Garden
The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness
Love, too, would set a feast before you, on a table covered with a spotless cloth, set in a quiet garden where no sound but singing and a softly joyous whispering is ever heard. T-19.IV.A.16:1
“There is a garden at the foot of this lovely statue with masses and masses of soft white lilies and little paths between to slowly walk and talk with Jesus. There is a fountain nearby and the forever trickling sound of water reminds us to leave the desert of wrong-minded thinking.” (Winnie)
Forgiveness is truly at the heart of the practice of A Course In Miracles. All of us have had moments of shifting our perception of a difficult situation, and finding peace. On this page I offer you the space to tell us about the stories that have stayed in your mind, times when you felt a real change occur in the way you were looking at a problem or upset. Maybe you were encountering aggressiveness in somone, or were being judged and belittled. Perhaps it was a loved one who had left you, or even a pet that had died. Or maybe there was fear, a threat in your life to you or to a loved one. In all these situations, at one time or another you have found peace beyond the pain, release from shame and sadness, and comfort and freedom in their place. There was always a presence there with you, the company of one who loves you and guides you to see differently. If you have had moments of finding that clear presence, please share it with us here.
A little more technically speaking, these would be moments when you reversed the projection and saw that the problem was not outside you, but with you, your perceptions and thoughts. A sudden moment of clarity perhaps when you saw that the upset was having pushed Love away, and not really what was happening outside you. Or perhaps it was just a moment when despite the upset or problem, you felt safely accompanied and that helped you remain unaffected by the problem, to get a little distance from it.
Please try to write concisely if your story requires a lot of explaining (and teach me something about brevity!). Also, please try to share from the heart and not from the head. It is always nice to hear the simple sincerity behind these inspiring stories.
It is coherent enough Nina. Lovely working of process. “…things were as chaotic logistictly as before but inside I was completely relaxed and trusted….” hugs
Nina, Loved your post it put me right there with you. Form is not important to be sure and I think sincerity is only manifested love even when it is sad. I have often thought I would like to volunteer at a hospice, just talking to people, you know keeping them company. I don’t know if I ever will, there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day sometimes.
My computer was down last night after I posted, I wanted to get back and comment on some very nice posts etc. I will try to make time tonight.
God Bless us every one
I have come such a long way from the depressed wretch of a few years ago, and just the fact that I am happy, and peaceful, almost all the time, is huge huge huge. The string of peaceful days just keeps getting longer and longer, and when I find myself in a dark one, I am a little surprised. Thank God for ACIM!
Thanks, Nina, great sharing. You wrote: “And I recognize how screwed up my perception has been: today things were as chaotiv logistically as before, but inside I was completely relaxed and trusted and they did not know the best they could do for me.” Love it!
Very nice, Sally. Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi everybody, something I want to share. I have three favorite scapegoats– I have a lot, but these are my most recurrent ones. Then, as Jesus, repeatedly says, they are my saviour, and as a “good Course student”, whenever I can I try to forgive myself for my distorted perception about them. As I said, I have with them multiple opportunities, and if not all, I accept some. For the last weeks I was having some king of different feeling toward them. One that surprised me. From them, almost always, I only need a word, an attitude, to immediately judge and begin to feel all sort of butterflies in my stomach, a creeping anxiety, rage, hate and almost an infinite variety of emotions that this insane thought systems provides me.
Well, instead of all that, on the last few days, I felt, I don´t know exactly how to explain it, but I felt them near me, the same as me, I could feel their pain and felt it was mine, and the most weird thing, I could feel comfortable being with them, and I could say I even feel some kind of peace.
All that sounds beautiful, isn´t it? Well, last night I had a horrible nightmare. The protagonists of my dream were the three of them. The three, the same night, connected in the same dream!!!…and the three of them were victimizing me. I awoke with my mouth dry and a stomachache. I sat on the bed, and in that moment I heard Ken´s words, loud and vibrant:
“The worst victimizer is the victim!!!!”
