Garden
The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness
Love, too, would set a feast before you, on a table covered with a spotless cloth, set in a quiet garden where no sound but singing and a softly joyous whispering is ever heard. T-19.IV.A.16:1
“There is a garden at the foot of this lovely statue with masses and masses of soft white lilies and little paths between to slowly walk and talk with Jesus. There is a fountain nearby and the forever trickling sound of water reminds us to leave the desert of wrong-minded thinking.” (Winnie)
Forgiveness is truly at the heart of the practice of A Course In Miracles. All of us have had moments of shifting our perception of a difficult situation, and finding peace. On this page I offer you the space to tell us about the stories that have stayed in your mind, times when you felt a real change occur in the way you were looking at a problem or upset. Maybe you were encountering aggressiveness in somone, or were being judged and belittled. Perhaps it was a loved one who had left you, or even a pet that had died. Or maybe there was fear, a threat in your life to you or to a loved one. In all these situations, at one time or another you have found peace beyond the pain, release from shame and sadness, and comfort and freedom in their place. There was always a presence there with you, the company of one who loves you and guides you to see differently. If you have had moments of finding that clear presence, please share it with us here.
A little more technically speaking, these would be moments when you reversed the projection and saw that the problem was not outside you, but with you, your perceptions and thoughts. A sudden moment of clarity perhaps when you saw that the upset was having pushed Love away, and not really what was happening outside you. Or perhaps it was just a moment when despite the upset or problem, you felt safely accompanied and that helped you remain unaffected by the problem, to get a little distance from it.
Please try to write concisely if your story requires a lot of explaining (and teach me something about brevity!). Also, please try to share from the heart and not from the head. It is always nice to hear the simple sincerity behind these inspiring stories.
I am glad to be back in the village. Winnie and “a” thank you for the kind words. Nina love, the only thing I know about Nina is her capacity to love, and to share that love. The rest is a dream, we can revist it, but after a few times we have done our duty. I can’t even discribe the beautiful friend you are to me, and all of us. If you would see what we see you would be smiling all the time.
Kendall, “I was reminded today that we have gone through everything before…it’s just this time who will I choose as my teacher” words to live by in more ways than one. “I still feel the same darkness and fear when I am in my ego now that I did when my body was so sick.” I do too Kendall, when I was going through the chemo. and radiation treatments, I knew there was an end to them. The fear and power we give the ego, well we are still working on that, are we not?
Zafu, thank you for the kind words. I heard it through the grapvine that this was to be a good year. But, it begs the question, comparied to what? Just pulling you leg a little, no rabbit pun intended.
Pam, it is getting late and I am falling asleep. You had a few posts, but I remember you said you were glad I was back. So am I, and am glad you are here as well. Say good night lawrence, good night lawrence.
Bernard and Annie I wote a response to both of you, but it isn’t here. I will write back tomorrow, sorry!
God bless us every one
lawrence
Dear Lawrence – everytime you write, I fall in Love again !!
Like everytime I see my infant son, I fall in Love again !!
Like every day I saw my now-wife when I first met her, I fell in Love again…
Aaah, the freshness of Love, everytime I experience it, it’s like the first time !!
oh a* you are so sweet…. The Village is like a schoolground in a dream where there are no bullies and all us little kids just love each other and play kindly and lovingly while we learn together…{leaves a rosy red apple for the mayor}
mmmmmmm rosy red apple just waiting to be eaten….so juicy must find out where I can get more…wipes corner of mouth with nearby note…what does it say? for the mayor??? ooopsie. Turning head in all directions-no witnesses now what??? Decision maker on the fence…writes addendum below stain mark falls for the apple temptation again!!!!
Forgiveness lesson continues…
I just received this:
In The Book
A hand appears.
It writes on the wall.
Just a hand moving in the air,
and writing on the wall.
A voice comes and says the words,
“You have been weighed,
you have been judged,
and have failed.”
The hand disappears, the voice
fades away into silence.
And a spirit stirs and fills
and room, all space, all things.
All this in The Book
asks, “What have you done wrong?”
