Village Square III
In our AcimVillage, we have the plane tree that stands in the central village square. Its enormous branches spread out to cover an area wide enough to provide shade on a warm day for many a traveller or tradesman. Water bubbles and trickles from a stone fountain on the eastern side. It is under the plane tree and by the fountain that wandering sages have traditionally lead conversation with the local people, before setting off again on their way; it is here that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom.
Rules to ponder…
Study of A Course In Miracles benefits greatly from sharing our experiences in its practice. Here you can talk about what works, or doesn’t, for you, taking obvious care not to be ‘preachy’, please. We all learn best when someone talks from their own experience, rather than tries to tell us what we should be doing differently. Let’s take the position that none of us are teachers, we are all at the same point returning on the path Homeward. All of us will still be making mistakes for a while yet, so let’s be particularly humble and caring in how we deal with each other. Please keep in mind that this is a site dedicated to the approach Kenneth Wapnick takes to teaching ACIM. I shall certainly do my best to bring everyone back to the core principles as taught by him.
I would also like to point out that AcimVillage is the place to come to explore our judgments, but not to express them as judgments. If you feel you need to gripe, criticize and vent, even subtly, then contact me privately (at bernard@pauloandthemagician.com) where I will receive you with kindness and understanding. Please do not do so in the forums where I will inevitably moderate out this kind of post. Remember, you will feel better only when you are able to move past the investment in your judgments, not simply by unloading them for everyone to see. This means taking responsibility for your perceptions and acknowledging that ultimately no one has prevented you from feeling completely peaceful and safe, despite what might appear to be the unfortunate conditions of your life at this time. (I know, this is hard. Contact me if you’re struggling.)
So, two basic rules here. One, we avoid mention of other approaches to the study of ACIM (non-Wapnickian) as well as to other philosophies we might be studying. This is purely to achieve a stable, comfortable learning forum where we are all aiming at the same goal, using the same symbols and language to get there. This is not to cast any judgment on any other approaches or philosophies. ACIM is a sufficiently difficult path to undertake without bringing more confusion into our study than our minds already contain! If you have benefited from other paths and would like to share your thoughts, by all means do so. Just please do this in the privacy of your personal emails. It’s also my personal opinion (take it or leave it) that at some point a student of ACIM is much better off sticking with one set of symbols and one teacher, and working with these thoroughly, instead of getting too dispersed. Rule two, we try not to play ‘teacher’ with each other here, reminding ourselves to be humble and always equal with our brother.
Enjoy the discussion!
Oh Hedda, I will gladly pick you up from LAX and drive you to Ventura on Saturday don’t even think about a shuttle. Then maybe if Katrina is free on Thursday the 13th we could all meet somewhere in Ojai…time of course depending on the Seminar schedule. We can kick around some other times later as I’m sure you won’t really know your availability till after the your orientation.
Lesson 50
I am sustained by the Love of God
“It is a declaration of release from the belief in idols. It is the acknowledgment of the truth about yourself”
We have all lost something of great value to us (probably multiple times) I suppose we usually feel it was taken from us-so Katie’s exercise to give up something willingly seems to embrace this Lesson 50 from a different angle. Of course, if we truly know that we are a mind all of this can be done mentally and that would definitely be the normal way to do the exercise.
Visualizing HS on the sidelines cheering for the Decision Maker to choose the right mind.
10 minutes of trying to let myself remember that…
:: I am sustained by the Love of God ::
I sure hope so. I do not know what sustains me, as my mind starts to unravel, and I cannot see ….what next ?
I’ve never had my heart or my gut ever ripped out, but who knew that psychological pain could feel so intense ?
Of course, that is a rhetorical question ! (=
I am quite certain that everyone in our Village has experienced it, and survived it. Perhaps it is one element of what brought each of us to search for a better way of living in the world, of asking how can one live in this world ?
It is not dissimilar to the time when Bill Thetford stood up and suddenly stated ” there must be a better way”
Thank you, Bill, for voicing our collective pleas of desperation. Your voice is our voice. And without this blue book, without Bill and Helen and Judy and Ken and Gary and Jamie and Bernard and everyone in this Village, perhaps I would never have been able to find the moments of release from the demands of my world, to be able to gather up the fragments of my mind, and to find myself with the slightly improved stability to see myself through another day.
I think of our Peggy having lunch with Bill, and although I was not there, it is a bright image. How cool that must have been. Michele and I spoke of Bill…of how we both felt that he had achieved enlightenment in this life, I was lamenting my point of view that I don’t think I will ever complete my lessons of forgiveness in this life, I seem to have so many ! (=
Every where I turn, I can only see a special relationship, or a grievance, and I am not able to muster up the energy to forgive so continually, so constantly.
But enough about me. I will spriing out of bed and get on with my day.
may I remember today, and constantly through the day..
:: I am sustained by the Love of God ::
Thank you Katrina for letting me know !!!! I didn’t plan to bring anything of value except my phone and passport!!! Annie are you sure about picking me up ? That would be fantastic !
Now I have to e-mail Bernard to see if I can get your private e-mail.
Sorry Village family who try to do the workbook with me going all wild here ! Take it as a forgiveness lesson 😉 I will soon shut up . And ACIM is always my base but Katie is also helpful to me in many ways .
But Hedda, we don’t want you to “shut up”.! (=
Please share your excitement and planning for your US trip on whatever section of the Village you want ! (= its fun to participate vicariously, even though I will not be here in California at that time. (I currently live in Singapore and travel for business here)
This in re: to your earlier post where it seemed like you were asking whether I am also in California at that time ? If I misunderstood, my apologies !
