Garden
The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness
Love, too, would set a feast before you, on a table covered with a spotless cloth, set in a quiet garden where no sound but singing and a softly joyous whispering is ever heard. T-19.IV.A.16:1
“There is a garden at the foot of this lovely statue with masses and masses of soft white lilies and little paths between to slowly walk and talk with Jesus. There is a fountain nearby and the forever trickling sound of water reminds us to leave the desert of wrong-minded thinking.” (Winnie)
Forgiveness is truly at the heart of the practice of A Course In Miracles. All of us have had moments of shifting our perception of a difficult situation, and finding peace. On this page I offer you the space to tell us about the stories that have stayed in your mind, times when you felt a real change occur in the way you were looking at a problem or upset. Maybe you were encountering aggressiveness in somone, or were being judged and belittled. Perhaps it was a loved one who had left you, or even a pet that had died. Or maybe there was fear, a threat in your life to you or to a loved one. In all these situations, at one time or another you have found peace beyond the pain, release from shame and sadness, and comfort and freedom in their place. There was always a presence there with you, the company of one who loves you and guides you to see differently. If you have had moments of finding that clear presence, please share it with us here.
A little more technically speaking, these would be moments when you reversed the projection and saw that the problem was not outside you, but with you, your perceptions and thoughts. A sudden moment of clarity perhaps when you saw that the upset was having pushed Love away, and not really what was happening outside you. Or perhaps it was just a moment when despite the upset or problem, you felt safely accompanied and that helped you remain unaffected by the problem, to get a little distance from it.
Please try to write concisely if your story requires a lot of explaining (and teach me something about brevity!). Also, please try to share from the heart and not from the head. It is always nice to hear the simple sincerity behind these inspiring stories.
We have very small ants here in Nebraska we call them sugar ants cause they prefer sweet food like fruits and the sap on peonie flower buds. In fact the peonies can’t bloom if the ants don’t eat the sticky sap off the bud first.
Sorry you have been feeling bad; glad you find the forgiveness.
I’ve just been feeling bland,blah and bored. I keep reminding myself bored is blockage look, look, look, forgive,forgive,forgive.
Pam – “Sorry you have been feeling bad; glad you find the forgiveness.” – when i read this, I heard your voice as clear as you were in this room-
I am very moved by that – the non-distance-thing –
bless you, beloved family
nattinattiall
Nina
Yes, distance is starting to disappear more and more often isn’t it? (-:
Morning Everyone and a special thank you to Nina and Pam for their ant talk (:
It just made me smile thinking of Pam thinking about the Norway ants envisioning Nina up in the land of Norge observing herself observing her ant problem. What we believe is big ends up being infinitesimally small yet their loyalty and purpose is crystal clear. Maybe that is what gets our attention that something so small can disrupt a giants’ day simply because they stay loyal to their path. Damn you Truth!
Oh and I never knew that about peonies Pam! That is one of my most favorite of flowers. I still remember the first time I came across a peony when I was up in Oregon. It stopped me in my tracks.
How ya doing Jean? Did you have your yard sale? When are you leaving for New York?
I have been in a quiet place lately and then todays lesson speaks of …”This is a day of silence and of trust.” and I find myself getting all chatty here. Which can only mean something has been exposed!!! Maybe that ray of light did reach the depth of my self imposed darkness and illuminated the spark of joy that I’m told can not be extinguished?
Hmmm I better sit still and think about that for a while.
p.s. When is Lawrence coming back?
June 14th, if memory serves me right (:
Its so nice to read these posts… I too have been experiencing moments of blandness etc… and needing to withdraw… due to realizing that i look to the Village more than my family and friends even, to give me love when i need it. I dont normally feel the need for hugs etc…. but i feel a bit lost and i am embarrassed to say lonely today… this morning.
I am in Toowoomba, the second biggest city in Queensland en route to pick up forwarded mail. I woke in the night to hear a critter in the little van and i was so frightened, i wondered if i should call 000 { our version of 911] but i knew that was just my terror of being shut in a tiny space with a rat, mouse, bandicoot or whatever.
