Garden

The bridge

The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness

Love, too, would set a feast before you, on a table covered with a spotless cloth, set in a quiet garden where no sound but singing and a softly joyous whispering is ever heard. T-19.IV.A.16:1

“There is a garden at the foot of this lovely statue with masses and masses of soft white lilies and little paths between to slowly walk and talk with Jesus. There is a fountain nearby and the forever trickling sound of water reminds us to leave the desert of wrong-minded thinking.” (Winnie)

Forgiveness is truly at the heart of the practice of A Course In Miracles. All of us have had moments of shifting our perception of a difficult situation, and finding peace. On this page I offer you the space to tell us about the stories that have stayed in your mind, times when you felt a real change occur in the way you were looking at a problem or upset. Maybe you were encountering aggressiveness in somone, or were being judged and belittled. Perhaps it was a loved one who had left you, or even a pet that had died. Or maybe there was fear, a threat in your life to you or to a loved one. In all these situations, at one time or another you have found peace beyond the pain, release from shame and sadness, and comfort and freedom in their place. There was always a presence there with you, the company of one who loves you and guides you to see differently. If you have had moments of finding that clear presence, please share it with us here.

A little more technically speaking, these would be moments when you reversed the projection and saw that the problem was not outside you, but with you, your perceptions and thoughts. A sudden moment of clarity perhaps when you saw that the upset was having pushed Love away, and not really what was happening outside you. Or perhaps it was just a moment when despite the upset or problem, you felt safely accompanied and that helped you remain unaffected by the problem, to get a little distance from it.

Please try to write concisely if your story requires a lot of explaining (and teach me something about brevity!). Also, please try to share from the heart and not from the head. It is always nice to hear the simple sincerity behind these inspiring stories.

1,203 Responses to “Garden”

  1. lawrence says:

    I sell books along with just about anything else Sharon and I find at auctions and estate sales. As I type this, a book titled “Billy Graham and the New York Crusade sits on my desk. I want to share with you what one of the authors wrote; I put it in my description.

    “His insistence that everyone be “born again,” is not an attempt to play into the hands of any particular sect or theological group. He knows that birth is essential to existence, and that if there is no birth, there can be no life. His awareness of God, his intimacy with God, grows out of a personal encounter with Christ. So he can say as he so often does, “It happened to me, and I know it can happen to you. You can experience the new Birth!”

    When Stanley High, Billy’s Biographer first met him, he came away shaking his head and saying, Graham shocks me! He speaks about Christ as though He were a personal acquaintance.

    Early on in my spiritual journey (The Journey With Out Distance) the term “born again,” bothered me. I thought it just another way to separate people in their Christian beliefs. But this passage really made me look at what Graham taught in a different light. It seems we all struggle to find the right words for what the heart knows, and sings to a loving God. I think the Love we have created waits for us to revisit it in the eternal heart of God. And that is when our “personal acquaintance” reminds us he is there, that he’s always there.

    Always, I am filled with awe, when thinking that the Holy Spirit and Jesus got our backs, and are ever so near. The following is from the Introduction to Chapter 25 acim

    “The Justice of God” “The Christ in you inhabits not a body. Yet He is in you. And thus it must be that you are not within a body. What is within you cannot be outside. And it is certain that you cannot be apart from what is at the very centre of your life. What gives you life cannot be housed in death. No more can you. Christ is within a frame of holiness whose only purpose is that He may be made manifest to those who know Him not, that He may call to them to come to Him and see Him where they thought their bodies were. Then will their bodies melt away, that they may frame His holiness in them.”