Have fun, Hedda. Very happy to know that soon you will be here with Katie, Katrina, Annie…
That is so kind of you to say, dear Anil and you didn’t misunderstand me 🙂 I
Hi Hedda, yeah, we love to hear your enthusiasm.
Katie, both her and her course, is fantastic and each of her lessons has amazing spiritual gifts you will receive and use your whole life. Yet, the Course gives us a precious lesson about resistance. It is okay. Ken would say that fear is not a sin. So, when my friend gave her ring, she didn’t care about the monetary value, she just wasn’t ready to give up her grandma’s symbol of love. But, there was the peer pressure and she could see the beauty of identifying your values and putting spirit first. She said, in retrospect, she woulda preferred to know this possibility. You are no doubt free to simply say, hmmmm, i think i have too much resistance to this.
I am free Thursday the 13th for an Ojai adventure!
I’m nuts today. I posted lesson 50 on Facebook. Ha, ha, not that nuts, not on MY ego’s page. I put it on as a response to one of the responses to my sister’s posting about meditating. That way, it is up to her to delete it, and she’s probably the only one to see it, anyway. She actually said it was perfect because the fellow is a devout Christian who fears Satan invading that meditative space, and doesn’t like her Tao/Buddha explorations. She liked that it used the Christian terms to explain meditation as a path to God’s Love.
Yet another friend of mine went to a David Hawkins lecture a few years back. Dr. Hawkins is Course educated and is an author of his own spiritual explorations. He does this “strength testing” where you hold out your arm, he poses a fact and pushes down on your arm, and your strength to hold it up shows your belief. There are variations of what is asked. These always get beyond your opinion.
He said that he found that after a person has finished the 50th lesson in ACIM, their balance of belief in the world or belief in God was consistently changed. He said that in a group of participants he was able to recognize us. Sorry, just had to pull that out of my ol’ bag cause today is the day.
Last night I was kinda sad… like again, the “men have died on seeing this” phase…. today – I am sustained by the Love of God….Not the Love FOR God. I guess that comes later, when I learn to relearn what Love really is (and is not).
So today I thought – God is not angry – He merely could not let this happen (ego being real)
Then I thought about the Lesson (107) that states: Try to remember when there was a time,—perhaps a minute, maybe even less—when nothing came to interrupt your peace; when you were certain you were loved and safe. Then try to picture what it would be like to have that moment be extended to the end of time and to eternity. Then let the sense of quiet that you felt be multiplied a hundred times, and then be multiplied another hundred more.
And now you have a hint, not more than just the faintest intimation of the state your mind will rest in when the truth has come.
And there really is nothing to fear!
I guess it is the 50 lesson phenomenon!
I was once in a study group that took one year to get through the first 50 pages of the text. Amazing!
Love you all – my Village Family!
I am sustained by the Love of God. The Energizer Bunny doesn’t run with out its batteries, is that to simple minded of a thing to say? You see, Gods not the battery and God is not the cute little pink bunny. The battery contains the means or the energy to get the bunny moving, but that is as unreal as the rest.
So somebody tell me please, what makes that cute little bunny clang those symbols and look so damn happy. (: I did some catch up reading of posts tonight, similar to what Anil said to Peggy, something like I loved you all before and now I love you more.
Happy “B” day to come for your little one Katrina. I like the picture a lot. By the way It is my short term memory that is most troubling. Thanks for sharing your husbands past procedures and well being. And, thanks to the rest of my family for the kind words. It is good to see you here Richard another man among all the roses. (or of course the flower of your choice ladies)
Nina, I miss you and want to let you know I am still reading your book, as well as one of Kens, A Course In Miracles and Christianity A Dialogue, Co-authored by W. Norris Clark. He inscribed it as well. How cool is that? It appears to say: To Care is Love & Peace, Ken
God bless us every One
lawrence
dear all – I want to share the blogpost today with you all. Lawrence, thank you for telling me you are still reading my book. I tend to believe that people open it and put it on a shelf ):
I have just ended Lisa Natoli’s 40 days in the desert-program
I woke up at 5am with the usual poisonous-like pains in the body, asked for help and remembered Lisa’s theory that when we do not extend the Love that we are – because we forget Who we are – then that energy is turned inward and turns poisonous. It is just energy that is not used the way it is supposed to.
Love wants to be shared – and right now, I was subconsciously blocking it. I instantly offer to share this love – with whom?
I instantly see images from Congo. Joshua French, the Norwegian man who at first was accused of murdering a Congolese driver together with his friend Tjostolf Moland. Recently Moland died in prison, and French was accused of having murdered him too.
I extend Love to the whole situation and everyone involved, It feels indescribably good, and all poison is gone. While I am extending the Love, there are no thought of judgments, no wondering what this is for, no trying to fix – just allowing unconditional Love into the whole situation.
Then the ego sneaks in an claims the forgiveness as its own: a “me” being the good, forgiving and saintly one and the Congolese authorities as the baddies – and I asked for help to see this differently. I was shown that what was needed was just a change of my perception of the whole situation – orchestrated as the good and innocent ones and the bad overpowering ones .I remembered Ken’s incessant reminders to his students: The Course is not about changing the world – there is no world – it is about healing the thoughts in the mind that are projected into this world and seemingly creating wars, disasters and evil – and also so-called “good.”
How sobering! All I need to forgive is my perception of the situation – which included distributing character traits, guilt, and blame, as the ego loves it. The world is a play, as Shakespeare realized. What I see with my physical eyes are only projections of thoughts in the mind – seeming so very real and alive – but still only a projection we humans get caught in.