I felt almost stunned. And in that moment it came to my mind something that Ken mentions in some of his workshops about Freud´s insights. He said that from his search about dreams Freud discovered that we dream for two reasons: The first one is to keep us sleep. The second one is the realization of fulfilling of a wish or desire. Looking at all this I can now easily deduce that if Jesus says that our waking state is also a dream, I am purposely choosing these “victimizers” to steal my innocence from them. I said I felt almost stunned, and it was because in our “waking dream” is easier to deceive ourselves that someone is making us something. But my sleeping dreams are completely mine. I write the plot, give the roles, and direct the scenes.
It was a very good lesson. And I am very grateful for it.
Lots of hugs and love, Lisi
Great story, Lisi. I have been listening to Ken’s workshop The Forgiving Dream (I think that’s what it’s called). He just finished telling me how in every respect our daytime ‘lives’ are the equivalent of our nightime dreams. Where we would talk a dream at night to a therapist to have the symbols interpreted, and the therapist pays no attention to what happened in the dream but what it’s purpose was, we take our day dream to Jesus (the great therapist) who also pays no attention to what is happening within our lives (the details) but to the purpose. And, yes, as you say, it seems that we are purposely choosing these victimizers in our lives. What I still find so remarkable is how much and how quickly I need to feel hard done by, negatively affected by someone (or something). Like a constant state of sensitivity. I mean, why can’t I just stay in that state of calm all the time? Apparently because my ego thinks that smells too much of Heaven, and the loss of individuality. So it makes up a story about someone (or about a cat, let’s say), just so I can feel gloriously meeeeeee. Nice thoughts, thanks.
Gail, in your post #32 you adressed my Air Force Days and how you understood what I had decided to do. I want to thank you so very much for that. The reality for me of what the war was costing on all levels, combined with my fairly new found study of spirituality, for a lack of a better term made it my only choice, but not an easy one.
I was staioned at Loring Air Force Base a little North from where your friend was. I agree also that those who serve believe they do for the right reasons. You take care of yourself Luv, and check in with the Mayor from time to time and all the good people here. Quick story, (I hope)during that time I refered to, I kept a room on base, but lived off base. One time during a surprise inspection the duty officer was reading me the riot act.
I had some posters on my wall, it was 1972 for Gods sake, everyone did. Anyway There was a record sleeve from one of the Doors Albums that had Jim Morrison on a cross that was really telephone polls. He and the pole were in gold on a dark brown background. I had taken the sleeve and burnt the edges to form a pattern around Morrison. I thought it rather artsy, but when all was said and done, I had lost one of my strips and some money. There is a lesson in there somewhere.
So, all of this was to tell you I used to sign off on the DU Board with “Peace and Posters and God bless us every one” I also used “May The Course Be With You” I don’t think I ever explained the “Peace and Posters” sign off before.
Love to All
There is a big part of me who’d like to let go of the drama – being the one with “the dramatic story” – and there’s another part who is terrified to just dissolve and thinks neg.attention is So much better thsn nothing – and then there’s Presence who knows that it is possible to be with everything without taking it seriously or personal – and just now, I am being with all that resistance, and there’s peace present too –
it feels so good to SEE this
Letting go of the drama. I guess this might be the place to ponder this event of my day with Nina’s pondering #58 acting as an intro.
Cory and I were in town today. As we were coming home there were emeregancy vehicals all heading in the direction that we live from town. As we approch the corner I need to turn on we can see lots of lights at our corner. My first thought is someone had a car wreck. The traffic is at a stop so we wait. Then we get to move and as we get to the corner I see the garage to the neighbor’s place across the highway from us is smoking. There are 3 men standing at the end of my driveway so after parking the car I go talk to them and find out that apparently the neighbor had been either making or storing alot of fireworks in the garage and he had been in there when it blew-up. From my drive way we could see the body-bag and one more small explosin went off. We got home at about 3:15 it is now 7:20. There are still law enforcement and a couple fire trucks over there.
I can feel the part of me that wants to plug into it and feel all panicky and sorry for everyone. But somehow for now anyway I have stayed in observer mode and it all just seems very surrealistic sorta.
I keep having this urge to interpet this event as one would a nighttime dream but am having trouble doing that. I’ll just keep looking with J. If anyone wants to try the symbolism feel free.
{{{Pam & Cory}}}
I’ll just be still and observe with you and J.
If any symbolism surfaces I will share.
{{{Pam & Cory}}} too. I’m glad Acimpunk & Lawrence are here today with waves of liquid images to surround you and Cory with safety.
