Garden
The Quiet Garden of Forgiveness
Love, too, would set a feast before you, on a table covered with a spotless cloth, set in a quiet garden where no sound but singing and a softly joyous whispering is ever heard. T-19.IV.A.16:1
“There is a garden at the foot of this lovely statue with masses and masses of soft white lilies and little paths between to slowly walk and talk with Jesus. There is a fountain nearby and the forever trickling sound of water reminds us to leave the desert of wrong-minded thinking.” (Winnie)
Forgiveness is truly at the heart of the practice of A Course In Miracles. All of us have had moments of shifting our perception of a difficult situation, and finding peace. On this page I offer you the space to tell us about the stories that have stayed in your mind, times when you felt a real change occur in the way you were looking at a problem or upset. Maybe you were encountering aggressiveness in somone, or were being judged and belittled. Perhaps it was a loved one who had left you, or even a pet that had died. Or maybe there was fear, a threat in your life to you or to a loved one. In all these situations, at one time or another you have found peace beyond the pain, release from shame and sadness, and comfort and freedom in their place. There was always a presence there with you, the company of one who loves you and guides you to see differently. If you have had moments of finding that clear presence, please share it with us here.
A little more technically speaking, these would be moments when you reversed the projection and saw that the problem was not outside you, but with you, your perceptions and thoughts. A sudden moment of clarity perhaps when you saw that the upset was having pushed Love away, and not really what was happening outside you. Or perhaps it was just a moment when despite the upset or problem, you felt safely accompanied and that helped you remain unaffected by the problem, to get a little distance from it.
Please try to write concisely if your story requires a lot of explaining (and teach me something about brevity!). Also, please try to share from the heart and not from the head. It is always nice to hear the simple sincerity behind these inspiring stories.
FAR-OUT Michele!!! BTW watcha’doin’ apoligizing for the previous car post? IMHO that’s exactly what this page is for. Sometimes ya just gotta vent before you can get to the forgivin’ part. I know I do.(-:
Ditto what Pam said, Michele (:
Yes, just awesome Michele! So good to get the follow up posting on your prayer of forgiveness. This is the “miracle” page and I should use it more often. Like Pam said thats what its for. HS thinks so much bigger than we can and like you said Michele our job is to just live in the moment while we are test driving (: love, love love that line!
Hugs and Kisses right back atcha.
Feather-light Anne in TN – Welcome!! So sorry, guess I forgot to say Howdie when you posted before. So nice to see you pop in, feather and all.
MICHELE!! I mean awesome news. Sometimes it’s just so cool to see the illusion working nicely like that. I think we’ve already told the story about ‘Good news, bad news’, and how it’s difficult to know if an event is ultimately positive or negative. I guess that’s in line with ‘I don’t know my best interests’. It almost feels like A*’s wish for you came true – he wanted to buy you the same model Saab, remember? And yeah, like Pam said, this is really the place to spill all our problems, so you did great.
Love this Michele – in case you missed my comment posted on the wrong page! 🙂
Yea, Michele! Who woulda’ thought that if you just park your car in the ocean, it would turn to a 2-tone, extend it’s life by 20K, be spiffier, and help you out with some extra living expenses? (Er, I mean close to the ocean.) Sounds like your old car loved you back. Now, that’s the kind of Saab story I like.
Yesterday, through email, a friend and I continued a discussion that has been ongoing since February! It all started, when she said something about it being possible for there to be a “concrete thought” in the mind, to which *I responded that nothing is concrete in the mind, even the illusory split mind, as it’s always the choice (for either J/HS right mind or the ego wrong mind) – which comes first, and then gets projected out into form. It went on and on in different forms….and as it did, *I was able to look at my choice for the ego – as well as clarify for myself through writing (with ongoing requests for Help in my right mind) what I most needed and continue to need to learn, which is what for me, writing and sharing is all about.
The lessons learned by me, were a clarification of the metaphysics while going repeatedly to the Q/A, as well as listening/reading excerpts from Ken, quoting his words verbatim in written form as *I was listening to his workshops on CD…asking for Help in understanding….