I put the light on but then i was afraid if i saw it, i would scream so loudly that it might alarm others nearby, so i put the light off again and lay there remembering that i set this all up yada yada…..I went back to sleep and amazingly woke up with a smile on my face,,,,, but now a couple of hours later, i feel inexplicably sad and damn it, i am sharing it with you guys coz i just want to be loved and comforted.
In the last week, there have been times when i have felt so entirely full of not -knowing -what- anything- means, that i have felt like a squidgy bowl of jelly that rolled out of a bowl, or as vapourless as puff of smoke and as shallow and meaningless as a cardboard cutout.
I feel very insecure right now and frightened i think because last night when i was so afraid of the invisible intruder, and doing my best to do my practice, i experienced a tiny shred of doubt that the Course wasnt true, that it was lying to me. My hands are shaking as i write that. I have never heretofore had any doubts……………………………..
Having written that, and this is the beauty of the written and shared word, I realize i NEEDED to glimpse that doubt because it must have always been there, smugly hidden.
So now i am glad and humbled that all this has enabled me to see doubts i didnt even know i had…..
p.s. If it turns out to be an Echidna { spiny ant-eater} and i could figure out how to capture it, i could take it along with me to the Post Office today and send it express to Norway !
winnie … wonderful precious dearly adored winnie … my goodness … please know that I am with you … I’ll catch that critter for you … I’ll scoop whatever it is up and release him to be an outside entity … you are such a darling … I don’t want you to be feeling sad or lonely … I want you to be on your vision quest of an adventure … maybe of course all these feelings are part of the vision quest experience … as the bumper sticker says “oh no! not another learning opportunity!” … hope just writing it out helped somehow calm and clarify the possibilities … am wishing you well … am seeing you as divinely guided to peace … wishing you joy … love you very much … always am looking forward to our next romp around wherever we may play again!! love you
oh thank you zafu ! I just needed that hug and love so much… thank you thank you thank you….. ….
Dear Dear Winnie!
I hate critters too! Talk about being kind! That was very thoughtful of you to shut the light because if you saw it – you would scream and disturb the others!
As far as having doubts about the Course – have no fear, dear Winnie. I have them all the time when things are just not going well (in my perception.) 🙂 I tell J/HS exactly what I think of the Course – ask Them to lead me to the Truth – ask to be joined with Their Love…(even while knowing a part of “me” wants nothing to do with It)…and I always get an experience to “end my doubting….” – until the next time! It’s all okay – J/HS – in looking with me – are teaching me that this is just what split minds do! Until the Atonement is accepted once and for all. It’s not horrible, sinful, or a reason to be guilty – just a little bit silly is all!
I listened to Jaime’s class “Beauty” again. When he talks about his “hammock experience” – I can so relate to it. He said it’s a metaphor for going back and forth between the choice for the right mind and the choice for the ego. He said that “just being with the wrong mind” – without justifying or denying or trying to force a change in perception taught him that the memory of Love, not of this world in our right mind is just waiting patiently for our choice. It is in getting through the darkness (of doubt, etc.) which is nothing more than a mistaken choice in the mind that the experience of Love awaits us. He said just getting from any of the form – back to the decision making non temporal mind – gets us to where the Answer is. Once we are back in the mind, it’s not long until the choice for the right mind will be made. It’s just all part of the process.
I actually was able to do that this past weekend – get from the form – back to the mind – “wait patiently” and the problem in form was/is seen as just a classroom – not a catastrophe! You will get through the darkness too, Winnie. Just continue doing exactly what you are doing – and thank you for sharing with us.
Love and Gratitude to you and all.
melody
{{{Winnie}}}}
Sending more huggggggssss and thank you Winnie for reminding us to ask for them when needed.
Hugs to all and 7 sleeps till the 14th (:
Oh {{{{Winniekins}}} I just love the clarity of how you show what “looking” looks like.
