Village Square III
In our AcimVillage, we have the plane tree that stands in the central village square. Its enormous branches spread out to cover an area wide enough to provide shade on a warm day for many a traveller or tradesman. Water bubbles and trickles from a stone fountain on the eastern side. It is under the plane tree and by the fountain that wandering sages have traditionally lead conversation with the local people, before setting off again on their way; it is here that the townspeople come to exchange views and thoughts on their beloved spiritual philosophy, learning from each other in kindness and wisdom.
Rules to ponder…
Study of A Course In Miracles benefits greatly from sharing our experiences in its practice. Here you can talk about what works, or doesn’t, for you, taking obvious care not to be ‘preachy’, please. We all learn best when someone talks from their own experience, rather than tries to tell us what we should be doing differently. Let’s take the position that none of us are teachers, we are all at the same point returning on the path Homeward. All of us will still be making mistakes for a while yet, so let’s be particularly humble and caring in how we deal with each other. Please keep in mind that this is a site dedicated to the approach Kenneth Wapnick takes to teaching ACIM. I shall certainly do my best to bring everyone back to the core principles as taught by him.
I would also like to point out that AcimVillage is the place to come to explore our judgments, but not to express them as judgments. If you feel you need to gripe, criticize and vent, even subtly, then contact me privately (at bernard@pauloandthemagician.com) where I will receive you with kindness and understanding. Please do not do so in the forums where I will inevitably moderate out this kind of post. Remember, you will feel better only when you are able to move past the investment in your judgments, not simply by unloading them for everyone to see. This means taking responsibility for your perceptions and acknowledging that ultimately no one has prevented you from feeling completely peaceful and safe, despite what might appear to be the unfortunate conditions of your life at this time. (I know, this is hard. Contact me if you’re struggling.)
So, two basic rules here. One, we avoid mention of other approaches to the study of ACIM (non-Wapnickian) as well as to other philosophies we might be studying. This is purely to achieve a stable, comfortable learning forum where we are all aiming at the same goal, using the same symbols and language to get there. This is not to cast any judgment on any other approaches or philosophies. ACIM is a sufficiently difficult path to undertake without bringing more confusion into our study than our minds already contain! If you have benefited from other paths and would like to share your thoughts, by all means do so. Just please do this in the privacy of your personal emails. It’s also my personal opinion (take it or leave it) that at some point a student of ACIM is much better off sticking with one set of symbols and one teacher, and working with these thoroughly, instead of getting too dispersed. Rule two, we try not to play ‘teacher’ with each other here, reminding ourselves to be humble and always equal with our brother.
Enjoy the discussion!
I am most grateful Katrina for your disciplined attention in keeping us on track. I fell behind these past two weeks with reading the daily lessons-let alone doing the daily lessons! Looking forward to the review so I can catch up. Also we spent one evening at a friends house a few weekends ago and I left my JTTWB at the bedside. And that exposed my hidden agenda of resistance. They don’t live so close-but they also don’t live that far that if I picked up the phone we could have arranged for me to get the workbook back.
My other distraction (I should probably be writing this down at the Fireside) is we are gearing up to change the computer program we use at our Providence Hospital. Headquarters is up in Washington State. The organization has been acquiring many hospitals these past few years and the push has been to get everyone on the same computer system so that the information from Washington/Oregon/California is accessible throughout. The program is called EPIC. I believe the Kaiser system embraced the program first. I heard that 60% of hospital systems use EPIC now. We changed computer systems three years ago in preparation for this system (which didn’t seem to make sense until someone mentioned that in order to receive Federal funding for the upcoming Epic system we had to learn CAMIS) Anyhow, all I can say is that it has been a most frustrating process.
I have been working extra so that coworkers can take the computer classes required for proficiency. I myself have gone in last Saturday and I’m scheduled for this Saturday as well for my own practice time. I was humbled last week when they gave us a test and it took forever to enter basic information. I know its like driving a car and at first it takes all of ones’ concentration just to see whats on the road ahead. No time for chatting with the passengers. But soon enough I know the screens won’t look so busy and I can cruise thru my interviews and log in the required information while taking in the the surrounding scenery. I’m trying not to feed into the fear of change which in this case is EPIC (:
And so I find it ironic that I make my living curing bodies (more accurately I partake in the business of seemingly curing bodies). We just “substitute illusion for illusion”. I wish to embrace my 24/7 job of of being still and listening only for the Voice of healing.
Lesson 140
“Only salvation can be said to cure.