I witnessed a body removed from a fire when I was Cory’s age. They said the lady was smoking in bed. Permanent lesson. I absolutely never wanted to smoke and have been a banshee about anyone doing it anywhere near a bedroom. Cory will probably never be attracted to fireworks.
Nina, I love how you said there’s resistance, and peace present too, at the same time. That’s it for me, too. They both seem to be there at the same time. I’m quite sure that’s okay. In fact, i’m sure it’s the only way to really do this work, to become aware of the resistance, and the peace calling to us simultaneously. Lovely thought.
Pam, I’ll just second what Annie said: “{{{Pam & Cory}}},
I’ll just be still and observe with you and J.” Hugs.
Pam…your choice to be observer with J and be or do nothing…so wise. Several years ago, a man living with the lady who is my neighbor across the street committed suicide by hanging himself from the garage rafters. I was observer of many comings and goings. My companion made derogatory comments about the deceased (we didn’t know him very well…he borrowed some tools from us several times), what a cowardly thing to do…that suicide is the easy way out. I goofed by responding that he had the right idea…get the heck out of this world…just the wrong method of doing so. I hope I’ve learned better since then. It isn’t my place to make such comments as that, even if I was in some ways processing my different way of seeing things. It is counterproductive to try to teach in that way. I think what I learned from that is that we all have our varying and different paths and we can’t know what is really going on with someone else’s path…so it is best to try to be observer with J and look at our reactions but never judge
or if so, then forgive, someone else’s script. I’m confident that I’ll probably get a future chance to respond better to a similar lesson. Hugs!
To Pam, 59 –
minds are joined –
the last week I have been filled with the sensations of explotion. On two occasions I have found what needed to “explode” and allowed it/forgiven it. I sleep better now.
If this was a night-dream, and i was your Junguian therapist, I would point to the symbol that being careless around explosives could be lethal – and that would go for inner explosives too…so maybe looking for what may want to explode in Pat or Cory, and giving it a safe outlet would be a wise way to learn from this (says the jungian therapist…”)
This is the gift that has been given us…a safe place to explore our inner explosions.
Firstly Pam thank you for inviting us to process along with you. Personally, I found that to be very brave. I see how insightful and kind and almost instantaneous these responses have been and that is a huge advantage in this world of disconnect. Well, I should say I speak only for myself regarding disconnect.
Nina the Jungian symbolism…wow right on.
Laura a great follow up discussion on how we process. I’m inclined to believe that this may have been your opportunity to revist that scenario and you responded with great love, wisdom and compassion. Thank you for showing us how that is done.
Katrina an Irish Banshee…I love you more each day!
I know my post is one big judgement and I’m writing it down here so I can observe me observing my judging. It feels like one big hall of mirrors all reflecting the same image as far as the eye can see.
{{{Group Hug}}}
Thanks for the feed back everyone. The drama across the highway is still going on. The State Patrol helicopter just got done circling the site about 10 times then landed in the pasture. FBI agents were there yesterday and I am assuming today also. He was making illegal fireworks. A federal offense. the world is screaming “This is not an ordinary day! Pay attention! Get all worked up about this!” A steady stream of Gawkers goes by. People have called asking me Questions. (The neighbor had the same last name as I. So there is the woo factor)
Here I am observing from my “front row seat” feeling ordinary, doing ordinary dishes,looking out the ordinary window above the sink at their ordinary house with ordinary trees and yard with ordinary people doing their ordinary jobs of sifting through ordinary explosion debris. Then I go feed ordinary kittens…….Ordinary words can’t describe how extra-ordinaraly ordinary of a “feeling space” I am in.
“Good” actions with the ego are never healing. The most “loving” action with the ego never pays. I have just learned this painfully a few days ago. And as I am writing this two important advises come to my mind:
From Jesus in the text: “Never trust your good intentions, they are not enough”.
And from Ken, in almost all his workshops: “Be normal”, and also from Ken: “You are not responsible for another´s ego decisions. Your only responsibility is your reaction (in the mind) to them.”