More love and hugs and some for the {{{critters}}} too. I think bandicoots are cute.(-:
Winnie – I wish I had a private jet to fly to Australia right now to give you a big hug in person !! I hope you have a splendid day in Toowomba, and I’m told that Lawrence is waiting to give you a hug too !! (:
I wonder if it’s something in the air? I spent the day of June 6 mostly in judgement and ego. It was not a fun place to be. I TRIED to return to the right mind but I musta been very attached to thoughts of separation because I could not maintain it. Finally just before I left work for the day I read something about acceptance and I figured I might as well just accept my judgy thoughts because they were not going away. Ta Da! A short time later
a peaceful mind. Thanks for the Hammock story Melody.
Winnie, how you echo my own thoughts sometime. It’s so easy to know I’m really not alone on this path when I read sharings like that. I think that little critter was the bat in my mind! You picked up on it all the way over in the land of Oz – we really are joined as one! It was so soothing just to read your words. So funny how just plain ol’ quiet honesty can be an invitation to self-forgiveness, giving ourselves less of a hard time when our practice doesn’t go along as peacefully as we think it should. How wonderful, how really wonderful, that it really doesn’t have to be a smooth, faultless ride home. What’s a good ride in the country, anyway, without a few bumps? Huge hugs to you from not-so-far-away.
I swear we are all one big lump of mind, meeting doubts and critters. Winnie, just send the anteater etherically please – ( the correction program suggested hysterically and esoterically) I am sure he will get here.
I LOVE that you spotted the doubt about the Course. They are becoming real visible now, haven’t they – the doubts. it reminds me one day when a guy in the phone was telling me that he just lost a screw – he had one loose – and i found a screw in front of my feet, right there and then. (He did not take my offer to send it to him, though. Ungrateful bastard. Me, I happily receive an anteater.)
This night I lay listening to the big chorus of voices of everything I thought was important. Voices I believed in. This morning, I wondered what chained me to that choir – and when I asked the voices, I heard that they were convinced that they were guilty.
Suddenly it fell into place: of course it makes sense to be clever and help others and “use my resources” – sure! Nothing wrong with that- but the huge pressure came from me giving the voices validity by believing that I in fact paid off guilt by each person I “helped”, by each creative “product” I made. I fed that guilt and pressure by believing that it could be paid off.
But by believing that it is possible to pay off guilt, I am keeping guilt real and alive in my mind. That makes me laugh – what a silly thing to do!
I am seeing the image of a brook – it trickles freely and joyfully towards the sea, and boom, a big boulder lands in the brook and forces it to take new directions. Instead of cursing the block, and fretting about what “could have been,” I can choose to see that the new directions the brook took, forced me to find the darkness in my mind and childhood, and dealing with it in ways that has hugely enriched my life – and hundreds of others, I would like to think.
Now all I have to do when the onslaught of chaos thoughts come, is to remind myself gently that I am believing it is possible to pay off guilt by doing the right thing – and forgive myself for that.
And leave the rest to Holy Spirit.
so if i helped somebody here by this a forgive myself
Awesome, absolutely fabulous lines from Nina – refrigerator stuff: “But by believing that it is possible to pay off guilt, I am keeping guilt real and alive in my mind. That makes me laugh – what a silly thing to do! … Now all I have to do when the onslaught of chaos thoughts come, is to remind myself gently that I am believing it is possible to pay off guilt by doing the right thing – and forgive myself for that.”
May I lose a screw in a similar way today.
I really feel that the whole tone of this page (Garden) has shifted since it was renamed. So many thanks to Winnie for that beautiful suggestion.
Yeaaa! Nina! What I like is if I’m struggling to find words to discribe what’s going on with me someone else usually posts about the same issue and pow clarity happens. (-:
Nina – Was it the music playing in the background as I read your post, or my son sitting in my arms, or the smooth flow of your writing, or all of the above in some magical fusion that allowed your words to flow from the screen into my mind, smooth, steady and fully transferred, with out a missing drop or beat, like water pouring out of a jug into the cup ?