    My love to all

    God Bless us everyone

    lawrence

  2. Nina says:

    Lawrence, that quote opened my eyes. Oh that feels so wonderful – those moments when truth and simplicity is here and nothing else. Since Christ is in me, “I” am not here.
    Yesterday I was visited by a granny with two grandchildren. She wanted to save me. I felt great love for her, thinking that her faith was the only one and the importance to save others – and the guilt that is underneath all of that – so very familiar, this false savior – and I said I am very happy in my faith. Two times more she picked out folders and papers and held them towards me -and two times more I said no thank you and smiled and meant it –
    there was nothing to forgive, only something more to love

    Nina

  3. Nina says:

    I have just listened to an old video with Stephen Levine and Ram Dass, from a conference in 1986, called “Exploring the heart of healing.” I have always felt kinda tricked when I know I have forgiven something in my mind, and the symptom still remains. After seeing this video, I am much more at peace with that. Stephen and Ondrea Levine worked for 20 years with people who were dying, most of them from AIDS, so he has a vast experience in how dying people can heal, although their bodies are dying.

    Stephen says in the beginning:

    “It is really evident how small, how shallow we consider healing. How we miss the point – and that healing may not be changing the nature of the body. I don’t really know what healing means, but my sense of it is that the process of it is to touch with love that which you so often touch with fear. And anger. And hatred. It seems that when we are starting to move toward making room for ourselves, making room for our pain, making room for the joy in our heart, that healing is happening. And whether it is not manifesting in the body – it may be secondary. So the most miraculous healings that I have seen, were in people on their way to dying. The healing they took birth for seemed to come to completion. Yet the body did not reflect that healing. Though they left no traces of unfinished business,no broken hearts, no closed minds, and they did what they could to finish – to touch with Love that which they had touched with confusion in the past. They healed their life, not just their body.

  4. Pam says:

    Nina, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, came to the same conclusion and of course the Course tells us the same also.

  5. Nina says:

    Yes it does. It’s just that I seem to need it to be worded in a slightly different way to really get it – and having a face and a voice who says it tremendous love in front of me, makes it so much easier to accept it. i guess the ego buys into that – only reading the words has not the same effect on me than seeing and hearing somebody speaking out of experience about the same.
    Its funny, in that video, Stephen is talking about Kubler-Ross and him starting a long work together.
    big hug to you Pam

  6. winnie says:

    ” It’s just that I seem to need it to be worded in a slightly different way to really get it” I hear you sister…

    Every time i have ever heard the words ” I am not a body….” etc, it has had no effect upon me, zero/ zilch/ nothing…..
    But when the words are changed slightly to “My body is not part of me” – then wow ! i am blown away every time i read/ think them.

    { leaves a big bunch of soft golden wattle in the crystal vase. It’s sweet delicate perfume wafts all through the garden}

  7. Nina says:

    Oh my, Winnie! Oh My Winnie!!! “My body is not part of me” – all the difference I need.

  8. Annie says:

    Thank you everyone for your well wishes. I had a lovely Birthday with my family.

    I was so happy to get a horoscope this year from you Lawrence. Tell me you cut and pasted it !!! Your birthday roses are always so special Pam, thank you. Love when you decorate my name with punctuation marks *a and you too Bernard. An appearance by Leni is always sweet-hello blue butterfly (:

    Hope everyone is enjoying their summer…(winter for winnie) !

    Skipping off to see what other reminders of Love I shall find today.

    Hugs, Annie

  9. lawrence says:

    Annie, I cut and pasted it !!! I can’t spell worth a damn and my punctuation is hit and miss, but I think my message usually gets through. I hope so, the village is my home away from home. If I can’t be myself here, self censored of course .(: I can’t be myself anywhere.

    If there are birthdays I missed and you would like to have a horoscope, let me know. I am sure the good mayor wouldn’t mind, as the horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only!

    The only truth is we are safe at home in God, in Love, In completeness.

    lawrence

    God bless us every one

  10. Leni says:

    Hi Lawrence, since you asked, can you look at mine – 7/22? 🙂 Curious to see if enlightenment is in the horizon this year. Kidding of course. Thanks so much. Leni

  11. lawrence says:

    Hello Leni, and it is my pleasure to do so.