A beautiful peace ascends on me as I am taken back to Truth – and I pray for help to see the Congo-play differently, and to have my vision of it corrected. As I do this, it feels like looking at figures in an old black-and-white movie, they are flickering shadows. I ask to see clearly, and the figures turn out to be actors distributing roles between them. This scene plays out on the plane before incarnation: “Oh what a great play! So much to learn! You will play the poor Joshua French, and I will play the mean and ugly prosecutor – and then you get to be the innocent one and I will seem to be the villain – yes, and the Congolese will have bald shiny heads and black suits and they will scream as they prosecute…” and I see them laughing and shaking hands as they distribute the roles in the drama –
– and then I see the “actors” DE-ROLING – now all the “actors” are standing there before me – everybody has “donned” their roles and have acquired important experiences and life-lessons that their souls have wanted. They all have got what they wanted, as the Course teaches – not on the level of the human, but on the level of soul. Now I see only light-beings – and after a little while, I see only One. And It is looking back at me, and saying:
This is all a dream – and you are dreaming it. Forgive yourself: you are the Holy Son of God* who fell asleep and dreamed up a world where there seemed to exist something else than God’s Love and God’s Will. Come Home to your Sacred Self
*
((Hedda))) and smiles ! (=
Nina, thanks for posting your blog here. It was interesting to me when I went to your blog today and discovered that it is the 40th day milestone for your program with Lisa. I really like Lisa, and of course, I love you ! (=
You have been an angel in my path to peace. And in moments such as these can never thank Jamie and Bernard enough.
Today is also the 51st day of the year, and the first review period of the workbook. I remember how bored and irritated I used to get when the Review period time came the first time I went through the workbook so many years ago. (Tis is my 3rd or 4th time through in the last 9 years, but I stopped counting. I am inspired by Peggy, her long post recently on the subject seems to answer a non-voiced question I had for myself earlier this year…I.e. should I commit to myself to do the course every year forevermore ? I seem to be inclined towards that particularly inspire by dear Peggy. I think there is no hurry, I can decide on Jan 1 next year after this years run through…)
But today, there is no boredom or irritation, I have finally reached a stage where I look forward to the review, to dive deeper into its healing waters, to mull over its first five lessons all together, for the rest of the day.
I have finished the first read through, I find the instructions confusing, the form of the practice for the day seems to be saying one thing, then another.
But no matter, the form is not the issue. The 5 ideas are.
4. These thoughts do not mean anything.
This one resonates to me. My thoughts of my ex-wife, my thoughts about my son dont mean anything. I can see the Love I have for them, but it is colored deeply by pain, surely God does not want me to think of them with pain, only Love.
All my worries about whether my son will forget me are only that. Thoughts I think without God.
For even if he forgets me, will I stop loving him ?
Never.
Will the pain I feel for having failed him, or seemingly abandon him ever release its hold on my heart ? I hope so.
For God is kind, God only wishes love for everyone, including a miserable sinner like me. For God is a love that never dies.
God is Love.
And so all these thoughts I think without God, these painful thoughts mean nothing.
May I see the truth of that for the rest of this day.
And all the four other thoughts that form the foundation of today’s Review.
I am grateful for this opportunity to practice.
What I call “my” thoughts are not my real thoughts.
Amen.
aloha
the last words in the lessons today … I am willing to let it go
a fun way to practice this is … if you know the holiday song ..
“oh the weather outside is frightful …. let it snow let it snow let it snow”
make up your own verses then sing “let it go let it go let it go”!!
this is such a healing happy releasing I sing and practice it ofetn
happy singing everyone!!
aloha
Great to hear from you all and Nina, your book is so intense so I need to read it really slowly !
Katrina, Nina gave me Annie’s e-mail so now I can correspond by mail 🙂
Lesson 169: By grace I live. By grace I am released
Hi everyone. So nice to see you all so busy here.
I like Byron Katie’s work, too. Her questioning process is similar to what Ken has been teaching us with his three steps of forgiveness, although the end process is not entirely the same. Both processes, as far as I see, ask us to become aware of what we are thinking and believing, to realize this is a choice, that we have been making choices that have been hurting us, and that we can choose again.
However, Ken asks us to become more and more aware of WHY we keep returning to thoughts of separation (judgment of others and self), and the cost of doing so. I think that a significant portion of the process is located in that little three letter word ‘WHY’. We learn that we keep ourselves in a separated state (of unhappiness, pain, anger and judgment) in order to keep our thought system of separation alive. I am part of that thought system, and so undoing my judgments will lead to the undoing of what I currently consider to be ‘me’.
I really need to appreciate the extend of my split mind – that is so important. Yes, a part of me wants the peace that will come from releasing these harmful thoughts and beliefs. But we vastly underestimate the other part of our minds which is still deeply, heavily invested in judgments and pain of all kind.
And so I conclude that I am insane, and I learn to observe my insanity more and more frequently, and in more detail. I plunge back into this insanity every time I have the slightest thought that is not truly peaceful, denying the peace that is in my mind (which is part of God’s, as per the workbook lesson). I am willing to sacrifice the experience and realization of the presence of God in my mind in order to feel the pain, loneliness, anger, fearfulness and frustration of ‘me’. And I learn to observe this with a deeper and deeper love for the confused decision-maker, and for his fear in making the right choice.
It is not just a question of letting go our harmful beliefs, but in developing a deeper and deeper appreciation for our difficulty in doing so, and why we find it so difficult. This will help us realize in the end that it is not a host of different, harmful beliefs that stops us from finding the peace we seek. It is just one belief, in the sinfulness of a non-existent separation, that is our problem, a separation and a sinfulness that above all we want to be true. This will help us make that final choice so that one day we will be ready to say, enough is enough: I prefer the Love of God to any crazy, ludicrous thought of an individualized self and world.
Love to you all.
Some thoughts about returning to the right mind…
The Course is all about teaching us that we have a mind, that it is split into two parts, and to have us make a conscious (rather than unconscious) choice about the part to which we want to bring our attention.