The most important lesson *I learned through all of this, was in knowing intellectually the metaphysics of the Course perfectly, meant absolutely nothing if not choosing J/HS in the mind to use for Their purpose. I tried to explain this to her yesterday, as my choice for the Teacher of Love finally “won” (thankfully) and *I was tired of all the back and forth! She responded by very deep and wordy explanations of ACIM to me, at which point *I asked her to please stop, I didn’t want or need her to explain ACIM to me, I asked her to read her own words, lovingly, as a gift to herself, as they were meant for her (which is my theory, always about what I write.)
She sent me an email, (paraphrasing) saying okay – deal – no more clarifications or explanations to each other regarding the explanation of ACIM with one more “important clarification!”
Lol….*I was completely aware of the choice made in my mind for the ego thought system, which for a split second *I blamed on this email – yet asked J/HS to please help me stay with Them – and did my best to write an honest response back saying (paraphrasing) – that I felt she already broke the deal, and *I hoped to have a different perception/interpretation by the time “Idol” started, so we could “virtually” as she lives far away – watch it together! (She had written me that she had watched the previous evening and was planning on watching again.)
*I continued to feel peace within the chaos, in that I was very aware of the feeling of “charge” yet also very aware that *I would really rather be happy than right! *I received then, an email from her, reiterating, yet again, the metaphysics of the Course, using me as an example to which I responded “Stop!” Peace to such foolishness” “It’s not okay any more!” (Not okay anymore to use words symbols of symbols, twice removed from reality for the purpose of separation vs joining.) I also told her in my response the words were for me.
I then received a final email telling me that the ego needs someone to hate and it might as well be her, along with some other metaphysical clarifications. 🙂
I turned off the computer, went upstairs to watch “Idol” with my husband, and realized – yet again – that it’s all about the ego *here in the illusion. Just about all of it – and the only hope is consistently choosing the Love in our right mind as the Answer to this ego belief system which seems (for me) to be the “default setting” of choice initially. I realized, yet again, how different we all are in form, yet, on the content level we are all the same. Same right mind, same wrong mind, same decision making aspect of that mind.
*I was able to embrace her, and the situation with my heart – (thank you again, Bernard and all for the posts regarding resistance) – and was able to embrace the terrified child in all of us calling out for love, trying to get Home. *I was able to truly smile gently at the antics of the ego, while not taking it too seriously, as well as thanking J/HS as well as my decision maker for making the Right choice! 🙂
On the level of form, I understand (in this situation, now) that the best way to act is silence, and to just stop! (Again, these were my last words to her, and are my words to myself, as always) and *I remain grateful and peaceful this morning regarding the whole thing. Embracing form, in my heart, means so much more than attempting to embrace form on the level of form. Another lesson learned, from the Teacher of Love, for which *I remain most grateful!
If you made it thus far, thanks for listening to this rambling….as it felt good in writing it – and the peaceful feeling continues. 🙂
Melody, such a gift to my heart. Thanking you so kindly. Yes, it is a funny ol’ world. And sometimes us ACIMers can get so wound up about ‘getting it right’ that we spend all our energies dancing around the Love that is filling the space between us. You looked and said, hey, there’s something else I want instead of these words! Absolutely, standing right there in front of you was a big immense dollop of gorgeous, heart-warming Acceptance and Understanding, and you plunged in. Bravo! (or rather, Brava!)
Thank you Bernard but….. – as while in the shower I realized that I didn’t say (forgot?) in my post how I wrote “Bullshit” in response to more metaphysical clarifications, I also didn’t mention how *I “actively engaged her” when things were quiet for a while, nor did I mention how she felt attacked by my accusing her of acting “almost enlightened” with my clarification to her of how the process of going back and forth in our choice in the abstract non temporal mind continues until all is forgiven and in the real world!
*I suspect, that my choice for the ego thought system in the form of guilt is responsible for the feelings I had in remembering this in the shower…..yet….”peace to such foolishness” “It’s not okay any more” “I’m never upset for the reason I think” and “I could see peace instead of this by giving these guilt feelings another look with the Teacher of Love in my right mind!