    If Today is Your Birthday: July 22

    ——————————————————————————–

    The Year Ahead
    Forecast for July 2011 to July 2012

    If You Were Born Today, July 22:

    Famous people born today: Amy Vanderbilt, Willem Dafoe, David Spade, Rufus Wainwright.

    Your Birthday Year Forecast:

    When a Quarter Moon occurs in your Return chart, as it does this year, you are at some sort of a turning point in your life, in terms of personal growth. Events that occur this year act as catalysts that get you in touch with some important issues in your emotional life. Your emotions run high, and mood swings or identity crises are possible. There may be some kind of conflict in your life arising from a great urge to do something different. The year ahead promises to be a busy, dynamic, and significant period in your life.

    This is a strong year in which to advance projects revolving around communications – writing, speaking, selling, and so forth. Your reputation may be enhanced through word of mouth. Making new contacts through learning and mental pursuits figures strongly as well.

    Influencing you from January 2012 forward, Saturn transits square your Sun, which can be a rather sober influence, but also one that is certain to straighten you out on some level. As you face obstacles to your goals, you begin to see the tools with which you have to overcome them. A dose of realism may seem forced upon you during this period, but your efforts to measure up to expectations can ultimately increase your confidence in your ability to be responsible for yourself.

    You might often get frustrated if results of your actions are not instant, but it’s best to cultivate some patience when it comes to pursuing your goals. As well, if you are not getting the results you crave, consider that you might be aiming too high or too wide. You might make some rather sweeping changes this year in an effort to change course towards a true calling or truer purpose.

    You might enjoy increased influence, faith, and insight this year. The desire for more personal significance can motivate you to more ambitiously pursue personal or professional goals. The ability to sway or persuade can be enhanced. You might solve a problem that has been in existence for some time, or capitalize upon a resource that was previously hidden, and take steps towards self-improvement.

    New contacts can be made through learning environments this year, and communications projects should be fruitful. A slow and steady approach to your life is especially appropriate this year, as pushing too hard can actually set you back.

    2011 is a Number Six year for you. Ruled by Venus. This is a year of relative contentment. It is a time when love is the easiest to attract, and partnerships formed under this vibration have a better chance for longevity. You are able to attract others, and material things as well, this year. This is a good year for establishing harmony in the family and in the home. Advice – develop existing relationships, be positive and receptive because these kinds of energies help you to attract what you desire.

    2012 will be a Number Seven year for you. Ruled by Neptune. This is a year of preparation, chance, and refinement. It is not a time of dramatic changes. Instead, it’s a year when reflection on the past is helpful, and when refinements to your life path should be made. It’s a good year to study and analyze. Unexpected twists to your life story and “chance” meetings are probable. Advice – take stock of your life in order to prepare for more exciting years to come, examine the past and plan for the future, get in touch with your deepest needs and uncover your personal power, don’t strain yourself or actively try to expand

    I see Rufus Wainwright, has your birthday; if you haven’t one of his Cd’s, I recomend him.

    lawrence

    God bless us every one

  12. Nina says:

    Pam sent me this yesterday – it is perfect for me:

    “Have faith in only this one thing, and it will be sufficient: God wills you be in Heaven, and nothing can keep you from it, or it from you. Your wildest misperceptions, your weird imaginings, your blackest nightmares all mean nothing. They will not prevail against the peace God wills for you. The Holy Spirit will restore your sanity because insanity is not the will of God.” T 13,XII,7; 1-3
    *

  13. Leni says:

    Loving hugs Lawrence. Thank you so much. Annie, thanks. Like you, I also enjoy reading other people’s horoscope.

  14. a says:

    The garden is beautiful and quiet tonight.

    I think I will just sit here in silence until I fall asleep. The grass is soft and cool. The leaves rustle in the wind,,,

    May my dreams reveal to me the “me” as God created me.