The wrong mind contains a false thought system which leads us to many false thoughts and beliefs. It is very useful to identify these false, self-condemning thoughts in order to make the decision to no longer share their purpose. As Ken has been telling us for years, purpose is everything. It is by recognizing the purpose of these thoughts that we make the real, profound change in our minds that the Course came to teach. These thoughts are not there by accident but because of their role in our minds. We do not like these thoughts particularly, we do not like the pain they lead to, but we adore the purpose they serve.
It is not enough to decide against these thoughts – we must decide against their purpose. That purpose is to give flesh (literally and figuratively) to what we experience as our ‘selves’. That self is not there; it does not actually exist. But we experience that non-existent self by our continual insistence on a series of painful, condemning thoughts. ‘Someone’ is feeling these things. That someone is ‘me’.
If I start to really question the origin of these feelings, if I discover my unconscious choice for the thoughts which lead to this pain, then I will start to experience the non-importance and ultimately the non-existence of that self. Something in me takes great offense at that idea. Something in me takes great fear at that idea. So I must learn to appreciate the extent of my split mind and the enormous change that this process is ultimately leading me toward.
Our insistence on real outside causes is so ingrained in us that we do not see its extent. It is so important for the mind NOT to see its choice that it will obscure the real cause of the mind’s experience behind a thousand tiny thoughts, each one of which tries to justify and explain our feelings based on a million different outside events during the day. It is a constant process of projection that begins the moment we open our eyes in the morning. Our first thought is always, ‘How do I feel?’ This prompts the second thought which is always an explanation for that feeling based on the body’s condition and circumstances. And so it will go on throughout the day.
None of this is true. The only cause for what the mind feels is a simple decision to acknowledge the presence of the Love of God as the center of our life or the presence of a mind separate from and at war with God. The wrong choice will lead to this constant process of projecting the cause onto the world in a desperate, and usually successful, attempt to block all awareness of the real cause in the mind.
Choosing to be at war with God is not bad or sinful, although it is pretty insane. Not only is it impossible, but it cannot possibly lead to happiness. So we’re insane, and not just a little.
We need to appreciate the extent of that insanity, and not be fooled by any thoughts that would have us teach us we can be happy and satisfied as individual selves in this world. We don’t want to make a big deal about it if we do try once more: ‘Once I quit this job/relationship, once I get that promotion, once I heal this body…’ But we do want to recognize how much we are scared of the truth and cling to our notions of outside balance and happiness. The truth is that we already have everything we need to experience the most profound and fulfilling Love and Peace. And they are already there, within our mind.
So, how do we return to that inner place of peace? The real work of returning to our right mind doesn’t really happen by any active effort to return to the right mind. We access the right mind indirectly, not directly.
It is the process of recognizing our lack of complete peace, identifying what we think of as the outside cause, realizing the impossibility of this cause (because peace is a eternal constant within our minds), then realizing the extent to which we are attached to and attracted to this lack of peacefulness and to the outside ‘cause’.
If we do this last step with a deep appreciation of and love for the terribly confused and self-destructive decision-maker within us, then we will automatically be in the right mind. The wrong mind is all about seeing what appears to be a real outside cause, and doing so through the eyes of judgment. If we allow ourselves to doubt the outside cause, to consider the real inner cause, to see the true insanity of this choice for pain, and to do this without judgment, then we are in the right mind.
Identifying our self-harmful thoughts and choosing to let them go is a very positive, first step. Understanding their purpose and our desperate attachment to that purpose is the second and vital step in the process of healing our minds.
♡Post 115 sounds like a perfect addendum to Lesson Review #52♡
Review Lesson 52.
My private thoughts do not mean anything (10) because…
I see nothing as it is now (9).
I am enjoying combining Lessons and seeing their interconnectednesss. It will…it, as in, the Course will, get me out of here.
10.9 for the rest of the day.
Ciao, folks.
More review – still doing each lesson each day!
This must be J’s idea of heavily reinforcing it…
Boring when you don’t take it to heart – lol
Tex, good to hear from you. I was remembering your “..have died on seeing this” phase just a short while ago. Perhaps it was at the time you were posting 118.
Perhaps it is true that there are many mor ways to communicate than the ways of the world. “There are many more channels of communication tha n the narrow ones the world has conceived of”
I’m babbling, time to sleep.
G’night.
My thoughts do not mean anything, even the thoughts of my son, happy or painful, they are all the same, meaning nothing, because I see nothing as it is now.
I am following Lisa Natoli’s blogging on the courselessons. here is a little from today:
A miracle is a recognition. It is a “correction introduced into false thinking by me (Jesus). It acts as a catalyst, breaking up erroneous perception and reorganizing it properly.”
Before you were blind, and now you can see. That’s all.
That’s a miracle.
So, as the picture (the form) starts to change … do not be fooled in thinking there is anything happening. Nothing is happening. People appear to die … but death is impossible. No one goes anywhere. The form changes and that’s all.
We have been taught, here in the world, to respond to appearances. That’s all we do all day long. We let the body’s eyes guide us and then we respond as if the appearance is real … and that’s where you will get trapped.
So be vigilant to not use the body’s eyes.
Remember: Nothing dies. Nothing gets sick. The body is nothing. You are whole and perfect as you were created by God. Spirit never changes. It never goes anywhere.
Bernard, please delete if you find it not appropriate to post another teachers words. I find, though, that Ken’s way of teaching often blocks me from the beauty and truth inherent in them – while this plain from the gut talk I am open for.
Anyone interested in her blog through the course-lessons:
http:// gorgeousforgod.wordpress.com /2009/02/22/lesson-53/
mind the gaps
Review Lesson 53.
Is fantastic.
For me.