And the process continues…….. 🙂
oh yah,this is helpful for me same problem different form with a non-Course person. Last week I saw a guy I haven’t seen in about 20yrs at the farm store. We chatted for a few minutes the went our separate ways. He called the next day and I let him know straight up in the first couple minutes that getting together as friends was fine but I have no interest in dating-period. He said that was fine but it soon became apparent that he wants a special relationship far beyond mere dating even and he just kept reinterating it and I just kept reinterating my position trying to explain and clarify it.(as I write this I can see it as defending) This goes on in a phone call a day for 3 more days until I told him that I was feeling harassed by his instance of trying to talk me into having a “romantic” relationship with him that I didn’t want. At that point he said “Well Shit” and hung up on me. He has since called and left 2 messages with an apolagetic tone in his voice but I haven’t responded back for two days now and I don’t plan on it at the moment.
Now through out this I kept catching myself flip-floping back and forth between being calm and non-judgemental of him and me, then wanting to verbally shred him to pieces and then feeling guilty for being rude to him back to feeling calm as I watch the ego play and asking J for help to Stop and just not go to ego thoughts in the first place.
Whew! So grateful for this place to “work” it all out.
Pam, Remember how Ken says that the ego thought system is 100% vicious hate, as the HS thought system is 100% the memory of Love, not of this world. The “system” *we, as decision making minds choose – is what we become – until a different choice is made! Kudos to you for watching the flip-flopping! As for all of us….the process continues…..and the more we learn that this will continue until the Atonement is accepted once and for all – the less seriously we will take the process of flip flopping! 🙂
Remember, like I am, what Bernard said paraphrasing “Love embraces it all” and what Ken says – “we’re not guilty sinners, just a little silly…..”
Hope you’re smilin’ gently with me right now!
Happy weekend and Love to all!
often we hold tightly to a wound … replaying it round and round … loosen and let it go … unwind from our perceived wounds …we can get too wound up in our wounds …see what a funny word a wound is … how could anyone ever take a wound seriously … it’s a silly word, a useless thought … there is a place in us that has never heard a bad word, has never been harmed or hurt or wounded or disturbed in any way … a place of pure peace and tranquility … become this place … it is real … nothing real can be threatened or harmed or disturbed or wounded … nothing unreal exists … herein lies the peace of God … be undisturbed and undisturbable … be unwounded and unwoundable in the midst of the mists of all the goings on … bring the peace of God with you … the divine presence of calm … arrive to bring blessings and kind gestures … glances and words that are assuring and comforting … smiles that are gentle and calm … relax into this place of ease … it’s right there … not far away … it’s all there is …
Smiling,smiling,smiling frowning,frowning,smiling,frowning,smiling,smiling smiling, smiling, growling, smiling, smiling…….. I think the smiles are being more frequent and longer lasting. (-: maybe I’m be coming un-wound and my wounds aren’t so tightly wrapped thus not cutting off circulation of the flow of love thoughts, hmmmm……(-:
Oh, Zafu, that was lovely. I just felt really carried along by your song; You’re so right, it is there that unwounded, un-damageable place.
Pam, I think sometimes the best we can do is just look as you were doing and pay attention, watching the flip-flopping. We have to know that there is something in us that is very attracted to precisely that feeling of conflict, of being harassed, of frustration. It’s gooily, stickily, sweetly attractive. It’s want a part of us very much wants to feel – and that’s just why we do. And that’s also okay, it’s not a sin. It’s a bit silly, and it’s certainly not happy, but it’s not a sin. (Okay, it’s true, Ken is telling us that enough is enough, alright!) There is an immense space of clarity and detachment available right there in which we can see the other as confused, maybe very confused, and unable to think clearly. He thinks he needs something – desperately. I guess we all do when we think our little lonesome self is all we’ve got. We can all understand that. At moments in our lives we’ve also been pretty adamant about what we need. I need air, for example. Oxygen is good. I’ll get pretty adamant, too, if I feel I need the oxygen you can give me. And, yes, I can be a little crazy, too.
Pam:”as I watch the ego play and asking J for help to Stop and just not go to ego thoughts in the first place. “..,
and you DID stop the whole craziness, did you not? appllauuse!
Thanks for all the helpful posts, we really find learning aids in this Village. And Zafu, your song is great.
Thanks Melody,Bernard,Zafu and Nina, It seems to have stopped on the level of form for now and when I told him that I was feeling harassed I wasn’t “feeling” angry or fearful at that moment I was feeling calm and peaceful but could see intellectually that it was becoming harassment and had to stop there for all our sakes(mine, his, cory’s, his family{he is caring for a disabled parent}kids and grandkids)quite the load for him; yet I slip out of the calm and into the fury and then back to the calm still today so I just try to watch the flip-flop as best I can with J and ask for help not to go to ego thought to start with.