Thank you,
love,
a
ps. Bernard – Winnie is like that. A great learner, and a great teacher, and she takes us to the next level every time she writes here !!
wow guys what can i say…. your love – your support – your kindness…..I love you all so much
{ walks off through the lilies with a shovel and the body of the poor little wild bush rat}
Now we know why its called “The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness” one can only enter with lillies and a shovel. (:
What can I say, Winnie? You’re right, we really are something else. Hehe.
Good Morning Gang!
I just posted this on course_talk, and thought I’d copy and paste it for our village!
Happy weekend and love to all!
Lesson 161
Give me your blessing, holy Son of God.
This continues to be a meaningful lesson for me in and with my process. There
was much “discussion” regarding this here on C T a few months back – and
immediately following this, at the April Academy in Temecula – this was the
lesson Ken discussed at length.
Hmmmm…there are no “accidents” – and “I” continue to observe my
interpretations/perceptions in the myriad of forms the content of this lesson
presents. 🙂
These (below) are some notes *I wrote – right on the lesson page in the blue
book while in Temecula, and being that this is today’s lesson, I am prompted to
share them here.
Without the specifics of form, we’d never get back to the decision making mind.
Don’t exclude anything! Enjoying chocolate cake as well as what “pushes our
buttons.”
Choosing in the mind is non specific. Don’t try to make any feeling go away.
Stay with the pain. It’s not easy. Remember it’s a choice made in the timeless
mind. The body and brain are programmed to NOT understand. Things are not what
they seem. It’s always about the decision made in the non temporal mind.
“I” is the blue circle. Trust the willingness to be shown. EVERYTHING in this
world is a symbol. Joy and pain come from a timeless place.
Page 481 (text) – “No trace of anything in time can long remain in a mind that
serves the timeless.”
*Note – “blue circle” is the symbol in form that Ken uses to illustrate the
decision maker. It is always quite an experience to watch Ken in action with
his infamous chart – and placing the “blue circle” back and forth from the right
mind to the wrong mind as he exemplifies the process. It clicks fairly loudly –
and continues to be instrumental through the years in my becoming aware of my
choices – made on a timeless level!
*I – for the last several weeks – have not blamed anything or anyone outside for
my reactions or feelings. Even last night, when I thought our treadmill was
broken. (I have a very special relationship with it.) That’s not to say I
don’t get upset and have some strong backlash – yet it is saying that *I no
longer fault what I would’ve sworn in the past is accountable. *I – as a
decision making mind – am responsible for EVERY “version” of what *I think *I
see; – and for me – that’s some measurable progress. Even tho to “measure” can
be considered antithetical! Lol….What a great example of attempting to use
symbols of symbols twice removed to explain the “unexplainable!”
“I am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I would experience, and I decide
upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me
I ask for, and receive as I have asked.” (text p. 448)
The “trick” is to realize who’s the “I” that is responsible…… 🙂
As per usual I didn’t see this post by Melody before I starting my morning contemplation. And what a perfect answer to my question….”I am responsible for what I see”.
Who is this “I”
I keep avoiding that question.
Lol….as per usual, *I didn’t see this til after I posted!!!!!
We really are one mind getting it together methinks! 🙂
PS – “Who’s the I” is what we all are so resistant – wait – I’ll speak for myself *I am so resistant to “I am not a body. I am free. I am still as God created me.”
The Course spends over 1600 pages teaching us we’re not a body – and *we can’t possibly learn the lesson as a body! That’s why – for me – getting beyond the intellectual understanding (beyond the brain/intellect) is when I started to – albeit seeming very slowly….ask myself that question!
Wow, thanks Annie – as I leave for the day, obviously this was important for me to learn with you today!
🙂
I got to experierence the decision maker the other day. My partner said something that I reacted to with anger shouting F…. You. Immediatedy after saying the words I felt “something” in the area of my brain, the anger dissolved and I was in a different state of mind. It is the first time that I felt a decision being made at the mind level and then me(as body) being at the effect of emotion or something slse. The sensation of being a puppet was very strong that day.
We’re heading off to camp in the mountains for the weekend so happy days everyone.