  15. Nina says:

    May I share that dream with you, a

  16. lawrence says:

    He sought a return for what was no more, and what was no more could no longer return.

    God bless us every one, my love always.

    lawrence

  17. Annie says:

    No time to write yet again – just a moment to say you are all in my thoughts.

    Your brevity Lawrence is making my head spin (:

    xoxoxo

  18. Nina says:

    Remember I wrote about the author Knausgård, sitting on his roof in Sweden the day after the massacre in Norway? Hearing the child’s happy laughter, and not being able to see where the child was, he thought: ” we cannot see it – it is here anyway – it is this That is Home”

    I have the last 14 days had really painful and strong ongoing cramps in the body. Day and night. This night, something feeling like evil entities filled the body, and I saw the connection between the cramps-energies and this. I had the belief that I will forever be struggling with this theme – or stories – and that they will follow me into death, where my soul will be overtaken by it. It has been there as long as I can remember – and for many lives, I am sure.

    Doom and gloom: the ego’s favorite musical.

    So, in the morning I was having a Sedona-sharing with Mary. When I called her on Skype, she just started to laugh. And laugh. It was so catching! Soon we both were laughing, none of us knowing why. It lasted for a long time,and I started to feel negative energy sliding off me.
    She said she started to laugh the moment I said hi, and had not the faintest idea why – which made me realize that this was a gift from the H.S and a miracle.At the same time as the story,the laughter is there TOO –

    And why is “It” laughing?

    It knows that the stories are just part of the dream of the Sonship.

    But it is the laughter That is Home

  19. Nina says:

    THE WAY WINGS SHOULD

    What will
    our children do in the morning?
    Will they wake with their hearts wanting to play,
    the way wings
    should?

    Will they have dreamed the needed flights and gathered
    the strength from the planets that all men and women need to balance
    the wonderful charms of
    the earth

    so that her power and beauty does not make us forget our own?

    I know all about the ways of the heart – how it wants to be alive.

    Love so needs to love
    that it will endure almost anything, even abuse,
    just to flicker for a moment. But the sky’s mouth is kind,
    its song will never hurt you, for I
    sing those words.

    What will our children do in the morning
    if they do not see us
    fly?

    ~ Rumi ~

    (Love Poems From God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West by Daniel Ladinsky)

  20. Nina says:

    It is proper to write this here – in our enchanted garden 🙂
    Just sharing joy today!

    Yesterday I attended an opening-night celebration of a film where I had a minuscule role. The film was interesting for me, because it followed a young boy’s punk-youth in a suburbia. I live in this suburbia, moved in here in the 70’ies where the story comes from. It is a very strange feeling to see my daily surroundings on a big screen. And seeing my name on the credits-lists for actors in the end – wow, I must really have been here – oh no, it was just a movie – oh but it seemed so real…

    and, what is fun too, is that my role was the mother of the “worst” punk in the film – she was constantly worried that his son would kill her or somebody else…here she was, sitting outside her shabby old house, smoking and looking agonized, when two friends of her son come visiting. My role was just smilingly welcoming them and asking them to enter. So the role takes on a smiling face – but inside she is desperate.

    And then the audience laughed. They laughed, and showed me that they all recognize this mask we put on- that it is dangerous to show our pain. The warm laughter comes from Source: we recognize ourselves in you.

    I love how I have shown myself this: I am in a movie – my name is even on the screen! I really must exist!! – but the warm laughter comes from Source: we recognize ourselves in you.

    And it is not serious

    *

    Next lovely happening was visiting my doctor. When I had the cramps for 14 days,I scheduled an appointment for today. The day before yesterday was the day when the agony was met with laughter, and all of my cramps and other symptoms disappeared. So I told him this – and he had a student there who witnessed it – and I told him how wonderful and important it has been for me to know that he will be there when I feel that I need to ask for help – he is always kind, and listens, and obviously with great kindness. (And he likes me a lot too 🙂 I even told him7them about the help in dis-identifying with one’s story and thoughts and body. I looked at his face: he opened to it all.He was touched, said “marvelous” several times – and I left in such a warm atmosphere.