But The Spirit says,
“Come to me, who need comfort.”
And the hand, the wall, the voice
are gone, but The Spirit is everywhere.
The story ends inside the book,
but outside, wherever you are —
It goes on.
~ William Stafford ~
(The Way It Is)
All this in The Book
asks, “What have you done wrong?”
But The Spirit says,
“Come to me, who need comfort.”
Pam, thank you for the wonderful Night-music by Mozart. I slept better this night! And for Winnie tucking in teddy. ( I bought him some years ago. His rather big and i love him. And i love that he is tucked in for me!)
Lawrence, that we see the Love in each other that we don’t sense so clearly ourselves is such a blessing. This sentence that I would be smiling all the time if i see what you see – i have thought exactly the same of everybody here, and i did not include myself before now :::giggles::: it’s about time – smiles –
Bravo Annie!!!At last we have a new take on the paradise story: the Snake is forgiven. Or so it seems
Gee, I’m late on distributing hugs here. Where does a guy start? Kendall, thanks for your honest and lovely post. You give us all so much courage and help us stay honest. Lawrence and A*, aw, you guys, you’re just spreading this warmth all over the place, you two. Nina, lovely poem, lovely thoughts also from your Skype session. I still love the question: do I feel a need to let that resistance go? I love it because it really allows for the opposite – no, I still think I need to keep that resistance, and that’s okay. Funny, it’s in making it okay, even if I decide to keep it, that it goes away! Pam, can’t put my finger on it, but there was something so fresh and new in your 649… it really stuck out for me. Strange.
(Mayor gazes around, eyes settle on a mighty suspicious looking apple core. Picks up a crumpled note on the Tavern floor: “a rosy apple for the Mayor, love Winnie”. Apple juice stains on the note. Begins hunt for culprit. Pretty sure where to look. Heads down the path in the direction of the resident’s cottages…)
Annie,
Mr. Rogers didn’t live far from us. All our children were raised on his show. They learned to love and respect others not only at home, but at the feet (or should I say sneekers) of Fred Rogers like millions of other children.
Annie and the apple go figure.
lawrence
{{Pammie & Cory}} – I hope you are high and dry!!!
Katrina, We’re fine. We live 150 miles from the flooding. Omaha is having a time of it though.
GOOD NEWS!! SHARING GREAT HAPPIEST GOOD NEWS!!! though since we’re in the garden … I better whisper it all very quietly … the progress and healings with my son have been nothing short of miraculous … he’s doing so so so very well … he was a professional skateboarder for years, so all those years of learning how to fly through the air and use in air strategies have served him well … if he’d only had a board to land on I’m sure he would have been fine … he got all the stitches and staples out today … he’s home in his own home … he drove his own car today … he can walk and has walked rather long distances on his own … he sounds great … he’s been a great comfort and inspiration to all who know him … even beyond my bestest prayers and highest divine suggestions, he’s healing in ways that astound … yet seem totally natural in the calm pleasant easy no drama way he has of healing … he’s quiet and happy and doing all he can to be self sufficient and making progress each and every day … am so happy and thankful I wanted to share the good news in this beautiful garden where forgiveness and grace and beauty and miracles can be shared … look I built a rock stack in his honor and placed some gems and flowers around the base … a feather too … honoring his ability to fly
Zafu, I am not suprised too much. I was so moved and riveted to your original post. He did so well, in let’s just say his flying. Your son, and his mother, are examples of the power of love. But, then again my Irish Mother would say the power of a Mother’s love for her son is all that is needed. ‘Tis true magic in this world.
lawrence
Dear Zafu, thank you for sharing so much joy here. As Lawrence, I was sure too – the way you wrote about the whole seeming ordeal, I sensed calm and joy and great expectations of your son. Oh you must be so happy, and it si so wonderful to share it with you. And i think it is allowed to do a little whoppee here in this particular corner of the garden.
Zafu – You really are an expression of Love!
I’m so glad I got a chance to meet you in person!
And I’m so glad your son is doing so well!