Normally, only one or at best two of the thoughts resonate for me. O I focus on those like Jesus says, but I do my best to review at night again, as suggested by the form of the lesson (which I still find confusing, any advice from anyone of you very welcome ! (=
Anyway, on 11 through 15. All five are gems.
For me.
And the comments go deep within my mind too. It feels like something is clicking down in the canyons of my mind, even as my life falls apart on the surface…but my surface life is a meaningless thought. And..
11. My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.
Which will naturally make me upset. Who cannot be upset, depressed, sad, angry or fearful seeing a meaningless world. It’s as certain as night following the day that..
12. I am upset because I see a meaningless world (which my meaningless thoughts show me)
And one of the greatest things the course has given me is the gem of an idea that there are actually only two emotions, fear and love. It is really a brilliant insight, and so true. And upset, which is fear, can take so many forms that I can live in them forever nd never reach the light. Thank God, my thoughts always seem to shift after some period of depression or upset I to the light that is available. Thank God I am an optimist by nature.
I do not know if I could handle being a pessimist, even if I had the Course with me.
13. A meaningless world engenders fear.
Of course, for the same reason that I am upset. Fear and upset are the same. What I need to see is that the meaningless world means nothing because reality is something else,which I have closed my eyes and vision to.
14. God did not create a meaningless world.
What God creates is eternal and perfect. A far cry from this meaningless world. Hallelujah ! (=
(My sister says I should have been a preacher. ha ! (=
And the final thought is the diamond among diamonds…
15. My thought are images I have made.
I think if I can truly believe that and accept it even for a second, I will burst through the screen into a momentary glimpse of reality.
I am grateful for the Review lessons. Oh wait, I said that already ! (=
Reading to days lesson review 53, what comes to mind is what I have come to believe. God is, and is always a constant presence, first and only Cause. God has always been. The Christ which is the Effect is embodied in Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit which in the bible was called down from heaven by Jesus is the Spirit that permeates all true creation. So, true creation is not of this world, and that knowledge is ours, but taping into this knowledge is what we are all about.
All through out my Big Blue, are bookmarks and when I read post 121 by Anil I opened her up and found a Veterans Assistance Program, that I have been looking for to help in an agent orange claim. I also found the following jewel. It is in chapter 14, of the 3rd edition paragraph six: The test of Truth.
Do not be concerned about how you can learn a lesson so completely different from every thing that you have taught yourself. How would you know? Your part is very simple. You need only recognize that everything you learned you do not want. Ask to be taught, and do not use your experience to confirm what you have learned. When your peace is threatened or disturbed in any way, say to yourself:
I do not know what anything,including this means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now. (This should be Italicized)
By this refusal to attempt to teach yourself what you do not know, the Guide Whom God has given you will speak to you. He will take His rightful place in your awareness the instant you abandon it. And I will not use my on past learning as the light to guide me now.
God bless us every One
Papa lawrence
Review Lesson 54.
It’s like Lisa Natoli says on her blog on this day 5 years ago. She felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. And stuck there. Can’t turn back. And fly off the cliff.
How is it possible that 5 years later on the same day I feel exactly like she did then ? On the same lesson. Maybe minds are really joined, and maybe we never came I to the world, we emerge out of the world, each person like a leaf on a colossal tree and the tree is the earth.
Maybe we are interconnected beyond imagining ?
With a heavy foggy mind, nighttime is nowadays getting to be really bad, I finally can empathize with Nina, last night I couldn’t fall asleep till 2 am, I had already spoken to my ex-wife, she is determined to proceed with a divorce, and we had a nice conversation about it, y’day had been a brilliant day, the kind that lifted me almost to the threshold of God.
But if y’day was like a clear beautiful sunny day with 12th floor views of the bay and happy images, today is being brought down to earth, not in a rough way, but gently, so its not such a rude shock at all really, and what does all this have to do with the price of fish ? (=
Well, Lesson 54 beckons, but I am not running towards it with a joyful heart, yes I can walk towards it with a wry smile, and let me at least remember 16 and 17
16. I have no neutral thoughts.
17. I see no neutral things.
It’s a bit of a stretch for me to try 20.( I am a determined to see)but I will repeatedly mull over 16 and 17 through the day, and the final review of all 5 before I turn through another day.
It’s the 23rd day of February. It has(had?) special meanings for me related to my grandmother and my business. Perhaps its time to retire those thoughts, and replace them with thoughts of God.
anil … offering you prayers of comfort and a place of rest and ease … this is such an open venue for such private sharings … I LOVE YOU
hedda … am so happy for your scholarship and new adventuress … awesome … I LOVE YOU
nina … am so thankful you focus on the healing blessing transformations … I LOVE YOU
annie … flowers and prayers and presence in this reflective time of gratitude and memory and the new empty spaces filled with love … I LOVE YOU
lawrence … so wonderful to read your insights and updates and sharings … thank you … I LOVE YOU
tex … you are simply brilliant and amazing and have a unique relationship with the concepts of ACIM … very amusing and refreshing!! I LOVE YOU
bernard … thank you for your love and care for this village and us villagers!! I LOVE YOU
Peggy …thanks for embracing us all and seeing us truly and naming what you see so we can see it too…I L O V E Y O U
Peggy, thanks for the warm message of comfort. Pls let me know if my public sharings of private crises is too much or inappropirate in any way. Happy to tone it down. (=
I saw a great movie on the flight to NYC called a.C.O.D. The scriptwriter was fantastic. At one point after a very awkward social gathering, one character tells another ” that was the most public display of a private crisis I have ever seen ”
I hope I am not that person in this Vllage making you (or others) feel awkward. Just tell me what that character in A.C.O.D said, or refer to it in some oblique way so I get the hint, and I will indeed, truly be happy to tone it down ! (:
My poor parents…they are suffering this one through, and they don’t have a course in miracles or anything like it to help them through ! I hope my presence here in Kansas City is some comfort to them.