I was excited to see my replies but can’t find them, when I click directly on them that usually takes me right to them in the forgive room…it only displays #399 Winnie’s last ponder in April 3rd. some techno blip is at hand…but thanks for your comments and forgiveness on my ad nauseum post…yes that’s what the forgiveness page is for.
Can someone else please click on ponders to me and see if you can see ponders past the April 3 date that is the last one I can see. Maybe I should look for my replies in forgive within the fireside room.
Hey Michele it is working for me I came in several different ways and everything is here. Sometimes I have had a page not full load on various sites and if I refreash the page everything comes back the way it should most of the time if not going to a different website and then comming back”fresh” usally does the trick.
{{{{Zafu #}}}}…#412 !! yay…i made it back to our forgiveness page. i was locked out a while. We lock ourselves out here…
So great to read everyone’s comments. Katrina in the ocean sounded best perfect Saab story laughter..thank you
Glad you’re feeling better Annie …loved your post to Melody.
I have some catching up to do within these rooms. Staying in the present loving all of you with me now.
Spoke with my older sister yesterday over the phone-we only live 30 minutes from each other. We were catching up with the parent situation and her exact words to me were, God forgive me, but we won’t know peace until Dad passes.
There it was again! That belief that death would deliver peace. And yes to a body there will be peace. But not to the One Mind that we all share. I feel like I am being programmed to truly grasp this concept. A little more calibrating seems to be in order.
Another belief that is currently being challenged is the grandiose idea that I can bring comfort to another. Maybe all the ego stroking of having the job title ‘nurse’ has finally filled my head with delusions of grandeur- that I can take on any kind of pain and dispense comfort with just a smile.
I told a friend I would never leave them (emotionally speaking) and now I find that I’m operating on emotional burn out and I have to limit my available time. How come being kind to me feels like I’m letting them down? I know that on the one hand they understand but the physical pain can not be denied. Another forgiveness opportunity we both agreed.
Dear Annie
*sigh*
I’m sure it will all work out for you both.
Since this is always inevitable, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait -and wait without anxiety!” Sorry to answer in “Course Talk” – but in this case – it fits!
{{{Anne}}}
I welcome your thoughts and appreciate the feed back.
The Course will bring us home all ~ other talk is fluff.
♡ to Annie
About holding on to guilt…
I have a friend who has a habit of coming a little late…and when we do Focusing on Skype, she finds something very important to speak about 10 seconds before our agreed-on time is up… I tell her that breaking commitments affects the safety and trust of the container of our work – she tells me she understands that and next time does exactly the same.
She is not the only one: I think I can count on one hand the people I meet who does keep time and agreements. And since the world is an outer image of an inner condition, I see that this must be something that I want: the only thing that keeps me from Heaven, is my belief that there is something more valuable than Heaven.
After saying goodbye for good to Sibyl – I don’t want that kind of communication any longer – I had dreams of being responsible to carry everybody and housing everybody, helpless and powerless to lock my door to those who were parasites. I asked H.S. what I was holding on to – and heard that I was holding on to the feeling of being victimized and being wronged – because then I got to feel right and just and good and on the “right side.” Consequently I have to look for and want people like Sybil to play that role so I don’t have to, and can be a good girl instead. I am holding onto things going wrong and people wronging me: I am the innocent one now. I keep agreements. I accept the rules and limits. I don’t come late. If I screw up, I look at it and see it and apologize. I am innocent – and they are not. This is not making me happy. Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? (Well, both of course) I see how I am constantly on the lookout for what is wrong, and boy does that choice have consequences: I experience being wronged and sabotaged by lots of outer influences – and that includes my computer.
I clearly see how my choice to look for what is wrong and scary and unjust has consequences to me: I draw the parasites to me, the disrespectful ones, the brutal ones – because I insist on the role of the innocent, and that means that there must be a role of the guilty.