Speak to us, Father, that we may be healed.”
so happy to be in this ACIM village
it’s a friendly place full of wonderful people
all sincerely living our lives and sharing bits of it
sharing our goings on
things always evolving and changing
am thankful for the sharings and updates
am thankful to be in my little hawaiian village too
it’s also a friendly place full of wonderful people
have some miracles to share
evidently my mom is violently allergic to neosporin
so that’s an easy one … stop using it and she’ll be fine
although the itching and swelling she endured was torture
happier miracle to share … 2 of my boys are coming next week
have only seen them for a few days in 2012 …
it’s a funny happy divine miracle how this happened for them to visit
only divine grace could have come up with this
the one didn’t know the other one was coming
it all happened on the same day
I was very confused as to who how and when
next thing I know, the divine plan is revealed
I get to meet my new granddaughter Jayden Moon Wray
I get to be with 2 of my 3 boys for several days
am deeply truly thoroughly hugely grateful
on thursday, a whole pod of dolphins swam practically up to the shore
and everyone on the beach got to swim in the ocean with them
it was a magical day for everyone
the ocean is smooth as glass
reflecting the beauty all around
every day mom and I listen to and meditate with the lessons
with my whole heart I am grateful for the blessings of this precious time in my life
it’s been a deep learning experience to care for mom
it’s funny, since I’m always with her, we actually dress in ways and colors that go well together
as ken often quotes, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
we are being kind
we are helping each other with sharing our experiences and appreciating the sharings that are shared here
I truly love and appreciate each of our journeys and adventures along the way
thank you thank you thank you for all who visibly and invisibly participate in our ACIM village
it’s a wonderful beautiful place and I love it here!!
Hello Village friends,
With a desire to learn from Ken Wapnick (as many times before over the past 13 years I have learned so much from Ken) I wandered back over here to the Village in January of this year (2014). I got Ken’s JTTW then but didn’t end up doing the lessons with you guys. In the past month or so I have started doing the lessons and I’m on lesson 42-God is my strength. Vision is His gift.
I wanted you all to know of my delight in reading in the Village Square all of the comments while you have been going through the lessons together. I am reading through these comments with such gratitude.
To learn peace, teach peace to learn it.
Thank you all and love you! Kendall
Hello Kendall! So good to hear from you. I was just thinking of you and your daughter the other day. How are you two doing?
With Ken’s Journey books, there is really so little more light to shed on the lessons. Ken makes the soooo educated effort to write down everything about every line, and every passage in the text that expands the meaning that i consider his books the ultimate helping hand in doing the lessons.
But we can do them together. You remind me that just being together, no matter what lesson one is on, is what joining is about. As the preface says, if you fully understand one lesson you understand them all.
Review IV.
Starting with
My Mind holds only what I think with God.
What an _______ way to start and end the day.
Dear God.
I want to spend five minutes with you when my eyes awake.
And my last five minutes before I close them again at night.
I really, really want it.
Please help me fulfill this wish.
Love,
Me.
I suppose the mind can really only hold what i think with God.
All the other thoughts would be like plaque, stuck onto the outxside (new word, i like it).
121. Forgiveness IS the KEY to happiness.
Ken picks up some interesting clues to this thought working in my mind. “For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that you werE dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they could have no effect on you unless you failed to recognize it is your dream (T-27.VIII.10).
This world is full of miracles. They stand in shining silence next to every dream of pain and suffering, of sin and guilt. They are the dream’s alternative, the choice to be the dreamer, rather than deny the active role in making up the dream. (T-28.II.6:5).
122. Forgiveness offers everything I want.
I do want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset. And some jujubes too, first, please. — oh, that might be part of NO to the ego.
The overwhelming compulsion to carry out this “aimless wandering” – from love to guilt to the body – is born of the thought that if we allow light into our minds and experience its love, we can no longer justify the thought that there is anything important here.
Forgiveness thus becomes the means by which he learns he has done nothing to forgive. …
And thus is he returned to his real function of creating, which his forgiveness offers him again (T-26.IV.1).
****¥¥¥££€€€. Sink into happiness €€€££¥¥¥*****
Lesson 142
My mind holds only what I think with God.
(123) I thank my Father for His gifts to me.
(124) Let me remember I am one with God.
My mind holds only what I think with God.
Oh Me-you are adorable!
“Your wish is My command”…
I’m just thinking how God would reply…
To be more accurate- I shouldn’t use the word command-God doesn’t need to command.
“It is done unto you as you believe”
Lesson (123) I thank my Father for His gifts to me.
(124) Let me remember I am one with God.
“God offers thanks to you who practice thus the keeping of His Word. And as you give your mind to the ideas for the day again before you sleep, His gratitude surrounds you in the peace wherein He wills you be forever, and are learning no to claim again as your inheritance.’
Outxside-stuck like plaque-it’s those damn jujubes!
Also thanks Katrina for the Text quotes (still don’t have my JTTWB)
It’s good to read the Text along with doing the workbook lessons.
When I forgive the world my guilt, I will be free of it.
Salvation is a secret I have kept from myself.
How differently I will see the world when this is recognized!
Now need I learn that both (myself & my brother/sister) are innocent.