Life is good. And if its not good, its not life, just a private (or public) nightmare ! (:
Love to you, and all,
anil
I hope I am not that person in this Vllage making you (or others) feel awkward.
Anil – Neither you – nor anyone at all – has the power to make anybody else miserable. That is our choice: to hear each other with Love or with ego – and recognizing which perception we chose – and also that when we may feel upset, it is never because of what anyone said or did, but because we wanted it.
NEVER have you said anything that made me feel less than loving towards you. You simply do not know the amount of light you spread.
Good night all
love you very much
Nina
am sooooo happy with the goings on in this village
am sooooo thankful it is a wonderful and safe place to share goings on
am aware that sometimes one can feel that after sharing that there should be some sort of response
am wanting to share that I am here … I feel different responses and joys and empathy and all kinds of different things that may or may not ever make it into any words
the respect and support and heart connection I feel I simply wanted to offer
so that is why I mentioned about the private sharings … in a way to note that I notice and am taking care in a kind way of all that is shared here
always mindful and thankful that it’s all going on at once … the highs and lows and happiness and worries and then after a while, it all looks different again
something like that!!!
mahalo for all the sharings and stories and everything … much much appreciated … we share our stories and they bless us all in ways beyond measure
Peggy and Nina, thanks for clarifying ! (:
I was reasonably sure that there would be no problem with the depth of the sharing, but rather than take it for granted, thought it best to ask. (=
Taking for granted seems to be one of the reasons my marriage failed, but on another level, I cannot shake the feeling that this was meant to be. That learning to see my ex-wife as a perfect manifestation of the Christ mind is one of the challenges for me going forward. And I can see she has tried these last 6+ years, and she s drained, and I can only wish her well.
As I told Michele, I am making good progress in seeing her innocence, thanks to all my Village friends and my work friends/business friends who I speak with daily. They provide a loving, non-judgemental space for me to share my thoughts and work through this time. Some advantages of having your own business and having a business partner who has been with you for 11 years ! (=
All is well, my friends, all is well.
Love,
Anil
Ps, Nina, while you were writing out your msg to me, I was reading your book. Am now in a place where I can, and I have made it through 35 pages. It is really well-written, and incredibly engaging on a heart and mind level. I can feel some big chunks of something falling away from my overloaded mind, and can sense the healing that comes from that.
One part that comes to mind is your exquisite timing of the Thomas gospel quote from Jesus, “that if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. And if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you”
I think I am going to try to find the spoken Coptic version of that Loggia ! (=
Thanks, Nina. I love you, and your book ! (=
T h i s i s t h e m o s t p e r f e c t, b r i l l i a n t, c o n f l u e n c e o f L O V E
c o n f e t t i s t r e a m s b r i g h t s w i r l i n g a n d d a n c i n g
b l o w i n g t h r o u g h t h e w i n d s o f o u r s t o r i e s …elation, compassion, pain, loss, recognition, grieving, acceptance, uplifted, buoyed, life preserver tossed and held
Really something to be doing this catch up reading of just the last few day with so much being laid bare in this safe harbor. Every one has chimed in and is holding one another with great tenderness.
Great clarity, diamond sutra offerings from everyone, each in their inimitable way
A p p r e c i a t i n g , a l l t h i s V i l l a g e
Love,
Michele
Anil – and any other “Home to Love”-reader – the start may be a bit bothersome to get through, since I am trying to ease the Course-understanding into evt.non-Acimer’s mind.
It is also effective to just pay attention to what you are feeling and where you are – feelingwise – and then open the book randomly and read. I am certain it will feel relevant and helpful
Soldiering on, are we – with the reviews – love to all my second family here at the Village! After these reviews, let us have a party!
Thank you Peggy for your loving words about us Villagers !!!! I so very much agree with you. Dear Anil, you recently told me : we don’t want you to shut up and that felt really good ! I say the same thing to you now ! And of course I hope that you already can see light in the end of the tunnel but at the same time let the process take it’s time.
P.S. I’m starting to do my packing list for my big adventure !
good night preciousnesses
good packing dear Hedda
Two days away from writing to my family here, and zi must write ! (=
Not because Peggy and Nina and now Hedda have cleared the way ! (Thank you, my dear friends !), but because my heart gets lighter every time I write, and the Unbearable Zheaviness/lightness of things gets too much for me to bear without bringing it forth out of me.
For what I bring forth from within me will save me, and what zi do not bring forth from within me will destroy me !
And I now actually understand one of Jesus’ original sayings from 2000 years ago ! wow !
Yes, Hedda. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and I sure hope that’s not the light of the incoming train ! (= ( old joke, pardon me ! (=
How exciting ! Your trip to California draws near, and I am not back in NYC. Came in last night. Wow, this city is such a trip ! Makes it easy to see how it is all a dream. Penn station buzzing with activity at midnight on a weeknight, underground, thousands of bodies going about their individual dreams, me included a,
How wierd ! How wonderful ! And how amazing that this is all a dream to distance myself from That which we can never be separate from.
God.
The ground of my being.
Review Lesson 57.
I am not a victim of the world I see, because this is an invented world.
I have invented this world I see.
There is another way of looking at this world.
And if I look for it,
I can see Peace instead of this.
My mind is part of Gods. I am very Holy.
Well, I can then say I am *very* Holy !
But I do feel Holy at this moment, 5:38am, as I start my day.
So I’ll take that for now ! (=
We are Holy !
Amen.
Anil, I hadn’t heard that “tunnel version” about the train coming in . I had to giggle 😀 !!
