moving together along the path, taking off old baggage and casting it to the side, one package and suitcase at a time. We don’t need these old and haggard judgments and unforgivnesses anymore. They are a burden we can do without. Our tiring sensitivities, our out-dated recriminations, our familiar sense of weakness faced with certain judgmental people, our sense of imprisonment around those who suffer, we can place them down on the ground next to us and continue on lighter and happier. When we drop our parcels, we can take each other’s hands! Many thanks, Donna, for trusting us. You give wings to this place. Such a gift.
Boy, are we going to have a great time this Sunday! So much to talk about.
HUGE hugs, dear Anne. I love me some of you, too.♥
♥Bernard♥ ♥Pam♥ ♥Annie♥ ♥Lisi♥ ♥a♥
Thank you.
Nina, you said some really wonderful things in your post above 1039 that I didn’t see till now.
You said:
“when we hang up, I have lots to think about, taking in how scared i still am of not being right, of feeling so guilty about that her childhood was hell, as she said.
But as I myself has seen that my mother was clueless i n acting another way, and seeing her fear, I hope that my daughter will stop blaming me for her hell too – and when i think in those banes (?) something inside smiles and tells me” the guilt has gone, Sweetie, you might not pick it up again.”
I think it’s such an amazing moment in our lives when we can see that our parents were really clueless as you say. They were not good or bad, just totally confused. Probably a lot like us. I think Ken said that we really stop being children the day that we accept that our parents were first and foremost just confused human beings exactly like ourselves or anyone else. It’s when we stop see them as parents and start seeing them as true brothers and sisters that the healing really takes place. Nice work with your daughter. We’ve spoken a bit about father relations lately, and not so much about relations with mothers. I guess no one else has issues with their mom… (hehe) Don’t ask me about mine.