The Garden is perfect Zafu. The place to bring forgiveness struggles and the place to share gratitude for healing. Big Hugs for you and your son.
Wonderful news Zafu! 🙂
Sharing your Miracle at the top of your lungs is most appropriate in the Garden! I join in the thanksgiving of being a witness to the Love that sustains these earthly bodies. I thank you for allowing us to be a part of this Miracle Zafu. Continued Joy and Happiness to you and your Boys.
“getting rid of the ego…”
I just ended a Sedona-sharing – and we found again and again how wonderful it was to just include the ego-voices/impulses – cause the loving Space that included them was so vast and loving, and we didn’t really have to do anything else than witness it. Some ego parts became images for me – like old stubborn parts that I have never allowed ( or they have not been allowed in my family) but now, it was room for it all, and it had nothing to do with reality at all – but it felt really freeing to just sit there and allowing, seeing that it was not serious at all – nothing of it – and also noticing what the consequences were when we reacted in any way at those images/feelings: if we included the resistance too, it all kinda melted –
this is very easy to do in a partnership – I would love to remember how effective this forgiveness-process is when i am seemingly on my own, too
I just visited David Hoffmeister’s site. Found a way of wording in the forgiveness-process that helped me see things clearly. How wonderful it feels when those clearing aha’s come – understanding something that until now felt closed.
Love and hugs to all –
and a big mug of fresh cider is put on the table in the Tavern, with a fresh smoked salmon-and nettles-pai too.
Nina – I saw the word “Tavern” and I thought you wrote “David Hasselhoff!”
My bad!
my goodness and many thanks
have just returned from my trail walk …
lots of bunnies out there today …
there is a deep happiness …
for some unknown reason, writing about the events and sharing them here felt like a safe and helpful thing to do …
am so thankful it felt right and sharing healings and good news is all wonderful
one never really knows … it’s all some grand experiment
am thanking every heart that helped us along the way and wishes us well as the progress continues
in a way this is huge, in a way nothing happened, in a way I was sure all along, in a way I had no clue
am loving being in this garden and have loved each encounter with each one that has stopped by here
thank you so very much!!
Zafu, your presence is a bright and shining star in this lovely garden. Thank you.
natti to all beloved friends
xoxoxo
Nina
sweet dreams dearest Nina xoxo
[places a wedge-tailed eagle’s feather at zafu’s rock stack …..plants a wattle tree too….]
Zafu First stop in since I wrote briefly from Tahoe….your all caps happy good news about your son’s miraculous progress caught my eye as I scrolled through the recent ponders. [places a circle of heart stones around Winnie’s wedge-tailed eagle feather] Namaste Everyone…looking forward to catching up on all our Mayor’s posts, Villagers ponders and some sharing about my time in Lake Tahoe with Lasya and Kailea. Have to do It’s Your Birthday and Here’s your Special Treat options calls for my cousin’s Face Magic Skin Salon. Love you All xoxox Michele
Michele, so good to hear from you – I have missed you and thought about you much yesterday – and here you are. soft hugs to you
Nina
joins in with the soft hugs for Michele xoxoxooxoin
love this zafu – > “a way this is huge, in a way nothing happened, in a way I was sure all along, in a way I had no clue” ..It sums up being at peace with duality
Do you remember when I was at the Tavern the other day sharing the beautiful sunrise with you? I had woken that day feeling glum and not for the first time since beginning my trip.
I felt so connected with you all, enjoying not only the intimacy, but also a lack of the self-consciousness I often feel when folks say nice things to me. I felt accepting and then the sun rose and not even in a particularly spectacular fashion. How can I possibly describe that moment? All I can say is that it felt as the sun was telling me that it loved me.
I left the Village and started journalling about how I felt, intending to post it in the Village letter box when I got back from my morning walk.
This is more or less what I wrote :-
So here I am. At last – no interferences, no disturbances between me and doing what I set out to do [read Ken’s books and the Text] except that I haven’t been doing anything. I haven’t had this problem before on my short campervan trips, just the opposite. Yes I have been practising forgiveness knowing that’s all that really matters, but to practice forgiving feeling purposeless knowing that that one purpose is the finest there is, is the height of irony.