Well, the event is that about 5 months ago a friend stole from me some money and I had the proof of it, and asked her for an explanation. She told me some sort of incredible story that I knew was a lie, but as I heard her I began to feel very bad about how bad supposedly she was feeling, and I used the Course´s metaphysics to justify her action in the “form”; not being aware in that moment that my “pious” action was hiding a not so pious thought: that I was the victim, and she, of course, was victimizing me. But I was so nice and good that I pretended I had believed her story.
I am telling you all this because I needed 5 months, another event and question No. 415 from Ken´s Q&A to begin to see all this ego trap. Jesus advises us in the text: “Never underestimate the power of denial”. Okay, three days ago I discovered my friend stole from me again, but now 5 times what she stole months ago. When I discovered the outcome of my previous “good” action I felt really angry, hateful and all sort of nasty things, BUT this time I do ask Jesus for help and I could understand that both of us are the same insane mind that thinks is here, now divided in a quasi infinite number of different parts. I really felt closed to her, and really felt I cannot blame her for all the vicious and horrible emotions I was experiencing.
The outcome of this joining was that when she began to lie and again told me an incredible story, I simply said: “I don´t believe you”. But the weird thing was that from my mouth the words: “I don´t believe you” were flowing really easy. I asked her for the payment of what she took firmly, but in calm, and I was experiencing that I was saying all this without feeling attack or hate toward her. I think I did the normal thing in form, but I felt at peace and joined with her in my mind.
But the sad side is, that for a divided mind, such juicy events for the ego, can´t finish like those children´s stories that at the end, finish with: “And all were happy forever.” The next day I began to feel pity again for her, and began to judge myself because I was very hard with her and asked her immediate payment of my money. Well, I think I have in front of me a long line of forgiveness opportunities. I hope I could be able to see some of them.
Lots of hugs and love to all, Lisi
Thanks Pam for your sharing. I was not here for the last two days and just read it. Really a beautiful experience. And thanks too for all the answers, really helpful. Annie, loved this: “This is the gift that has been given us…a safe place to explore our inner explosions.” Also enjoy a lot Bernard´s, Nina´s, Katrina´s and Laura´s answers. Thanks for all this learning, love and laughter.
Lots of hugs and love, Lisi
Lisi, to #67, what a story – how the movement in the mind goes from joining and coming straight from the heart, to the pitying and seeing differences…thank you so much for this, for making this “ordinary” pattern in the split mind conscious. And you know – reading how you said ” i don’t believe you” and wanting her to pay you back, I think this is very healing for her: she was met with straightness and honesty, and what an opportunity to just look at her own shenanigans without an “enemy” to fight against.Thank you, and big hug
Nina
My own explosions lately… it feels like I am slowly and steadily sliding into insanity.Dreams are pretty weird with lots of black wizards and “powerful” men, me hating and struggling with relatives, recognizing in the dream that “here we go again” and not being able to do anything about it – and what most worries me, is that it feels like I somehow have a strange soul inside me, feeding on me, coming out as soon as I see babies or little children – I sense a foul man’s voice directing me to kill them, crush them, rape them – and the voice is so nasty, and i “hear” it clearly – it eeminds me of the nasty voices people hear to “make” them kill and harm, and then they do it – I will not do it, but still it seems and feels like it has control of my body and nervous system, living inside –
I am pretty scared about sharing this, but if I cannot share it here, where else –
at the same time, I have lost all interest in anything – no more books, drawing,painting,dancing, reading – all I “want” is to eat chocolate and watch TV –
and showing this to H.S does not seem to make any difference at all – the nastyness and impulses to harm get worse by the day –
i DONT KNWO WHAT TO DO anylonger, and the worst thing is to know that I want this – that makes me the most perverse person in the world
You did the right thing and placed a light where there was darkness. There is nothing more for you to do but be still.
God Is.
Love You
Dearest Nina, this worked for me in dealing with my anger and yes when some of it is displaced it seems to be something that isn’t you ie. the voice. Stop fighting it and propously give it permission to talk. Write it out on paper or talk into a tape recorder or just stomp aroud your living room knowing that you can burn the notes later. Say to it “So what is it you want to do?” Then let “it” rage and get as ugly as “it” wants and when it pauses or seems to stop talking after giving a really nasty scenario Ask it the question “And then what?” It gives more ugly stuff.”And then what?” Keep this up as long as you can. This helped me to own my uglyness instead of displacing it. Then it was easier to release. I should also mention that most of the time after the ugly stuff then I would have a few moments of feeling void and then grief would come pouring out of me great wracking sobs for 10 -15 minutes at a time. Then exahusted I would sleep for a couple hours so you need to plan for this.