I clearly think separation is real, don’t I – smile –
I am told to open the Course randomly to hear what it says:
T-12.VII.5. You see what you expect, and you expect what you invite. 2 Your perception is the result of your invitation, coming to you as you sent for it. 3 Whose manifestations would you see? 4 Of whose presence would you be convinced? 5 For you will believe in what you manifest, and as you look out so will you see in. 6 Two ways of looking at the world are in your mind, and your perception will reflect the guidance you have chosen.
To find this send a rush of gratitude and healing through me: I found this truth even before i read it. I am guided and safe. I gratefully read on:
T-12.VII.6. I am the manifestation of the Holy Spirit, and when you see me it will be because you have invited Him. 2 For He will send you His witnesses if you will but look upon them. 3 Remember always that you see what you seek, for what you seek you will find. 4 The ego finds what it seeks, and only that. 5 It does not find love, for that is not what it is seeking.
T-12.VII.7. I said before that what you project or extend is up to you, but you must do one or the other, for that is a law of mind, and you must look in before you look out. 2 As you look in, you choose the guide for seeing. 3 And then you look out and behold his witnesses. 4 This is why you find what you seek.
T-12.VII.8. When you want only love you will see nothing else. 2 The contradictory nature of the witnesses you perceive is merely the reflection of your conflicting invitations. 3 You have looked upon your mind and accepted opposition there, having sought it there. 4 But do not then believe that the witnesses for opposition are true, for they attest only to your decision about reality, returning to you the messages you gave them. 5 Love, too, is recognized by its messengers. 6 If you make love manifest, its messengers will come to you because you invited them.
T-12.VII.11. When you have accepted your mission to extend peace you will find peace, for by making it manifest you will see it. 2 Its holy witnesses will surround you because you called upon them, and they will come to you. 3 I have heard your call and I have answered it, but you will not look upon me nor hear the answer that you sought. 4 That is because you do not yet want only that.
In this moment, I remember something I did hold in the dream, that was not a burden: it was a little dog. I was as big as a baby. It moved around in my arms to find the perfect position for its sweet adorable head, and now my tears are floating: he looked up at me with perfect trust and endless love: you are holding me, I am safe in your arms.
Dear God – You are holding me, I am safe in your arms. Nothing else is true.
Dearest, darling Nina –
For me, this is your most tender, beautiful post yet – one that has reduced me to tears, happy tears, and I thank you for that blessing.
love always,
a
Wonderfully peaceful Nina.
Thank you
That was a true gift, Nina. A deep, heartfelt thank you to you.
I have a guilt-tooth. Okay, I had that one pulled, and then the one next to it became my next ‘guilt-tooth’, and that was pulled, too. (No, not the two front ones, silly!) I think probably everyone has some part of the body they project their condemnation and fear on to, don’t they? Well, I’m in line for my third guilt-tooth if I don’t change something quickly!! And so now that I’m ever-so-much-wiser-than-I-have-ever-been-before (he says), I see that it’s time to find a different approach. I can see this differently. I can see loving kindness instead of this conflict.
I noticed that I felt inner opposition to the pain this tooth is causing me, as if it shouldn’t be causing me pain, and darn it, it’s just plain wrong if it does! So there’s judgment, resistance and opposition going on. And so I heard about this article someone wrote, something about flowing with resistance, and I thought, heck, I don’t have to fight this pain and make it my enemy. In that moment I felt almost like my tooth started to talk to me, like it started to have an identity on its own.
It was quite funny, and it told me that it was feeling like a scared little child, like I was going to take its life away with all this philosophical thinking I’ve been doing recently about the non-existence of the self. I then heard myself automatically reassuring it that it was okay, there was nothing to fear, nothing would be taken away, and I would go only as fast as it wanted me to and would not push it around.
It seemed happy with that. I can say that the pain has not gone away, but it is much less acute and I can see that my approach to myself and my work has shifted just a tiny bit, just that little bit kinder. I see I don’t have to make myself scared anymore. Love does not cost anything. In any case, Love is just as gentle as warm sunshine on the skin after the winter, nothing scarier than that.
starting at ponder #421 Annie, Anne, Nina, Bernard. :::SMILE:::
On the subject of ‘death is not a solution’… I love the idea and it sends my head spinning, but I just wanted to add a thought or two about this.
I don’t think we should go too deep with this because it might set our thoughts and emotions going crazy for some time. There might be a temptation to believe that thought that ‘death is a solution’ is a mistake or somehow wrong or to be avoided. It is to be avoided like we would try to avoid oxygen or food. We also believe oxygen and food are solutions, and on a certain level, they are.