Are all my needs being met ? yes
Am I lonely or unwell ? no
Is there anything I am upset about ? no
And yet i feel awful but i am staying with it. Most of the time i have been happy but then i get these acute phases of blahness alternating with uncomfortable topsy-turviness, and worst of all, an overwhelming sense of the clock spinning round so fast, I have felt that I literally have not had time to do any one thing, as weird as that sounds. I found a way to give myself all the time in the world, something so many people yearn for, only to find that time does not exist ! Oh the ironies that rain thick and fast!
I might be “over” almost everything this world has to offer, but I sure as hell don’t want to give it up and yet the part of me that does, just ignores my childish nonsense and continues to honour my daily request of “letting me see that my self is not my self”.
Now when I awaken, sometimes I haven’t got a clue as to how I feel. And sometimes when I am up, I dont know whether I feel good or bad, sick or well, content and happy, or in turmoil, whether it makes any difference if its morning or night, whether I am hungry or whether im not. One second I feel terribly tired but as soon as I look at it, it disappears.
… am I cold or do I want to remember that this feeling of cold is my unconscious guilt and almost immediately I feel warmed by gratitude….. Christ All-bloody-Mighty !
One minute I want to throw myself into my ukulele and singing practice and the next minute I dont care if I never sing or play again.
One minute I think right I will start with the text and the next I think it doesnt matter if I never pick it up again, ’cause I so long to come with “wholly empty hands ……”
One minute I think how much I just love going to the Village and in less than a hearbeat I think, that I should leave altogether
And yet none of this shenanigans really bothers me. I know its just the ego’s antics. I’ve put down the sword but i’m still looking down. I’m holding Jesus’ hand but we’re just standing still coz I’m afraid to keep walking.
I thought the only thing that’s holding me back from dying is my desire to write the story of my life so that my children might understand some day why and how I was the kind of mother I was, that I loved them as much as I was capable of, but even that seems pointless..
I dont need to explain anything to anyone including my children because they like everyone else are in my mind.
………….
It felt really great to do some journal writing for the first time since my trip began and and I pondered that Nina was right about my poetry aversion being a block. It was simply a convenient hiding place for my self-hate. Moreover I knew I couldn’t make it stick. I have liked some poetry. I chuckled as I pictured us all going through “life” as little kids secretly, eagerly, desperately, looking for hooks to hang our hate on which in turn build our personality and make us proud to be “who we are”…..”scuse me while I chunder … tee hee.
I put down my pen and decided to go for a walk before posting.
I have not been listening to music on my walks because I feel that silence is more important for me while I am working through something. But this day,uplifted by the sunrise I decided to listen, even though I struggle to make the mp3 player work properly – God how I love Beethoven’s Violin Concertos. I enjoyed the first track so much but then instead of continuing with the next track, it must have been on shuffle and went straight to the dude who has recorded the Course.. “No I don’t want to hear this just now” thinks I, especially since he’s reading in the middle of the book. I fumble with the stupid thing to try and make it work properly.
In the time that it took to stop, I heard this -> “Forget not that you came this far together, you and your brother. And it was surely not the ego that led you here. No obstacle to peace can be surmounted through its help. It does not open up its secrets, and bid you look on them and go beyond them. It would not have you see its weakness, and learn it has no power to keep you from the truth. The Guide Who brought you here remains with you, and when you raise your eyes you will be ready to look on terror with no fear at all. But first, lift up your eyes….”
It was as if he had heard me say i was looking down! I was astonished ! For the second time that morning, I felt the same wonderful Reassurance. But this time, I felt even more touched. I remembered to forgive the glorious wonder of it all, and that action made it the sweeter. I am much more comfortable with forgiving hatred and selfishness and all things bad in me, but to acknowledge that i set up the these two lovely moments was to acknowledge that i am one with the Holy Spirit, one with Jesus, one with all.