    Next, I ” incidentally” met the couple who had made the wonderful dance-theater for children I had just seen – (after “The secret garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett.) I had sent the culture worker at the county an email after seeing it, praising it to the sky – and they told me that he had gotten very cold feet after following the production, wanting them to change it before opening-night. After my mail he was all smiles. They were really grateful, and gave me a ticket for tomorrow, so I can see it again, which I have wanted to. This was to a performance which was not advertised, so i thought my last chance had gone. 🙂

    YES – trusting the process

  21. lawrence says:

    Nina, what a way to start my work day. Your beautiful writing falls gently on our minds; weather they have been set for happiness or sorrow. It doesn’t matter which way it go’s for both are equally unreal. Not to worry though we are Oneness with Source, with God. (who of Course spelled backwards is Dog) So, we got one leg up!

    ” I looked at his face: he opened to it all. He was touched, said “marvelous” several times – and I left in such a warm atmosphere.”

    That how I’m leaving

    Love ya Nina, what’s not to Love!

    lawrence

  22. Annie says:

    Sweet! re:joy #770

    Funny! re: leg up #771

    Gonna try to have fun today. That box of crayons link given to us by zafu yesterday from the north shores of oahu was another gem. I especially loved the quote from Yogi Berra…darn, I can’t recall the quote now. Anywho, it was perfect Course humor (:

    Hope all your projections are kind and loving today.

    xoxo Annie

  23. Pam says:

    Wonderful stuff Nina. :::smile:::

  24. Bev says:

    “The practice of forgiveness: Don’t try to corral a horse that’s already left the barn, simply recognize it was YOU who opened the gate.” Another gem of a tweet from Jamie 07/09/11.

  25. Tex ...to you says:

    Into the dream – (where no one wins)
    crept a tiny, mad idea….

    Musta been in the shadows!

  26. Nina says:

    0330am
    Fall solstice – change in season, change in mind

    Those contemptuous eyes – that disgusted mien – the way she abhorred what I offered, “that alternative stuff you do”

    Who would believe that it gives me, in these minutes, a great healing?

    Remembering: she is the Holy Son of God, and I am only seeing my projection of my own mind’s hatred and disgust – always judged as bad, now allowed.

    I don’t need it to change: it is a nothing that is unveiled by my acceptance. Ken’s words come to mind – something like, “we revel in the misery and the pain: that’s what proves to us that we succeeded in separating from God – that is what makes us a “somebody. And we do it because we fear Love.”

    So for the first time the judgment of hatred and disgust and contempt is quietly watched. It feels like being in a cess-pool of poison, and as layers are released, the feelings get clearer: “this is how angry I am.”
    Still an “I” connected to the anger.

    The more I sit with it and look, the more this “I” is seen as a construct – a non-existing thing –

    Now it is allowed – not judged – and the nothingness of it is slowly flowing upwards toward Love.

    Just an old story – the story of believing in separation and wanting to keep it to keep the me…

    shivering with release writing that

  27. katrina says:

    {{Nina}}

  28. Annie says:

    You do us all a great healing Nina in speaking of that which is so painful to look at. May the shivers of release open you/us to welcome the warmth of God’s never ending Love.

    And so it is.

  29. Nina says:

    Beloveds—
    Did not sleep all night before the Skype-Sedona- session today. I gave the session to Love, and when it was my time, I saw a frantic inner controller, and something in me helped me ask myself if I could allow Love to embrace all that insane fear that leads to that control? I could say yes to that, and just sat with it. Sadness came up – as always, under fear – and the image of a terrified child that needs to cling, and never has been allowed to ( gotta judge those childish needs and be a maaan!)