On a certain level they are not, but while we are here we are going to have the experience that they are. Likewise with death. I even heard Ken say the other day (texto) “the person (who was very ill) might be much better off (dead) and probably is”. What this means is that for a looooong time still, it will be appropriate to work with the images and metaphors we have fabricated for ourselves in this illusion. It is only much later that we get to see that death was never a solution because nothing ever really died (or lived). But while we have the experience and perception of death, it can indeed sometimes be a solution.
For someone who is ill or old and very depressed or chronically unhappy with life and just waiting for the end, death might indeed be a solution, and a kind and positive one at that. Of course we should remember that this person will not go anywhere but simply have a brief experience of no longer having the source of his bother with him (his body and its life) before coming back again (revolving doors from a chronological perspective). The kind perception is always the one that uses any Course theory to move us toward Love and Comfort and away from fear.
The ‘death is not a solution’ idea is useful to us students of ACIM who might be tempted to think that we just have to work this difficult Course for a few more years, being forgiving folks, and then it’s an easy ride downhill to God as we pass from this body. That’s not really how it works, even though we might actually have that experience at the end of our lives. Upon death we can imagine the arms of comfort around us even as in this living dream we can imagine exiting a difficult situation for a comforting one. But after some non-linear time in the ethers, that same old feeling of, “darn it, I’m missing something here, better go back to earth and find out what it is” returns. That’s why Ken is suggesting we start to work with his radical idea. It can make a real contribution to us if we manage to unearth all the reasons for which we thought death was, indeed, some kind of a solution for us. What do we specifically think it will give us, or end for us? What reaction does it bring up in us when we hear the words, “Death is not a solution because nothing changes. There is no death because there is no life. An illusion is an illusion is an illusion. A dream is a dream is a dream.” ?
I found a really perverse thought in myself when thinking about this. When I really seriously considered the idea that we cannot die, I felt this loud voice inside saying ‘this is definitely not good news!’ and I couldn’t figure out why. I then got that the sensation was one of indignation: “How the hell am I going to show everyone how wrong they were that they didn’t appreciate me more while I was living if I don’t damn well die! I need people to miss me and think, gosh, what a loss!” Just another layer being peeled off the ego monster. I was actually quite okay with the thought of dying if I knew that people would feel loss and horrible guilt at my departure, especially when I knew that I wasn’t really going to die. That way I could get all the cookies and not pay for them. It was a real slap in the face when I found out that I could not die, and then when I saw the real manipulative reason for which I had found ‘peace’ with the idea of my death. So I’m the only one thinking this way, right?
Yes, only you are thinking such manipulative thoughts! I’m gonna miss you-
you manipulative cookie monster. (:
So now that we have sufficiently discussed death…we can move on to the other truth, taxes.
Lisi mentioned doing taxes the other day. US taxes are due on April 15th and just in the nik of time, our government almost shut down the other day. Such drama…death and taxes.
Thanks – Pondering Pam!
::smile, too !!::
Annie – at first glance, I thought you wrote “texas!”
;D
Nina, so much insight in 425. I got very upset with my boss during a staff meeting yesterday. I felt so attacked. This quote fits perfectly T-12.VII.5. You see what you expect, and you expect what you invite. 2 Your perception is the result of your invitation, coming to you as you sent for it.” Over lunch I was able to remember that I’m never upset for the reason I think and own my part in it. Last night I had a meditation where I felt perfectly safe craddled in the hands of God. And today even though we received a rather nasty email from the boss I just felt lighthearted and happy, was able to joke about it with coworkers. Bev(:
Annie, your constancy and love are nursing enough! Even the body can give a right minded message telling you to rest. An unhealed healer needs to heal, first. When you are strong, just your smile and caring words help anyone you direct them to. I sure wouldn’t have better words than Bernard about the death thoughts. The not knowing how long it is going to go on makes it feel like everything has to be ASAP, and there’s urgency of trying to please someone who is really beyond pleasing, but still there’s the longing to make it as right as possible.
Nina and Lisi, thank you so much for your beautiful dreams and poems and ponderings on limits.
Tex Anne, rest up and take care of your quiet lil’ self. (yeah, quiet down…heh, heh)
Thanks, katrina!