I went back to the Village and then read Bernard’s excerpt about looking at the sunset which just seemed to complete the synchronicity and all-round connectedness with everyone and every thing.
The son doesnt rise or set. It just keeps on doin’ its thing while we accuse it of going up and down while all the while we are the ones going round and round and around in almost never-ending circles of insanity……… Our getting closing to the top of the ladder often doesn’t feel heavenly at all. Sometimes It just feels like we’re circling the drain of a sewer……then out of the blue comes a Hand on the shoulder.
And to top it all off… Time has wound down since that day and i have found myself doing all the things i want to do with time to spare. I have started reading one of Ken’s books as well as the Text while listening to Ken’s cd’s on the Text, have been able to start writing, been practising my vocal exercises and got the uke out of its case for the first time since I set off. Added to that, I have figured out how to make my car radio work, how to get a photo onto the computer, and how to get rid of the shuffle thingy on the mp3 player…..and that’s not all….
Oh god Winnie, Thanks for putting into words the same process that has been going on with me except I’ve been bouncing in and out of the last part of ” doing things” more out than in. Big hugs to {{{{you}}}}}
“I’ve put down the sword but i’m still looking down. I’m holding Jesus’ hand but we’re just standing still coz I’m afraid to keep walking.”
Winnie, this is awesome to read. I Love the synchronisity of the voice for truth calling you to look up, where you seem to stay, looking down, sword in side. And how clear it became that this Voice on the tape is really You/Me/Son of God.
What I also get from reading you is the OK-ness of it all – the looking down and all. No big deal.
It’s raining awesomeness at the Village with all these postings.
We are most surely on that yellow brick road to Heavens Gate.
Gratitude and Peace my Friends
thanks guys… ooh lovely hug Pam !
Yup Annie, the yellow brick road is coming up but ..ahem.. first we have to cross an old bridge whereunder sits a mean old hungry troll. But don’t worry about that, I’m sure it’s his nap-time. Away you go, i’ve just got to tie up my shoe-lace……………….
I’d love to read all your posts but, sniff, it’s already midnight and I have to get up at 6 to go work tomorrow away from home. And I so wanted to put Winnie’s fabulous post on the home page. I don’t know right now when I’ll get a chance to do that. Your Mayor is rather over-the-top busy right now. Oh, too much to do… Will try to catch up and do some more work on our Village. You should all definitely check out Susan Dugan’s amazing articles. And if you’re not on her mailing list, you should definitely put your names down. I religiously (!!) read her articles and am always enlightened by them.
Skipping ahead and singing a tune while crossing the old bridge wondering why Winnie is shushing me??? As I turn my head to look back my eyes catch a movement above and I stop to see letters being formed from thin air…S U R R E N D E R A N N I E….
surrender what? I say in a loud booming voice.
Again another shushing from Winnie; I see concern in her eyes, though she is at quite a distance and still I haven’t a clue. I lean over the bridge – the letter from the sky are perfectly reflected in the still water below and now a foul stench is undeniable. Next a buzzing sound surrounds my head, I was sure a dozen flies descended upon me …but to my delight it was a troup of fairies whispering in my ear to keep skipping. How could I not – they were so playful and joyous.
Once I was safely over the bridge they cirlced my head three times and left me a bit dizzy. As a smile grew over my face I could see Winnie skipping toward me with those beautiful purple and lavender shoes. She almost appeared to be floating as the fairies bounced around her head too.
My first thought was-No One is gonna believe us!
I just started giggling uncontrollably…What just happened here?
But first please explain to me the “End Fire Fighting” joke…I still don’t get it.
ditto, Annie – you’re a brave one. I was still embarassed to admit, that i didn’t get it ! (:
I love jokes and not getting it…well it supercedes my embarassment factor (: But my ego did concocted an entire story to deflect my true question. Hence it’s appropriate that I posted it in the garden of forgiveness …yes?
Thank you for letting me know I wasn’t alone Starman.