One thing that is impossible is that we be unlike each other.
It is the only secret left to learn. And it will be no secret that I am healed.
See my hands in the picture? Today my rt arm was able to be lifted into that position! Wheee! My arm cage was removed after 3 wks.and the kind, gentle physical therapist slowly moved my arm 131 degrees away from my side. I thank God for air in my arm pit. When you are in a body you need all the air you can get, i say.
Sweet gems Ken offers to savor —
From 123 notes
(1:4) A bit of wavering remains, some small objections and a little hesitance, but you can well be grateful for your gains, which are far greater than you realize.
In the opening paragraph of “The Happy Dream,” Jesus says in effect we have no idea what is going on with us:
…for you cannot distinguish between advance and retreat. Some of your greatest advances you have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats you have evaluated as success (T-18.V.1:5-6).
These gains come from my seriousness about returning home and my study and practice of the Course. I am already on Lesson 142 (123), so I have spent at least one hundred and (twenty-)forty-two days on this. After all, I could have stopped after day one, or did not have to start at all. The fact that I am practicing – however half-heartedly my efforts may sometimes be, however filled with specialness – means there is a part of me that wants to learn these lessons and stay with them. That is what we need look at in ourselves, rather than judge our failures and resistance. Thus we will feel grateful for our teacher, his lessons, and ourselves for having chosen to learn from them.
Ken was such a kind heart who saw who we truly are.
Our gratitude to God is because He does not know of our separated state, and so does not try to save us. … He does not join us in our game of sin, guilt, and fear, which means there is no sin and, therefore, no separated self that needs to be punished..
From 124 notes
Whenever you feel fear in any form, – and you are fearful if you do not feel a deep content, a certainty of help, a calm assurance Heaven goes with you, – be sure you made an idol, and believe it will betray you. For beneath your hope that it will save you lie the guilt and pain of self-betrayal and uncertainty, so deep and bitter that the dream cannot conceal completely all your sense of doom. Your self- betrayal must result in fear, for fear is judgment, leading surely to the frantic search for idols and for death (T-29.IX.9).
Do not be upset, Jesus says, if you do not succeed at today’s exercise. In time you will. If you grapple with thoughts of when it will happen, or thinking it never will happen, you but return to the mistake of giving the ego power it does not have. Remember, you do the workbook properly to the extent you do it “miserably,” but without judgment. Do not pressure yourself into being perfect, for that merely reinforces the fearful belief you are imperfect.
Ahh, Ken, you are always there with your reliable hug.
Annie, i do recall the longing for my misplaced volume! Tex pointed me to JTTWB online at
3 w’s dot askandletgod dot com/docs/ACIM/C124 dot pdf. You just change the lesson number after getting there. When this review is over, we’re on to the next volume, anyway. I do like the written form best, you know, for underlining and noting. On reviews i can go back and find my favorite lines.
YaY for 131 degrees of separation!!!
And Yay for the healing power of Ken’s reliable hug-reminding us to do today’s exercise (mental and shoulder) “miserably” but without judgement. (:
And Thank You for the gentle reminder of the online version of the JTTWB.
Lesson 143: My Mind holds only what I think with God
(125) In quiet I receive God’s Word today.
(126) All that I give is given to myself.
Hi guys,
in post above Katrina writes from JTTW:
if we allow light into our minds and experience its love, we can no longer justify the thought that there is anything important here.
I remember Jamie in his classes from the oratory talking about how we have to become hopeless with this world…then we become the happy learner. It is frightening to me sometimes that I do realize there is nothing I want in this world, nothing important here but I know now that this is the only way and there is then peace. Thankfully I know you guys are all going through these things too…this healing. Beyond this world…there IS a world I want!
Love, Kendall
Lesson 143: My Mind holds only what I think with God.
(127) There is no love but God’s,
And yours and mine and everyone’s.
(128) The world I see holds nothing that I want.
Kendall, you musta seen this one coming, or you are prescient! The subtle and cunning ego trick is that we love people here in our dream, so we think they are in this world. Then we can’t really mean this world holds nothing that we want. I think the truth is that the dream figure is just a symbol of the great love we have even for the sweet loving personality (I’m spinning now), which is really in the world beyond this one, because they are symbols of love.
When students would ask Ken about special relationships with our loved ones, or with the Course, he would always say, don’t question the joy and love in your life. Just accept it and be grateful. Just go to the love within. I think those things, even sunsets and mountains and art and animals and seeing beauty are not actually of this world. Just cunning ego temptations to make us question our joy.
When your child or any loved one hugs you and shows you they love you, and you just melt with love, that IS God loving you and letting you feel what you truly are – pure Love.