Bev, that’s awesome. It’s so cool when we actually feel something in our minds triggering, and the thought afterward is like, wow, I really did have a choice there. And often it seems like just realizing that is making the choice to be peaceful. I’ve heard it said often that if we could just get back to the decision-making mind and see the choice we’re making, then we automatically choose peacefulness because we’re more attracted to that than to pain. If we’re still choosing pain, it seems that it’s because we haven’t really got back all the way to that totally unjudging place of choice.
Today I’ve been making my way very slowly, very slowly, back to that place! I’m up against some challenges in my outside world that traditionally push buttons for me and get me to question my sanity and self-worth. Which is just another way of saying that this is one of my favorite areas for feeling that God doesn’t love me and He’s the one who kicked me out of heaven. Basically, it ain’t my fault!
I have to make some money and work decisions and I easily feel that I’m not capable of making any good decision here. Which gets me to look a little deeper, and then I see that there’s this kind of background ‘hum’ which says ‘this will always be a difficult area in your life, work and money are just scarce, and that’s the way it is. You know this world is painful and difficult.’ So I shake my head and say, whoa, that’s some serious programming you’ve given yourself there, buddy. And what if it’s not like that at all? Why would that be so difficult to accept? And the answer comes back, ‘because that’s the way it is!’ but that’s just B.S. The real answer is that I don’t want there NOT to be any kind of problem in this world. A part of me which is hanging on to feeling like ‘me’ seriously still needs some kind of problem area. If there were absolutely no problems at all, if everything just kind of drifted into this amazing state of harmony and well-being, then there is a whole lot less substance to BG (that’s me).
So I try to hold these money and work problems at a slight distance and say, they have nothing whatsoever to do with what you’re feeling, this heaviness and anxiety. You’re just using them as a convenient excuse to explain what you’re feeling and why. Don’t believe it. You’re just feeling this way because you’re out of your mind, okay, out of your right mind. Certainly out of the Love of God. You don’t really care about these money and work issues, not really. In fact, a part of you is still splendidly happy and joyful right now because it is deeply embraced within the comfort of eternity, outside of any danger or lack or need to consolidate a ‘meaningful social activity’ (whatever that is!). Don’t use these things (or anything else) to project your feelings of separation on to. You don’t need to do that anymore. Just remember that Love is here and perfectly present for you right now, and it will be at every moment in the future, too. That’s all.
So I look at those words and say, Cool. Okay.
And then the niggly thoughts return.
And then I think again – if I have a choice, do I really need to continue giving myself a hard time, especially when i know that these thoughts aren’t even really correct?
It reminds me of something interesting Bob Draper said the other day… “The solution is not to fix your problems. The solution is to look at yourself worrying about your problems which are not your problems at all but the problems of your dream figure.” He also said that problems are just circumstances to deal with, nothing more. They have nothing to do with your happiness or well-being. Cool.
Hi All,
Eating my dinner here and my daughter is away for 2 nights – she graduated 8th grade and is ‘party’ mode! I appreciated reading ‘Who is the I’ and also Annie’s comment connecting it to ‘I am responsible for what I see.’ So now I can say ‘Who is the I that is responsible for what I see? This segues perfectly with my reading today from ‘The Journey Home.’ I just started reading this book and on page 10 it quotes from the text: T.6.IV.1-3 — but I got caught where is says at T.6.IV.2.6&7 “The ego, then raised the first question that was every asked, but one it can never answer. That question, “What are you?” was the beginning of doubt.
So thought I’d just ad this to the lineup! :o) Not sure why this was the first question. I think the reason ego cannot answer it though is because we are the Decision Maker and ego just can’t go there!! Be happy to hear anyone else’s input though!
Peace,
Jean W.
Good morning all!
Jean, I’m going to take a stab at this.
“The ego, then raised the first question that was every asked, but one it can never answer. That question, “What are you?” was the beginning of doubt.”
melody: I’m thinking that asking that is the “tiny mad idea” which comes from the decision maker being joined with the ego thought system.