Annie, a* -and now we are three –
it could mean, of course, than when a big fire is going on, the firemen will know that the fighting it will end there, and not one yard more –
(gee i thought everyone else understood it)
Very welcome, Annie (: – and yes, Nina ! (:
Sharon and I have been in kind of a funk for awhile now. My stepfather, John Connely an Irishman of note, died of cancer. He was a proud World War II veteran and Purple Heart recipient, having lost a foot in Normandy. To me he was one of my best friends, I met him 38 years ago. I had just gotten out of the Air Force after serving 4 years from 1969 to 73. As fate would have it my father died a little over two weeks later. I had hoped to share a few beers with dad, and let him get to know his grown up son. I had caused him a lot of worry when after serving 3 years in the Air Force I refused to carry a gun any longer, with a war still raging. It wasn’t because he thought me wrong, but he knew they would be less than kind to me. And this man had a Heart and baby blue eyes that held a kindness and love that was bottomless. I wanted so much to learn from him once again but it was not to be.
So anyway, on the very night that my dad died, my stepfather showed up at our house to see how my father was. I didn’t know him at all, and dad had died just a few hours before he showed up. He stumbled looking for the right words to say, and he seemed to stumble with his walking. I smelled beer on his breath and thought he was drunk. It turned out it was his emotions that slurred his speech, and he walked funny because of his artificial foot. Not knowing any of this I took him by the arm and was escorting him to the door, when my mom stopped me. She simply said his name is John Connely and your father loved him, he was and is a good friend, and I love him too. I tried to tell this story at the funeral service but each time I did I broke up and couldn’t continue.
So for 38 years Pa, as I called him, (as I had a dad) was a very good friend. I have four brothers still living and one sister. Pa raised my youngest brother who was about eight when dad died, and my sister who was about 12. This man when my mom was dying of cancer, brought her home and fed and bathed her when she was no longer able. I had grown to love him before this, but after mom passed, I knew I had to keep him in our lives. As I write this there is a terrable storm outside and I am watching a huge tree just dance in the wind. It towers above this old farm house we live in. I have always loved storms, so its cool.
I am rambling once more so I will try and end this. I wrote because I needed to. I have read a good many of the posts and will try to catch up with them tonight. Our eldest daughter has ADHD and has told the woman she sees about me. This is the daughter who got a 4.0 in her Masters program; she teaches English and writing. She told me dad you definitely have it. So, if that is true at least they got a name for it! As Winnie and ‘A and others have expressed, I don’t know how to post any more. Do I try and catch up, where do I join in, can I just start babbling about me. Me being of course the most important thing. Am I writing just to write, or am I contributing something. I seemed to have gotten lost in my sabbatical and can’t find my way back.
There are many of you I still think of and send prayers your way who no longer post. I am proud of our mayor and how he has built this new home for us. I love all the inhabitants those who post and those who don’t. We still all live in the Village and call it home, just some took a vow of silence. I did for a year, and I needed to. I guess all of this is to tell you I still love you and struggle as you do. I am a little out of sync, even the lesson I am on is lesson 69 for the second time around, while most of you are doing lesson 189-190 or something. I know it doesn’t matter, but it is just seems harder to share is all.
I am being silly now, so I will end. My memory is nonexistent, but other than hurting someone because of something I said or didn’t say, I am OK with it. I learn by washing myself in whatever I read or am told or experience. I don’t try to pick out something in particular just experience what was meant. Then I can whittle it down to something I can work with if needed. I do remember Winne’s posts recently and was moved by her honesty and length lol. All of you bring a certain color and aliveness to the Village. We are like a bouquet of different color flowers, wilting when not taken care of, and reaching for the Sun when nurtured. We are nurtured here, we wilt only when ego is involved.
I was hurting recently as I am sure you know now, but was comforted by this “Pain is an illusion, the Lesson gently intones. Joy is awakening. It makes sense. Just as the raindrop moistening the earth makes sense. It’s inevitable. It’s peaceful. It is lovely.
“Would I deny some part of my mind its own inheritance, and keep it as a hospital for pain; a sickly place where living things must come at last to die ?”
I would rather not.