Texas, yes I do miss the days of calling you Texas! or TexAnne as Katrina puts- its got a happy sound to it. You always like to keep things lite and happy. Hope you are doing well.
I am well, thank you, Annie!
And you can call always me Texas or TexAnne or anything you like.
Yep, that’s me – light, joy and peace.
And happiness!
Hope you are doing well, as well!
😀
And thanks Katrina for the love. Right now its your smile and constancy reminding me to just keep moving along.
Bev: I like how your last sentence reflected your choice of seeing with HS. It can’t help but be a happy ending. You work quickly in both your day and night dreaming. Hope today is even happier for you and all.
That was a lovely experience, Bev. I could go in for some ‘craddled in the hands of God.’
Nina, on 425, that was really a beautiful experience. So tender, so loving. Thanks!!!
Bernard on 429 I had to smile. How complicated we are as these “human beings” we think we are. And on 431, I really liked it. It is really interesting whenever we pay close attention to our thoughts how we can discover behind everything we think that insidious voice of specialness, and it is really great we are able to laugh about it.
Bev thanks for sharing your experience, the Course, works! yeah!
Katrina, loved your words to Annie, so true, so loving, so heartfelt. Thank you.
“To everyone I offer quietness.”
“To everyone I offer peace of mind.”
“To everyone I offer gentleness.”
Giving and receiving are the same. I was thinking of a syphon. Once I suck on the hose a moment or two, the pent up steady supply from above starts flowing out.
“To everyone i offer joy.”
“To everyone i offer outrageous silliness”
“To everyone I offer forgiveness.”
Oh, yeah! That’s great! “To everyone I offer outrageous silliness.”
Don’t expect anything too serious from me today, folks!
I share this from Myron Jones’ last lesson blog. What a wonderful way to look at medical challenges, sickness and pain.
I have been experiencing a medical challenge, and during the day I would remind myself that the body is experiencing symptoms, but I am not. I am not the body. I would use my mantra often to break the cycle of thinking. But then would go back to obsessing about the problem, and this was the back and forth battle I was waging with myself when I went to sleep. I slept fitfully and woke up often with the remnants of troubling dreams in my mind.
Finally, the last time it happened I thought that maybe I should get up. I couldn’t get comfortable and I was tired of fighting for sleep. So I asked, “What would you have me do?” The thought that came into my mind was to clean house, to dump all the ego thoughts in to the Holy Spirit trashcan. LOL. So that’s what I did.
I looked at each thought as it came into my mind, beginning with the big pieces of trash. I looked at the fear thoughts that this was serious, that it would change my life, that it would be very painful. Then when I had looked at every miserable and awful scenario the ego could come up with, and had tossed them into the trash, I looked at the smaller, subtler pieces.
I noticed how each thought was an “I” or “me” thought. I will feel this way, I will have to do this, what will happen to me, thoughts. Each thought was a way for the ego to draw me away from my purpose and to place itself on the throne of my mind. Each of these thoughts further established my personhood, making me seem more and more distant and separate from all others. Each of these thoughts was a body identification thought. They insisted that how the body feels would determine my mood and my future. I tossed these beliefs into the trash.
In the empty place where all those thoughts had been I saw the certainty that I don’t know what any of it is for, and that I don’t know what I am to do about it if anything. The Holy Spirit has not yet directed me and I will not direct myself. I will make no plans, nor make any decisions on my own. I felt the peace of surrender and I smiled as I fell into a deep sleep. Nice.
I needed this Nina. Thanks to you and Myron.
I wanted to share today’s blog with my family here.
Lesson 121: Forgiveness is the key to happiness
W-pI.121.6. Forgiveness is acquired. 2 It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. 3 As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you. 4 Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. 5 Thus you return your mind as one to Him Who is your Self, and Who can never sin.
The self I think I made…that is me. It is my projections: the world and “other people.
This sentence is so healing for me – to recognize that I have NOT made the world and other people – but I certainly think I have. Or the ego thinks it, and I identify with it to keep my specialness.
In todays exercise, we are told to visualize an enemy or person we don’t like in front of us, look for a spot of light in him/her and allow it to spread. I chose a doctor I recently visited, who advised me to take an injection for a MR. When I referred her to an article in our main newspaper about the latest research which showed lethal consequences of ingesting this drug, she smirked and told me not to believe in what newspapers are writing.