Hedda, your giggles make me happy ! (=
Ps. Nina and Katrina, will write back later to your detailed and loving messages. There are some misperceptjons which I seem to have created with my writing, apologies ! But will clarify soon ! (=
Right now I have to run to my NYC office down the street from my hotel. Have been on a con-call with South Africa all morning…it’s mind-boggling how effortlessly we are all connected these days, from Finland to San Luis Obispo to South Africa to Norway to New York….and all this seems so gigantic to lil ole me, and all of this including my body is in my mind !????? (=
How utterly mind-boggling and marvelous simultaneously ! (=
Love and hugs…
anil
Mind-blogging!
Love to all!
Review Lesson 59.
41. God goes with me wherever I go.
Even when I go to Frankfurt tonight en route to my home in Singapore. I will be briefly in Bernard land, wonder if the time will permit a call, its a long layover but I can’t remember what time it will be in Europe when I land. Oh well, easily distracted, where was I ? (=
God goes with me wherever I go. Because God is my strength and God would never want me to be without his strength. Because God is in my mind.
42. God is my strength, I think It got me through 4 or 5 hours of hell last night and I didn’t even realize it when I finally was able to fall asleep and enjoy some deep sleep, with what felt like pleasant dreams when I woke,
I do think something gives me the strength to carry on, even when there a only a few drops of oil left in the lamp, but the flame is still burning, the light has not gone, and before all the oil is gone, Zi miraculously wake up with more strength than the night before.
The ego would like me to believe that it is because zi got to sleep finally and nourish the body, but that doesn’t make sense because I was not sleepy last night, I was in an emotional Hell of my own making, but I couldn’t break free until suddenly my thoughts turned pleasant and I fell asleep.
I think it was Gods mercy that took over my mind and gently lulled me to sleep, and refreshed me through the night,
I am starting to understand just a little bit more about this God Ego thing plays out in my mind. It’s very subtle, but I think God will win. I certainly hope so (= because I don’t feel safe with the ego as my friend.
So all a long winded way of thinking through number 42. God is my Strength and Vision is His gift !
43. God is my Source, I cannot see apart from Him and
44. God is the Light in which I see, and
45. God is the mind with which I think.
These three go very well together for me, these review lessons are really something that I welcome now. It gives me the opportunity to concatenation two or three of the Lessons into one consolidated thought, making to easier for me to remember through the day.
Like Anir’s birthday on Sept 28th made it easier for me to remember my Mums birthday on the same day. The concatenation of two individuals that I really enjoyed made me appreciate both and the the day even more.
Before that I would always call my sister around Sept 20th, I was in my twenties then, two decades ago, and every year I would ask the same question….is Mums birthday Sept 23rd or sept 28th ? Every year ! (=
Joining birthdays and joining lesson thoughts together helps me remember.
God is the Mind with which I think.
God is the Light in which I see, and God is the Source of my Being.
Amen.
Ps. And now I can remember that Katrina’s Mum is also on the 28th of September. Thank you, Katrina, for the lovely message on how to think of my son, it brings tears to me to see the image of him running towards me, arms outstretched. I get to see him Sunday afternoon. I land in Singapore at 445 in the afternoon. I think I will go straight and see him first. I am quite sure his mother will let me come to the apartment directly from the airport.
She seems unsure on the way forward for us, but says that she has no second thoughts. Nina, we are still married, but seemingly heading for divorce. I never realized that I hated the word so much. Both she and me tend to be black and white people, by which I mean, either we will decide to salvage the marriage in this almost dead stage, or we will sign the papers and make it official. They are truly confusing times, and I may not write about it anymore for some time to come until the outcome is clear.
At least that’s what it seems like for now (=
But who knows, tomorrow I may come crying onto these pages again.
Thank God there is reasonable hope that I’m just dreaming a difficult dream ! (=
review and review – then party!
wish i could party right now. ! (=
in a foul mood. i need a friend to party with in nyc. and it’s so damn cold here ! (:
thank you for clearing that up, Anil. Your ex-wife is still your wife, and you hate to write about it.Food for forgiveness isn’t it – all those scared thoughts want to come home to Love.
I love reading about your thoughts suddenly changing into God-thoughts. I want that to happen to me too: I still seem to have to use a lot of strength to turn around the ego-vortex going into desperation in the night.
Lots of love to my dear family
Nina
Very welcome, dear Nina. Sometimes I think my story will turn out like Katrinas, and sometimes not. All very confusing. (=
I was in the same time zone as Bernard (and you ? is Norway also on same time as Central European Time ?) all day. My flight arrived in Frankfurt at 11 am, and now around 8:30 pm I head to my gate to fly 12 hours to Singapore. Not looking forward to it much ! but overall OK.
I almost called him and also at another time, Michele. but lately I have been having this sudden thought that pops into my mind that I should call God before I call anyone ! (:
So it seems to turn out that the guidance is not to disturb either of them today ! (:
I am tired but overall happy. The Lufthansa lounge is a comfortable place, and I discovered they have a small sleeping room as well with semi-partitioned walls. I must use that next time, the discovery came too late to make use of this time.
Review Lesson 60 was on my mind today more than a few times. It has a couple of gems.
for me.
L 48. There is nothing to fear
and
L 49. Gods Voice speaks to me all through the day. I did get the distinct feeling that I heard it a few times, perhaps not quite *all* through the day ! (:
and 50, is nice too, even if I cant believe it completely just yet..
L 50. I am sustained by the Love of God.
I am walking on steadily toward truth, there is no where else to go. funny how some sentences jump out to me only on multiple readings, I never even registered that sentence the first few times I read it today.
I am more inspired than ever to do these Lessons every year, and emulate Peggys amazing example. but I guess that can wait till Jan 1, 2015.