Jean: I think the reason ego cannot answer it though is because we are the Decision Maker and ego just can’t go there!! Be happy to hear anyone else’s input though!
Peace,
melody: I would say that we are always and only decision making minds – or “dreamers of the dream” – of being a body in a world of form. That being said – in every moment – we are either joined with the right mind through our decision (made in the mind, outside of time and space) – or we, as decision making minds are joined with the wrong mind or ego thought system. When we are joined with the ego thought system (which for me is most of the time) nothing makes sense. It is only in using our feelings, perceptions, interpretations as a compass of what is going on in our mind, outside of time and space – that allows us to step back. The “holy instant” I’m thinking is realizing “I don’t like the way I’m feeling (or perceiving) now” and there must be a better way.
The wrong mind (ego) and the right mind (memory of love, symbolized by J/HS) are mutually exclusive – and *we are choosing in every moment either one or the other.
That’s my 2.22 worth, am interested in others. 🙂
Love and Gratitude to you all,
melody
Thanks, Melody – that makes sense that that question was ‘the tiny mad idea’ – the start of it all! And the rest of your post, too. I was thinking along the lines of the ego not wanting us to even return to the Decision Maker – else we just might choose against ego. It can get so ‘mind-boggling’ though! :o)
I changed my picture – by cropping Ken out! LOL — but I didn’t crop him out of my mind! It is just I love this picture of me because I am standing with/in ‘Love’ – so now I am thinking it can be ‘symbolic’ of me returning home – but if you look real closely – Ken’s ‘ear’ is in the upper left corner!! I think this is a good analogy and one I’m going to stick with!
Love,
Jean
You are absolutely right Jean – the ego does NOT want us to return to the decision maker where we can make another choice!
Love the new picture AND the symbolism of Ken’s ear – Great!!!!
Leaving for my dad’s 90th birthday party!
Happy weekend to all,
m
Ohh Jean that is just wonderful-the symbolism-the timing-the absolute perfection of the message your new gravatar represents!
Melody your dad turning 90!!! I’m sure the celebration was just Beautiful.
Did you all light up 90 candles or just a candle that says 90?
Did he tell you what he wished for?
Decision makers are so easy to buy for (:
I’m guessing he desired nothing and instead showered you all in love and gratitude.
Bev and Bernard I really appreciated your putting into words how you observed your decision maker in action. I’m tempted to say that I think I’m getting a glimpse of the undoing process by reading how you experience it…it’s not easy to spell out so thank you. And of course it’s easier to see someone else going thru the process …almost like watching a film in slow motion -seems like plenty of time to make the right choice if I could freeze frame my thought process and just catch the moment when I entertained that smidgeon of doubt. I too would be like Winnie walking through the garden of lillies with a shovel in one hand and doubt/fear/bush rat in the other.
I’m hanging in the garden a lot these days. Struggling to write my thoughts. Can’t even go back and finish my conversations on the previous page about art (abstract vs. realism) but a quick thank you for all your feedback. Feeling scattered yet very still. Probably I’m in the vicinity of the Decision Maker-very unfamiliar territory.
Interesting times and like I tell my kids…make good choices 🙂
Ha!
That’s annoying advice…until it isn’t.
xoxo Annie
Annie, this was one of those times i wandered through your post and when at the other end, i felt i had made a long and wonderful refreshing walk through a beautiful and diverse landscape. Very rewarding feeling – and i felt like i owed nobody nuttin. Freed, like. very rewarding indeed.
I saw lars von Trier’s Melancholia yesterday. I always feel such a tremendous love and innocence exuding from that man and his work. This film was awesome in its beauty. My eyes were constantly bathing in the scenes and landscapes he paints.
I love that he shows me my innocence. I feel gratitude brimming when witnessing how we are, and the Love just beneath it, so very tenderly present. In fact, i just mailed him my gratitude – I hope the film-company will deliver it!