    Allowing the “child” – letting “it” cling for as long as it takes.And – there is a feeling of “me.” I notice I love that feeling of “me”. No judgments of the “me” now – it should not go, it is not wrong, it is just included in the Love that I am. Oh how good it feels to be able to sit as Love and embrace me. Not the other way around LOL!

    Now I notice…that in a timeless moment the attachment to the whole story just went. Incredibly beautiful feeling!

    *
    Here’s a poem I got today from my Panhala-subscription:

    At the Teahouse, 6 am

    Sunrise at the octagonal hut;
    beyond, where two decks meet,
    a lizard does pushups in the sun.
    I see the green, chattering world
    through the window, I see
    my image in the window.
    Both are present; are both true?
    A bee enters the hut, buzzes
    insistently against the window,
    but the window won’t yield
    to his wishes. I want to
    show him the open door,
    say this world through the glass
    is only an illusion but I don’t.
    How long will he hurl himself
    against the dusty glass? How long
    will we believe we are not free?

    ~ Holly Hughes ~

    (America Zen – A Gathering of Poets)

  30. Annie says:

    After reading the above poem

    I could hear a Neil Diamond tune surfacing
    and these words fell into place…

    I am the bee,

    You are the glass

    break me

  31. Nina says:

    what -? shall the glass break the bee? ( I mean it – i don’t get it) – help, Annie

  32. Pam says:

    Sorry Anne I’m with Nina.Huh?

  33. Pam says:

    I meant Annie

  34. katrina says:

    I’m going to vote that Annie was using the image from the Teahouse poem above, and hearing the image into Neil’s tune/lyrics ‘You are the words, I am the tune, play me’. I checked, and Neil doesn’t have a bee or glass in that song. It must be your contribution to LA’s PST art wave, heh? Annie. Ahhh, creativity!

  35. Bev says:

    I had a wonderful moment of forgiveness this week. I attended a funeral in the Catholic Church that I attended until I was 18 and left the Church. I must have attended with an open mind because the Choir sounded like Angels singing and the words of the service all seemed to point to oneness. I thought that I had done all my forgiving of this religion but I must have had a lot of judgements about this particular building. I went to support my friend( it was her Mom that died)but it ended up being a gift for me. I never thought that attending a funeral could turn into a Blessing.

  36. Pam says:

    So glad to hear from you Bev. Sounds like another knot in the tangled skein of the ego thought system has just been undone. (-:

  37. Bernard says:

    Beautiful thoughts and sharing, Bev. Thank you for coming here with that. There is no order of difficulty in miracles. Love can be found absolutely anywhere, I try to remember always. Even in the places I have been so sure it is not present. I try to see that I’ve been wrong. It’s nice to be wrong, and to find Love just there, especially in those people and places where I could’ve sworn there was nothing but hate and conflict and selfishness.

  38. Nina says:

    For the last three days and nights I have felt like in deep fog,. a sort of trance. Hardly awake, and not sleeping. This last night was different: crystal clear dreams with deeply repressed stuff – what a release to look at with Love and see as untrue.
    Today, walking in town, I think for the first time I saw other people and did NOT merge with them automatically. I could allow them to be as they were, and saw them as playing roles they identified with – the angry one, the anxious one, the sick one. Behind it all – or “through” it was Love.
    Some of them looked at me and their faces burst out in smiles from inside.
    The most wonderful was to look at all and want to change nothing at all.
    *
    Coming home – experiencing my daughter “hearing me” acting in a needy way I think is her image of me, and not who I am now -and recognizing: all I need to do is forgive my reaction – allowing it to be like it is – and also forgive her reaction.
    Thank God it is not serious

  39. Bernard says:

    Great thoughts, Nina. I loved this looking at the roles that people were playing. Yes, Love playing out in a myriad different strange and fortunately untrue forms. “Change nothing at all” – so perfect. It IS perfect, yes! “Forgive my reaction” – that’s all we can do, and it’s so simple! Wonderful. Thank you. And thanks for the coffee! (you’ll have to check out today’s video to unravel this!)