In doing the exercise, it becomes evident that I am looking at a “self” I believe I have made, and who I have given enormous power by believing it is dangerous and out to get my soul. I remember that this self is not real, and only my belief makes it seem so. I look at this person, and affirm that my will is aligned with H.S. I don’t see light from her – but behind my closed eyes, a big light is growing. I become aware that I am looking at this “dominator-self” that I THINK I have made.
Suddenly its head is severed from the body, and it falls backwards, still connected to the body. I see a fountain of dark images and stories pouring out of the body in front of me, like a geyser. I am well aware that those are images and stories that I have attached a “me” to.
I sit for quite a while and look at the images and forgive what I think I have made I only think it – no harm has happened in reality.
When I look at the doctor – form, I still cannot see a light around her, but I hear her say “thank you” and take my hands. I get the idea that I will send her the article and underline what I believe in – and tell her that with two so different thought systems, I don’t think this doctor-patient-relationship will serve me. I sense that there is no judgment in this – just an acknowledgment of what I have seen.
And I feel such gratitude for our meeting – what a good projection-carrier she has been.
I sat for a long while and just witnessed the drama evaporating – forgiving the images of this self I thought I have made.
A little while later I was sitting with my mail, doing three things at the same time – and recognizing that I was believing in a self that was used to being overwhelmed, and therefore tried to” help” herself by control and harsh mental abuse. As soon as I recognized this self who is not me, and gave my willingness to be wrong about this strategy of overwhelm being important, the chaos and overwhelm-feelings evaporated.
Thanks Bernard for the handly mantra: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
I wrote this piece years back when I knew nothing about ACIM. I remembered it after the news of Obama’s death and re-read it just now. I know I could just as much change the name from McVeigh to Obama and reflect still how I feel. What’s revealing to me however this time is the recognition of a budding ACIM student. Smiling.
“Musings on McVeigh, on Life and Death
Do we humans really feel the need to kill someone to ease the pain and the sorrow over the loss of a loved one? Will the pain really go away? Will there really be peace? Will there really be healing? Will it really please the souls of the departed ones? Are there souls? Will they feel avenged? Do we really believe the departed ones’ lives have a purpose other than what happened to them? Is there an awareness that we are missing in the light of the tragic incident of the Oklahoma bombing? How precious is life? It’s so precious we should kill?
Are we humans really divided? Is there really a you and a me? Is there really a right and a wrong? Can humanity really find peace in the knowing that there are enemies? Can we constantly live in fear, knowing that there is always a Timothy McVeigh around us? Can the death of one Timothy McVeigh give us a feeling of security. How many more Timothy McVeighs are out there? Millions? I’ll dare say. Shall we kill them all now?
Are we who shout “ Death to Timothy McVeigh” the righteous ones? Are we the proverbial saints and angels and McVeigh the devil? Is death by killing the ultimate crime that gets our indignation? What about the death inflicted by other means? Death though cigarette smoking? Death through drug use? Death through abortion? Death through starvation? Death through war? Death through suicide? It is happening every second of every day. They just don’t get in the news anymore. Because it is so common. Is the means of death the measure of our righteous indignation? What about people that simply goes through the motion of being alive? Are they dead or alive? Is precious for you, precious for everyone?
And the irony of it is, in a way, we are all responsible for some or all of these deaths. Even the death of another one’s soul. We did not have a bomb we exploded to these people but we might as well have done that. Why are we so passive about these deaths? Because we know we are somehow responsible? Because we didn’t do anything? Because we know there’s a lot of us doing the same thing (being passive) and so it must be ok? Majority rules? Could we have done something to prevent any of them?
Could it be that the awareness we are missing is the realization that we are all one and the pain we are inflicting to each other, we are inflicting to ourselves? What stops us from accepting and believing that Timothy McVeigh is a reflection of a part of ourselves that we refuse to see or acknowledge. That Timothy McVeigh mirrors our growing indifference and belief that we are divided. There was hatred in Timothy McVeigh. Stronger than ours. There was fear in Timothy McVeigh. Stronger than ours. There was no love in Timothy McVeigh. And we’re getting there. And then what happens?”