You are not the most perverse person you are just getting an in your face view of the ego.
Holding you in Love-Pam
{{{Lisi}}}
Thanks, Pam, for your process steps. Nina uncovers my old abuse concepts for me to look at. I may be less afraid of stopping the music on the hiding dance, but I guess I’ll be prepared for the void and grief.
Yikes, Bernard, please move my earlier post to this Forgiveness page! I keep making mistakes. MOM once referred to herself as Gollum. You are not the most perverse person, Nina, WE are the ugliest most perverse person.
Annie, Pam, Katrina, thanks. About processing: done it the way Pam suggests for at least 30 years, it gives me some periods of rest and then it has come back – now it really feel like the spirit of an old pedofile abuser. There simply must be another way.
{{{Lisi}}} I meant to give you a hug earlier. You go Girl!
Katrina you are correct about our Ms. Nina from Norway always bringing out the big spotlight on Enemy #1. Got me thinking about the famous line “we are the enemy” wasn’t sure of the origin so I looked it up; this is the answer from answers.com.
Answer
The really really REALLY correct quote (I’m looking at the cartoon drawing) IS:
“WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND HE IS US” all caps.
set in Georgia section of theOkefenokee Swamp
Pogo ………………….. possum
Albert ………………….. alligator
Howland ………………. owl
Churchy la Femme …. turtle
Porky Pine ……………. porkypine
Beauregard ………….. hound dog
Fremont ………………. bug
You see I’m a 70 year old American and have been taking advice and direction from
POGO for years. The older I get the wiser POGO seems to get. I believe he must be
a descendent of a Roman philosopher. The Romans didn’t listen to them either.
Pam I will try the stomping/fire ritual. I usually skip those steps and go directly to sleep.
I’m in a place where I know a deep wretching cry would be so cleansing but I can tell I’m not ready to release yet. So maybe a good stomping would loosen me up.
Ordinary is a good space to be in.
Hugs
dear nina – that sounds like a really difficult phase to go through. i don’t know what else to say on this subject. it just feels really tough.
on another subject, i’ve been wanting to thank you for a long time now, for introducing me to carrie triffet. her’s was just the voice i needed a few weeks back to get out of the dispirited, despairing phase i was in. grateful. very grateful.
Oh Nina, If that doesen’t help how about if I just sit quietly here on the forgiveness couch with you and wait for the answer. You asked so I know the answer is already here we just need to shift our perception a bit to get it.
Would you like a bit of vanilla ice cream with fresh mulberrys while we wait?
{{{Annie}}} Come sit with us on the couch then. As she holds bowl out to Annie. Ice cream and mulberrys?
Katrina,#74 You are welcome and that was an insightful and brave post by the fireside to Nina’s #70 above. I think we all have been here at some time or other with the ego screeching horrendous scary stuff telling us that this is what we are. I don’t remember which play this is but I have this Shakespeare line as a favorite reminder: “(ego’s) Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
Such darkness there is in this world, it really isn’t a pretty place. There are ugly men and foul men and women who hurt others in so many ways. For every sunset that shines on the lovers in a loving embrace, it shines also on those that prey on others. We made the duality we see, we project it. But knowing that doesn’t help a damn bit. Only when we see it with The Holy Spirit/Jesus or Right Mind does it make any sense at all. We then see it as the nothingness it is.
When beautiful people like my beautiful sisters who shared bravely their process are hurting, it is because we are in a war zone, a no mans land. It is not until we go above the battle field that we see what is truly going on, then peace returns and understanding blossoms. I have been haunted by specters from the past whom form different faces and voices to try and scare me, by making me think I am not worthy of my birthright. We who are course students know who it is we are, and when the pressure to live up to that comes to bear through the egos doing, it is then voices start and figures take shape in hopes of us believing their lies.
Remember who you are, remember who it is who walks with you, and like the christian song says; and talks with you. You are not alone in you troubling thoughts. But more importantly you are not alone! Tomorrow is another day in dream land my friends, may it be a blessed one. My Love Always and Many Hugs.