  40. Nina says:

    I go to your Homepage, B – and don’t find it. Could you post a link to us here?

  41. Nina says:

    Pumpkins – are you ready for a blogpost? I learned so much these last days.
    *
    21 December 2011 Circle closed
    Skype-session with Kit. She is one minute late, and complains about a strong ringing tone after we have connected. She hangs off, tries again – and the stress is still there. She says she needs to give the PC more time – and after a few minutes we connect without any digital disturbances. We become aware – again – of the ways our electronic equipment has given us feedback if there is any disturbance in the quality of our connection: If there are some subtle fear-patterns present, Skype let us know immediately, and we can find the places where we believe in voices from the wrong mind. This time we both had the idea that we “had to” complete something we were doing right before our appointment. Very subtle pattern of believing in the importance of “being stressed.”
    We love these signs – and that they are dependable. Apropos signs, I share the story of the Angel who crushed the lizard yesterday -and that my first reaction was, “NO! It is so beautiful!”
    I also share that I have had yet another recurring nightmare where I am in the presence of an insane unpredictable man who is out to get me – and the terror of this.
    Kit reminds me of what I write in my book “When fear comes Home to Love”: Whatever we identify with, we protect and preserve. And whatever I say I love or fear or hate, I say has something to do with “me” = identification. I tell myself that there is something in me who wants to keep this insane evil- and that creates tremendous guilt. It is not “allowed” to “have” such a part which wants to hang on to evil!
    “There is no space for this part” says Kit.
    I realize that the part that wants to hold on to insanity and pain is insane. No wonder that I have this part – these memories of a tortured child that I called me. No wonder she/I/got insane.
    AND:
    Instead of judging her, I can love and forgive her. No wonder she became insane! It is a marvel that she survived at all -and she did because she had support from her Self all the time, although she was not aware of that.
    If there is something I need, it is my own love and forgiveness. I need to truly come Home to my Self.
    Now this can be included. No separation.
    *
    I am talking about the extraordinary gifted artist from Sri Lanka who sculpted the lizard in the masterful form. His ability to truly allow the energy and form of any animal to come forth through his hands and into the glass AND at the same time maintain his center is what I find beautiful. You have to maintain your Center if you are able to contain all these shapes/entities/spirits.
    I have that same ability to allow any “form” into me and “read them” – and when insanity has come, I have told myself that I am not doing it “right” since the body and nervous system feels so tremendously painful.
    “If you start to believe in what the insanity are saying, and have not come Home to your Self – then these dark forces get space to grow inside you.” says Kit. I see that – and that this part inside who identifies with the insanity and the victim-hood, is the one who needs and shall have my forgiveness and love.
    “And THAT is what the Angel wanted you to see” says Kit.
    YES. These pains in the body CAN BE THERE even though I am Home in my Self.
    *
    I walk into my living-room. I want to save the half-crushed salamander from the garbage-can as a sign of my new perception. A book falls down from the same shelf and hits me in the lip – at the exact tiny black spot in my upper lip where an old wound has been encapsulated. I bow down and take the book: an art-book from a beloved artist: “The almost forgotten” by Kurt Johannesen.
    Thank you, sign-giver. Almost, but not completely.
    I have an impulse to pull another book out and open it randomly. It is a book about signs and myths, and I open it to a myth about “Tokk”, and old witch from Northern Mythology.
    When Balder – the northern equivalent to Jesus – was hit by an arrow of mistletoe, he dies and is sent to the underworld. Now, there is a law that says that if the whole world cries for Balder, he will be resurrected.
    Tokk declines.
    “I have no more tears to cry” she says. “When has anybody noticed my tears? Let Hel ( god of the death-world) keep what she has. Me guilty of your predicament? don’t get me laughing.”
    *
    Dorothy asks Glinda, the Good Witch, “Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?”