And neither would I. Thank You ‘A, how beautifully put your whole post is!
God bless us every one
lawrence
Lawrence, when i read your post, i found myself crying – and also feeling waves of love washing over me. I knew i was bathing in you and your blessing, just being who you are, and i don’t give a fig about how the form is: you are always in it, even when I cant understand half of it like today. I still feel blessed by reading it and being with you and remembering love holding us all – and i am so glad you came back after your sabbatical.
And i remember Byron Katie once said, “What I love about the past is that it is over” LOL – she also asked me, ” if this was your only way to God, would you take it?”
yes
I raise my glass to John Connely a beautiful Irish Soul whose open heart reflected the light from Our Fathers Home. Well Done Sir Connely, Well Done!
Peace to my Brother Lawrence and his Family. Tho storms are brewing within and without we are safe, loved and protected.
And So It Is.
Amen
Nina,
I read what I wrote this morning, and I had a hard time understanding half of it as well. I am glad I came back too. I can feel a change coming in my life, and I don’t know if it is in form or spirit. It has me kind of on the edge, I think. Nice quote ” if this was your only way to God, would you take it?” yes for me as well.
Thank you Annie, You are right luv, the storms are brewing within and without, and with out a doubt we are safe, loved and protected. I was jumping all over the place in that post, but truth be told that has always been the state of my mind. I am finding I can quiet the voice in my head more often these days, the “I” ego would have me believe I am. But then life in form pulls me back into its circus.
Those of you who know me longer my remember that I used to refer to “The Circle Game” by Joni Mitchell to explain the above.
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Of course until we don’t
lawrence
Lawrence, I found a veritable cascade of love and gentleness flowing from your post. There’s something that is so reassuring and so healing when someone simply speaks from their heart in this kind of spontaneous way. I’m so glad you came back to share this beauty with us, even if you don’t always see it that way. It’s just the sincere, honest and simple way that you’re walking this path along the road we all share that makes the difference. Big hugs to you, brother!
Nina, very nice little section you found about the stones! Fits perfectly!
Pam, just saying HI! Haven’t said hello to you in a while, so there it is. Then there’s also Bev who needs a hello, so HELLO, BEV! And while I’m at it, Hi, A, and Laura, Kendall and Katrina! I know Lisi still checks in regularly but she is on a retreat of silence for the moment so I don’t expect her to say anything. She sends her love, of course, and she’ll be back when the time is right, of course.
HI Bernard, I’m glad you mentioned Lisi being on a silent retreat. I was starting to wonder why she wasn’t seemingly here.
{{{Lawrence and Sharon}}} Ramble on. I like your rambles.(-:
Bernard, Thanks for the kind words. I almost didn’t send that post, and when I did send it I wished I hadn’t. Oh well, what will be will be. I appreciate you and your coments as always.
Pam, I am glad you liked my rambling. That makes me feel better about sending it. I hope all is well with you and Cory, I thought of you both this past year.
God bless us every one
lawrence
Dear Lawrence,
I too like everyone else am so glad you did post #688. And I’m also grateful that you ignored the thought to not post. Infact, I’m glad you mentioned your hesitation as that is so often the case isn’t it when we come here? Do we, don’t we? It will take so long to write out the actual intention, the scenario of players involved, the history… will it make sense? And like a* mentioned previously-what if we find ourselves out of sync with the flow of the conversation?