God bless us every one
Powerful experiences and stories circulating in the Village yesterday. Many thanks to Lisi and Nina for their honesty and courage.
Lisi, I can so relate to your experience. I feel like the classic ‘nice guy’. I don’t know if you remember the hard time I was having with a work partner at the end of last year (I mentioned it at the Monastery)? Well, it was just one of those learning moments that I tried to get through as well as I could. There was a lot of going back and forth from RM to WM, like you. That’s just the way we are for the moment, I think, until we start to see that we can’t hurt another through our anger and upset (not a reason to be irresponsible, of course). We still think that our anger has power and can be dangerous (as you know because we think our anger actually managed to destroy Heaven). Perhaps it just takes us a while to learn to laugh and smile at the thought that our anger can actually hurt and damage another. Acimpunk recently told us a story about the hissing snake. It’s so true, we need to still hiss in this world, just to contain the wrongmindedness in others. We need to know it’s okay to say to someone, “Okay, just cut out this kind of crap now!” I think it’s also always useful to keep in mind that a part of us still wants there to be a twinge of difficulty with this kind of situation when in some ways it could be so much easier. It’s the part of us (again, I know you know) that is still seeking these kind of experiences of difficulty and tension. It’s still going to take us a while to wean ourselves off of this ‘tension’ drug, but I think it does come slowly. I’m right there with you! I think it’s the part of us that feels self-conscious in lots of different situations, like: “what is this person going to think of me if…?” It’s pretty amazing to think that one day everything will flow so simply and easily, there won’t be any after/forethought, “What’s the effect I’m having on this person, what do they perceive in me?” Keep us up to date on this one – it’s right up my alley!
Nina, wow, what can I say…? I do like the bit about hanging out and eating chocolate and watching TV. Honestly, I think that is probably the bestest therapy ever, and I’m not kidding. Of course, it would probably be better if you watched some comedy program rather than a story about a serial killer. I went through a period of a whole year when these unbelievable spasms of hate and violence would come out (ok, it’s still going…) and then only way I could begin to get some distance with it was by listening to Bob Marley really loud. So I put Bob right up there with Beethoven in some of my most holy music, and Bernard is not kidding in the slightest when he says this. Anything that helps turn the mind away from the utter despair and seriousness of the decision-maker choosing the wrong-mind instead of the simplicity and lightness of the right-mind. The problem for the DM is that the right-mind is just too simple. It looks like Bob Marley and eating chocolate in front of Friends. That’s what this path is all about at times, I figure, our favorite party music and ice cream. Reminds me of that story about the parishner who asked the pastor if it was okay to pray while he smoked and the pastor said yes. Then he asked the pastor if it was okay to smoke while he prayed, and he said no. It’s really all the same. Watching TV or doing anything else that brings you back into a less tumultuous state of mind is a way of praying. The Holy Spirit asks nothing difficult of us – just to take things easier, to give ourselves a less hard time.
I’ve seen a lot of good ideas and advice offered here. I’m a pretty big fan of Pam’s practice of writing it out, letting it have it’s own voice. I think it’s pretty important while we do this to keep a part of our minds in observer-mode. We can be in the experience of the violence in order to let it run its course, but not in it at the same time, just observing it as we do some insect in a jar. A curious thing, this ego-state of insanity. And as you point out, it is so useful to be aware that a part of us wants it. It’s perhaps also useful to know that an important part of you doesn’t want it, too, otherwise you would not have shared your thoughts with us. So, my dear, please be reassured you are taken care of, by your Self. There is someone there in you who cares for you and is accompanying you through all this. And you will get to the otherside, past the storm on the sea to the other shore.
Loved what someone said: WE are the most perverse person.
Lovely thoughts, Lawrence.
Bestest thought of the day: eatin’ ice cream and sitting on the forgiveness couch together (there’s actually a place built into the arm rest to hold the bowl steady when we need to run and get some more pomegranate juice – can you believe that?)