Yes Katrina…thank you for what you wrote…I agree, the love I allow in is not actually of this world! I am grateful that I am not so afraid of real love/truth these days…
I have just kept telling myself what Ken/Jesus suggested…I will look and wait and not judge and I won’t always be this afraid… I trusted them and now I am not so afraid…letting love in is our great joy.
Lesson 145
My mind holds only what I think with God.
(129) Beyond this world there is a world I want.
(130) It is impossible to see two worlds.
Lesson 146
My mind holds only what I think with God
(131) No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth.
(132) I loose the world from all I thought it was.
So, i can loose the world (i do love this phrase rather than just ‘release’ or ‘let go’.
Loose the world, let ‘er drool off the edge of my hungry dog’s tongue.
Let them curl up in the backyard for a warm day snooze.
I’ve made so many idols to make the world set goals and standards to
And they all have abandoned me, at least taken back the happiness they gave
or been so intermittent that they nauseate me, like sea sickness.
Just for a sec’, let me rest, too, and listen for a few minutes (that’s all) to
God’s thoughts about living in a world i want.
Queue the Forgiveness offers poem. Peace, happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world. Care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset.
Well, yep, that will do. If it feels like that
why would I need to care how it gets delivered.
Or I can picture it one way and let it appear any way.
You know, God’s thoughts in fact are commonly the words of those on this site
who often bring that sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world.
And the never hurting gentleness and comfort.
So, nice thoughts, Big J ( big brother letting you play with him.)/ Holy Spirit / God.
You can put any favorite conception in — Buddha, Kwan Yin, St. Francis, Blessed Virgin (one of Helen’s), the Lord, Father, Goddess, Gaia, Yeshua, St. Germaine, whomever holds your head.
A thousand faces for One. (Ken said that, not me, I should credit.)
Lesson 147
My mind holds only what I think with God
(133) I will not value what is valueless.
(134) Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.
Post 368 most certainly was heard by a mind open to receive – by a heart ready to extend.
Let me not move or speak till I too know what I think with God.
Here are some interesting quotes from Ken’s L.133
“My needs demonstrate there is indeed a separate I”.
—valueless. And in that frame of mind, i have no idea what I think with God. (me)
“The Holy Spirit needs a happy learner, in whom His mission can be happily accomplished. You who are steadfastly devoted to misery must first recognize that you are miserable and not happy. The Holy Spirit cannot teach without this contrast, for you believe that misery is happiness.” (T14.II.1:1-5)
…release the ego’s need to be right and you will automatically know the most loving thing to do.
When decisions are problematic, you know you have chosen the wrong teacher. Drop the ego’s hand and take His instead. What alone is valuable in this world is learning to choose Jesus as your teacher and guide.
From L.134 comments —
“…to be truly mindful of your tolerance for the mind wandering (T-2,VI,4:6) that has taken you from your home in the Mind of God…”
My mind holds only what I think with God — when I am not mind wandering!
My heartfelt thanks to those who are helping us stay on track with the workbook. I really enjoy reading your thoughts, summaries and comments.
I think it is worth saying here that, as we work through the workbook, we must start to become aware that Jesus is not addressing our individual personality and familiar self in these lessons. It is not that self whose mind is filled only with the thoughts of God. Jesus is trying to help us recognize that we do have a mind that is only filled with the thoughts of God, and that is the goal that should replace the one we currently have, which is to stay within the mind filled with the thoughts of the ego. In either case, Jesus is appealing to ‘us’ which is not in the body and its brain, but in the mind outside the body, in that timeless, spaceless place. There is a part of us which is not attached to this body and its little psychological life. We can’t access it directly yet, but we can start to consider that possibility, and let the questions flow from that one leading question: If I’m not really in this body, then that means all my thoughts and experiences about this body are not really what I think… If I’m not really in this body, then what he/she just said is not really affecting me the way I think… If I’m not really in this body, then that means that this person in pain over there is not really in his body as such either… If none of us are really in these bodies in the way we think, then that means there’s no one really ‘here’ as such… In that case, perhaps the dangerous and frightening conditions of this world are not really affecting any of us in the way we think… In that way, perhaps there might be that special peacefulness above and beyond this world that all the great spiritual texts talk about… In that way, perhaps we can all start to feel a greater level of peacefulness even as things continue to look dangerous and chaotic around us…
Dear Bernard, I think, no have experienced, that we all here have direct access to that timeless spaceless place – how could we not- it is who we are. Its Power creates through us all we experience, shows us all we see outside of us, so we can go in again and forgive our choice to be separate. Lately, tex accessed it for sure in herr joyous aha-timeless moment, Anil’s Heart shines through his poetry, adn I remember Annnies too – reading her coffee-earlingmorningpoems some years ago – oh – pure radiant pPeace and presence – Peggy writes from that timelessness all the time – and you, dear B, through a kind and heartfelt space you write from – a warmth, a gentleness so sweet to witness. Just seeing Lawrence name her is enough for me, Katrina,Michele, all the rest I have not talked about – there is not one of you who has not communicated with us from that Space. Of course we have direct assess, and of course we still choose the ego out of choice and also stubborn habit.