Right now, I must walk toward gate Z66, its enroute on the path towards Truth (;
Love you, Nina, and good night all.
Anil
Happy journey in every way,Anil –
I am in the same time-zone as bernard
much love
Nina
Anil, I just found your note about being in the same time zone. Anytime, my brother, just pick up that phone. Loved Nina’s line: happy journey in every way…
It’s 8 :08pm my time and I’m thinking that in about 5 – 6 hours from now when most of us USA west coasters are sleeping the light will be shining in Lucas’ eyes and heart as he wraps himself in his Daddy’s love and presence and the same for you Anil…and I just have this sense of Shoba being aware and gentle with a mother’s heart witnessing the balance and peace you bring in your return to the family you will always be and share.
Katrina….I feel you really captured the truth of children’s deepest longings and responses to feeling the parent who truly anchored in and continually keeping the connection no matter the traveling or distance.
And about your Son and Emery… So that’s where you where on that Sunday the 23rd….
Love to Everyone …oh and a high five to Richard in Scotland !
Dear Nina, Bernard and Michele,
Thank you for the Holy Trinity of loving messages (: I am happy I checked at the Singapore airport before taking the taxi the short distance to my home.
I was very nervous, and your loving messages, gave me much-needed courage, aside from the gift of tears which softens my heart from time-to-time.
My son did indeed come running to me and into my embrace. I asked his mother whether he had coached him or in any way suggested that to him – I was trying to assess Lucas’ own internal state – he seemed happy to see me, but I was not sure if he came of his own accord (although most often he is a wilfull child and will not hug or kiss anyone if he doesn’t feel like it).
It was a good homecoming to my boy. His mother however seems to be determined to the path of separation. The discussions with her and her father and step-mother sitting there were very interesting to say the least ! (:
I can’t shake the feeling that there is more here than meets the eyes. We have tentatively agreed to go forward to counselling again starting tomorrow. I am going to pay much more attention this time (I did pay very close attention last time too, but some comments she made today made it clear that her impression of the counselling and mine were markedly different).
I can’t also shake the feeling that somehow I chose this path for myself even before I was born, by being into the temparament and personality that I inhabit in this life, and the girl I feel head-over-heels in love with and continue to love to this day, even as she glares at me.
It’s all very strange, like a pre-planned script that she and I have both forgotten, acting out on auto-pilot.
I need to tread even more cautiously than I have in the past, and invoke the memory of our good friend more often even in the midst of those conversations.
Aaahm, so much work (:
Love from singapore,
Anil
Lesson 61. I am the light of the world.
That is my only function here. That is why I am here.
I am asked to think these thoughts as often as possible through the day, eyes closed, to understand the deeper meaning as much as possible.
I do feel my heart softening from all the pain of the last month. I don’t think I will ever forget Feb 5th, and the nightmare that woke me up. But it has been good to mull through and I hope I can continue making the improvements to my thinking that are needed as I continue on my path forward towards Truth and Heaven.
May I never hurt another individual ever again, conciously or unconciously.
Amen.
Father, Stepmother and Wife included in the discussion…Holy Kamole interesting indeed!! At first I was thinking that is so East Indian culture, but then again the presence of in-laws who are very close and supportive to their daughter or son permeates whether they’re in the room or not. So glad you felt fortified Anil, and happy you left the detail of the length of your flight time, which inspired me to write at that time. I left out I’m my message above…Co Parenting. it’s what you do now and what you will always be doing no matter the outcome.
You’ve heard me speak of Jay and his divorce whammy..his son was just four on his “Feb 5th” day. Today his 8 year old has a bigger circle of love nourishing his heart and mind; a best friend in Jay’s girlfriend’s daughter who is the same age as he, plus loving her younger sister who shared the experience with her a few years older sister of the separation of their parents, and a third set of “grandparents” who adore him and love seeing the family they’ve created, especially after the tumultuous and challenging time their daughter went through. Jay’s girlfriend has her own place with her girls. There is a spaciousness to this arrangement that works for everyone.
I know how well you pay close attention my brother and you are indeed the light of the world.
I take your words deeply to heart to emulate for myself ” May I never hurt another individual again, consciously or unconsciously. ”
I’m sending another post to your email around more thoughts I had.
Lesson 60. I am the Light of the world. That is my only function here.
I am in a back room being the light. I am tempted to go be Amery’s mama and let my son go watch some tv or go workout. But, he is doing fine as her mama and dada, so I will just be quietly in the background doing my main assignment. Funny how the ego wants to embellish the function I am given, just happening to overwhelm and nullify it.
Anil, you chose your relationship with Shoba, although romantic love feels like guidance. God chose your relationship with Lucas – remember that rush of Light when you first met him? In this lifetime, you are the adult and you can never drop the constancy of that Love, whether he grows up in Singapore, or Brazil, or Timbuktu. Ask Bernard, his life had this lesson, I think I recall.
While my hubbie and I did not complete a divorce, it took 6 months apart to realize that was not the path we wanted. And we needed to make some changes to help one another, then he came back home. And we are far from perfect after 40 years of marriage. We just know each of us is an individual who lives a life of our own interests and share some parts of it. He took over driving the car I had been using, and in it was Ken’s CD, God Thinks Otherwise. So his temp job commute of an hour has found him listening to it. He’s always considered the Course as MY thing, weirdo that he allows me to be. Now he’s talking all about it and saying how much it all makes sense. All I say is that it is a self study course between him and the Holy Spirit and as anything seems to click, that is the Holy Spirit connecting with his right mind. He talks about something that he wanted and didn’t pan out his way, and then says, but God thought otherwise. To me, it is a miracle. He is releasing so many grievances.
So, Light On!