Anybody seen “the idiots”? that dissolved a ton of old judgments from me _ seeped with unfathomable tenderness that it is for human clumsiness.
warm hugs to all
Nina
Nina, is “the idiots?, the name of a movie? re. 585
Also re.566 The paying off guilt ponder is still working with me. I can see how my “People pleasing” tendencies is a way that I tried to pay off guilt and how it represents the guilt of having seemingly displeased God, more and more everyday. Look and let go, look and forgive. Hugs
Annie: I’m guessing he desired nothing and instead showered you all in love and gratitude.
melody: That’s basically it, Annie! He is grateful to “be alive” is what he kept saying!
It was a delightful party – until the very end when my two year old grandson Graeme – who was downstairs with the other kids, grabbed an empty beer bottle, broke it, cut his hand and face – and had to be taken to the emergency room! Two+ hours and five stitches in the crease of his hand later (no stitches anywhere else) he arrived safely home with his parents, very proud of his new bandages! Six year old Ella (big sister was very upset when they left for the hospital) was calm…and all was well…..in this illusion of form….until the next time!
And a part of me still thinks the dream can give me a fairy tale ending…..ah…but then there’s the other part!
Practice – practice – practice!
Love and Gratitude to all~
Pam, to 586 yes, the Idiots is a von Trier film – don’t know what it is called in English. Its’ about a group of young people who are living out an experience of finding their inner “idiots” while living together – being completely committed to their roles – and what happens in that experiment.I think it was very much improvised – so we really saw much of what happened to the actors within the experiment.
I just re-visited an advice from Jamie, in one of my many notebooks. I felt a bit dizzy after some red wine and a great chicken-in red wine-pot, and wanted to find a notice that i could use right NOW. It said “64” so i found note 64, and read: “The process, practice and integration of the Course is forgiving ourselves for NOT processing, practicing and integration of the Course. Bloomin’ funny that is.”
Melody, Glad all turned out well.
Nina, here’s a little woo for you. I was on skype with Laura and we had just got done talking about how helpful your “paying off guilt” ponder was and as if on cue you came on skype too. Less and less space and time eh? We laughed happily about the timing.(-:
Pammie, i love woos. And especially when i am part of it!
My daughter has just been away to England for some 14 days with her beau. i got a mail from her, and answered in a way that made myself anxious. I could not put a finger upon what it was, but it felt like something obnoxious was between us. Then i read in my little note-books ” Only to let go of all forms of guilt will cure what ails me.” It instantly lightened my mood and physical condition: just like a reminder ” Nina, you believe there is guilt between you, and you are trying to find out what bad thing you did and apologize so everything can be OK again.”
Oh that was a such a relief – to just SEE this old pattern, fishing for me. But I declined. Now I feel the weirdest stomachache – but that is really OK. I am just going to suit down and allow His Love to shine through it.
Nina, another fabulous line from you: “Nina, you believe there is guilt between you, and you are trying to find out what bad thing you did and apologize so everything can be OK again.” You’re on a roll! I just love it when forgiveness becomes so amazingly simple… We just see where we’re feeling strangely uncomfortable, see that there is underneath some type of judgment about ourselves, then let it go as something silly. Someone mentioned recently about ‘people pleasers’, all of us who think ‘what’ve I done?!’ as soon as someone else is not as happy as we think they should be. That’s traditionally me 100%. It has been a long haul just learning, as Ken says over and over and over (and over)… what does that have to do with you? People are upset for their own reasons, it’s so impossible to know what the specifics are, but we ALWAYS know what the general reason is: no one can be disturbed unless he feels a separation within his mind from divine Love. That’s so helpful to me, especially with family. Maybe because family always think it’s okay to feel uncomfortable, and to show it, with other family members. Often friends hold it back, but family seems to show it so easily, almost like you represent to them an opportunity to show how uncomfortable they feel about something (which is okay, not a sin). Still, I hope there was nothing serious going on between you and your daughter.
Melody, sorry to hear that the little ‘un hurt himself. Guess we just can’t protect others, ultimately, from hurting themselves. Then again, coming here in the first place was our decision to experience discomfort! What a bitch. Till it’s okay. And then we see that something within them is never really suffering – that’s trickier! But that’s where we’re all going. I was thinking about that the other day and found the idea so beautiful, that no matter the terribly hurtful and painful scenes we see before us, there is something serenely unsuffering standing right behind the anguish.