May be you mean something else with “direct access.”
About your post to me at the Fireside – am i to understand you that it is OK to share jeshua’s exercizes and how they affect me and help me, like i did in a former post , but not share the name of the teacher who teaches us these way of wording forgiveness?
love to all –
Nina
Thank you Bernard for post 371 above…I especially loved the following:
“If none of us are really in these bodies in the way we think, then that means there’s no one really ‘here’ as such… In that case, perhaps the dangerous and frightening conditions of this world are not really affecting any of us in the way we think… In that way, perhaps there might be that special peacefulness above and beyond this world that all the great spiritual texts talk about… In that way, perhaps we can all start to feel a greater level of peacefulness even as things continue to look dangerous and chaotic around us…” WOW!
Lesson 148
My mind holds only what I think with God
(135) If I defend myself I am attacked.
(136) Sickness is a defense against the truth.
Today I spoke up to someone about feeling they weren’t being very helpful. They gave me an earful of the details of their scheduling, and I totally realized how completely wrong I was. At the time, I didn’t even realize I was doing my lesson ! I just listened and apologized and told them I was wrong and wished I could go back and just not say that. I just had nothing in my mind in defense of my earlier thoughts. It felt fun.
Now, this sickness one. — can’t do much beyond just looking at it. My no-worka shoulder is a defense against a shoulder that is doing God’s work? Or i give my no-worka to the HS for whateva’ He can do with it.
I love Bernard’s reminders that there are two parts of my mind. One that i keep trying to tell to watch the blue ball, and the other that never lets it out of my sight.
That part — thinks only what i think with God.
Oh – bad typing. It didn’t feel fun. It felt funny, sort of perplexed, and no words or thoughts coming into my head. No defense seems to be no thoughts. It was like my right mind was actually sitting on my wrong brain.
Lesson 149
My mind holds only what I think with God.
(137) When I am healed I am not healed alone.
(138) Heaven is the decision I must make.
Lesson 150
My mind holds only what I think with God.
(139) I will accept Atonement for myself.
(140) Only salvation can be said to cure.
From Wikipedia:
The original derivation of Aotearoa is not known for certain. The word can be broken up as: ao = cloud, dawn, daytime or world, tea = white, clear or bright and roa = long. It can also be broken up as Aotea = the name of one of the migratory waka that travelled to New Zealand, or the Large Magellanic Cloud, and roa = long.
The common translation is “the land of the long white cloud”.
Clouds are the theme for todays lesson (:
maybe we are all in the “iCloud” aka The One Mind (;
“My mind holds only what I think with God”
“woolly angoraishly soft clouds” -I bet Anil has flown thru a bunch of those!!!
Always love your choice of adjectives Ms. Nina.
You know who else is good with cloud watching Ms. Tex!
I thoroughly enjoyed my day off that I felt moved to write an evening post.
Good Night or Good Morning where ever you may be.
whoopsie meant for that post to be at the fireside
Thank you, Annie. Your post was a perfect thought to go with today’s lesson. I am glad you took a day off. Computer training is best topped off with a rest. It allows the synapses to regrow, i think. A cure for fried dendrites.
Dream:
I am with a group of 2 women, it is night, we are stumbling into a group of “derelicts.” I lose sight of the other 2, and manage my way through this group. They are bone tired, most of them drugged. – I remember that I saw a short interview yesterday with a definitely drugged person, and because of NOT reminding myself that I was seeing a dream, (in Course-meaning,) I got this night-dream. And that was for good:) By noticing how I was maneuvering through the night/dream – with kindness and very little fear – I now realize how much of this “dangerous men on outlook for rape victims” – theme is now being healed.
One of the young men told me he wanted to kiss me, but Dream-Nina said ” I just want to do this” and stroked his cheek ever so gently.
Oh – his face melted 🙂
No clouds LOL
Then I was on the train back home – Home – and did not find my paper-ticket. The Conductor told me they had to have it – and I told them to look it up on their computer – there they would find that they had sold it to me.
Oh that was some ticket, boys and girls: In technicolor, standing diagonally and large on the screen, slowly and majestically revolving around itself in all its majesty.
They bowed and smiled
Ha – I was just noticing this quote on Lisa Natoli’s group on Facebook:
Awareness of dreaming is the real function of God’s teachers. They watch the dream figures come and go, shift and change, suffer and die. Yet they are not deceived by what they see. They recognize that to behold a dream figure as sick and separate is no more real than to regard it as healthy and beautiful.
This is shiningly established in my mind today:
I will remind myself that whatever I see, is a dream
Oh this is so powerful to notice: BECAUSE i unconsciously judged that drugged person (drugs are bad, he should not use drugs, he looks bad ETC at nauseatum) I told myself that he was REAL and not only a figure in the ego’s dream.