    “You don’t need to be helped any longer,” A smiling Glinda answers. “You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.”

    “I have?”

    “Then why didn’t you tell her before?” Scarecrow demands.

    “Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.”

    The Tin Man leans forward and asks, “What have you learned, Dorothy?”

    “Well, I . . . I think that is . . . that it wasn’t enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em . . . and that if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn’t here, I never really lost it to begin with.”

  42. Nina says:

    Yesterday I had a dream where I was seeing a vision: in the sky, there was a sculpture, made by clouds, of the little Child Jesus and GOD holding Him. Not Mary. The Father. It was awesome, numinous.

    This night was filled with one disgusting dream after another: I was asked to try on demonic masks, and I refused. Then, “something awful” was energy-wise injected in my aura. It was tremendously scary, and I woke up immediately.

    I asked for help, and a memory of this text came – a letter from “Emmanuel” I once got when I needed it desperately:

    ”What to do about the nightmares – the times when it seems that darkness is to take your breath and life away? simply know this: you are living a recall, not a current event. You are projecting out into the void a memory – fraught with terror, and a child’s experience – but a memory in distortion. What to be done? listen with respect to what the wound is telling you, but never, never again believe it. What is needed now, is what was needed then – a presence of a loving and tender adult who can compassionately embrace the terror and remain in truth.
    Dark spirits are simply dark memories projected from past to present. They seem to take form and hold power for exactly as long as you are willing to give them life. You cannot kill them with hatred. You can transform them with love.”

    IT IS SOMETHING FROM THE PAST. It HAS already happened, now just reviewed.I can just smile and forgive.

    I AM NOT IN DANGER NOW.

    Suddenly I understand what the Course teaches about time.

    This is a miracle for me.

  43. Annie says:

    Peace Sweet Nina

  44. Pam says:

    That is wonderful Nina.

  45. Nina says:

    Thank you Annie thank you Pam – so good to hear

    this night i was visiting USA I think – and I met and hugged different people I have met…some I met during my education, which i did not particularly like to hang out with, was now seen as a dear friend. My favorite hug was a character from “Northers exposure”: “Chris-in-the-morning”…has anyone seen that series? and the all-philosophical-earlier criminal-wonderfully surrealist absurd – handsome-Chris? I can tell you that we really MET and twined l o n g arms around each other. I was about 27, he was about 36 🙂 Strange and wonderful.
    Yes I know. projctions. But love too: more and more included in that embrace.
    {{{{{Village}}}}}

  46. Bernard says:

    Amazing dream, Nina. Wonderful.

  47. a says:

    Nina–
    Reading your 792 has stayed with me since the day you first wrote it. It is particularly resonating that the moment of insight on ‘time’ happened so *suddenly*. I can really relate to that – in an instant, some old conceptual ideas that had a hold on us can fall away, and we can see everything as it really is.

    The world I see is is not the way it is. I wonder what my experience will be when my delusional ideas fall away ? On that speculative thought, I take your leave,

    Good night,
    a

  48. lawrence says:

    Nina, I loved this: A Letter From “Emmanuel” What is needed now, is what was needed then – a presence of a loving and tender adult who can compassionately embrace the terror and remain in truth.

    Dark spirits are simply dark memories projected from past to present. They seem to take form and hold power for exactly as long as you are willing to give them life. You cannot kill them with hatred. You can transform them with love.”

    “You cannot kill them with hatred. You can transform them with love.”

    It bore repeating, I am very happy for you Nina.

    Big Hugs

    lawrence

  49. Michele says:

    Nina …Loved your letter from Emmanuel post. xox Michele

  50. Annie says:

    Reread Emmanuels quote this Morning; it does bare repeating.

    A little quiet time in the Garden and it’s lovely.

    May love be the lens through which we see and live today.

    Have a nice weekend Everyone.

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