{{{illagers}}} thank you all so veryvery much for the comfort, wise words, help to de-fry the brain and to look at the perverse-violent-stuff with Jesus. I am just now hanging out with a big dollop of hagen Dasch Chocolate chips (which they dont make anylonger, but they do in the Village, thanks to our Mayor’s choice)( – and also, i n the Village i can have as much sugar as I want without being sick.) (Oh. Two parantheses.) (No,three.STOP NOW NINA Ok.)
Pam: last night, I thought, yes I have done this in variations for over 30 years, and maybe it really has helped all these times – in different ways. let’s go for it once more. And so I openly told the haterer that I listened, and asked him to feel feree to share his hate in detail. And so I have to say he really did that, and in graphic gory detail. And Pam, something I haven’t done for years, was to say ” and is there more?” as you suggested – GREAT suggestion. I sensed that took all the judgment away: now I was looking with Jesus and not ego.
I let him know that i REALLY heard him.
This morning all is peace – yes, at least for now it is peace. And it was a great experience to read the morning paper, with all its articles on abuse and pedofiles and murder and and – before, all my life, “I” have been sucked into reading stuff like that in gory detail – and now I didn’t bother to read about it at all! it feels like an obsessing entity has disappeared, and so there is nothing inside who needs to feed on these thoughts any longer.
Pam, this ” You asked so I know the answer is already here we just need to shift our perception a bit to get it.” Awesome reminder. And yes ,I love sitting on the coach with you and Katrina and anyone who just wants some rest and freedom from heavy expectations on being a perfect Corse student. And mulberries are my favorite, so thanks, YES!
Dear Lawrence, #82 made me cry and felt like a cleansing shower. You know I am saving some of your posts in an ACIM-folder, to read when you are not in writing-mode – and this one will help me many times, I know. I love you immensely.
Bernard, #84 – the way you write, sharing your own foils (? I don’t really know what that means, it came to me) AND sharing Truth to be recognized by my heart – I am so grateful and happy to be in your Village, and you all teach me to look at things a bit differently. I am a good learner – I just need to be shown in a loving way, and y’all are doing that.
Annie, I now going to google okefenokee swamp and buy me some Pogo.
I love you all so much.
Mmmmmmm looks like ice cream for Breakfast!
wowie, yummy … my favorite!! 🙂
thank you for the lusciously fabulously appreciated hot fudge sundae … what a miracle!! me like!
one evening when my husband didn’t come home and I didn’t know where he was … it was getting late … and I had no idea what to feel or how to cope … I decided to have some ice cream … when I opened the container, there in the ice cream carton was a note from him telling me his whereabouts!! … it made me laugh … then when he did return, I asked him “why did you leave the note inside the ice cream carton?” and he dryly replied, “it was the only place I knew you’d find it!”
ice cream always reminds me of this … how we get what we want when we stop searching … just relaxing into our own ways and then the miracle reveals itself as being right there … ken often reminds us to stop all the efforting and just go have a cookie (or ice cream!)
zafu…great story! I may consider that next time I need to leave a note!
Zafu so good to here from you again. What a fun story, along with a hubby that knows you well. How cool is that?
Oh Nina I am so glad you were able to shift and see Peace instead. BTW I’ve been using The “let ‘it’ yell and scream” technique for about 20yrs. I’ve actually cut through 2-3 sheets of paper in the notebook with the pen I was using when “silently screaming” on paper before.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
(((((Nina))))) I so relate to No. 70. Undoubtedly we are just one and the same. Really happy for No. 85. We really have help. Much love, and hugs, Lisi
Bernard: No. 83, Thanks a lot for your words. Yes, I do remember your whisper at the Monastery about your work partner. And I remember it because then I really related to it. I want to re-read again your pondering now really slow because I found in it a lot of help. Thanks God we have here all this help that gives us a feeling of relief and love.
Lots of hugs and love, Lisi
Villagers: Thanks for all yesterday´s and today´s ponderings. Really loving, really helpful and really heartfelt.
Lots of hugs and love,
Lisi
Bernard, I’m not sure where you said to put this, but this seems like where my story belongs anyway. Actually, it should be culled altogether, hah, hah. Hope it’s not too long.
After one of Nina’s staring-the-ego-in-the-face expose’s, I had this ‘memory’ with lots of details and tie-ins/proofs with other memories, of a great fear of a guilt she described. So many details that all supported the reality of the story.