The consequence of this insight is luminous: the seriousness and sense of disaster disappears.
Lesson 151
All things are echoes of the Voice for God.
As we start the next set of lessons (yay!! that review was brutal…but only because I thought it should be) I am back with my JTTWB to guide me thru the lessons again. I guess I needed to see that I really wanted to understand the lessons and my respect for my companion now is solidified.
Here’s a wonderful quote Ken pulls from the text:
“Dream softly of your sinless brother, who unites with you in holy innocence. And from this dream the Lord of Heaven will Himself awaken His beloved Son. Dream of your brother’s kindnesses instead of dwelling in your dreams on his mistakes. Select his thoughtfulness to dream about instead of counting up the hurts he gave. Forgive him his illusions, and give thanks to him for all the helpfulness he gave. And do not brush aside his many gifts because he is not perfect in your dreams (T-27.VII.15:1-6)
NIna-the line I quoted from your dream captures the above quote so perfectly for me.
“One of the young men told me he wanted to kiss me, but Dream-Nina said ” I just want to do this” and stroked his cheek ever so gently.”
“his face melted”…I interpret that line as the veil thinning or the clouds lifting …so you did dream of clouds after all (:
The body, like you mentioned wether it be healthy or sick is the illusion.
And its all a dream wether it be night or day.
That only makes sense when we choose to be above the battleground.
JTTWB:
“We are not asked to deny what our body’s eyes see, but are asked to step out of the dream and look with Jesus on its contents. Above the battleground with him beside us, everything looks different, and we now see the world as nothing but a dream. What we thought gave us salvation or brought us pain, we now understand was part of the same illusion. Thus is
the door held open for the face of Christ to shine upon the one who asks, in innocence, to see the beyond the veil of old ideas and ancient concepts held so long and dear against the vision of the Christ in you (T-31.VII.13:7).
Anne, Lovely interpretation:) i find another nice possible interpretation – or better , layer – too: the first ego-impulse is sex-gratification – which so very often mask a desire to be touched gently by a parent. Ohh have I had my fill of patients who were addicted to sex – and it always masked this need that never had been fulfilled: the safe, undemanding embrace.
The clouds outside my window now looks Simpsonesque 🙂
I love these lines in the lesson.
(13:4) Let Him evaluate each thought that comes to mind, remove the elements of dreams, and give them back again as clean ideas that do not contradict the Will of God.
Nina, i got an opportunity at 4am to give what you said everyone really wants. Amery, my 15 mo old grandaughter woke at 4, and my son had to get up at 5 for an early shift. So I told him to go back to bed and I would take care of her. I scooped her up and cuddled her in my bed and we fell back asleep together.
(i know, just this one time . . . Her wimpers and snuffles were echoes of yhe voice for God.)
Oh you lucky lucky person you
and she too!
Where to begin…first off Big Loving hello to Al….so nice to have you visit and update us on your life, your son, and your wisdom with viewing the dream figures and working on our only task.
iCloud the One Mind is a fun way to view what we are working at Annie.
I got caught up in the review and do love what you loved in yesterday’s lesson Katrina.
Nina, thank you for the ways you witness us and yourself.
I so resonated with the truth of the prayer Hedda gave us…because I want that attention, love and affection and I recognize the ways I sabotage them for myself, as well as truly offer them.
I see my specialness thoughts and the ways I feel guilt…which is always a sabotage act on my part.
W sent an email post to her inner circle on May 20 look how beautifully she expressed what she became clear on:
My loving dear friends:
To all of you who are very close to me I am writing this email to let you know my status, prior to my posting anything on the Caring Bridge. This email may come as a surprise, possibly even a shock, since my last posting was so upbeat and hopeful. I want you to know I have searched my heart, spirit and soul and listened to my deepest intuition to determine my choice. And most importantly it is my choice.
I have made a decision to stop the alternative treatments that I have been undergoing for the past 4 weeks, and to go with Hospice care only. This means that I will be allowing the body to take its course in the dying process. The reason for my decision is that I do not hold that I will get fully well, that the cancer will go into remission and I will be “all better.” I think the best that could be achieved would be maintaining how I am right now. How I am right now, even with the alternative treatments, etc. is still very uncomfortable and distressing.
As of today, my body is not accepting food like it was. I have regressed back to not being able to eat much without getting nauseated and subsequently not keeping it in. My hope is that I can alleviate the nausea and any pain associated with the cancer through the Hospice care, and that they can keep me pain free and comfortable till the end. The “end” may be soon or not. Its always hard to say. There’s no telling how long the body/spirit wants to linger. I, being the personality part of this, don’t feel a desire to linger long. Long enough to see the CD packaged and in hand, and long enough to possibly write one more song 😉 . I had hoped to do a show but I don’t think I have it in me anymore, unless there’s some wonderful upload of energy that occurs.