Peace to everyone today…
A Morning Bow to my most loyal of friends.
A modern day touchstone this keyboard is ~ connecting our One Mind.
Words escape me at times and this is one of those times. There is a lot going on in my psyche and like some kind of reality show I want to narrate the whole thing and keep you all up to date but its just impossible. I have to trust that when the timing is right I will write. And already I know that of those I call friends in this world you are the ones that don’t need me to explain or give you the play by play action because its all meaningless anyway.
Still its important to honor the guests at my front door as Rumi puts it. And I am a bit busy entertaining them (it’s the Martha Stewart in me that wants to make sorrow look attractive…I know shoot me now!!!) Sorrow and Joy seem like the best of buddies, identical twins if you will that only a mother can tell apart. I can see why HS wants me to take the time to sit with them both- he claims that the differences are glaring.
I must put the water on and prepare the tea now but before I go as always may I say I am grateful for this Sacred Space and for all your daily devotions that help keep me strong in Faith. And a special thank you to Nina whose keen sense to smell the Truth dispelled the uncertainty I was clinging to. We are Free – we are forever Free! I didn’t even realize that’s what I was writing about.
Love, gratitude and Peace to All
Annie,
Couldn’t help but respond to your lovely, insightful, poetic posts of late. If you’re at loss for words, I couldn’t wait to hear your full expression. Just beautiful. I have an image of a butterfly (yeah, my symbol of pure love) whispering to the flowers, sharing its secrets, spreading joy in our village. Thanks for your presence.
Bernard, I love your line “that no matter the terribly hurtful and painful scenes we see before us, there is something serenely unsuffering standing right behind the anguish”.
Stuff is coming up for me during the morning coffee break with my coworkers.
This morning I felt that I was ignored. While running at Noon thinking about the situation I thought “Well I just won’t join them anymore!” And then a light bulb. This is the same as my relationship with God. I wanted special attention and when I didn’t get it I made the decision to leave. The rest of the run went well.
Hi Leni,Glad you and your butterfly could stop by.
Yes, Leni, thanks for fluttering by, so lovely to see you…
love how you cropped your gravatar and left Ken’s ear in, Jean – what a superb symbol…..and btw Katrina also loved your take on a*’s gravatar and how it matches Bev’s perfectly – tee hee..
speaking of images, i love the pretty butterflies here that silently “whisper to the flowers” and “spread joy to the Village”
happiest day of my life
sometimes we go on paths we did not plan to go on & have experiences and adventures we could never have anticipated
faced with challenges we never knew existed
the amazing part of all this is that through these unexpected encounters, we’ll discover some of the greatest accomplishments of our lives
successfully navigating uncharted territory leads us in to new places and new landscapes in our lives
we learn new levels of possibility and new dimensions of awareness
traumas and troubles and tough times become transformation agents revealing our inner strengths and divine nature
enormous joys and youthful enthusiasm encourages our progress
unlimited possibilities merge onto our path
good news or a kind word renews our spirit and inspires happy energy
a new landscape ripe with potential and loving assurances nurtures our experience and inspires creative explorations which lead to divine discoveries
we find beneath our feeling fragile is an incredible ability to endure
we find what seemed to be delicate has unfathomable resilience
we discover we are truly loved
we find kind helpers in the most unlikely and unexpected places
our vulnerable place of forced acceptance allows unexpected offers to appear
we don’t have to do anything to make things happen in a certain way (in fact it’s subtlety yet obviously very important that we don’t)
we allow the way to reveal itself
we follow this illumined path step by step, test by test, jump through each loop after loop
the atmosphere has become gracious and poignant even though nothing seems to be happening
there is a stillness … a calm
now things are growing, evolving, shifting, changing, healing, mending, helping, supporting our path to health and peace
freedom and release
our transporter has arrived
we begin the next chapter of our adventures
all is well