I ate ice cream with Nina & Pam and looked at this insane story with Jesus. I noticed that ‘all’ was saved because my son was there, but then I thought, — wait, I was the one responsible for putting my son (the safeguard) into the scene. So, it was preset not to be harmful. AND it was ‘me’ who built the connection to my babyhood.
So, after the post of raucous screaming, and then a virtual ice cream break, I found time to listen to Monk’s new class The Haze of Fear, where he mentions that complexity covers up the simplicity. Anytime we get analytical and complex, we’re keeping at bay the simplicity of salvation. If the brow is furrowed, don’t believe it. Ask for another way to look at it, and it arrives as you put the potatoes in the oven. And with that, forgiveness opened up as I realized that NONE of those memories ever really happened. Just the joy of truth, no exclamation points.
Zafu, the note in the ice cream is just wonderful. What a loving thing for him to do.
Katrina,You said “So, It was preset not to be harmful. AND it was ‘me’ who built the connection to babyhood.”
This is it, a part that we try so hard to cover up by pretending that the “bad stuff” is real. It was PRESET,by God, not to be harmful and there is no way we can break that connection to harmlessness. It really is what we choose to look with. The preset harmless reality that God created(holy spirit) or the pretend harmful stuff we made up(ego). Whew.
Thanks Katrina for you sharing. We never suffer for past events, but only for our present decision for the ego. Very nice how you could you see it differently. Yesterday I also listened to Monk´s last class and what you mention hit me too: “Complexity covers up simplicity”. And we always try to be immerse in all that complexity through analyzing, analyzing, analyzing a past that in the first place, never existed. About some months ago, as I was watching a little and beautiful movie about a father and a daughter, and as one of my favorite scapegoats is my past relation with my father, I began to feel such and intense pain and desolation that I could not stop crying. I felt a so deep loneliness, a so deep feeling of being completely lost, without any hope, and suddenly in the middle of all that, a though, just heard a few weeks ago from one of Jamie`s classes, changed my thoughts completely: “You can only suffer but for a PRESENT decision”. And in that moment it was as if I was in a dark room, and someone have turned on the light. Every thing was so clear in that moment. I was suffering ONLY because I have chosen the ego, and by choosing it, I was choosing to make real all its complex and very painful world in which I believed I was one of the figures. But I am not. And now we have a beautiful teaching, with a loving teacher, and lots of loving Jesus´ helpers all around to help us, little by little look at our deceits without judgement, recognizing where does the pain really come from, and most important, that our fear and pain is insane because we remain as one in the Heart of our Father.
Great Sunday Villagers. Lots of hugs and love, Lisi
I’m carried away by the ponderings here to a very lovely, quiet place. Thanks so much to everyone for your thoughts.
” We always have to make decision in the world but they don’t have to be problematic. Ask for help looking through the eyes of peace and not of judgment. All the angels will come to your aid and you will know what to say or do. If you join with Jesus, that Love would automatically flow through you and you would do what is kindest.”
are Nick and Heather quoting Ken – and this is so not the case with me. I had a huge challenge yesterday: on the bus, the obnoxious man i have told about (who grabs little children and scare them with his behaviour) sat down on the seat beside me, grab my book and said ” i see that you have brought something to read with you hehehehe” ( he laughs all the time) and I SO knew that this was a forgiveness-op, and showed jesus my intense disgust and rage and wish to smash him down – and I even asked to see him through eyes of peace, and there wwere no angels there, only Nina going complete bananas, first ordering him to sit somewhere else, which he did not understand, so i charged by him and put myself in another seat, shivering…
and afterwards, I can see again that he is not really “here”, but his behaviour is still outrageous and scary to most ( I can tell by their reactions) – and i can not see that I did what would be the kindest at all – so, anyone – mrMayor please, and anyone who feels called – how can Ken say that, and promise that? if it is true, that must be true for us all and everyone? what am I missing? sigh sigh
(not going bananas now, but still not getting it.)
Well, Nina, something DID keep you from whacking him in the head with your book. Maybe that’s all the help we can get on the spot?
So, dear Mayor, can you tell us why we ask and don’t seem to receive? And why I want to go to Norge, commute with Nina, and whack this guy up the side of his head?