I feel complete. I feel satisfied. I feel content. Over the past few weeks I have felt a strong pull, a longing, to go. It’s as if an adventure awaits me and I am being called to go on a journey that is so compelling I must answer it. I actually feel a level of excitement.
My gift of music is such a joy to leave behind. I am so proud and happy with the result, that just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
What I don’t look forward to is the process of dying. It’s so unknown. No one really knows how the body will shut down as it’s all so relative to the individual. So, I can’t be certain how that will be for me. I can only hope that it will be pain free and easy.
I love you all so dearly. I have made new friends, reconnected with friends I haven’t seen in 40 years, and deepened longtime relationships. I have come to know love in ways I never knew possible. I feel so full and rich and blessed with the love that has been given to me, there really are no words. My life has been a life I wouldn’t trade for anything! Thank you all for being part of it.
There is the possibility of a visit but it will depend upon how I am feeling. I would love a card or note (snail mail or email) to hear from you.
Always with the greatest love and gratitude for your friendship.
W
Back to Michele typing here…..for the only reason there can be…needing to sabotage myself, so I could feel guilty, about not taking this second and last opportunity to respond to her request ( I did a few weeks ago and got to see her and then sent her two different cards that I knew she would love, as well as a good lengthy satisfying read detailed letter – all about what I loved and appreciated in her and in my experiences of being with her as sweethearts and in our friendship years afterward to her enclosed as well.
I didn’t email her back…of course I already had her email address, but she enclosed it for those as well as her snail mail, for those who became in her inner circle who might not have had it. I can only think I didn’t and if I had I would have asked if I could drive up to see her one last time, I didn’t out of needing to create the pain and guilt and WTF was I thinking not to have done so and spurned the chance to add to her loving responses.
I visited the caring bridge and got to read this one two days before she passed which gave me great joy and everyone who visited to learn she awoke lucidly two days before she passed :
Preciousness
May 30, 2014 2:02pm
Yesterday, when W’s CD’s arrived, even though she held one in her hands, her consciousness was traveling elsewhere. This morning, however, she woke up totally lucid at 6AM and we told her that the CD’s had come yesterday. She said, “You’re kidding me! How’d they get here so fast?” We gave her a CD to hold – and she carefully looked at it all – including a gorgeous 28-page booklet that comes with it with pictures from the recording and mixing sessions – and she was both ecstatic and felt a sense of accomplishment and completion. She kissed the CD and moved her arm out as if she was tossing it out into the world and said, “Go out there and do your job.”
Its job continues W’s job – spreading seeds of love. W is pure love and pure joy, and her generosity is boundless. When she started to realize that her consciousness was drifting off again into another realm, she said with complete lucidity, “Here I go into another big adventure.” She is the essence of joy, of love, of light, of compassion, of generosity – she has no fear and is filled with peace.
The hospice nurse, J, who came this morning – who has only known W for about 9 weeks – had tears in her eyes when she left and said, “W is a tough one to leave.” Her UCSF surgeon/oncologist, Rebecca Brooks, drove up to see W last night after 12 hours in OR, to see her one more time. That is the effect W has had and continues to have on everyone she meets. We have all been blessed by having her in our lives – however deeply and long, or short and in passing.
I offered W a quote to include in her description of her song, “More of Where I’ve Been,” which you’ll see when you read the booklet. “When the bridge is gone, the narrowest plank becomes precious.” I look around our house, and see all the many, many, many “planks” W has created for us – from t-shirts to earrings to clocks to bracelets to beautiful tweeked photos of our cats, to specially designed tea cups – her creativity is boundless and the joy she has received from giving is equally boundless, and so, the list goes on and on.
J confirmed this morning that her heart is beating very fast and her blood pressure is very low – an indication that W’s final transition is near. She is sleeping very peacefully right now – no pain, no discomfort, no agitation – just completely relaxed and peaceful.
We will let you know here when her transition is complete. Know that we all have an angel with us who probably speaks in funny voices and makes funny faces. And she knows, we all are with her too, always.
Thank you to all on this beautiful site.
This was posted on Friday, that afternoon I called W’s landline as I have before just to hear her voice on the outgoing greeting and A, her dear friend, picked up the phone and I got to talk with her about how satisfying the experience was for her, A’s partner and W’s brother who was there to witness what her partner described so beautifully in the post I pasted above.
She had been lucid and feeling good all Memorial day holiday having a small circle there and the next day the post informed us she went into a sharp decline with the hospice nurse saying she was in the active dying process.
W passed on the 31st early am, having experienced the 10 day transition, out of pain, in the best loving care, mostly sleeping deeply totally relaxed.