Let’s make a promise to each other that none of that matters in this Village. If our time allows for only a passing hello, a silent wink or a full on ramble so be it. I have fluctuated immensely as of late with my way of posting. My daily routines keep changing and I find myself frustrated to keep to a rhythm and maybe that is my lesson. To let what is~ Be. That has always been my lesson (:
Hugs and Forgiveness Always,
Annie
{{Lawrence}}
You’re right of course Annie…. we don’t need extra reasons to beat up on ourselves…..and yet i think it’s part and parcel of Village life.. well it is for me…. The Village, like the Monastery, amplifies my specialness needs and is therefore a very useful learning device. I know i have to be patient with myself. The only way that the day will come when i know longer need to express myself is by truly recognizing that just like you said, none of our expression really matters…
{goes off to water the lilies}
Yes, indeed, Winnie – Amen to that – we really do not need to create new reasons to beat up on ourselves (:
Most of my posts on the Village that have been truly appreciated by many of you (thank you all for your expressions of love and appreciation to my raindrop post, and I say that, by the way, parenthetically here, but really it is not tangential to my existence at all, but that’s a topic for another time.. (:
like I was saying (: ~~~
all of those posts were those that i didn’t know if i should submit. i’m beginning to infer from this that the thought pattern in my mind that rears its head every time i’m about to put down something i’m not sure of, is perhaps directly linked to the depth, honesty, freshness of what i’m about to write –
perhaps the deeper we go into our self-expressions here, the more we will wonder whether or not to write.
Yet if the proof of the pudding is in the eating, then one cannot ignore the joy that each of our posts bring others in the community. maybe not every post is appreciated by everyone else, but certainly every post is appreciated by at least a few of us,….
and so, i will put aside my doubts whenever they appear. i will write here, this beloved place in my heart, whenever i can/am inspired to/am moved to….
and leave the results to be what they may..
Lawrence, dear friend, may I say that if you were to stop expressing yourself here, i would lose a part of myself ? i trust that you will not infer from this any obligation to post, nor feel guilty when you are unable to, but merely take away from this that i value your presence here, that knowing you here through these pages, these last few years, has been vital to my existence, like breathing in and breathing out ?
There is more I want to write, and address more of my dear friends specifically — i’m always struck by Annie’s posts where she has a special message for each of us — and would that i could follow her example, but i will stop now (:
and ask your forgiveness for that.
Love.
Well its perfecly fitting to follow Annie’s raised glass to Lawrence’s Pa of 38 years and all the love and comfort he brought his family, the concern and love he brought for Lawrence’s Dad having just passed as my beginning place visiting home again here at the village for a while now. Love to you Lawrence and boy oh boy, I drank in your post with such …well I am at a loss for words really. I loved the part, and for me all of it was understandable first read through, but then I’m a divergent type and I love, really deeply love your stories…any way…back to the part I felt was how I also take things in that you expressed ” I learn by washing myself in whatever I read or am told or experience. I don’t try to pick out something in particular just experience what was meant. Then I can whittle it down to something I can work with if needed.”
Lawerence I also so loved how you mentioned all those you held dear here in the village who we don’t hear from and just how inclusive your love was for everyone everyone everyone while on the subject of where does one begin with posting. Plus I’m waaaayyy glad you mentioned how much you loved the length of Winnie’s post so I went there first ( well actually before I moved to villagers comments I started with a*’s raindrops post….I saw those raindrops and felt the way your long ago memories of your grandparent’s tile roof left such a lasting impression…really loved your post a* all that you’ve put up Bernard since I last checked in, all of it was so meaningful and each so different, you’ve been prolific…really love love love how you expressed viewing our ego, and the sword brother poem)
Winnie’s post …..Winnie I just love you sooooo very much and I dip into your experiences and feelings about where you’re at with your camper van life, your reading and practicing the uke and how you shift in and out of all of it and the importance and uninportance and how you hear J speaking and are allright. Oh and that daily morning prayer of yours …let me see my self is not my Self. I want to remember that one and adopt it for myself. You tying your shoe lace trickster while our Annie is supposed to go over the bridge first.
Hmmm so wonderful…wow Lisi in silent retreat, and loving thoughts for everyone… here who I haven’t mentioned specifically by name like Nina and Kendall and Melody and Pam and Bev and the whole fam damily…you’re beyond words in our shared love and appreciation we are so fortunate to share.
xoxoxoxox Michele a shameless rambler so moved by the range and terrain we move in and through together.
… Greetings Comrades …
I am just putting up a poster for the Village film club, check out – “The Tree Of Life” – out in all good cinemas now, take two hankies, one for each hand. If a film was ever made to blow your mind and teach forgiveness then this movie is it..
all possible peace
… Richard …