I was very able to be to fully present, and filled with love when I got the call from a dear friend who was part of her singing group inner circle and the one who first took me to and NGW gig when I was in my 20’s. This was yesterday, the day prior I’d thought of her day and night in a good happy way, imagining the realms she was visiting.
Yesterday , the day she passed the same knowing her two trio members drove up to be with everyone after she passed. I will see them this week.
What I am expressing here, besides the utter beauty with which W passed and was so deeply loved during all of her entire journey from diagnosis to passing and the great amazing job A and Il did posting the entire time, as did W on the CaringBridge website is identifying the piece, confessing where I made the wrong choice and just wanted to share it.
My daughter is in the hospital having undergone two female area surgeries and recovering from them. We’ve been talking though out while she is there.calling me Mommy Last night I told her the whole last part W story…beginning with the section of how she recorded her CD to this last part of her passing.
This is the only place I’ve shared about my sabotage ego act. I will also to my close friend who called with the news.
Working nights with no wifi – I can’t get into the village – I think the outside gaits and closed tight!
But I am plugging right along with the lessons – in fact, i never miss one and do them all as though my very life depends on them!
Love you all!
{{{ group hug }}}
michele … thank you for sharing … these sacred and intimate places
oh these big deep places
this poem (the last verse of it I share here) by maya angelou is beautiful
“And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.” ~ Maya Angelou
though I love this poem, it’s her way of saying it
… it’s a beautiful poem
I can feel the prayer of gratitude for knowing and loving a person
a person who touches our heart and life
we are better because they were in our life
we are blessed to know kind people
we are thankful for the lessons of love
we appreciate the enormous gift of life
we feel the precious place when it’s time to leave
every soul is a great soul
soul’s don’t die
they exist always
in this quiet morning of bird songs,
all is well
I didn’t ask for what I’m about to in my post, and I have emailed Bernard asking him to remove my post above. Last night when my daughter and I were talking she mentioned googleing herself a long while back and finding a bit about her here in the in the Village. She mentioned blogs aren’t private and asked me if I knew that. My request to Bernard was spurred by our conversation. What I copied and pasted were very private thoughts expressed and I wouldn’t want anyone to be able to capture what I wrote and use it . W did post her email to us on the Bridge the next day.
Anyway…could you please give me your thoughts about my lack of response and ensuing remorse…remorse really is the word, wanting to turn back the clock and emailing that day and getting to see her one more time for the most intimate and loving visit.
I do want to add, that I have been free of my self recrimination enough to fully experience what I am perceiving as Willow’s Bardo worlds state of pure Love…no Past
I’m the one stuck and I’m really the only one who can unstuck me…that and asking my brother by bringing my darkness to his light.
Ps
The first Monday of every month is Movie night and tonight we are seeing
“As It is in Heaven” how perfect is that…the director/ or writer is reportedly a 20 year course student. I’ve seen it before and look forward to sharing it tonight with everyone. No one in my course group knows W’s story so I’ll get to share it either tonight or next Monday night.
PS I did ask Bernard to leave it for a day so enough of you can see it,it’s in moderation now.
dear Michele,
what you are describing is to me a reminder of the old ego theme of immediately using anything for guilt-searching. It tell you you could and should have done something different, and it is wrong.
Jesus tells us that we Source anything that happens to us – and if we don’t like it, we may choose again. Then a good way to start that is to forgive our judgments at ourselves, and allow all those emotions and judgments to be included in the Heart – or the Christ, if you will. All we need is to allow it to be corrected – and how sweet it is that we don’t need to know the details of that.
Warm hugs
Nina
Ah…I had a great talk with an old friend who lost her dearest friend years ago and I feel so much better. I think I’m letting myself off the hook.
When I got off the phone I read what you wrote Nina…very helpful.
Thank you for all your editing work Bernard and just leaving initials.
Love to all
I want to let you all off the hook too, in this sense with regard to not requesting your comment or help with my now former & relinquished quagmire. You’re welcome to comment whatever you want or nothing at all. I’m feeling at peace now and as my friend and I agreed…this had nothing to do with W…it was all about me and my quilt, shame and remorse never entered the beautiful lazing comet and trajectory of all the pure love and kindness W’s passing stirred in all of us who were lucky to have her love and light shine upon us.
Michele, with apologies for not participating in your deeply felt event this last week, you know you have my love forever, I will move towards restarting the stalled Lesson Bus.
154. I am among the ministers of God.
My comment: it made for very interesting reading. It’s sinking in deep. Definitely the first time I read this one word by word. The last three times, I slept throu this one.
Love, forever,
anil
God walks with me today. Today I just want to stay with love. I don’t want to listen to anything and seems the thoughts I am thinking are the thoughts I think with God. Holy thankfulness for this.
The lessons seem to be very powerful for me this time too. Love to all “forever” like Anil writes (love that!) Kendall